TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

Oh @Lilimum5 -I just want to give you a huge hug. Scream, cry, do whatever you have to to get through it. I really feel for you.

Good news @Mistymeow - fingers crossed time goes quickly for you. So pleased you haven't had to wait any longer/fight.

@MeghanV07 it's really hard. With my second pregnancy I was determined to be positive with the "today I am pregnant" mantra. I had very few symptoms with both of mine (swollen boobs and peeing more often/tiredness) and I didn't really notice if they eased off. I think if I was you I'd assume the fact it's coming and going is a good sign. I wanted an early scan because In my head even if I miscarried again (which I did) I wanted evidence my little one existed. The scan pictures I have of both bean and bow are so precious to me.

@DayDreamer1707 I hear you about confused body!! I'm now cd20. And today I got my first high fertility reading on the clear blue opk. I'm so confuddled though. Prior to second MMC I was 26 day cycle. Ov around day 14 and a 12 day luteal phase. It too over 50 days for first af after the miscarriage. I had all the ewcm signs of ov as I expected cd11-14 but no positive opks or high fertility results on clear blue. Then started brown spotting cd16 which has continued, now getting high fertility?!?! What the actual?
Part of me is desperately trying to convince myself I'm pregnant and that spotting is due to implantation and the high fertility is because my estrogen is rising as a result of a new embryo...but my logical brain knows that's not what's happening and it's just my body being rubbish. Gah! Why is this so damn hard?!?

Think you was right @Mistymeow AF has decided to continue today I think....my body must still be a little confused. That's good that things are happening quickly for you. Nothing worse than having to wait around and have lots of tests. Once Christmas and new year is out the way you will be half way through the wait nearly.

@MeghanV07 I am sorry you are finding it difficult to relax. I think everyone experiences things different and every pregnancy you will have will be completely different too. I think the ups and downs you are having is just your hormones which is perfectly normal. As silly as it sounds be glad that you are feeling crappy sometimes, means you ARE pregnant.

I am still planning on giving it another go this month with my SMEP. Still an emotional wreck...CD3 😂

@Mistymeow wow! I bet that's a relief! 3 months isn't long at all either so at least you can relax a little and enjoy time together till the craziness happens! How exciting though. Really pleased your got referred straight away ❤️

I'm sorry if this upsets anyone - but has anyone who is pregnant or had a successful pregnancy had sudden loss of symptoms and then they return a few hours or days later? I'm 6 weeks tomorrow and some days I feel okay. Some days I feel awful. I woke up this morning feeling absolutely fine, but now I feel terrible. I'm really trying hard not to read into anything but I am so anxious I'm going to miscarry again. With my miscarriage in September I had no symptoms whatsoever. I wouldn't have even thought I was pregnant tbh! So this is a hell of a lot more than I had then but I'm just so worried. I want to book a private scan, but think what if the baby dies a few days after 😔 I just want to enjoy this pregnancy but I can't help but question everything. Sorry for the long post xx

Sorry I've not replied to your posts. I've not been on for a day as I had a proper melt down.

Congrats to those with good news xx
And hugs for those who need one xx

Babt dust and sticky stuff xx

@Dimblebimble usually the doctor will give a reason why you should wait a little. They often say wait a month, but this isn't for medical reasons- it's to date the pregnancy. I also was told I could start trying straight away. I would guess as she didn't give a real reason you could start trying but perhaps get some clarification, just in case?
@DayDreamer1707 Don't worry, cycles and af flow can be a bit odd after a miscarriage. I've had similar cycles like that. It takes a while for hormones to settle down. Af may also stop and start. It will get easier I promise x
@knitkitty the MRI sounds like a really positive step to see what's going on in detail. I'll be thinking of you next week! Glad you've had a nice birthday, you deserve a good rest.

I had my first fertility appointment today and it was a bit of a surprise. In for half an hour and immediately got accepted for IVF without any further tests, we will be put on the waiting list (3 months) and that was it! The consultant said I didn't need my tubes looked at because I can get pregnant and it's clear the problem is on my husband's side (which we have known about for years). I told her about my cycles since the miscarriage and she doesn't think I'm ovulating every month, so has given me a low dose of clomid, so I'll start than next cycle. I'm still in shock, thought it would take months of further testing.

@Dimblebimble @Justincase87 it's my 2nd and does seem really light, not going to complain I suppose but it's like it's finished within a couple of hours x

@daydreamer1707 I read online that it's normal for the first period to be either heavier or lighter than normal. I normally have relatively heavy/painful periods and it was much heavier/more painful than normal the first time after mc.

@Justincase87 I've just been reading back the past few days to make sure I didn't miss anything and I missed your news about your scan! So sorry! Glad their was a heartbeat and your dates are spot on. Please keep faith and I have everything crossed for you xxxx

My first AF after my MC was surprisingly light - I had a ERPC so I wondered if maybe it was just the lining taking longer to replenish properly? I don't have any facts to back that up but I think if it's quite normal for you, I'd just keep an eye on it.

For those tracking their ovulation - have a look at ovusense - it's a sensor that measures your BBT overnight (its not as weird as it sounds when you first read about it) and then works out when you've ovulated using an algorithm, it means you don't have to use opks and you don't have to wake up and lie still to do your temps, i used it to conceive this time, ovulate in day 23 of a 32 day cycle so very late, and we'd been missing it every month before because we were aiming for day 19 and were then bored of sex once we thought we'd hit it. It's quite expensive but worth trying for a few months to see a pattern.

As you know AF made her visit on Monday...well this is my second day and i've not bleed enough to fill even one tampon (sorry TMI) Do you think that this is because it's only my 2nd proper AF since my MC. I do normally only have very light periods anyway??

@granolacrayons that's what I've read too. I understand waiting until your first period, as this can help flush out anything remaining and prepare your body for pregnancy. She had no real reason for suggesting we wait longer 

Hey, @Dimblebimble sorry to hear that you have been having a hard time. I had the opposite advice from my consultant, he said that my odds for a successful pregnancy are higher if I get pregnant quickly after the miscarriage.

Hi everyone, I posted a little while back after my mc but joining the thread properly now that I've had my first period and we can start ttc again. We started trying last December, so a little depressing to be starting from scratch this month, but we're staying positive.

I posted about having a positive pregnancy test a month after mc - I went to the GP and then to the hospital and their pregnancy tests came back negative, but I tested again the next morning and got another line with exactly the same darkness (or rather, lightness! v. faint), and then a complete bfn the next day. My period came a few days after so I have a feeling it was a chemical pregnancy (we'd had sex 10 days before I got that first positive test, as I assumed my cycle would be delayed by at least a couple of weeks due to the miscarriage, but period came exactly a month after mc which means I may actually have had sex the day after ovulation. It worries me a little as I had a chemical pregnancy the month before the bfp/miscarriage too, surely 3 unsuccessful pregnancies (albeit two of them chemicals) in a row isn't a good sign? Or do we just discount chemicals?

Anyway, we're going to start trying again and my fertile period starts tomorrow. When I went to the hospital she suggested waiting a minimum of 2 cycles before ttc, preferably more, but gave no explanation other than to enable my body to recover Think I might just ignore this, can't find any data to back this up. I'm 29 and ideally would like multiple children, can't afford to waste months for no reason!

I'm throwing myself into work, saving (hoping to eventually move to a nicer area when we do have a little one) and health/fitness as a way to stay positive, so that I'm not resting my happiness on a successful pregnancy. At least this way, when/if it does eventually happen we'll be in the best possible position. That's my way of dealing with things anyway.

I hope you're all doing well, look forward to being a part of this thread .

P.S. What is the significance of the penguins? I keep seeing the emoji.

Spoke to soon...it hasn't stopped 🙄 more brown Cm...come on body just sort it out would ya? So frustrated.

@KnitKitty yeah, I don't intend to keep using the opks long term but wanted to get a bit more data in case I need it for investigations if I lose again, but mainly as you say control. I just want to have a bit of an idea of what my body is doing and when AF is due. AF especially as it was so very heavy cd2 and 3 last month.

Yeah -also tried to get referred to Tommy's in Coventry. They'd take me (spoke to the secretary) but neither my consultant nor gp are willing to refer me. Got a letter from my consultant yesterday following my appt and it basically said most likely explanation was chromosome due to age/chance, and that I'm still more likely to have a successful pregnancy next time than an unsuccessful one. He said in the letter it's a no to a Tommy's referral at this stage 

@Yukka you're right on the drugs to help regulate/ovulate. I was prescribed some after my first loss when I didn't stop bleeding for weeks, I never took them as the bleeding ramped into AF and finally stopped a few days later. A friend has also been prescribed clomid to help her ovulate (she has pcos) and I know others who've been given it and then fallen pregnant.

Been so busy the past couple of weeks - just wish I knew what my body was doing! Was at an awards ceremony last night with a free bar-had a few drinks. Feel a bit guilty but I just felt I needed to feel normal for a bit. Had a glass of champers and about three beers, so not crazy but still. Still no sign of a positive opk (cd19) and the brown Cm/spotting that I had the past three days appears to have stopped. Part of me was hoping it was implantation as we dtd cd11&12 which would've been perfect timing if my cycle was normal but I had no hint of a positive opk so I think I was just kidding myself it could be implantation! No egg = no baby Laney! Gahhhhh 

Thank you @DayDreamer1707, @Boboelephant, @Mistymeow** for the birthday wishes.

@Mistymeow sorry you're body seems a bit messed up. Hope it settles into some kind of rhythm soon. Best of luck at your appointment tomorrow!

@Justincase87 brilliant news. Congrats. I hope the rest of the pregnancy goes well! xxx

@Laney79 The problem with all these home testing kits is that they don't take into account the sperm's life-span. One of the times I got pregnant this year we DTD before I had a positive OPK. I think the sperm must have survived a good few days that month. Have you considered not using OPKs for a couple of months to see if it helps reduce stress levels? It cuts out all this 'am I fertile this month' worry... Just a suggestion. You may still feel more in control with testing, I know... Swings and roundabouts!
Oh, and have you considered being referred to Tommy's? They accept referrals for recurrent miscarriage from anywhere in the country and don't require 3 miscarriages, only 2, I believe.

@hayleyfx Thank you hun. I think taking a break for a bit sounds like a good plan. I felt surprisingly positive about it too. I still have wobbles of wishing I was still trying occasionally... But most of the time I've been able to completely take my mind of TTC. it's also allowed me time to think about everything and do some healing and planning for the future which I think is needed. I think not trying helps with the recurrent miscarriage testing too. I hope your referral doesn't take too long.

@Russkispy I'm sending you lots of positive vibes, baby dust and best wishes for the little bean. I hope it sticks and makes a nice home in there. Get lots of rest and look after yourself. xxx

@fnej01 Glad your acupuncture went so well. Sounds like you have a good practitioner. Hope it helps. xxx

@DayDreamer1707 I've had bleeding after sex a few times. My cervix is really sensitive so if it gets knocked it can bleed. One time was a very dramatic bleed too, but it was fine and it's normal. If it keeps happening check with your GP but I don't think they'll be concerned after it happening once or twice. And just make sure you're up-to-date with your smear.

@TinselBee I had ERPC in March. I bled for a couple of days and then spotted for about 3 weeks. Got my first negative HCG test 4 weeks after the surgery. I don't think I ovulated, and I had a 38 day cycle from ERPC to the next period. It can take your body a while to readjust.

@Yukka I'm so pleased for you that your boss was so supportive and kind. It's such a relief having someone understand and be behind you and not having to worry if you need to look after yourself a bit more. Well done for getting to 7 weeks! That seems to have flown by for me but I bet it hasn't for you. And congratulations on becoming an aunty to a new little girl. xxx

@Lilimum5 Have you considered trying alternative medicine? Acupuncture or what have you? I really feel for you. You might partly be feeling drained because you've been through the emotional ringer as well, so be kind to yourself. Do everything you can to take it easy and be as healthy as possible. There will be an end to this; stay strong.

Hi @Chilliandlime So sorry to hear about your losses. Welcome. xxx

@granolacrayons I can guarantee you almost all of us have had the same experience of seeing a pregnancy post of FB and felt that kick in the stomach and cried themselves to sleep. We understand. It's really hard. You can hide posts from her for now. I'm afraid you just have to feel the feels; have a good cry and don't blame yourself for feeling this way. Hugs xxx

@TinyPaws I'm gutted for you. I really hope that this is 'just' a bump in the road leading to a beautiful life as a mum to a lovely little human. Just sending you masses of hugs right now. xxx

I've got my appointment through for my MRI, which is next Tuesday. Another mile-stone to reach. Thank you whoever said that, it's helping.
Feeling very up and down emotionally recently. I think not TTC has allowed me to start processing feelings I'd set to one side; which is good. Feeling strong, but emotional, if that makes any sense. Cried myself to sleep a couple of nights ago, out of the blue, but felt better for it the next day.
I had a very lovely weekend and having a take-away as a birthday treat soon.

Sending hugs to everyone. xxx

I'm so sorry @TinyPaws that it's not better news. I understand the waiting. My partner is pretty much infertile and it's hard knowing that we are more than likely to fail to conceive month after month. We have our first fertility appointment tomorrow. I really feel for you and I hope you have a good support network looking after you during this time. Have you spoken to anyone on the infertility board? I'm sure there will be women who have gone through similar who also have same sex partners, perhaps they can give you a bit of extra support.
@yukka that's extremely sad about your friend. There are so many of us struggling, and I agree there isn't anywhere near enough support.

@granolacrayons as others have said, most of us have felt that way. It's a completely normal response. I would mute your BIL's girlfriend for 30 days until perhaps you feel a bit better to see updates. I felt I could see my pregnant friends a month after my miscarriage- it was part of my recovery, to be ok around pregnant women and talk about how I was feeling. Take it easy and slowly. Do what feels right for you.

I've realised I'm cd10 today, not 15dpo. What a crazy cycle last month was! Hoping it was just a one off. Fertile signs look good. We got a cancellation at our local hospital to see the assisted conception people, so we have that tomorrow. Will let you know how I get on!

@TinyPaws , I'm so sorry to read your update! I'm still hoping there's a miracle for you!

@TinyPaws never be sorry for offloading! I'm so sorry hun, sending you so much love ❤️ ttc is absolutely shit sometimes. Xxxxx

Ooops sorry @boboelephant, @mistymeow and @hayleyfx I missed your posts when I hit enter. Your good wishes are much appreciated, unfortunately it looks like this pregnancy has failed.

Thanks @Laney79 @DayDreamer1707 @Knitkitty

@MeghanV07. Unfortunately it looks like in this case the darkness of the lines was highly relevent :(

@Lilimum5 Test is now super-faint, it's looking like it's only a matter of time before I start bleeding.

@Russkispy Not too good, test this morning super faint, it's looking very much like another miscarriage. Good luck with your IVF cycle.

I feel so broken by this. It's not like I can just go out there and try again as I have a same sex partner. It's so expensive, too. The wait for a cycle review appointment at my clinic is more than 2 months. Sorry to offload on you guys, I'm just feeling really really low at the moment.

@granolacrayons

Absolutely not terrible person! I couldn't even watch a programme without tearing up that contained babies or pregnancy and I also deleted Facebook and ghosted the whole of social media for a long time as I was off work as well! I had a run in with my Mum only 3 weeks after my ERPC my cousins GF had a baby which must have been a lovely time for them and I don't Deny them that happiness however my mum started posting pictures of this beautiful baby all over a WhatsApp group I was with my mum and sister and I had to leave it really hurt. It was 3 weeks to the day of the Surgery I wasn't coping very well and barely keeping it together and I just had to leave the group my mum didn't think that was insensitive and my sister told me people have other things going off in their lives as if to tell me to get over it! we didn't talk for a few weeks not just because of the incident but also other incidents that had happened when I told them I was expecting they weren't bursting with happiness or anything positive to say and treated it like the elephant in room despite me being 26 married and owning my own home, it wasn't until I lost the baby that she acted liked she cared. So bit of a long story there but you are entitled to feel what you feel and you ride every wave of emotion, grief is horrible. I am so sorry for your loss. I got very angry about week 4/5 post MC why me? What did I do? All usual things and now I'm nearly 10 weeks and I'm feeling more peace although still hurt. Be kind to yourself 💖

@DayDreamer1707 that would be wonderful, the best birthday present ever ❤️

@Chilliandlime I'm so sorry for your losses hun ❤️

@granolacrayons you're not a terrible person at all! I hated absolutely everyone who announced a pregnancy. I thought why do they get to keep their baby and I don't? I did what chilliandlime did, I deleted Facebook for a while and it really helped me.

@OctoberGirl91 no more spotting at all thanks goodness. I've still got symptoms, metallic taste in my mouth, headache, cramps & slight nausea. But because I know you can still have symptoms and miscarry, I am just so so worried 😔. Xx