TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

@KnitKitty thank you :) I think that's the way forward for me too, just plough on and focus on the end goal, being 36 I hoped I'd have enough time to perhaps have more than one child but this mc happening has made me realise I'd be happy with one!
I hope your journey is going ok..? X

Thanks for the replies @KnitKitty @Clumsykitten. AF arrived in fullness this morning. I'm very heavy for me, but no serious pain. Feel fairly washed out this eve.
I'm glad she has arrived as it means I am only 1 month away from getting bloods for investigations done, find it easier to look forward with little milestones. Not TTC at the moment, as hosp have been clear they won't investigate me if I do.

Congrats @Yukka looks like a great line. Fingers crossed for a healthy and happy pregnancy

@Rachyxxx Glad to see you're feeling more positive today. I often refer to the ups and downs as riding the waves of emotion. Enjoy the good days, just keep paddling through the bad ones. Your words to others on here are inspirational and helping others through their hard times can really help with dealing with your own difficulties too. I'm also very much of a mindset that I'm not going to let this journey to parenthood destroy me either. We're all holding each other's hands through this and I think that's amazing. xxx

@fnej01 My periods after MC have sometimes been fine and sometimes more heavy/painful. There seems to be no rhyme or reason. Could the "pre cramps" be pregnancy cramps do you think?

@Lilimum5 This could be a new AF. Either way, your body is obviously getting rid of things that shouldn't be in there. I just hope the bleeding stops soon to give you a break. Make sure you're getting plenty of iron in your diet at the moment.
Seeing pregnant women and baby stuff everywhere is really hard. Be kind to yourself. You just need to let out the emotions sometimes. xxx

@strawberrye I think that looks like a good line on the FRER. As others have said, people's HCG doesn't increase the same way so don't compare your tests to other peoples. I have everything crossed for you xxx

@Tiniestsky For me it was a mix of pure desperation to be pregnant again and time being a healer. I actually found it easier ploughing through it and trying than contemplating not trying. The raw emotions should get duller as time passes. Sometimes a fresh wave of sadness/fear/grief/frustration washes over me, but those waves have got further apart as the months have gone on. You might find talking to someone helps. Have you looked into getting counselling? A lot of the ladies on here have done that. If you're getting nightmares and panic attacks definitely talk to your GP about it. Don't suffer in silence.

@Yukka My goodness!!!! That's the biggest, fattest positive I have seen in a long time! The test line is darker than the control line!!! (Twins?) And after the diagnosis as well, what brilliant timing to get some treatment underway. All my fingers and toes crossed for you.

@Laney79 I have my fingers crossed for you. What makes your fella think you're preggo? I wish mine was a bit more sensitive to my body changes sometimes. I think it's really cute when partners pick up on symptoms.

@hayleyfx did you drop in a urine sample today? (I'm still tutting at the person who requested this from you... what a twerp!)

@DaisyMay25 Hi again. I'm so sorry you've had this bombshell to deal with. You must have a lot going on in your head right now. I think it's really good that you're already taking steps towards IVF though. I will keep my fingers crossed that it's a success and helps you become parents before long. A few of the other ladies on here are going through IVF or starting it soon too. xxx

@Clumsykitten It's so hard hearing other people's pregnancy announcements, isn't it? The mixture of jealousy, guilt about feeling jealous and sadness for yourself and trying so hard to be happy for them... it's just a really difficult situation. Hugs xxx

Hi again @SerenaOverjoyed. It sounds wrong to say that I'm glad to see you back here, because obviously I'd rather you didn't need the support from us, but you have been on my mind on and off for the last few months and it's good to hear from you again! Tentative congratulations! (I say this, because even if it doesn't end up being a sticky one, congratulations for creating a little life are still in order!) I really hope this is a sticky one though. I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you. I've been in a very similar situation to you actually. 4 or 5 losses in 9 months. Since my MMC in March I've had 3 other very early losses (on or under 5 week mark). It's possibly 4 losses, but I never did a pregnancy test with the last one. Like you, getting pregnant doesn't seem to be a problem, it's the staying pregnant. I'm taking a break for a while at the moment and waiting for my RMC appointment to come through.
I think you're right to take the aspirin. If nothing else it feels like you're trying something, and from what I can tell it can't harm anyway.
How did you find taking the break from TTC? I'm finding it restful so far.
What was your first RMC appointment like? Were they reassuring or give you any ideas as to what sort of problems might cause very early losses/CPs? I'm a little worried the doctors are going to be dismissive of my pregnancy losses because they've been so early on. Any advice?
Hugs and sticky baby dust for you xxx

Sending hugs to all who need them this evening. xxx

@Tiniestsky just pm'd you x

Okie dokie, send me a message with your name when you're sorted, we are in one now, if anyone has messenger that wants to join a group with us, you're more than welcome if @Rachyxxx is ok with it x

@Tiniestsky sounds good I shall had to get an account first though.

@Lilimum5 me and @Rachyxxx are gonna try and sort a messenger chat if you're interested?

@Rachyxxx pm'd you my number

@lilimum5 god I know exactly how you feel. Some days it seems like everywhere you look there is a pregnant lady, or a new born in a pushchair.
I look at others and wonder their struggles, but they never seen apparent when they are stood there so beautifully pregnant. Or with their beautiful baby in its pram.
But we don’t know the journeys they’ve gone through I guesss....
some will have been lucky and gotten pregnant within the first few months. But some of those babies may have come from similar struggles to our own.

I guess we will get our little bundles of joy when the time is right in our lives.
Granted when we want it so badly that isn’t always a consolation.
I personally just want to be a mum. I’ve got everything and more to give to my little baby when it arrives... I’m just waiting for him or her to join us lol. ❤️ Keep strong beautiful ❤️

If you ladies fancied a WhatsApp which may be easier to keep track of PM me your numbers and I could create one.

❤️

@Tiniestsky I have send you a PM with my mobile number. I don’t do social media currently as I couldn’t stand the sight of another pregnancy announcement after everything I’ve gone through. So I’ve popped you my mobile number in the pm.

But I would love to chat and offer support, might make us feel a little better we aren’t alone ☺️

That stands for anyone else ... I am happy to send my number for anyone who wants to chat ❤️ Maybe if we even get a few of us we could do a WhatsApp group?

@Clumsykitten I have my good and my down days. But when it’s my best friends baby shower it was one where I just had to put on my best smile and do it for her.
It just caused a ricochet of emotions for me when I got home. And my poor fella got a string of depressive text messages from me whilst I was at work on a night shift ... which is enough to make anyone feel shitty anyway lol.
I hope you are looking after yourself and not being too hard on yourself. You have your own battles my lovely and we can’t always be strong. ❤️

@hayleyfx @yukka @strawberrye I am super happy for all you ladies ☺️ Make sure you get the support you deserve from the NHS and milk the EPAU for as many scans as you can. Sending sticky bean dust ❤️

@SerenaOverjoyed If you have had a miscarriage previously your doctor or midwife should be able to refer you for an early reassurance scan at 7 weeks. You shouldn’t be being told to turn up and wait they should get it booked for you. They should be getting you in to see the midwife sooner so they can keep track of your pregnancy and how it is progressing from an early stage.
I know the second I get pregnant again I am going to be demanding all I can from them.
My midwife didn’t even speak to me again when I had my miscarriage, the last time I saw her was my booking in appt... she obviously noted on my records I’d misacrried and just wiped me off.
So I will be ensuring I don’t have her !!
I was told as soon as I lost my twins and had an MVA I’d always have open access to the GAU for telephone queries, and I’d be under the EPAU straight away to be monitored.
Ring them up hun and don’t take no for an answer, the last thing you want is to be sat waiting when you are potentially already very nervous and worried.

❤️❤️❤️

@serenaoverjoyed congrats. I would deff take 75mg aspirin if you had borderline test. It will only help and they may not do second test whilst pregnant.

@lilimum5 it is so hard, try to not beat yourself up. You’ve been through this enough times. Try and focus on being emotionally well as well as physically. Are you going for counselling? In the last 2 months I started acupuncture and yoga both of which helped me and I believe contributed to today’s bfp xxx

@strawberry are you going to test again? There’s no doubt you are pregnant so stay positive xx

Had my first proper day out of the house to do a bit of Xmas shopping. Big mistake thought I was OK but all I saw the whole hour that I was able to stick it was bumps, babies and prams. I'm trying really hard not to have negative thoughts about it all but I'm so jealous of every pregnant lady I see.
Now I can't stop crying 😢 since we got home. I really need to get a grip I can't keep doing this 😭

@Tiniestsky I'm not in a group on Facebook but I would like to join one if you found one

And @Clumsykitten as hard as it is you really mustn't even ponder about how it might be your fault, if you're not a drinker, don't smoke or take drugs you really are not to blame in the slightest, it's just simple bad luck and I really hope your luck changes x

@Rachyxxx thank you, that really helped, they sound like some wise words!
I've been the same this week, ups n downs, laughter then panic, but I guess it all boils down to one point... regardless of how scared I am, nervous and worried I am, how many panic attacks and sleepless nights I have I'm not going to stop trying so I'll just have to brace myself and get on with it.
I'd love to have a few people to have a chat with now and again, I was going to ask if some of you were in a Facebook group or perhaps get a messenger chat group going...?

Hi all, can I float back in the thread?

I've been big time lurking. I'm so chuffed to see the bfps, especially this recent rush. Absolutely heartbroken for the new losses. X

I took a looong break from June after my 4th mc in 9 months, all arguable CPs before 5wks. I'm now under RMC but in my book in appointment they failed to take 15 blood tests, but did judgily swab me for chlamidiya (negative, take that judgey doc! ). I need the next batch of bloods on cd21. The results I did get came back borderline for 3 markers for APS. I haven't seen the consultant yet as I still need so many tests.

We started 'unofficially' trying in September and I got a bfp 7 days ago, making me vaguely 5wks today (I have hugely variable cycles so it's hard to know).

Gynae have given no advice and directed me to EPU. I've got a call booked into my gp on Wednesday and I'll ask for bloods. I can only get a reassurance scan if I turn up and wait, so I'll do that in 10 days. Rightly or wrongly I've self prescribed 75mg asprin.

I feel a mix of joy and abject terror. A big part of me thinks 'this is it!!', but I'm still so certain I'll lose this pregnancy and it will be a heartbreaking fall.

@Yukka I really hope this is it for us!! 🤞 yeah reckon I’ll be having a scan in 2-3 weeks time (assuming I’m still pregnant then) I’m already scared, feeling very pessimistic but taking it one day at a time. @strawberrye we’re all so close together! Crossing everything for all of our little beans ❤️

@DaisyMay25 it’s been ages!! I’m so sorry to hear your news but the next few months sound like they’ll be productive. Although it’ll take a little help to get your rainbow, it will happen! Wishing you so much luck. Keep us updated! X

@Clumsykitten thank you so much, it’s terrifying but I’m trying to enjoy it while I can! Also I was the same with the acronyms at first, it’s like learning a new language 😂 but 10 months down the line it’s like second nature to me haha!

@tiniestsky the fear of TTC doesn’t go away my lovely. Only you in yourself know when the time is right. And for those that have lost... we live in the hope that we will conceive again, because we’ve overcome the first hurdle of getting pregnant in the first place.
I have good and bad days, some days (today for example) I am looking to the future for me and my fella, our new house together with his 2 year old and my two doggies... and hopefully our own baby soon ❤️
However yesterday I was rock bottom low, crying at work and feeling like giving up.
Each day is a fresh start and a day closer to our next ovulation cycle to try again.
These things come to test us I guess... god only sends the hardest battles to his strongest soldiers. We will all get there one way or another ❤️
I am free to chat if you ever need.

@yukka wow that is an undeniable positive 😬😬 super happy for you my lovely!! Now look after yourself and let the other half pamper you. And make sure you get the pregnancy care and support you need through the EPAU you are entitled to an early scan.

@laney79 keeping my fingers crossed for you that you ovulated and conceived this month!!!

@strawberrye hoping that line gets darker for you! As others have said we all produce HCG at different rates. So don’t let that get you down!!

@DaisyMay25 you may not be able to conceive naturally with your partner but that doesn’t mean that IVF and other treatment won’t work. You guys will have a baby it will just require that little bit of help.
Keep faith in yourselves and look after eachother. This is an opportunity to get so much closer as a couple and share both of your concerns and worries.
When me and my partner lost our twins it rocked us massively, we weren’t communicating and were on the rocks. Then we both stopped and were like ... why are we letting this destroy us?! We are now stronger than ever. And we are getting through our battle together.
I am confident we will get there sweet! Keep your chin up ❤️

Sending you all love xx

@hayleyfx @yukka fingers crossed indeed for all of us! It would be so lovely for these to finally be our rainbow babies. I am 4+2!

Hello ladies, it's been a while!

Update on my situation,
(For those that don't remember been TTC since May 2017 with mc September 2017)
Just been to our second appointment at Yorkshire fertility clinic for test results
DH results were bad again and we was told the chances of us conceiving naturally are very very slim so we've been referred for IVF

Im not even sure how I feel, I've got leaflets to read, an open talk thing to attend on December 20th to meet the doctors and nurses and other couples going through it then an appointment on 8th January to start the process. We're officially infertile, pretty devastating.

I send you all lots of baby dust and hope for Christmas babies!!

thanks Laney79 fingers crossed for your testing on Wednesday

@Hayleyfx yikes we're super close! - congrats, lets hope these beans stay nice and snug for 9 months :) are you going for any early scans?

@strawberrye definitely a line, I really hope it gets nice and dark for you, fingers crossed! 🤞

@Yukka congratulations!! I think I’m 4+4, I hope these are our rainbow babies 🌈❤️

@Laney79 will be keeping everything crossed for you testing 🤞

@strawberrye definite line there-fingers crossed. Hoping for super sticky for you xxx

Wow @Yukka -no mistake there! Congrats! Fingers crossed they get you straight on a treatment protocol and this is your sticky one. Xxx

I'm about 9/10dpo...not had a proper AF since losing bow, trying not to symptom spot or wind myself up too much but my fella says he thinks I'm preggers again. Going to test weds if no AF as before we fell with bow my Luteal phase was about 12 days.

Thanks @lilimum5 and @strawberry it’s a bit surreal as was just letting diagnosis sink in but boobs tstarted to hurt so thought I’d do a test ‘just in case’.
I think I was due on on Saturday, (cycles been slowly getting back to normal since last mc 6 months ago) so just 4w3d. Just done a cheapy and line is visible but much weaker. Don’t be put off @strawberrye we all produce hcg at different levels, today we are pregnant :) xx