Over 40 ttc - winter baby dust for me!

Welcome @Whatcanihave I'm so sorry you have been through... although it's horrible you might have to push for another scan to make sure... because you don't want to have anything retained.. that could cause a problem later.. how callous of the hospital... especially as you were 12 weeks.. rest up and sending lots of love..
@Russkispy go little bean !!! Keep dividing xx
@Rose68 atta girl.... 😘
@littlemimosa day 3 of af here also... sending big hugs it's pants...
Sending lots of big hugs to you all 💕💕💕💕

WhatcanIhave- I'm sorry! That sounds just horrid from start to finish. How disappointing. However many of us go through it, the stories still sadden me so much. You're only 41 and I think you still have a good chance to add to your family. Stick with us!

@littlemimosa hugs ❤️ things will look bright again soon xxx

I had the health check thing done too earlier this year....never heard anything back so I'm assuming all is okay...although judging by many experiences, maybe they've forgotten to call me 😋

Mimosa AF is always the most depressing time. Hopefully you'll perk up once its done. Always harder after baby bombs too!
40+ health check always a good idea, you never know what they may find - although usually nothing, but it's peace of mind.

Russ - great news:) all the luck in the world to you.

Whatcanihave - welcome. so sorry to learn about your loss and your awful treatment. i do wonder how it would be if men had babies..

Af in full flow here and feeling quite down, mainly due to the amount of (baby number 3) baby bumps i'm surrounded by. Finding it all tough going at the moment. Am sure i'll pick up once ovulation time rolls around again (says hopefully). Acupuncture booked for Tuesday so i know that'll make me feel better. oh and i've booked my 'over 40 healthcheck' based on your experience Whyhaveidonethis. I've been putting it off but you've given me the impetus to go.

Have a good day lovely ladies x

@Russkispy hurrah! It's a strong one 😃❤️

Fingers crossed for you russkispy!

WhatcanIhave - welcome, and sorry to hear you have been through an ordeal, sounds like they dealt with you terribly. Are you sure you definitely miscarried? It seems odd they would tell you this without scan confirmation.

@Russkispy that’s great news! Still keeping my fingers crossed for you xxx

@WhatcanIhave I am so sorry for what you have been through. It’s terrible they wouldn’t scan you, surely they should confirm the miscarriage was complete? Unless you are already sure it was complete? I’m not sure I would expect a pregnancy test to be positive at 10 weeks or so as the placenta will start to take over. Your situation is similar to mine, except my 2 boys are a bit younger than yours (9 and 6) and I’m a bit older than you at 43. It took me 1.5 years to talk DH into trying, totally wasted time that we didn’t have. I have also just had a mc and currently waiting for my cycle to return.

On that note I’m pretty sure I have just ovulated and despite DH being drunk and ill and me knowing it’s not a great idea this month, I still went for it last night when he got home. Naughty me.

@Russ absolutely brilliant news!!! So happy for you. Hoping it all works out for you....xx

My little trooper keeps growing/dividing, was told this morning. all set for tomorrow's transfer

@Whatcanihave welcome and biggest hugs I'm so sorry for your loss and the horrid way in which you were treated 😔 it really seems to be hit and miss...I've had some very gentle medics but then I recall the surgery nurse who didn't think it was worth 'the bother' (her words) of booking me into the system with my third pregnancy (ironically the one that was successful) in case it ended in miscarriage like the first two 🙄

It may not be as easy but it is possible - keep the hope close to your heart and read some of the wonderful stories on this thread (gives me great optimism!). I've also found this forum to be so supportive on my journey and I'm sure it will be with yours too ❤️

@KahFen thank you for your earlier post and taking the time to write such lovely words..I enjoyed reading them. I love your philosophy on feeling life! ✨😊

Symptom-watch continues here...boobs are definitely bigger today but not sore. Curiouser and curiouser 🤔

Hi, I’m new to this. Perhaps I should start by introducing myself. I’m 41 and have two boys aged 16 and 14. Always would have liked a bigger family (and maybe even a girl?) and have recently managed to convince dh that it’s a good idea. Lmp was sept and, until Monday, I thought I was well on the way through the first trimester. Two weeks ago I had some light spotting which became similar to a light period. Went to EPAU and scan revealed a foetus with a heartbeat measuring about right for my dates. Went home for bleeding to get much heavier with contraction-like cramping. Sat in a &e for 4 hours to get an appt at EPAU next day. They wouldn’t do another scan because “they didn’t think it would tell them anything different” and instead did an internal examination which was quite traumatic as my cervix was very posterior apparently. They didn’t think my cervix was open so sent me home to rest and await my dating scan at approximately 12 weeks. Fast forward to last weekend when I decided to take a pregnancy test for peace of mind only to get a very faint result followed by two negatives. Called hospital who matter of factly told me I’d had a complete miscarriage being as i’ stopped bleeding and feel well. Pretty numb for a day or two followed by sadness as reality dawns. So here I am, back to square one with a biological clock ticking in my mind and the realisation that this might not be as easy as it was before. Hope to be able to give and receive some support by joining this site

Russkispy- so excited for you! Really hoping.

Sorry for everyone whose quest feels like it is currently going nowhere. We will get more BFPs!

Have many more people to write to ... but also need sleep. Sleep tends to win out these days ... rock and roll!! I will be back. Happy Friday to all.

quickly though @littlemimosa and all who advised on vits and sperm speed (great combination of questions lol!) ... thank you so much. I have ordered my latest ubiquinol from ebay and have saved £20! This is great as have been going slowly bankrupt with the vit costs. It is really good to know that I may have an outside chance this month as sperm can live longer than I thought ... if the conditions are right ... and I am pretending they are for now. On that pleasant note I shall bid you all good night :) Much love and good sleep to anyone who needs it xxxxxx

Damn. I did not realise if you look back at old page of thread you lose your message. Doh. Will have to do smaller ones so that doesn't happen often :)

@Rose68 - glad your heating and hot water are sorted and that you have some good Ovulation signs. That is encouraging :) Xmas piss up and ill doesn't sound promising ... but maybe you are right to wait a bit ... just listen to yourself and go with whatever you feel you need. Thanks for your kind words. Much love xxxx

@whydidIdothis - crikey! You must have been fuming and confused and relieved in equal measure. Just as well you went. I am glad they are now trying to make amends and send you for some decent tests. I hope they help. More knowledge is a good thing. Hope the b12 helps you start to feel better. Good on you for going and beating the 'waste of time' feeling. I know that feeling well.

I have only been once to GP last year and it went very badly. She was super nasty and made me cry a lot. It was truly horrible. I haven't been back since. Being told I am waste of NHS resources at my age trying to get pregnant doesn't really help. Ha! I was 43 when I went to see her and I am nearly 45 now. Don't really fancy my chances at not being laughed at ... but reading the good doctor stories on here is helping me feel a bit more positive ... thanks for those. Maybe I will go back and get a Greek God. Doctor Adonis for me!!!

Well that was not such a restful day off as I had hoped ... but I did the finances and (gulp!) Christmas budget ... I really needed to do that before I spend too much. At least now when I spend too much I will know exactly what the too much is! :) Aside from Christmas budget and work am just waiting for AF. Due Wednesday, roughly.

@Cleozeta - you are so right. I read somewhere something that helped. It was that trying not to feel things. although we do it to try to prevent too much hope or disappointment or pain, just stops us from feeling - and feeling, grieving, heartbreaking ... that is being alive. We are trying to create life and hang on to life so perhaps trying to stop ourselves from feeling it is not all that helpful. I liked it when I read this. I had just spent a month trying not to feel anything and just feel numb so I would be less upset with the AF but that was the worst month I have had yet. I think we have to feel things ... even if it is pain we are feeling. Just try to let it pass through and pass through until it lessens and we can go on.

@Wishingonastar77 - such a huge hug to you. Haven't worked out how to send flowers on here yet but I would send them, and a bear to cuddle. I am hoping things move on in some way for you so you can rest and grieve properly. It must be really difficult when you are waiting for any one of a number of really tough outcomes. Much love.

@Russkispy - lovely news. Keeping all fingers crossed for more division. More and more and more!! :) Not of the maths lesson kind either ... I hated that kind. Hang on to the hope. Hope is good.

Going to post this, then do more as I have a habit of losing long messages :)

I don't do roughing it, well not for more than a couple of days.. well yes in my 20's... need my creature comforts

@Realitysucks thank you for explaining, that makes much more sense now. I’m guessing the nhs would treat you the same as everyone else, unless there was a reason not to.

@Chatbash72 thank you for thinking of my lack of heating and hot water! Yes it was fixed yesterday, so normal order has been restored.

@Cleozeta sorry about the due date, a fb friend had a little one on what would have been a due date, so get constant reminders as hers reaches milestones.. enjoy that wine.
@Rose68 do you have heating and hot water yet?
@minime2017 🤞 for a bfp
@WishingonaStar77 I'm so sorry for your news... sending big hugs and hopefully it's not an EP... and nature steps in 5 is quite a lot though can your gp investigate ?
@CookieWaffle yes that menopause comment deserves a slap... how rude!!

My gp has a similar relaxed attitude as yours @whyhaveidonethis.. tells me to relax, but can't help thinking she has a point. And 50!! Fab

@mahotsukai and @KahFen these are an amazing "Mumsnet family" of ladies... I'm not sure I would be feeling quite so positive and supported over this last 11 months without them.. 💕
Hope I haven't missed anyone out.. buckets of baby dust to all... day 2 of af and bluhhhhhhhhh

@rose68 no nhs for me. We went private straight away and no point in even trying on nhs. What I’m considering is paying privately for obstetrician and through pregnancy for midwife, if I am lucky enough for it to work. Everyone I’ve spoken to after ivf say that nhs just treat you as non priority and you have to jump up and down explaining its an ivf baby 👶

Oh dear, I just typed out a really long message and then my iPad ran out of power and I lost it all 😭 will try again....

I think I have got a little behind in the last day or so!

@Wishingonastar I’m so so sorry, having just been through it myself I know how much it hurts. I suspect the weak urine was responsible for the 2-3 weeks, I did something similar, but then I mc’d too, so who knows. I don’t understand why they can’t rule out ectopic if they have seen where the sac is? I really hope you get some answers this time.

@KahFen What a lovely message! I also had tears in my eyes reading it. I would love to be pregnant for Christmas, but I know it’s very unlikely and probably not sensible either. That’s doesn’t seem to be stopping me from trying though.

@Realitysucks will you qualify for fertility treatment on the nhs if you already have a son? Trouble is nhs can take ages I think, time we don’t have.

@Littlemimosa sorry about AF, it sucks doesn’t it.

@Cleozeta I suspect your middle test wasn’t so accurate as the other 2 are very similar. I think I remember you saying it was done on a slightly later day? Maybe that affected the results?

@Cookiewaffle I would have given that guy a slap even if he was my manager! How rude!

@Russkispy that’s fab news! Keeping everything crossed for you and your little embie!

@Karryk it’s definitely worth trying to get an early scan if you can, how many weeks are you? If you can’t get one on the nhs you can always pay for a private one.

@Littlemimosa I have been having acupuncture weekly, but at £45 a session it’s not cheap. I have considered fortnightly, but I did conceive on only my second month of acupuncture and the first month I had only had one session before ovulation. So maybe it is worth it.

@WhyhaveIdonethis That is terrible about the vitamin B12, from the positive side at least it might help sort things out for you a bit. On the nnegative, wow what a wasted few months! I think I would be seriously pissed off.

As for me... I have had EWCM since Sunday, no real ovulation pains yet but my tummy is sore and bloated. DH is out tonight on a big Xmas piss up, and he is ill, so not sure he really wants me jumping on him when he gets home! I am thinking now is the right time but I’m guessing it’s not a great idea to try this month anyway... at least it looks like my cycle is coming back quickly I guess.

Right.... now to post before I lose it all again.....

@KahFen.. thank you for that encouraging Xmas msg

Cleo..I did wonder at the time about how much the gp actually knew. He was quite young and maybe just wanted to be nice!

You wrote..
"I've learnt that by not connecting to the pregnancy until a certain stage to protect yourself for emotional trauma if it fails, makes no difference at all"
That's a very good point and it worked for me purely by accident as I didn't even know I was preg until 12 weeks were up!! I had light bleeds which were late every time and put it down to changing hormones with age. All along it was DS! So when we found out for sure we had to look back over the 3 months we'd missed to see what had happened with the bean to that point and not knowing took away all the worry! I never tested from the start..although I have used them for ttc no.2

@cookiewaffle thank you.. I paid privately for a scan because of my previous MC. Last 2 pregnancies that went to 10 weeks we could see a HB at 6 weeks.

I've not even been called back by the RMC today when I mentioned a possible eptopic. They can't be that bothered and guessing I'll have to wait out until they scan me next week.. hoping I naturally MC before then tho..

@cleozeta thank you, I had been told now I'm at no.5 I can have karyotyping tests. We are also considering paying privately for the NK cells test but it's rare and controversial.

Everyone else thanks for your kind words too.. hoping this gets sorted and cleared before Xmas at least I can relax a little xx

@whyhaveidonethis Goodness...that's just maddening!! Fingers crossed that you're on your way to full health now - scary how things just fall through the net...what if you hadn't gone?! 🤦🏻‍♀️ he sounds wildly out of touch - from around 37 I was told by various doctors at various appointments to seek further advice if I didn't conceive within 6 months of trying.

Glad you did go though lots of luck and baby dust ✨