TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

Also love your post @Laney79, totally captures how I feel about last year!
Was feeling positive yesterday as I went to the gp to get a referral to the rmc. I was told by the consultant at the hospital that I'd have to wait 8 weeks to have the blood tests but I found out from the gp they'd already tested for potential hormonal issues in September and all came back fine, so I can have the other blood tests tomorrow and was hoping I'd be able to take them to a private consultation before the end of January rather than waiting several months for the rmc appointment.
Feeling pretty low this morning though as close friend just texted to tell me she's pregnant as we were supposed to meet up today and she knew it would be hard for me. Was waiting for this text and trying to prepare myself as her dd is 3 and she'd been so supportive by text over the past month but hadn't offered to visit, as it would probably have been hard to hide. I'm happy for her but why are pregnancy announcements so uniquely painful when you're going through this. OH is trying to be supportive but is finding it hard to understand.

Hoping that all of us on here have a much happier 2019 xxx

Hi everyone can I join the thread? Sorry to everyone for their losses and hope 2019 is a better year for you all.

Age 37. TTC#2. Got our BFP after 9 cycles at end of November but mmc discovered 24/12 at 8 weeks then miscarried over Christmas.

I hope you don't mind me asking but how did you know when you were ready to TTC again? Part of me just wants to start right away and part of me just feels exhausted even thinking about starting all over again

Hi All,

Just thought I would pop on to wish you a happy New Year.
Haven't posted recently as am not TTC, and am in the middle of RMC tests. Hoping to be back to it in a couple of months.
Agree that 2018 has been the toughest of years, and love your post @Laney79.

Wishing us all lots of luck and baby dust in 2019 xxx

No worries @Lilimum5 the gif that went with helped sign it off...ab fab's patsy flicking the v's.

@Laney79 hope you don't mind but a stole your social media piece I couldn't have said it any better.

Wishing you all a better year next year xx

Hi all. I just want to say I hope 2019 is better for all of us.

I just posted this on social media alongside an appropriate gif...I think it sums up my feelings exactly...

"Well 2018. Despite the absolute s**t you’ve sent my way I’m still here. Frankly I can’t wait to see the back of you. I know there were some good things that in other years would’ve made for one of the best, but honestly the bad was so bad it sucked all the joy from the good...so in the words of dear old queenie- ta-ra annus horribilis. And listen up 2019-I’m banking on you to turn things around and give me a break yeah?"

@TinyPaws thank you. I’ve had all Chicago tests and my partner had the sperm comet tests, both of which resulted in various diagnoses. Unfortunately nothing came of my NHS recurrent miscarriage tests but some of the ladies I’m in touch with online have had testing and treatment through the NHS alone. I’m actually under NHS care as they accepted my private results and are happy to prescribe treatment for clotting issues.

@MakeLemonade couldn’t agree more, total mind fuck! I actually feel a whole lot better after sharing and reading some of your responses though!

@Yukka as you say this treatment plan is may well be the reason why I should keep going. My partner is very much of the mind that the last loss, being so early, isn’t related as such. I’ve had a lot of me time since the summer. Just trying to live without secondary infertility hanging over us. And the counselling has helped but I plan to start yoga again tomorrow and I started swimming again recently. I’ve also got a happiness journal for the next 100 days and love your suggestion of seeing how I feel in a month after using all of these self-care tools.

@Chilliandlime thank you I think a continued breather is very much the right way forward!

@InDreamland your reply really touched me, thank you

Wishing you all a gentle new year and I hope 2019 brings you happiness

I agree with others - sh1ttiest 2018! And here's to the better 2019 and lots of baby dust across our thread! And whoever else needs it! Everything crossed for us 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

@MakeLemonade fsh is follicle stimulating hormone and it's what makes the ovaries get ready to pop the egg out. The higher it is, the harder the ovaries are having to work, which could indicate fewer eggs left.

Mine should have been 8.4 for my age. Anything under 10 is supposed to be ok, so I'm trying to see that as ok. The doctor said that I'm definitely ovulating so she isn't overly worried, but we probably don't have time to hang around. Semen test for Dh is the next step to see how long we should try for naturally. This just isn't how I wanted it to be- stressful and scary. Really don't know how I can change my mindset to feel more positive.

Wish I could see in to the future. Thank you for the hand holds ladies, let's hope 2019 is our year xx

@MakeLemonade try hold out if you can until 12dpo at least. It's tough but better to not be disappointed when potentially it is just too early. Fingers crossed you get your BFP this cycle.

@Lilimum5 agree with the others, this had just been the shittiest year for you (and rest of us). Hope 2019 brings you better times x

Oh @Lilimum5 straight to the centre of the huddle for you 🐧🐧 the hellhole of 2018 will soon be over and 2019 will be a better year (it has to!)

So sorry @Lilimum5, 2018 has just been shite Here's to a better 2019!

So boxing day I had a positive on my clearblue fertility monitor. So blood test done 27th. Further +ves 27th , 28th and 29th. 29th blood results of 80 hcg beta on 27th finally 30th - ve on cbfm. Have another blood test Thursday but I already know the answer.
I'm glad this is the last day of this year 😭

@Chilliandlime sorry you found it so painful, sounds like they’ve got a decent plan in place now which is good news - better late than never.

@InDreamland I don’t know, I think I’m 8dpo and a pack of internet cheapies arrived today so it’s tempting to do one in the morning but I also don’t want to know and also know I’m testing too early. Sorry about what happened to you last month, that’s a good reason to sit tight if you can. Pressure of a date is horrible. I’ll have another shot next month to get in before my son’s due date and I know logically they are unrelated but can’t help think about it too.

@weecrumb I'm so sorry you read of all your losses. The fact you're still standing and carrying on despite how you feel deep down shows how strong you are. Probably stronger than you think or believe, especially when you feel like this. I'm glad you have a counsellor hopefully they can help next time you speak to them. Sending you lots of hugs

@MakeLemonade I'm with you on the TWW being boring ..........😴 I'm on CD22 and I think 7dpo. Will you test before AF is due? I am thinking now I won't test until I'm at least a week late. Last month I tested a couple of days after AF was sure, got BFP then lost that baby a few days later so I'm put off testing too soon now. With first pregnancy earlier this year I didn't test until I was 2 weeks late because I just never believed I could actually concieve. This tww is worse as it's my last chance of getting/ being pregnant before first baby's due date.

@Chilliandlime sorry you found it painful. Glad though that you're getting a scan and referred to rmc.

Thank you for the handhold. Found the MVA incredibly painful, it was actually worse than I imagined. I know many people find it ok though. The Dr thought she had removed everything but only seemed 99% sure. Not getting quite the same twinges I was before so I think it's been successful. I had a scan booked it already for the 15th January to look at uterus shape so hopefully that'll confirm it. The Dr yesterday also said she's going to insist to the gp that we are referred to the rmc, even though we've 'only' had two (maybe because she felt bad about the erpc not working?), but won't hold my breath as she said the waiting list is a few months, just going to look on it as a bonus.

@Weecrumb so sorry to hear about your losses. It is a mentally and physically exhausting journey and as MakeLemonade says your feelings sound normal. I know some people say it helped them taking a breather from ttc, but you have to do whatever feels right for you.
@MakeLemonade fingers crossed for you!
Xx

Welcome @WeeCrumb and sorry to hear about your challenging journey so far. TTC after loss is a total mind fuck so I think your feelings sound totally normal to me.

This two week wait business is boring. No champagne just in case and nothing to ‘do’ like opks etc. How many dpo to start testing? 11/12?

Welcome @WeeCrumb and sorry to read your story. I would be interested to hear about your testing as I'm currently awaiting a recurrent miscarriage appointment and do not have confidence that all necessary tests will be done on the NHS.

Hi, I hope you won’t mind me joining, but I’m feeling so lost.

My partner wants to TTC again (and soon) but I’m hesitant after 5 losses. We’ve had all possible NHS and private testing which I won’t go into the details of for now (but would be happy to for anyone who’s interested). There’s male/female factor infertility at play and we have a treatment plan, which we embarked on before our most recent loss which was a chemical pregnancy.

I haven’t been eating well or taking my supplements since then and while the professionals are confident about us continuing and my OH is in very good health now (he had a lot of improvements to make) I guess you could say my head is in the sand. I’m just so scared of another loss. And yet over Christmas I found myself chatting to family and friends about the possibility of trying again so part of me is clearly coming round to the idea. My actions just don’t match up with my wants and needs though.

I have a daughter who was conceived at a time where I wasn’t thinking about a family and part of me thinks if it’s going to happen it’ll happen and I may as well try now. Then there’s my head that says you need to spend months making your body baby friendly before trying. (Yet here I am eating my body weight in chocolate.)

I know this behaviour isn’t unusual. Fear takes over and we do the strangest things. And while I’d love to be eating well and exercising my body and mind are so tired of the fertility regime I was following.

I need someone help me sort my head out, to ask me the right questions. I’m so confused and am finding it hard to understand what I actually want

I probably need to direct this at my fertility counsellor but I won’t see her for a few weeks so thought I’d see if I can seek some support online

Thanks @strawberrye. Sending you lots of hugs. Fingers crossed that once you can start TTC again it does happen quickly for you.

@Chilliandlime sending you a handhold today x

@InDreamland morning and sending a hand hold as you approach your due date, it's never easy.

@Chilliandlime thinking of you and hoping it goes well today.

Christmas was better than expected, although still pretty tough as due date number 2 was Boxing Day. Feeling a bit frustrated at the moment that we can't TTC as I'm waiting for the thyroxine to work and for my TSH to be in a safe range. Can't get it retested until the end of January and will be missing two fertile windows which feels like such wasted opportunities although knowing my track record it will take longer than that. Finding things tough at the moment.

Hi ladies. How was everyone's Christmas? I hope you could find some enjoyment in the day. @Lilimum5 glad it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be.

Sending you a handhold @wearytree x

2019 is fast approaching and I am so desperate to be pregnant again before due date (end of January) of the first baby we lost but this cycle is our last chance after losing a second last month. Supposed to be 36 weeks tomorrow. Fingers crossed for all of us here for 2019 pregnancies and healthy deliveries!