TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

@granolacrayons thank you yes has been a hard year and I got my hopes up about the last one, was still anxious that it might happen again but was shocked when it did. Going back and forth between feeling OK and that things might still hopefully work out next time or at least maybe we'll be able to get some answers, to overwhelming sadness and waking up in the night with the fear that we will never be able to get there. I've found it a bit easier with the second one to not force myself to go to social engagements, particularly as more people know now. Really struggled over the summer with three hen parties and weddings back to back and having to pretend everything was fine, so can understand how you feel about Christmas.

Sorry AF has arrived @DayDreamer1707 I'm currently in TWW on 4DPO I believe! Not done anymore OPKs for over a week! I'm also thinking with AF I'm ready to press reset as this second cycle after MC is going 41 days which so long! Go for your next cycle!🤞🏻

@Lilimum5 don't have any advice but hope EPU have some answers for you, can't imagine how fed up you must be as much as it's a sad experience and you grieve your loss I can imagine you want to see a negative test to have chance to accept it recover and plan again. Sending you love 💕

@MeghanV07 how you feeling? Anymore spotting or anything? I had a private scan with my last miscarriage and it had to be internal so as long as your ok with that and gives you some reassurance I would go for it xx

@Chilliandlime I can't even imagine how she thought you could possibly be fine with seeing their scan photos.

But I think you are right, you have no idea what this is like unless you have been through this. I completely understand the fear of meeting up with friends, I'm dreading Christmas for that reason.

@granolacrayons

Very normal emotions which I can completely understand. I used to feel like this a lot. I find I was hating the person I was being. My friend was rushed to hospital at 20weeks and I didn't even know as I didn't bother to check in on her for the whole first part of her pregnancy as I was so jealous. That was a sticking point for me. I knew something had to change.

Now when I see a pregnancy post I take a deep breath tell myself that will be me one day and then put the phone away and go and do an exercise class or go for a walk or something.

Stress wont be good for you physically or emotionally and if you can try manage the way these things make you feel it will help. Perhaps google some mindfulness techniques where you just sit for a few mins and focus on yourself and bring yourself back to composure - this might help you deal with things that hurt you

@granolacrayons you are not a terrible person and should never feel that way. I'm sure all of us here can relate to that reaction and it's completely normal. People have no idea unless they've been through this. My SIL announced her pregnancy when we were visiting for the weekend two days before my first ERPC and it was devastating, we hadn't told them what was happening but managed to tell them later on that evening and got the usual mixed reactions. A few weeks later she asked my oh whether she should send their 12 week scan photo to both of us or just him, it was nice of her to check but it upset me that she'd even thought I might be fine with it, it is due two weeks after our first would have been. After that I stopped using Facebook and was also terrified that each time I'd meet up with a friend that they'd announce they were pregnant. Not saying this is a good way to deal with it, just that I completely understand that feeling. Xx

@Chilliandlime sorry to hear what you have been through. What a tough year you have had. How are you feeling?

@DayDreamer1707 sorry to hear this, sending a virtual hug to you

I don't know if this is the right thread for this, but I was wondering if you all have any advice for me. I got terribly upset last night because I went on facebook and my BIL's girlfriend had posted a 20-week scan photo. I knew she was pregnant and she knows about my miscarriages. This is irrational but it felt like a punch to the stomach and I cried myself to sleep. I worried this level of distress won't help me get pregnant again. She is right to be excited, but it is really hard for me to witness. I really wish she had hidden the post from me. I am finding it really hard to be happy for others, in particular, those that have got pregnant easily or accidentally as she did, this makes me feel like a terrible person.

Hi, would it be OK to join please?

I'm 32, TTC #1, mc in June 2018 at around 6 weeks, ERPC 24th July 2018 at around 10 weeks, second mc last weekend at 6 weeks, EPRC 6th December 2018.
I'm sorry for what everyone's going through and hope 2019 will be better for everyone here xx

@MeghanV07 yes and I can enjoy Christmas and new year. Next AF is due on OH birthday so that could be nice if I don't get a visit that month xx

Oh @Lilimum5 you're really not having an easy ride are you 😔 I'm so sorry you're going through this! I don't have any answers but i hope you're EPU app on the 17th can give you some! I'm okay, although I keep having really bad dreams about having another miscarriage so I just feel 'meh' tempted to book a private scan on Sunday as I'll be 6 weeks but I just don't know what to do .

@DayDreamer1707 sorry AF has arrived 😔 but, it does mean another fresh month for you ❤️ I always ended up wishing AF was here sooner just so I could get started again. I almost felt 'cleansed' after she'd been 🤷🏽‍♀️

Morning...well AF showed up bang on schedule so on to cycle 2 for me 😔. At least I now know my cycles are back to the way they was before my MMC so ever cloud I suppose....

@TinyPaws how are you doing?! Have you retested again?
@Lilimum5 , absolutely nightmare for you! And I hope it all stops soon for your own sanity!

@DayDreamer1707 no af yet and no sign of it either.
@smerlin no, no chance DH has done is back in and is on diclofenac dimethyl ammonium so no sperm even if he could preform

That's a nightmare @Lilimum5

I presume no chance you are pg again already?

@Lilimum5 you have probably already said but have you had your AF since? I know they say it can take up to 6 weeks to leave your body but noting ever works the way we want. I had a MMC so I was still technically pregnant way over 4 weeks when I shouldn't of been. It's like our bodies don't want to let go. Keep going, it will work it's self out.

OK ladies I thought I'd waste some money ( you know why not) and broke out the more expensive tests done just 15 mins ago to see if the ic were just fooling me but no as you can see +ve's. What the hell do I do now it's been 40 days since my mc and what the hell.

@Lilimum5 if I get another BFP I'll start taking it x

@Lilimum5 I’m also on high dose iron and my GP said it takes a month for it to start really kicking in, I’ve got a repeat blood test booked for a month after starting them to see what they’ve done to my levels so don’t worry too much if you’re not feeling the impact yet.

@Laney79 so when do you plan to start taking it hun

@Lilimum5 I'm doing the same with aspirin. My consultant says only after BFP, but I know other docs disagree and see @Yukka 'a message to me a few down this thread xxx

Also I've decided to give asprin a go this time it can't hurt right? But should I start it before bfp ie after af finishes or only once I've got the bfp. It's confusing me a bit

Sorry @Lilimum5 I have no advice, but I just feel so awful for you. Virtual hugs coming your way xxx

This is my most recent ic hpt. Mc happened on 31st October so I would expect a glowing white - ve by now. Two medical managements and a erpc later and its still dragging on
Any one got any tips for getting back to zero

@TinyPaws how are you getting on hun?
@Boboelephant fingers crossed you have a little miracle this month
@hayleyfx, @KnitKitty, @Mistymeow, @Tinselbee thinking of you ladies.

As for me I'm still in limbo no af, no ovulation and still getting positives on ic hcg tests. Bloods numbers seem to be coming down just slowly. Feeling so down now. Been on iron tablets high dose for over a week now but still don't feel recovered yet. I'm on multi vits and omega and iron and vit d but still feel like I've been hit by a bus. Got some test results due back on 19th and an epu appointment on the 17th so hopefully I'll know where I am after that