TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

@Tiniestsky yep it was my first pregnancy and I was just over 5 was so very early x

@DayDreamer1707 and @BerylBunny thank you for explaining - so a MC is when you get physical symptoms, e.g. bleeding at the actual time of loss, and a MMC is when physical symptoms come after the loss (or not at all in some cases)

@HSapr I know lol
Thanks for e advice, with regards to your question of advice, sorry if you've already said, but is this your first pregnancy? How far along were you?

@HSapr Don't worry, anxiety is awful!

OK so I had a MMC which is where my body let me think I was pregnant right up until 11 weeks,I began having light spotting and had a scan where I then found out my baby had stopped developing at 7 weeks. Its like your body 'missed' having the MC, if that makes sense? x

Sorry I wasn't shouting that!

@Tiniestsky I'm sure the last thought on her mind will be HOW you told her xx

Thanks ladies, I've been sat here staring at my iPad wondering what to type to her and wondering what her response will be, whether she'll be annoyed I didn't tell her sooner or that I told her via message rather than when I see her...

Mmc is a missed miscarriage, usually only picked up on a scan, no bleeding or anything beforehand.

Well done for getting out and about @HSapr,I'm a big believer in a bit of fresh air and clearing the cobwebs!

@Tiniestsky I agree with DayDreamer, I'm sure she won't mind you telling her over the phone. Good luck whatever you decide to do. Today I got out of the house and I must admit I really do feel better for it!

@DayDreamer1707 stupid question...what's the difference between a MC and a MMC?? Sorry I am trying not to google stuff at the moment. It sends my anxiety through the roof!!

@Tiniestsky It's up to you but I do think that if you tell your mum over the phone she will totally understand. Not something you want to travel all that way and do, would be different if she was just around the corner x

@HSapr to be fair I had told my mum and close family I was pregnant as I didn't have a clue what to do and wanted them there in case the worst happened (which it did). So it is totally up to you and depends if you feel you need the support. And you don't sound bad at all, I genuinely can't wait for the day I get to tell people again x

You also probably could of had a MMC which explains you still having HCG in your system. It will have possible been going down over time before you even knew it was happening?

I guess I ask because I'm not sure from her point of view whether she'd be upset I didn't tell her face to face but equally I don't wanna make a big deal about it. My bf doesn't think I should be driving the hour n half journey on my own cos I'd get too distracted by my thoughts

12 week scan that should say, definitely wasn't good news after the 20 week 🙈

With my last mmc coming so late I had to tell everyone because we had shared the good news after the 20 weeks scan. It's forced me to talk about it and it really has made it more manageable. I've had so much support and kindness. But I know what you mean about taking the surprise away, I feel like next I'm pregnant and announce it people will look at me with sadness and ask how I'm feeling and not be excited! There's no right or wrong,it's whatever you're comfortable with xx

@DayDreamer1707 I had very much romanticised the 'telling people' in my head. And I know this may sound stupid but I feel like if I tell friends and family I'll never have that moment again. Like, they would be expecting news from now on and I could never get that moment of surprise and excitement on their faces. Wow. Reading that back, it kinda makes me sound bad...

Welcome @BerylBunny so sorry for your losses, sounds like you have been through an awful time. I've found sharing experiences and advice on here really helpful and I hope you do too x

I'm after a bit of advice myself. I have been thinking about timings of my experience. I tested about 10 times in the 2 weeks I knew I was pregnant, all BFP results. The last one was last Thursday and although it was a tad fainter, it was still very clearly there. (It was a shitty dip strip, so at the time I put it down to that and the fact it was the evening and I'd drank a lot) the spotting started last Friday afternoon and continued to get heavier throughout the weekend. The hospital took a urine sample on Sunday morning and said it was negative. It was only AFTER this that the actual MC took place (I think), I.e. the super heavy stuff.
So I guess I was just wondering what that all means. How can my HCG drop so quickly? I thought it must mean that it ended a lot earlier than last Friday when I started spotting but I was getting super strong tests up until Wednesday. Can the hcg disappear in 3 days?!

@Tiniestsky @HSapr I'm normally rubbish at talking to people about my own situations but opening up and talking to people about my MC actually made it easier to accept it and move forward.
In this situation I don't think there is a right way to tell people, it's whatever is best for you. I'm sure your mum's will just want to support you x

Hi ladies! Just wondering if I might join you? I've been reading your stories and I'm in a similar boat and looking for some support and hands to hold.

I've had 3 mmc, the last one was a late one discovered at the 20 week scan and followed by a pretty traumatic medical management. I have a wonderful DD too that I'm endlessly grateful for but this journey to getting number two is proving gruelling! AF is due today and I can feel she's on her way. 4th cycle since the last mmc.

Hope you're all doing well today xx

@Tiniestsky rightly or wrongly, I haven't told anyone about it. Not yet anyway, and it's only been 6 days so maybe that will change, particularly as I start going out and talking with friends etc, I'm not sure how I'm going to react. Will report back in that one!! Don't really see an issue in texting as you could say it's too hard to say in person. Or you could call her?

*about

Did anyone else here tell their mum the mc via messenger? Bit random I know but I was supposed to be seeing my mum tomorrow but just don't feel up to going out with her for the day to the ideal home expedition but don't know when I'll see her next. A part of me wants to just tell her quickly via message to get it done and out of the way.... that wrong?

Just heard back from the doctor, was a different doctor though thankfully! The urine test was positive (of course) they have referred me to the EPU for a scan at 7 weeks, so in 2 weeks time. They’ve also offered me a blood test in the meantime for reassurance and to see if my levels are going up but I don’t know whether to go for it or not, I feel like it might stress me out even more? That’s probably silly but I know what I’m like 🙈 they said to arrange it myself as if there has been no bleeding then they aren’t worried right now so it’s totally up to me. I’m just glad they actually believe me now, as if I would lie anyway!

@strawberrye I’m so sorry, there is definitely still a chance though that everything is fine. Have you tested again since? I hope you’re okay x

@Laney79 I’m sorry for the bfn 😔 I hope you’re out of limbo soon!

@SerenaOverjoyed @Lilimum5 thank you girls ❤️

@Laney79 I just finished my first AF last week since my MMC in October. It wasn't bad at all, I just had a little spotting and then AF for 3 days so I hope yours is kind to you also. I had a cycle of 30 days where as normally it would range around 23 days so hopefully it could be due for you soon 🤞 It is so frustrating when it's your own body playing this games!

@Lilimum5 I had a scan to see if all was clear and as horrible as it is, it is also a relief to know you can move forward. Some women do take longer to get negative results. I've only had one MMC and I can't wait to TTC so you most be so frustrated. I ma still not sure whats going on with my body. Hope the scan goes well for you x

Oh and @Lilimum5 I always do pregnancy tests with fmu-that way I know they should be roughly the same concentration as I sleep for about the same amount each night and don't drink/get up till morning cxx

@Lilimum5 first MMC (with multiple medical management) was discovered 17th March, I bled from 27 April till 5th June (the final week was my first period I believe as it got a lot heavier again after just spotting/bloody mucus). This time I started bleeding the day of what was meant to be my early reassurance scan 19th sept and I stopped 6th October-that ended up happening naturally. I did get some strange brown discharge for a week 21st Oct, almost like the start of AF but it never developed into a proper period, just brown discharge on wiping. I had positive opks 8/9/10th nov and if I take the data from the couple of cycles in between losses my Luteal phase is normally 12 days so I should be due on yesterday/today. That's if my cycles haven't been utterly screwed by the second MMC.

I wish we could take a bit of a break from trying so actively but I'm 39 and a half. I just can't risk any delay. The 50/50 chance of miscarriage at 40+ statistic is like some horrid deadline in my head. I know it's silly but it's the way I feel. Always used to joke that if we were going to have kids I didn't want to be trying for a baby when I was 40 (seen a couple of friends struggle and have probs so in my head it was my cut off.) seemed so far away at the time but now it's so very close. I'm not ready to give up. Xxx