University and TTC

I’m actually really really cross about this thread so I’m checking out.

You’re not listening to anyone- you’re an absolute raving mad knobber. And I pity your future childZ

The other issue here is you’re entirely dependent on your boyfriend for this plan to work.

What if he leaves you? You’ll have jack shit and no family support as back up.

Been there babes, it’s a living fucking hell.

Again, you are not going back to work as you don’t have a career to go back to.

As you have already made your mind up, I hope it works out for you and that you aren’t on here in a few years time asking for advise on how to cope.

A baby will not magically cure your loneliness, if anything it may isolate you even more when you're stuck at home all day, no job and little money whilst your partner is at work. Do your training, get a job and some financial security. Do not make the mistake of depending so much on your partner, particularly with no support network of your own, that's insane.

If you think a baby is going to solve all your issues you couldn’t be any more wrong. They are isolating for even the most sociable people. They will cost you more and more money every year.

I work in a school and so many teachers don’t come back to work after having children because it’s so hard to juggle.

By the sounds of it your boyfriends family will not be happy and you’ll loose their support.

I can’t suggest any more plainly, this is not a good idea right now!

I got pregnant at uni (unplanned) and even though I was 23 when I had DD it has taken many years to get back to a place of financial security and to move away from state help. State benefits whilst an absolute life saver are not easy to live on. Choosing between good winter shoes / coats for everyone in the family and putting the heating on. In the early years, I had no internet, no smart phone or devices, no tumble dryer so clothes were constantly drying around the house. We spent our days out at baby groups and the library because it was warm and I didn't have to heat the house. And that was before Universal Credit came in which I spent much worse.
What are you going to do about housing? I was very fortunate to be eligible for a council flat but they are few and far between and rent cripples most people so that they can't buy a home for themselves.

I work as an unqualified teacher/instructor now and it's hard, reallly really hard to balance everything. Teaching is not a great job for those with young children, at least when you are starting out. Finish your training, get some work experience that way you could go into supply to keep finances time can't over and sort yourselves out financially and with your accommodation - then plan to have a baby. Doing it any other way on purpose is a ridiculous idea and likely to lead to a life of hardship.

Perhaps you could find friends on your pgce and when you start working. You're putting all your eggs in one basket - being a sahp is lonely even for people with lots of family and friends. It isn't fair to have a child to fill up an emptiness in your life. You should be thinking about what you can offer a child not how they could improve a lonely life.

Oh goodness no, I’d do your teacher training if that’s what you want to do, and find a job for a couple of years at least. Then you’ll get proper maternity pay and have some teaching experience under your belt all before the age of 25.

You're in cuckoo land

A child will not fill that loneliness hole. You're at uni - go make friends!! It will never be as easy to make real friends again!!!!

It's naive to think you can breeze becoming a teacher with a child. Have a look at some of the becoming a teacher with children threads on tes!!!

The reason I want to have a child is because I feel lonely and very very broody. I have no family or blood of my own so I think it will be emotionally fullfilling as well for my partner

God it gets worse. A child is not an emotional crutch.

So you have no family support and will be utterly dependent on your dp ?

that is unfair of you to say.

But realistic. Your posts are ridiculously naive and childish. You're like a little kid - I want it and I want it now. No thought for the future at all.

Are you married to him? Do you own your house? Do you know for certain he will not be made redundant, be ill, that you won't have a child with sn, that you won't split up?

If not then there is more you could do to offer the best possible security for your child.

The most worrying thing about this thread is the naivity which in itself suggests you are not prepared to be a mother.

I don’t really want to share my story here, but take it from one who knows: everything about this has disaster written all over it.

For fucks sake girl, and I say girl very pointedly, do NOT subject a child to this. This isn’t an unplanned pregnancy to make the best of- this is a deliberate decision that will fuck all of your life plans.

Having a child already settled at school will limit where you can look for jobs, have you thought about that ? Do you own a car ? Your teaching practice placements could be all over the place. What happens if your child is ill (which they will be) ? You still have to go to work or your placement. You still have to set work if absent, books and tests still need marking.

So you are planing on taking money from people who did the right thing and waited until they were financially secure to have children...charming. I had children young but I will be the first to say that you should be intentionally conceiving if you cannot support a child.

OP.
I was engaged while at Uni , a looong time ago. We split up just before I graduated. . He wanted to TTC during my final year but I was not keen. Looking back it was a good thing, but at the time I was devastated, however I did an awful lot of things I would not have been able to do with a DC.
I don't know anything about teaching but the hardest time in any profession is the earliest years , so my advice is do your PGCE , and NQS and get some teaching behind you. When you are older ( 24, 25) have your kids when you have some experience of teaching and more financial stability. You might be able to afford food rent etc but things like soft play, swimming lessons cost....