Fresh cycle, fresh start, clearer mind and a more positive attitude.
I have spent 15 long months peeing on sticks, taking my temperature, checking ewcm. And every other possible thing I could chart.
I've been to a private fertility clinic, to which I now wish I hadn't bothered... but it's ok as I've had loads of test to which 2 are the low end of normal, and everything else is fine.
I've had numerous chemical pregnancies, and actually argued with my fertility dr as evidently I can conceive, it's the boy after that's going wrong... putting a pin in that one for now, and am awaiting a copy of all my results in the hope to see someone else for a second opinion.
I've beaten myself up month after month. Realised how much of a grouch I've become and how I've been totally consumed by this whole process, to a point that my amazing husband and I only ddt twice in a whole month when I was ovulation.
I realised I had gone off sex altogether and it had become a chore.
2 months ago I stopped charting and only poas for ovulation as the clinic required it.
Last month I did absolutely nothing.
With the help of my DH who has helped me Chanel my thoughts and energy towards more productive things, like actually setting up my self employment, and buying me tonnes of crafty things for us to do a Christmas stall together.
Lastly I've seen an acupuncturist who has really made me think, and realise that there are other ways of naturally supporting your body and hormones.
Stress is a huge and key part in this process for all of us. I think from time to time we all need to just stop.
Stop beating yourself up about that negative test.
Stop blaming yourself.
Stop fretting in the 2ww. Every pregnancy symptom is also an af symptom.
Stop taking every test and charting every bit of bodily function, it will consume you!
It's so much easier said than done, I know, but take time out to be you. Push aside trying to get pregnant just for one month. Give yourself a break, you sure need it!
Sending hugs and baby dust to each one of you. Xxx