University and TTC

Well you're obviously going to do it regardless of what experienced parents have to say. But prepare your self for 10 years plus of benefits. Living in a shithole, having to send your kid to the local sink school, unable to afford new shoes. Your dp won't stick around.

But hey all the kid needs is love and food. they don't need their own room, shoes, clothes, decent schools, opportunities Phew!

What's the rush? You're really young. You will change a lot over the next few years. Why not finish your training, save, get married, buy a house. Then have a baby when it's all easier with less pressure. All a baby needs is love is true. But why wouldn't you want to give your baby the best if you have the choice?

You will also have a fallback in case of unforeseen circumstances - illness, child with sn, redundancy, splitting up. You don't know what will happen in the future. Good parents plan for the future in a slow sensible way. Then they are able to give the dc a safe loving home and can handle whatever knocks life throws at them.

So you’re already TTC?

If you have any doubts, then seriously think about stopping. You’ve had advice from posters who know about teacher training, NQT and teaching itself regarding the difference between doing the training before and post kids. What is the rush to have a baby when you’ve not got an entirely stable foundation, profession/job, and the financial wherewithal to do this without relying on benefits (great that safety net is there, but not great to rely upon particularly in recent times)?

On the one hand I wish I'd had my kids younger (First was born when I was 30) but waiting for this long is what has enabled me to take a few years out of work to be a mostly SAHM. We paid off our mortgage just after DS1 was born (have moved recently to a nicer area and have a small mortgage again). So our living expenses aren't that high but it's still a stretch to live on one income. I worked part time between kids until DH got a better paid job. The eldest is at school now and I'm home with the youngest. It can still be difficult when the eldest is ill or I need to be at school for something. I'm in awe of parents who both work and manage it at school age. There's still a lot of child care to cover outside school hours as well as the demands of school (homework, costumes, performances, various parent activities etc).
At the end of the day, you know your situation best but I'd urge you to consider not just the first few years but how things will work after that and plan for every eventuality. I understand the broodiness and how consuming it can be but even at 30 there was a lot I was unprepared for, and I'd planned for years.

You are in 30k debt you going to track up another 5k and rely on government funding because you are feeling a bit broody? I think you need to grow up before you consider having a child tbh. Finish your teacher training.
You say your partner will be ok to support you for the next few years, then what?

Based on previous threads, you have had doubts yourself as to whether he wants to stay with you and get married.

Get yourself financially stable, allow yourself time to build a career and independence. Put yourself in the strongest position possible that you can be the best parent in all eventualities and afford to give your child the best possible start. That’s what being a parent is about.

Really and truly, it’s all very well saying that all a child needs is food, a home and love, but money helps massively in taking away concerns regarding making rent, enough money for food, for clothes, for all of that. Factor in also that you may want to have a sibling for a baby within the 5 years before th first goes to school, and where does that leave you in terms of ever getting to work and having fallback profession that you can count on if the relationship doesn’t work.

You are at risk of placing yourself in an incredibly vulnerable position, ceding all independence and earning capacity to be a SAHM when unmarried.

What if your partner loses his job? Where’s the money coming from for your rent and living costs?

It makes so much more sense to have a few years of working hard, saving money and getting financially and professionally established before thinking about having a baby, and if you plan to SAHP, being married should be high in your list of priorities ( not necessarily a wedding, a marriage - can be done cheaply).

Does your partner have any say in this ?

Reality of having a child wasn’t for him apparently.
Our baby slept through the night at a week old, never got ill, wasn’t even a puker.

He wanted me to himself/to bugger off with friends when he wanted/never did anything around the house.

We never even argued, I would have done anything to make him want to be with us.

He went to work when baby was 8 months and he never came back.
Life lesson learnt.

You need to make sure you are in a good strong position before having a baby. If you are this young its a helluva lot of pressure and not the dream you might imagine, see pp ^ how quickly it can all go so horribly desperately wrong when you are not independently strong, and even when you are.

This is your finals year, why is your head not just full of getting the best class of degree you can after your years and years of study?

How can you use your student loan to cover expenses in a few years’ time if you are in your final year now?

How old are you ?

Are you being straight with us about this? How old are you, like regular uni age? Do you and you partner currently support yourselves ok financially living together?

It just doesnt stack up what you're saying

He clearly doesnt earn enough if you have to claim govt funding to support you.

You are still being very naive, even with a child at school. How will you pay for breakfast or after school care ? What will you do when your child is ill ? I've been a teacher a long time and seen many student teachers, many with younger children drop out.

Did degree, fell pregnant unplanned, baby dad turns out to be a total fucktard after previously being wonderful for 3 years, fucktard abandoned us, homeless, emergency accommodation for 3yrs, did PGCE in this time (god knows how), got a flat, took a year to get it to habitable condition as was skint, lived in one room whilst doing all that, all good now but I am scarred emotionally and financially probably forever.

Just calm your ovaries, you have plenty of time.