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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

It’s killing me, I’m broken

34 replies

Cookienut · 12/11/2018 20:39

I have been trying for a baby for 10 months, during this time I’ve been diagnosed with PCOS and recently I was placed on Metformin. The last couple of days I’ve been convinced that I was pregnant. I took a test and it was negative. I know it sounds ridiculous but I can’t stop crying. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. I’m so desperate for a baby now that every time I see one I get a lump in my throat. My doctor doesn’t seem to be listening to me when I tell him how depressed and stressed this is making me. I’m at a loss of what to do. I’m on edge. Please help

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Original poster
Cookienut · 13/11/2018 22:46

@physicskate apologies about the errors. I forgot to preview before posting Blush

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Original poster
Cookienut · 13/11/2018 22:44

@physicskate once this academic year is done my hours will be reduce. I’m an lsp who wanted to go on to become an English teacher at one point I was teaching 12 hours on a lsp wage as I was completing my det. I completed this but decided not to go on and complete my qtls for a number of reasons, I asked to be paid equally as some other members of staff who did the same qualification as me and were paid as an unqualified teacher and they told me 2 days before the end of term I would be loosing all my hours. They then realised that they needed me to do the hours and offered theme back I took them mainly because I wanted to see my life skills classes through to the end of year 11, once my year 10s leave I won’t be teaching at all and will be back full time as an lsp. I’m quite happy about this no data, parents evening etc but I’ll still be making a difference in other ways. I think however if it wasn’t for the lovely kids and colleagues I would have gone at summer after that. I also think come 5 years time there will not be many lsps/support staff in school due to the cuts, the sen kids we work with bring in some money through ehcps but not enough to cover the full amount of staff and as many teachers don’t use us effectively eg no planning, no backing and sometimes completely ignoring us as they don’t want us in their lesson, I can’t seem them paying out for us much longer. This would be an awful shame as it’s only the kids who will suffer from this. Our education system is broken and will take a long time to fix unfortunately.

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physicskate · 13/11/2018 22:29

@cookienut my shit time ttc was my final straw to quit teaching! Took two and a half years to (very very luckily) get pregnant through ivf. Quit at Easter. Ivf in June this year.

Original poster
Cookienut · 13/11/2018 22:03

Lorddenning1 the impression I’ve got along my journey is my doctor doesn’t want to refer me anywhere. I’m hoping that when he said come back in a month and he will look at a medication alternative the next step after that is a referral. I’m
Going to wait out the new year and if no period I’m going to demand a referral as we will then have been a year. It’s definitely the most stressful period of your life and until people have been through it they don’t understand, it’s ncie to hear positives from people who have been through similar so that you have some hope.

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YouBoggleMyMind · 13/11/2018 21:59

Metformin takes awhile to build up and work to its full potential. You need provera to get a period started and prolly some clomid alongside metformin to get you ovulating. A lot of guidelines say that you've got to have been trying for 12m before getting a referral to a fertility clinic where you'd get the clomid. Are you a healthy BMI? That with metformin together can make a huge difference but sometimes you just need things working together. Have had all of the above so feel free to ask any questions. My DS is a metformin and clomid baby and is 11m today. Good luck!

Original poster
Cookienut · 13/11/2018 21:58

Anotherneter it’s so difficult isn’t it ? Especially with doctors who don’t fully understand, it’s alright them telling us it will happen in time and them fobbing is off but we are living this on a daily basis our lives are consumed by us wanting a child. It’s such a shame about how chronically underfunded the fertility services are when it’s such a common issue and yet our doctors don’t fully understand our issues. I’m hoping one day my time will come and it will be even sweeter when it comes.

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Original poster
Cookienut · 13/11/2018 21:50

Physicskate yes I was definitely desperate and dramatic, once I started talking I couldn’t stop. It’s been my 1563782 breakdown of the day, I work in a school and just sat in the car staring at at the building this morning a colleague of mine knocked on the car window and coaxed me in to work. I got in to work saw 2 of my best work friends and there it was the lump in my throat, couldn’t speak and then began crying infront if a canteen full of teenagers. One of my other best work friends was told about it by some of their form so cue them finding me out and seeing it was okay and again I began hysterically crying. What I think has helped is having people to talk to. My mom has a enough going on at the moment so I can’t talk to her, my sister is too young to understand. My friend are currently backpacking around the world so not something you can discuss with them. Now I have people I can talk to I feel a weight has been lifted.

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Lorddenning1 · 13/11/2018 21:29

You need to be referred to a fertility clinic, your doctor won't be able to help you like they can.
Sounds like your not ovulating, in that case you need to be on Clomid, they will start u off on 50mg, but it took the full 150mg to get me to ovulate, I was also on metformin.
They will do scans and blood test and it's all monitored and it will help you. We had been trying for 2 years for our second and it took 5 months of fertility treatment before we got him :)
The fertility clinic can also offer councilling to help you as it's the most stressful situation you go through in life :(
My little one is nearly 2 now :)

anotherneter · 13/11/2018 21:11

Sorry you are going through this. I’ve been there too and it was heartbreaking. The only thing that would make the pain go away was a baby. You have to keep going. Don’t give up! In all likelihood you will have your baby and when you do it will be all the more magical. It took me nearly four years and IVF before I had my first. I had very odd cycles with lots of spotting. I went to the GP at the very beggining because of the bleeding and got fobbed off time and time and time again. After waiting a couple of years we had our application for funding declined because I got pregnant for all of five minutes so had to go private because (they reset the ‘clock’ from the date of the pregnancy - even though I miscarried at five weeks Hmm) and mentally I wasn’t able to cope with it anymore. Just don’t give up OP you will get there. I have quite a few friends who have had problems conceiving and all of them apart from one person ended up having a baby.

physicskate · 13/11/2018 21:06

I'm really glad you felt listened to!! Sometimes things have to get a bit dramatic and desperate before they start to improve...

BeautifulBlue · 13/11/2018 20:29

Really pleased to read your update @Cookienut well done you for being so pro active! You have made some really positive steps best of luck to you!

Original poster
Cookienut · 13/11/2018 19:52

I really wanted to take to time to thank everyone who has given me any advice. They are all suggestions that I am going to try. I went back to the doctor this evening where I’ve been given some anti depressants. I also think finally my doctor is taking me a bit more seriously. I explained to him how worried and down I am getting due to this and he has asked me to return in a months time if I still haven’t had a period and he will then try an alternative form of medication. He thinks that the Metformin still needs time to work my system but In the meantime wants to elevate my stresses and give me the best chance of conceiving. This last negative really knocked me I was convinced I was pregnant and I let my mind get carried away. Thank you all so much xx

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charlyn · 13/11/2018 17:29

Sorry to hear your struggling cookienut. I have long irregular cycles (I suspect I have PCOS but not been formally diagnosed) and managed to conceive using Agnus Castus. It might be worth looking into Agnus Castus as it is known to regulate cycles and help you ovulate. I’ve also read Inositol is supposed to be good for PCOS sufferers too.

stellarfox · 13/11/2018 16:50

Just remember you are not alone! A lot of women struggle ttc and never talk about it...whereas we only hear the success stories of people conceiving straight off the pill. Good luck, it can be a long road but there is so much you can learn about PCOS and so many lifestyle changes you can make yourself to get your body back in the swing of things.

Do you know they think PCOS survives as a gene/condition because the women with PCOS were the ones that could still have babies when we were in really tough conditions e.g. famine etc whereas women without the gene couldn’t. So whilst PCOS is a right pain in today’s society with our diets of highly processed foods and carbs which we didn’t have in caveman days, it’s actually a survival gene! I found that very interesting!

triwarrior · 13/11/2018 16:37

I went to a Chinese herbalist and had regular acupuncture. I have PCOS too and wasn't ovulating for a while. I now have three children (one of whom was an IVF conception.) I'm convinced that this was trick - so much about fertility isn't understood. Read "The Infertility Cure" by Randine Lewis, too, if you haven't already. I have such compassion for you; I've been where you are and it's miserable. I hope you have a breakthrough soon.

Original poster
Cookienut · 13/11/2018 16:27

Hi all I just wanted to say a huge thanks for all your advice and suggestions. I’ve been food shopping and from tomorrow morning I will be following a low carb diet along with digging out my kit. I’ve been really stuggling lately and with some of my friends who speak and say you’ll be the next to have a child or saying about how lucky I am to not have any children. My sister in law had a baby last year and is talking about having another. It’s so hard because I want to scream and shout about how it’s not fair bit can’t. I feel much better today, here’s hoping I will soon get my bfp xx

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MagicalCreatures · 13/11/2018 12:26

I just wanted to give you a positive story so you can see there is still hope. Done give up just yet.
My sister was trying for 18 months and was just like you, diagnosed with PCOS. Periods were all over the place.
She was put on metformin and though it wasn’t weeks, she did fall within a few months and now has a gorgeous 7 year old little girl.
Hold on a little longer.
Have you tried temping. Where you record your basal body temp in the mornings. That’s the only (do it yourself) way to see if you are actually ovulating.
Hang In there. TTC is a horrible long journey for some. X

BeautifulBlue · 13/11/2018 12:03

Ahh I’m really sorry OP. This probably isn’t what you want to hear (because it certainly isn’t the easiest or quickest solution) BUT weight has such a massive impact on PCOS symptoms. I have PCOS & tried for a baby for 3 years nothing... random, long cycles. Then I bit the bullet & lost 2 stone. I got pregnant within a month of being at this weight. I’m now pregnant with #2 after just a few months trying at a healthy (ish) I’m still a bit over weight... weight. It isn’t easy but I honestly don’t think I’d have my babies if I hadn’t done it so it’s worth it & a fantastic inscentive to stick with it! Even just losing 5% of your body weight can have a huge impact. Weight loss along with metformin... I would be really confident about you becoming pregnant. In the mean time be kind to yourself, I know it’s tough Flowers

stellarfox · 13/11/2018 06:36

I didn’t try acupuncture but I heard it can work so why not give it a go!

stellarfox · 13/11/2018 06:35

P.s. your mental health is really important so definitely a good idea to book in with the doctors to get some antidepressants! I honestly think the podcast I recommended will give you new hope too though and help your thoughts on how to manage PCOS.

I can recommend you some of the food I would eat also.

stellarfox · 13/11/2018 06:31

When you have PCOS a lot of doctors do not know a lot about it so you need to go armed with knowledge and know exactly what you want to ask. (Please please try the podcast I recommended as it’s really empowering!!)

Do you have cysts on your ovaries and have they tested your androgen levels? Do you know if you are insulin resistant? These are tests your doctor can do. They can also check if you have any food intolerances.

How long did you manage the low carb for because I really think it takes some time before it has an effect. Try to research keto treats because you can still let yourself have some treats on a low carb/keto diet, you just have to plan your meals ahead. I think you need to try this without the binge eating. I made these desserts called fat balls which were nice and there are tons of recipes on reddit /keto recipes. If you are insulin resistant your body is so preoccupied with fighting your insulin levels that it is not ovulating as it is prioritising dealing with the food you are eating... so binging etc could be stopping you ovulating all together. I’d really try hard to work on your diet and you might start ovulating. It sounds to me like you aren’t ovulating at the moment. I’m sure you can though if you commit to changes!

fuzzywuzzy · 12/11/2018 22:25

Definitely go back to gp state you’ve not had a period in ten months and ask for tests to see if you are ovulating.

The current medication is clearly not working.

Original poster
Cookienut · 12/11/2018 21:43

I think I’m going to book in with another doctor. All he keeps saying though is that I haven’t been off the pill long enough. NHS Guidelines say that if you period haven’t returned to normal after 6 months then see your gp.

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Original poster
Cookienut · 12/11/2018 21:40

No I’ve not had a period in the whole time I’ve been trying, we have been actively trying for 10 months and I came of the pill a year ago. I went to the doctors after 6 months of no periods, I had blood tests and a internal scan after this I was diagnosed with PCOS. I was prescribed Metformin and my doctor told me everyone he prescribed it to had been pregnant in a few weeks. Listening to this my hope was renewed and I have religiously taken it. I took a step back from ovulation tests and pregnancy tests as I was hopefully. I honestly have felt so different the last week that I decided to take a pregnancy test when my partner was as work as I wanted it to be a surprise for him in the morning when he got home. I’ve tried lowering my diet (sugar and carbs) and following a gym workout, but every knock back I get (negative opk and pregnancy test) makes me binge eat/ loose motivation.ive never had a positive opk in all the months I’ve been trying so I’m sure I have not ovulated in all the time trying but according to my doctor the opks are invalid and don’t mean anything. I try my hardest but my feelings are linked to food and always have been. Did anyone try acupuncture? Thank you all so much for the advice, I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this in real life I’m constantly teetering between hysterical crying and a nervous breakdown. I don’t know what to do.

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physicskate · 12/11/2018 21:39

Please don't take offence at this - when ttc was killing me I was nearly suicidal. I found a low dose of antidepressants and some counselling sessions made me survive it. Speak to your gp about depression and see what they suggest...

That was the only thing my gp did for the two and a half years we were ttc!! But it did help me. Probably the only reason I'm still here...