TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

@Lilimum5, you were completely right, just been for my scan and they confirmed retained products two weeks after erpc. Thanks for the advice. Wasn't surprised as had bad cramping and bleeding the past two evenings. The midwife said I had to have a second one (which would be third in 5 months) and I burst into tears so she said the consultant will call me tomorrow to discuss options. Really glad you finally got the all clear.
Lots of love to everyone xx

Here it is...
www.zitawest.com/improve-quality-of-my-eggs/

@awakeatnight glad it all went well and good to hear your positivity for the upcoming weeks.
I was born in USSR (back then) but grew up in Riga from the age of 10. And left for Berlin when was 18, and for London when I was 21. And never went back. And here I am 42. With first failed IVF and no Frosties. But have my precious DD from my very first successful IUI in 2016. With a MMC from IUI this June. And 2 failed IUIs in October and November. And now failed IVF. I've picked myself up off the floor and will soldier on as I do. Just trying to work out what's next and best for me. Dad is visiting us end of January and that could have been my fresh round of IVF but maybe I step back and work on egg quality even more. I read some article about it last night and will post it shortly. From what I've read, I pretty much follow all of it. Although I bought something else after I read it. Will continue with acupuncture and reflexology and just throw anything and everything I've got! And will stay chilled (hate word relaxed in TTC world! It should be bloody banned!)

@Random2468 your story is similar to my first MMC - unplanned surprise must have ovulated super early. But we were so happy. Saw a healthy baby at 8+5 but at 12 week scan found it has died around 9+6. Devastated does not begin to cover it. I was also desperate to try again and launched in to opk and temping like a woman possessed (basically I was possessed!) but in hindsight I don't think that helped DH deal at all. Mostly I believe this process is about us though - the woman bears the baby and needs to know her body. Agree with you on baby announcements. It's so bloody hard. I'm living in a sea of pregnancy it seems. And now also paranoid about who's feeling I hurt/will hurt when it's our turn. I feel like we just can't win! @Yukka Has given some excellent advice though. You'll find this group a great source of knowledge and comfort.

@Dyra sorry to hear you are struggling and your AF is being a witch. You better order some extra Xmas chocolate in, you know - for medication when she arrives! Exciting times with Clomid though - I
Hope that's your answer. Sorry if you've been through this lower down the thread ignore me but do you know if/ when you ovulated?

@Lilimum5 you're allowed to be both happy and sad! The TTC train is a cruel ride particularly for us ladies that can't seem to catch a direct route! I'm happy for you that you finally got the 'all clear' but sad for what you've lost and share your fear of the potentially turbulent times ahead.

@Mumtobe89 Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Welcome and good luck!

@Russkispy sorry about BFN abut Good luck with that shagathon! Where's home for you if you don't mind me asking?

@fnej01 @OctoberGirl91 The gynae consultant surgeon told me yesterday, as did the EPU nurse that there's no known harm to taking baby aspirin (75mg) from conception to 12 weeks and to speak to the EPU as soon as you can for further advise.

@Justincase87 My heart goes out to you. How scary. have you had news yet?

@Laney79 Huge hugs to you. I'm so so sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. I know it's not as east as just being kind to yourself but small, positive steps can make a difference. Book a massage, go for a walk, have a cup of tea and a biscuit! But also to echo the other girls and say to look in to 'proper' counselling. I know it's hard. This is STILL on my to do list as well. The reflexologist I was seeing went some way to help but I don't think I can go back to her now as while the treatments and chat made me feel better, ultimately she hasn't fixed my body and isn't appropriately trained to heal my mind!

@fnej01 @SerenaOverjoyed Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I'll update once I know more about what's on the table for us.

Serena - congratulations! I hope all goes well for you. Did the RMC give you any advice for early pregnancy? Obviously we all have different issues but it seems the aspirin keeps coming back as a general 'aid'

Lots of love everyone - sorry to anyone I've missed. Will try to be more on the ball now! Xxx

Hi everyone! Sorry for radio silence since my first post back. You know how it goes those first few days.

I had surgery yesterday and it seemed to go well. 90 mins of questions over bloods including talking to a research nurse about a trial we have contributed to (blood test for infection to assess how it might impact miscarriage) . The EPU nurses are so kind. I don't know how they hold it together day after day. I suppose more often than not they deal with happy outcomes and we are just (persistently) seeing the downside.

I'm dealing so much better this time as I just never let myself fall in love with the idea and was convinced there’d be bad news at the end. Not sure whether my body actually knew there was something wrong or whether my brain took over to protect itself and be ‘surprised’ by good news If you know what I mean? in the new (ish) year (theres about a three month waiting list) we will be going to see a consultant about why we are having so much trouble. I'm a bit torn whether to plough on straight away. Part of me thinks that we've just had terrible luck and waiting for RMC another possibly 6
Months with tests results and cycles just to 'keep trying' would be awful. But what if there's something they could give me to help a baby along? The nurse and consultant both said that they didn't think there was any harm in using aspirin and progesterone cream so I'll just hold out hope that that's enough if we do happen to catch again before too long.

Have purchased my opk, reset fertility friend (oh boy do they make that more
Difficult than it needs to be to not see your pregnant chart!!!) and hopefully back to it in a couple weeks. Ugh!

Thank you everyone for your support and advice, I'll try to actually answer some posts now :)

So sorry to hear you're feeling low @Dyra I am thinking of you

Thanks for the reply @Yukka I woke up to a really heavy period today, but my first since my ERPC 9 weeks ago. Strangely I'm feeling positive rather than sad, even though I was tracking through natural cycles app and we seemed to have sex at exactly the right time around my ovulation and it's still ended in a period - i guess I can just look at this that my body is getting back to itself after the MC. Only thing is I'm really worried that I'm now going to have really long cycles and it's going to take a long time till I next get a bfp

Sorry I am new to Mumsnet and realised I didn't really properly introduce

I'm 28 TTC #1 and had MMC in October this year with an ERPC. Had early scan at 5 and 7 weeks after some bleeding, the second scan confirmed heart beat and viability. Found out baby had died 8-9 weeks at 12 week scan with no signs. It was the hardest thing I've been through to date.

We got accidentally pregnant in August (why is it always so easy when you're not trying?!) but this whole situation has changed my outlook on what i want and now desperate to get back into TTC.. DH not quite sure ready for it but more so because he's not sure he's ready to go through the past few months again if we have another MC - he was ok with it but he said it's been very stressful worrying about me, as I've taken it pretty hard. I think about it every day and 7 people in my life have made baby announcements in the last few months, and I absolutely hate being jealous rather than just purely overjoyed for them.. Each day becomes a little easier though

Sending thoughts and love to all those on this thread going through such trying times and keeping all my fingers crossed for loads of bfp's soon

@Dyra sorry you are feeling so low. Sending you strength and a hug x

I feel that was a mistake to read that lovely blog post at work... Time to hide for a little while.

Coming up to a second Christmas of trying with only the 3 weeks of a BFP back in March to show for it. Due to start Clomid, but after 6 cycles of exactly 32 days, (after years of irregular periods) AF is refusing to rear her ugly head. She is now 10 days late (3 tests taken, all with a single stripe) and I'm pretty sure she's preparing to stay with me over the holidays instead (the.... witch).

Utterly miserable atm and I'm really struggling to summon up anything resembling Christmas cheer. Not even bothered putting my Christmas decorations up. Why bother? It's usually only me who enjoys them anyway.

Also I saw this today and thought you might all like to read it - to the girl with baby on her Christmas list www.asweetaromablog.com/2014/12/to-girl-with-baby-on-her-christmas-list.html?m=1

@Lilimum5 totally understandable that you have mixed emotions and feel confused at this stage. Sending hugs, and glad your body is going to allow things to get back to normal physically.

Well I've had a really strange day.

I had an epu appointment and I was told my hcg number is 15 and my scan was clear. So midwife states " as your numbers are under 25 I can close your failed pregnancy case" it was a bit upsetting to be honest. She then said "crack on if you wish to try again"
So I then get home a bit emotional to discover I'm now cd1 of first AF finally after 3 procedures post mmc in October . I think the iron tablets are starting to work because I'm not as tired as I was. So providing that the blood test results are good on Wednesday I'm officially back on the ttc train, let the crazy begin.
The only problem is that I can't work out if I'm happy or sad about this.

May I join?

TTC #1
MMC October '18
Cycle 2 since then, currently CD17

We conceived in cycle 2 of trying last time. Just taking things slowly and trusting our bodies. I have been using Flo and also OPKs since CD12 line was slightly darker today. Ovulation expected CD19-21 so I'm in my fertile week now. Going to try and hold off testing until the New Year if at all possible! I am also starting some counselling sessions in January which will be helpful in processing all that's happened.
Sending baby dust to all and hugs to those who need

Thank you lovely ladies! Waiting for AF to fully start. And after it's gone then a shagathon time! Haha and if that won't work, then will start IVF again and will fly home from day 1 of injections, so I'm under full observation of my doctor. Till ET.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage @Random2468 and about your bfn @Russkispy , sending virtual hugs 

How is everyone else doing with Christmas ttcing?

This is the month we started ttc last year, so a bit sobering. Had a peak opk on my normal day, so reassured that things are getting back to normal, but didn't have my usual symptoms so wondering whether I'm not fully fertile yet. We dtd a few times anyway. How many times do you normally aim for in the fertile week?

Is anyone else trying to loose weight while ttc? I'm a stone over my healthy bmi limit and I wonder whether it's affecting ttc

@Russkispy Sorry it was a BFN.

Sorry to hear about your BFN Russki, it must be so tough when you go through so much (and time, money etc).

My AF has finished but not feeling too confident about TTC this cycle. I’ve had a blood test today to see if my iron has improved but also got my print off from last time and my iron was 5.1 which is really quite low so don’t know if a month of tablets is enough to make a real impact. Don’t want to risk anything going wrong again so want all my levels to be perfect.

It's BFN for me. Of course gutted but soldier on. Waiting to hear from the doctor. Think will have to wait for a cycle and then start IVF again since we don't have frosties.

@OctoberGirl91 no don't be worried, that's pregnancy. I know it's hard but you have to remember to stay positive and you will get the odd ache, your body is growing a baby and will be going through lots of changes. Embrace the feeling like poop, you will get the best reward in the end. x

Thank you @DayDreamer1707 did a CB and got pregnant 1-2 this morning although I'm anxious woke up at 2am last night with wave of extreme nausea and then since 6am had constant lower backache above my buttock should I be worried?xx

@OctoberGirl91 congrats only just seen this, just in time for Christmas too xx

I am having another bad month as i got a positive OPK on CD6 which has to be far too early....feeling like I'm already out this month x

Hi all!
New to Mumsnet
Had a missed miscarriage in October.. had a D&C and haven’t got my period since. Been charting and looks like I’m 10dpo now. Last time I found out I was pregnant at exactly 4 weeks and then after 2 initial scans (due to 2 weeks of spotting which then stopped at 6 weeks) found out the baby had died 8-9 weeks at the 12 week scan. Just wondering if anyone else feels whether testing too early is actually worse than just waiting and seeing if I get any pregnancy symptoms? I just don’t want to become too attached too soon... Wednesday will be 14 days dpo but wondering if I just wait and see if still don’t have a period by then? I think I’ll probably have an idea if no period but basal temp remains high but just not sure whether to officially test yet, maybe having the early knowledge is actually more stressful than not! Anyone who’s felt similar?

Thank you to all of you that sent lovely messages about my appointment. The paperwork arrived today for funding, just hope being 2 lbs off the BMI lower limit will be ok. The consultant didn't seem too concerned but said it would be helpful if I could put on a little more weight. I hope the CCG allow a bit of flexibility.

@awakeatnight I am so sorry to read your news. How are you doing?
@TinyPaws I also have intrusive thoughts/nightmares about the scan I had (my sonographer was like ice and made me feel stupid). It was so distressing. I find it helps when an intrusive thought pops into my head, I replace it with a thought of the positive people who helped me (the kind midwives, the nurses that had jokes with me).

@OctoberGirl91 congrats on your BFP! I would imagine a low dose of aspirin can't do any harm but I'm not at all medical- probably best you get advice from your GP.
@justincase87 Sorry to hear you have had a bleed. I'm very much hoping you get positive news on monday at the EPU. I will be thinking of you.
@Laney79 As the others have said, I also feel you would benefit from some counselling. You both need support and time to recover from what has happened this year, which has been relentless. What's making everything worse is the pressure of time running out, and feeling you must have something wrong with you because you are in that rare category of having two mmc. Of course you feel like the odds are against you, and have lost faith in your body. All normal feelings from what you have gone through. But I believe it would really help you to unpick these feelings with someone who understands. Regarding DH and pressure- it's very difficult. How do you relieve pressure in a pressurised situation? Sorry for the tmi, but have you considered a pot and syringe during fertile time if dh isn't feeling up to being intimate? I have done this with my DH if he is working late, and when he is unable to finish DTD (mainly due to his condition and fluctuating hormones). We make light of it but it does take the pressure off and means we are still in with a shot every month. I thought I would mention it in case it's an option, although my main concern is your DH is clearly suffering too and you both need help. Sending hugs x

Just hope* auto correct

Thank you ladies just got we have a healthy baby 🤞🏻 I'll keep you updated good luck to anyone waiting to test and to anyone healing from miscarriage or loss sending my love 💖 such a shit road we have to travel but hopefully there is light at end of tunnel for us all xx