TTC FIRST BABY - THREAD NO.8

@Hadaley oh I've just seen this, I'm so so sorry. That's awful news. I hope you can take the weekend to look after yourself and process this. I know we're just strangers on the internet, but I really am thinking of you

@hadaley I'm so sorry, that must be so difficult. I will definitely take on board your warning about testing early. Sending you hugs and lots of luck for next month x

@EltzBee don't apologise - you're quite right to be irked in my opinion!
Even when both partners want to have children, somehow it's still usually the women's burden to make it happen.

My DH is a wonderful man and well versed on the issue of emotional labour. Yet still I find myself being the one to read the books, decide on a method of tracking, order the OPKs and tell him to get vitamins / cut back on coffee. If he then made me work to get him to DTD on the right day...well. I would be enraged.

The whole point of marriage (imo) is that it is a partnership and you work together, it's not supposed to mean that a man gets to shift all of life's responsibilities on to his wife. In light of that, the mumsnet 'Facilitated men' is quite an eye-opener as to what happens down the line if the martial support is one sided: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3082251-Men-whose-lives-are-facilitated-by-women-how-did-this-happen

@KatBeCool docs given me the all clear so taken the afternoon off to rest x

Thanks @DayDreamer1707 after 8 months TTC we finally fell pregnant but lost it, but fell pregnant again before I even had a period, will keep my fingers crossed for you, 🤞

Hi @Bettythecat I'd personally say don't be too hard on him, guys have no clue on sensitivity at all when it comes to our feelings.
As for the smileys I'm not the right person to answer this as I don't use them, I temp chart instead which is so much better for me and my home/work balance. However I would say that yes maybe your app is wrong... what CD are you?

Hi everyone this is my first post on Mumsnet but I just need to talk to someone. We are TTC right now and supposedly during my fertile window according to Natural Cycles but haven’t had a smiley face at all so far (supposed to ovulate tomorrow) even though I’ve had smiley faces the last two cycles. We have been having sex every night and I just feel so despondent and down- I really want it to happen but somehow I’ve convinced myself that if it doesn’t happen first time it won’t happen for ages!! Also after me constantly telling him how worried and down I feel about all this and how much I’m dreading the The two week wait he texts me this morning to very bluntly tell me a friends wife is “preggers”. When I point out how insentiive this is he says “oh sorry I thought you were feeling better about it as you said you thought the app might be wrong”. Gah! He just thought somehow I’ve compeltely got over the worry due to that one comment which was really more about making myself feel more positive about no smiley and all this “wasted” sex we’ve been having! Help please it’s so lonely and I feel like I’m going mad

@MrsC87 fingers crossed it's not ectopic.

@DayDreamer1707 the first testing day depends when you normally ovulate. Generally, no more than a week prior at the earliest. If you ovulate on the same CD every time, then starting 3-4 days prior is enough. If not, you start a few days prior to the CD of your earliest record ovulation.

@Crossfitgirl happy moving time! Hope it all goes well. Make sure to DTD right away to establish dominance in the house!

@EltzBee at least he takes the vitamins. I know my hubby complies with the dtd schedule, but so many men just don't get it. Getting your men to have sex should've been the easiest part.

@FlapJackered it basically extended, or rather fixed, my luteal phase. It's no longer 10 days like it used to be but a nice 14. Makes me wonder how many other women might be affected by hypo thyroids and not even know it as, like me, there were no symptoms or they ignore the symptoms.

Back to the drawing board. I tested negative today, and feel AF arriving.

I called my GP, and she said that up to 50% of pregnancies fail before your menstrual period arrives, and that these early sensitive tests are causing a lot of unnecessary heartbreak. I am certainly heartbroken. Urging you all not to test early: the risk of disappointment is just really high.

@purplefig starting to abit but still abit nervewracking xx

@purplefig I had cramps early in my cycle too.

Totally agree it does feel like the heavy lifting is our side. Emotional labour!
I was thinking all the things I do:
-work out cycles
-track temp every morning
-OPKs when I'm due fertile til OVd
-instigating when we DTD!
-dealing with the hormonal fluctuations
-having my skin painful and so so so spotty since coming off pill
-PERIODS!
-making sure we get our vitamins to improve both our fertility!
-worrying, researching, thinking about it all the time!

What DH does:
-takes the vitamins I sort out
-DTD when I instigate it if he's not too tired...

Sorry to rant

@Delilah7 that's great news! I hope you can relax a bit now.

@DayDreamer1707 welcome! Sorry to hear about your MMC, that must have been awful.

@FivexFive I'd test when I got back I think. You have to do what feels right for you.

@SullyWifey Glad you managed to DTD. But that is really crappy behaviour on his part - if you both want to have kids, why is it all on you to 'arrange' it? I totally get that men have to get off and there is a certain pressure around that, but women have to put up with the pain of monthly periods and then, when pregnant, literally create a new life and grow it inside of them for 9 months! And then PUSH IT OUT OF THEM! So I think it's fair to say we do the heavy lifting here

I'm on CD8 and am getting a weird twinge in my lower left abdomen. I'm sure it can't be ovulation pains as my last cycles have been 34 and 36 day cycles. Haven't started using OPKs yet as thought it was way too earlier, so guess there is no way of knowing.

Woo new thread again!

@crossfitgirl good luck with the move! We did the same when we moved, bought a big family house in anticipation of making mini humans fingers crossed.

@sulleywifey well done! Glad you managed to get him to play wirh you instead, it shouldn't be so hard should it!

DTD last night, also noticed a couple times lately that not much fluid after. I'd like to think DH hasn't been faking it, I know I have stretched the truth with my level to get him to do it though lol!

OPKs yday definite negative, but no temperature shift since I had the positive one. Been comparing this month and lasts chart and my temp doesn't show the rise I had last time. Wondering if O isn't happening this time...grr!

Good morning Ladies,

Well what can I say...@cupcakesandglitter and@FlapJackered you were my wing-men last night. WE HAD SEX!

After reading your messages, you made me think, yes what do I have to loose?!! So I took my sulky face off, put my slinky dressing gown on and went downstairs and basically just spent half an hour trying to distract him by cuddles, strokes and pretending I was interested in his game (@DayDreamer1707 think your on to something there hun) eventually I got my boobies out and sat in front of him and he said, oh go on then lets have a shower. Bobs your uncle.

So if i get pregnant this month, its down to you girls and will you be honorary Aunties! Thanks so much for getting me out my sulk and giving me the confidence! xxx

Ps: he said that he 'finished' but when I got up to go to the loo during the night, nothing really came out like it usually does...hmm..here's hoping he did anyways!

@Crossfitgirl I LOVED reading your message this morning and I think I am going to store that trick for next month!! Might use it word for word haha. Also HAPPY MOVING DAY. Exciting!

@MrsR16 babes, what is wrong with them?! I am so sorry, I was so upset last night too so I know how you feel. Any chance you try again today as there's still time to catch it.

@DayDreamer1707 yes they are the ones I use and always give me a good idea whats going on and matches up with y charts etc. But i'm month 11 on TTC so dont take any of my advice on board because I could be going horribly wrong somewhere haha.

Happy FriYay girls x x x x

@Crossfitgirl Happy moving day girl! exciting times ahead. We are moving next month too, both stressful and exciting! Hope everything goes smoothly for you😊

Morning all, checking in!

@Crossfitgirl hope the move goes well!

@KatBeCool that is great the thyroid meds have helped! Not long to wait now. Will keep everything crossed for you 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Wahhh! Moving day! Congrats @Crossfitgirl hope it all goes smoothly!

@DayDreamer1707
The IC opks are great but are better if you can do them 2 or 3 times a day. I do them three times a day and only ever get 1 positive so I know if I did them less I might have missed the surge.

I have tried to join DH on the Xbox but firstly I am terrible at it and secondly it just feels like such a monumental waste of time. I can't understand how he can justify spending so much time playing games.

Morning ladies!! Thanks for the tag @cupcakesandglitter :-)

Well, today is MOVING DAY!!!
TTC will become even more real now we'll be rattling round in a bigger house!!
Better be able to fill all the bedroom with little people soon...

Xxx

@RanchoRelaxo love to hear that you are pregnant after your MC, you have given me massive hope for myself and my OH xx

Have any of you ever joined in with the game playing with your OHs. Might seem silly to us but you never know, guys get turned on by some of the oddest things 😉. Is it C10 or C11 you normally test your ovulation on or should I try a little earlier?

So AF is due today. No sign of it though. But also 99.9% sure I'm not pregnant. I hate having irregular cycles. It makes this so much harder. Who knows when AF will make an appearance. 😩😢

@DayDreamer1707 Yes, were pretty accurate for me when it came to pinning down ovulation