TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

@fnej01 I'm glad AF isn't too painful. Not TTC is frustrating and comes with its own difficult emotions, but an enforced break will actually probably do you good. I'm feeling a weight has lifted with not trying although I had been dreading the break beforehand.

@Tiniestsky Thanks. Can't say my journey is going ok really, but I'm travelling it as cheerfully as I can, so it's ok even though it's not ok, if that makes any sense.

@Russkispy Good luck with starting IVF. xxx

@Lilimum5 I'm not really a star; I do it for selfish reasons. Focusing on all of you and helping you through the bad times gets me through mine as well. I'm so grateful to have all of you lovely ladies for support.
It sucks that there's still HCG in your system. I'm really glad you're having a scan in a few days; hopefully it will bring some reassurance. At least your body is doing the right thing by still expelling whatever is in there, hopefully everything will clear soon and the HCG will go down rapidly after that. Fingers crossed that you don't need any further intervention. xxx

@Laney79 How are you today?

@HSapr hi. I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs xxx I think the not trying but not preventing approach is a good idea for you; it takes the pressure off and allows you to focus on healing emotionally from the MC. I hope you're doing ok.

@MeghanV07 I'm pleased you ovulated. That's one worry out of the way. When you feel more back to normal again it helps life get back on track properly. Since you didn't DTD close enough to O you can relax for the rest of the cycle and not have the stress of symptom spotting, so try and enjoy the break as much as possible and give yourself a few treats xxx

@SerenaOverjoyed That's so frustrating that they didn't get all the bloods done straight away. Hopefully they won't be needed now anyway and you're growing a healthy little bean.

@DayDreamer1707 It's tough when your cycles aren't regular. My advice would be to DTD every two to three days throughout your cycle for the best chance. Sperm can live for a few days in the Fallopian tube so don't worry if you're not doing the BD every day or every other day, you'll still be in with a chance so long as you're having fun on a regular basis. And as others have said, using OPKs will allow you to have a bit more of an idea when you're in your fertile period.

@hayleyfx I really find writing therapeutic, and think it's a really good release for your emotions. Well done for dealing with your grief so well. I had a good long cry after reading your message to Charlie. I think I needed it, so thank you.

@Yukka Really proud of you for staying so calm. Sounds like you're doing really well. I hope you manage to keep hold of this calm attitude, but don't worry if you wobble sometimes. Good luck with calling the hospital tomorrow. xxx

I had my 3rd acupuncture treatment today. I'm feeling good about it so far. I have another one next week and then after that it'll be monthly appointments. Hopefully it's helping me boost my fertility ready for when we start trying again but that won't be until after I've had my RMC appointment and I'm still waiting to get that!
I'm feeling like going on a health kick too. I do eat healthily for the most part, walk to work and I'm not overweight, but I think I could be doing better for my body and I want to be in tip-top condition for TTC when the time comes again. I've spent some time today researching a healthy eating plan for myself and I'm pondering ways to get more exercise in my routine... I find it really hard to keep motivation going with exercise.
Does anyone have any tips on how they stay healthy?

@hayleyfx my EPU took me in direct last time, dont hold back and keep pushing them xx thinking if you xx

@daydreamer1707 yes I got bfp yesterday, but this is fourth pregnancy in 14 months and I have just been diagnosed with APS/Hughes syndrome which causes mc, so waiting to start treatment hopefully next week.

@hayleyfx it’s just awful how your own body allows you to continue thinking your pregnant. All MC are awful but just felt cruel and a betray! I’m doing a lot better now and so my recent AF as a fresh start and I just can’t wait to see a BFP!

Sounds awful what you have been through but wow how strong you are too! I’m sure this pregnancy will work out for you now you have your angel above 💕

@hayleyfx that is so beautiful, thank you for sharing. I'm in floods of tears with you. You're absolutely right, that is what a mum does; suffers for her children so they don't have to.
I just need a few minutes to pull myself together again now...
Massive hugs xxx

Thought I’d also share this with you ladies. Was feeling quite down earlier today, wasn’t feeling positive about this pregnancy and couldn’t stop thinking about Charlie. On top of that I got a “you’re 29 weeks pregnant!” email so I wrote this. Just thought I’d share, I know if anyone will understand it’s everyone here ❤️ Showed my fiancée too and we had a little cry. Sometimes it helps to get everything out 💕

@SerenaOverjoyed it’s nice to hear from you again hun. Congrats on the new pregnancy! I’ll be keeping everything crossed for you that this one sticks 🤞 so many bfp’s right now, I’m crossing everything that these are our rainbows!!

@HSapr welcome and I’m so sorry for your loss. Hope the bleeding stops soon and you can get back to normal. I think a casual approach to it is great, after my first loss I obsessed while TTC and it consumed me. Definitely didn’t help! X

@KnitKitty @Laney79 thanks for asking girls. I did drop in the urine sample yesterday morning, haven’t heard anything since. I think I’m going to phone the EPAU tomorrow myself as I’m worried it’s going to keep being delayed. Do they take self referrals - if anyone knows? Still reeling from that doctors appointment! 🙈

@Lilimum5 I hope the scan on Friday gets to the bottom of things. I’m so sorry it’s being dragged out, makes it even harder. Sending hugs x

@DayDreamer1707 I’m so sorry for your loss, my first loss last December was very similar and it was just an awful experience. I hope you’re doing okay. Also it took me ages to get the hang of OPK’s but they are very useful, dtd as much as possible works too though haha! X

Thanks @Rachyxxx I don’t think the OH will complain about that idea. I’ve started to use the ovulation sticks but nothing really showing at the moment. Trying my best to not over think ever little cramp etc but so frustrating when you aren’t overly sure what’s happening with your own body.

@Yukka I’ve started to use them but they are very faint so hoping I can start to stop some patterns for next cycle. No harm in obviously trying this time either. I know everything has all gone as we had a follow up scan and also got a negative so hopefully things are on the up for us. I’ve never used Opks before so I only got the one step to see how I get on. Have you just got your BFP x

@daydreamer1707 I would advice you to start using ovulation tests (opks) as it will be important to understand whether you always ov around the same time and your lures life phases is quirky or if it’s the other way round, or if it’s completely random through the cycle with no pattern. Being able to track this could offer insight to a hormone imbalance and there is loads of simple treatment that could able stablise. Have you ever discussed it with you GP? It would be worthwhile.

Also after a late-ish mc it can take time to go back to normal anyway.

Have you use opks before to track? Xx

Thanks everyone for your kind words :)
Feeling good still today, symptoms are coming up. Determined not to get into the pattern of checking for bleeds all the time.

Calling the hospital back tomorrow to see about appointment for first scan and hopefully to start the heparin. I’ll feel much better when I get to that stage Knowing the outcome is otherwise pretty dismal is hard to stomach but I’m managing to stay calm somehow. But the aspirin should have done enough for good implantation and should see me through till the hep starts.

@russkispy good the IVF meds’ arrive soon! Be good for you to get moving on that.

Sorry for the new joiners who’ve recently joined, it can be hard when we’ve just had a bout of BFPs especially but everyone has experienced some version of what You have been through so don’t hold back on questions or ranting xx

@DayDreamer707 if I were you my lovely I’d be trying to have sex everyday if not every other day between 21/11 (tomorrow) and then 30/11
😬
So have fun dtd but don’t put too much pressure on yourselves sweetheart!!

But I would also use to ovulation tests aswell to monitor what is happening.

Wishing you lots of luck xxx

@Tiniestsky so sorry for your loss, things do get better I promise 🙂.

Well we was never really trying before, was just more of a laid back approach of 'if it happens, it happens' so I never really noticed any ovulation symptoms before. I have been getting slight cramps this week and also had some light pink spotting yesterday. Don't know if that is from my AF though x

@DayDreamer1707 sorry for your loss, not having a regular cycle can make it more difficult to plan I can imagine. Do you ever get any symptoms of ovulating?
I'm pretty regular usually, whether it'll be this way after my mc last week I don't know but I usually find when I ovulate I get a bit of cramping, achy boobs and a discharge.. maybe try to rely on your body's clock as well as testing x

Hi Ladies hope everyone is feeling positive and hope you can offer me some advice please.

I had a MMC last month, I would of been 11 weeks but my baby stopped developing at around 7 weeks. I have had my first AF on the 14th - 16th Nov so this is my first cycle TTC again. We now know more than ever that we want our own little family.

I have been looking back on an app I used before I had my MMC to track my AF and it worked out that my cycles on average where around 23 days. Obviously some would be shorter or longer. I used the miscarriage as my last cycle to begin TTC this time which then took 30 days but this could just be due to the MC. The longest cycle I recorded was 27 days and the shortest being 21 days, looks like my cycles where pretty rubbish 🙈

Should I go off my past average of around 23 cycle length or start completely fresh. I have begun using ovulation strips too which will hopefully help if they work for me. If I go of my past 23 cycle I should be DTD all this week? What are your thoughts? xx

Lilimum5 Sorry this keeps going on for you. It's really unfair. Hopefully you'll get some answers and a decent plan on your scan. From your post yesterday I can definitely relate to finding it hard seeing bumps and babies, it's a reminder of your huge loss. Take care of yourself X

HSapr Welcome and sorry for your loss. Starting to ttc again fits with the conventional wisdom here that what's most important is how you feel.

Rachyxxx you're right, I need to be more assertive. I self-referred to antenatal yesterday and detailed my mc history. I'll chase in a few days and push for a scan.

Yukka I'm definitely going to keep taking it. I've never reached 5wks before so maybe it's the difference? I do feel like I'll be 'told off' for taking it, but I'm not losing a 5th pregnancy because I haven't been seen by rmc 5 months after a referral.

Have you got a management plan for APS yet? I'm definitely watching with interest!!

KnitKitty Thank you for holding me in mind! The support here is amazing, it's good to be back.

I haven't really seen rmc yet. I had an initial apt in August where I saw a staff grade gynae doctor who gave me 5 blood forms and physically examined me, swabbing for STIs. I had my follow up 3wks ago where I was meant to see the consultant, but I met with an apologetic doctor who explained I need many, many more bloods first All at cd21. I was really pissed off.

I've loved taking a break. It's been great to dtd for fun and just not think about ttc for a while. It takes up so much headspace, which is cruel considering how little contol we have!

Oh @Lilimum5 I'm so sorry-did you have an ERPC? I know they don't normally do them under ultrasound guidance so I guess it may be retained tissue? If it helps I had med mgmt after my first loss and although I wasn't checked for retained tissue when I eventually got my period (after 5weeks of bleeding/spotting after the meds) I did pass what I think was a tiny bit of tissue. Think the bleeding was my body trying to clear itself. Big hugs xxx

Never a need to apologise here xx

• drag I mean sorry

So did the test epu gave me still positive and still bleeding great!!! This is day 21 of bleeding and I'm fed up. Got a scan Friday to figure out what is going on. I'm truly fed up of people messing with me now.

Sorry to be a brag xx

@InDreamland I finally ovulated 🙌🏼. Cycle day 15 as fertility friend predicted.

So at least I know if I'm not pregnant this month, I can time BD well and know that I have a good chance of covering my predicted days. We didn't BD close enough to ovulation this month so not hopeful which is fine. Just glad I'm ovulating!

I hope everyone is okay ❤️. Sorry I don't post much but I do look through what everyone says and think of you all through the god awful days xxxx

Good morning ladies
Well here I am, I've lurked for a few days but reading your stories and support of each other has provided no end of comfort.
I started miscarrying on Friday. Confirmed at the hospital on Sunday with a negative pregnancy test, so it must have been lost some time before that. I was only 5 weeks but I am still bleeding so hoping that will go away soon. TTC #1

I have so many thoughts and questions but I don't want to do a super long post!

I think we're planning on not actively TTC straight away but DTD if we feel like it, no counting days, no temping, no ov tests and then decide where we go from the next cycles. As it was an early loss, I'm hoping that's an okay plan for now...

Oops, turned out to be a long post. Sorry x

@KnitKitty he says I'm much tireder than usual (which has been one of the few signs I had with bean and bow) and that he thinks we're pregnant again. I'm not so confident. I've not had a proper AF since losing bow (negative test was 14/10, had some brown spotting for a week 22/10 but not what I'd consider AF) but I had positive opks 8/9/10th nov. Prob is I haven't had much in the way of symptoms really - I tend to need to pee more (that hasn't really kicked in) and my boobs swell (they are a little bigger than norm but that could be AF) so I just don't know. Trying not to get hopes up but desperately want him to be right.

@hayleyfx how did you get on at the doctors lovely?

@KnitKitty thank for your reply.

You really are a star you remember all of us and never fail to offer kind words and support even when you need it your self.
I'm glad to have met you through is journey and I really really hope your appointment goes well and you get your rainbow baby soon. Take care of yourself xx

@tiniestsky absolutely everyone is welcome to join the fb chat! ❤️

@knitkitty I must admit talking and sharing is half the battle. I really feel already a sense of relief having shared my story and helping others.
So I will continue being everyone else’s support for Aslong as they need me.

My journey so far has been heartbreaking and draining but I am absolutely determined it will not beat me. And for every bad day I have, I know I will have so many more good days.
No matter what the future has Instore I am strong enough to take it on.
And one day I will have my rainbow baby ❤️xx

@Yukka , massive congratulations! Everything crossed for the next 9 months!
As for me, AF arrived today! Making the shortest cycle ever - 23 days! And my IVF drugs haven't even been couriered to me yet! Should be here on Wednesday and I could start injections on Thursday. All to confirm with my doctor tomorrow. It's my first IVF ever! Interesting times ahead!

Ladies, a few of us are in a messenger group if anyone wants to join for chat anytime, message me if interested x