TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

@hellotoyellow Brilliant news about the HCG. Fingers still firmly crossed that everything is 'normal' and healthy in there and progressing well.

@InDreamland So sorry you're struggling hun. Hugs xxx

Hi @RanchoRelaxo So sorry to hear of your loss. You're very welcome here. We all totally understand what it is to lose a pregnancy, and the mixed emotions of trying again afterwards. So you're in good company. xxx

So the spotting has pretty much completely stopped again. I have never had this happen in my life, so I don't know what's going on. Feeling periody today and a bit yesterday, so might be about to come on but hoping against hope that it was implantation bleeding and I just tested too early. I really can't imagine that being the case though.

RE posting stuff on social media. I've just changed my profile picture on Facebook to a picture of the pregnancy loss awareness pin with I'm Supporting Baby Loss Awareness Week and posted a link to this:
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Someone-You-Know.pdf
I've also bought the pin from the Miscarriage Association. Hoping it doesn't take too long to arrive, it would be nice to get to wear it this week.
I wanted to share my scan picture... The proof that I actually had Little Pea in there growing... But I can't bring myself to do it. It feels so sad that so many of us have had that joyous moment of announcing our pregnancies ripped away from us.
Does anyone else want to share their MC scan on here though? I don't know how many of you will have one... I requested one regardless of whether it was good or bad news before my last scan to confirm if the pregnancy was progressing or not. I'm so glad I did. But it never sees the light of day.

Also I might do this next week and copying it just so you're all aware it's happening:
^The final day of Baby Loss Awareness Week, Monday 15 October, is also recognised as International Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day. On this day you might like to take part in the international Wave of Light.

People around the world light a candle or candles at 7pm local time in memory of the baby or babies they have lost. Photos of these candles on social media create a wave of light that spreads across the globe. You can join this virtual wave of light by adding your photo at 7pm on Monday October 15, with the tag #WaveofLight.^

Hi girls, I am just getting over an early loss, was reading through a bit of this thread to sort of see if what I was going through was normal I guess, and I've just read your post @Laney79 and had to comment to say how lovely it is, and you are so brave for putting it on social media, and actually speaking out about how common miscarriage is. I hope you get some lovely responses

@laney79 you made me cry! Beautiful words that sum up everything so succinctly. It is important to talk about it openly. I rarely use social media (except here and I'm not exactly frequent in writing) but do talk openly about it with friends. I find it helps a lot and, as you say, it turns out 90% of my friends who've ttc have had an mc. Sadly, we are not alone.

@Laney79 what you and RedRobin7 wrote is so true about it being talked about. I want to post something too but at same time don't. Those I want to know have been told. Yes it's something that I feel should be talked about but I'm not comfortable telling social media although I wish I was. I'm torn. Definitely share it though if you're comfortable doing it. I'm considering just posting a photo of my candle for the wave of light next week but not writing anything.

@KnitKitty you're not out until the witch gets you.

@hellotoyellow fx for you!

I'm 9 DPO with AF due on Wednesday and feeling so emotional. I'm just so tired from not sleeping. Keep thinking I should be 24 weeks now. 12 weeks ago today I had the mc. This really sucks.

@KnitKnitty you're not out until AF, and thank you.

@Laney that's lovely for social media - and so brave. Let us know how it goes.

@newbie hopefully AF has a good reason to be late, fingers crossed!

Had my bloods back and HCG more than doubling. Can't deal with recurrent early scans so going to wait as long as possible to maximise heartbeat chances - just want to get on with life if I can until then.

Oh congrats @Robin78 super chuffed for you! Fingers crossed all goes well xx

@laney79 nice words. I’m a but mixed as I’ve never felt I couldn’t tak about it, I just chose carefully who I did tell so I’d get the right support for me. So true... “at least you can get preggers” sod off!!. You can look at the cake but you can’t eat any!

Just back from second round of bloods, only 7 vials this time...! Starting aspirin tonight in case implantation happens this weekend. Come on now little swimmers :)

@knit kitty frers are 6mol and we can have 5mol or less normally, and when pregnant hcg generally doubles each day. Implantation is usually day 8-10 so you could get faint positive 24hrs after implantation in theory. I did feel implantation on my last one, it was weird and emotionally nice but I avoided testing till day 12 xx

P.S. How long after implantation would FRER show a positive?

@Newbie21 I hope you are creating a little life in there as we speak. After my first CP I felt the same, that I didn't want to test too early to save the heartache of another loss. But as time went on I changed my mind again and felt I wanted to know if it happens again so I can understand what's going on more. I totally back you on the waiting thing though.

@Laney79 Lovely words. I hope your OH is ok with you positing.

So I kept this morning's FMU and used an FRER and it's negative. I keep thinking I see a shadow of a line for a split second but I think it's wishful thinking because I know where the line should be.
Still no period and spotting has stopped, so all I can do is wait for now. Sigh.

Following on from @RedRobin7 and the idea of posting something for baby loss awareness week I've written the following. What do you think? Obv need to clear it with my man but I'm feeling more than ever that I should post something.

"Right about now I should be packing my hospital bag, and freaking out about giving birth to our first baby.

Instead, I’m waiting for my body to recover after losing our second little one. And we are heartbroken.

I’ve had two “missed miscarriages” - no signs anything is wrong until you have a scan and they discover the baby is far too small for your dates. I’d never even heard of it until it happened to me. And that is one of the reasons why I’m writing this.

Miscarriage isn’t spoken about. It’s kept for quiet conversations in hushed tones. As a woman you aren’t warned that actually miscarrying can happen in several different ways, and there aren’t always signs. So when it does happen it’s even more of a shock.

By not talking about it, not being open, it adds to the horrendous feeling of guilt and shame that comes when you lose a baby. Because it’s not spoken about you feel like you shouldn’t either. But do you know what, enough. I am going to talk about it, I am going to talk about those teeny tiny precious bundles of cells that we created that bought so much joy even for such a short time. I owe them that. They existed, and they may be the only ones I ever have.

Miscarriage and baby loss is devastating. The amount of people who, when I told them what happened to us, said yes it happened to me too is incredible. I know it’s personal, and bloody hell is it painful but it should be talked about more openly. If statistics are to be believed it happens in one out of four pregnancies. I’m on the fence about that- it’s 2/2 for me and both have been missed-something you apparently have a 1% chance of.

Oh and just a few tips if someone you know and love does experience baby loss. For me I’d say please no platitudes, no it’s just terribly bad luck, no I’m sure it’ll be fine next time, and definitely no well at least you can get pregnant (no use if they die at 6 weeks or I can’t carry them)...just give me a hug and know that there’s nothing you can do or say to make it better, I wish there was."

Sorry to hear that @KnitKitty but remember you're not out until AF shows up.

@robin78 I think you take the right approach, as hard as it is. I know in my heart of hearts I'm in a similar boat - agewise. I've only had one MMC and one CP but I'll be 38 in December so I appreciate it might not come so easy for me for that reason alone. If the problems continue, I will investigate further just in case anything else can be done to help.

I'm DPO 15 today. No AF as yet but given the CP last cycle I'm not testing for a while. If I'm late, I'll put it down to random cycle post CP. last cycle I tested on AF due date and got a BFP but then a week later lost it and I'm not sure I want to get my hopes up again so will just wait it out. Plus I don't feel at all pregnant and DH was on the receiving end of my PMT outbursts yesterday so think he'd freak if he thought that was down to pregnancy hormones - 9 months of it might send him over the edge, haha.

Thanks @robin78 fingers crossed this one goes well for you. Are you taking anything different this time? Aspirin or anything?

Second MMC has hit me hard, it was so very similar to the loss of bean. My bow only lasted 1 day more, and discovered at the same point in early scan. It's probably the age/eggs/chromosomes for me too but my gut instinct is telling me I need to rule out blood issues. I'm really grateful to be getting the tests.

@KnitKitty I'm really sorry to hear that-what test did you use? I didn't get a line until 14/15dpo xxx

Tempted to get FRER today. I feel like something keeps catching my eye on the test but OH sait it was definitely BFN.

Why does my body do this to me??

BFN this morning of course. Still no period.

Thanks for all the good wishes ladies, much appreciated! Whether it is good news or bad i’ll be sure to let you know...

@laney79 I had just made the decision to go to the gps and ask about tests when this happened. Tbh while the mcs have been awful, I’ve never felt like it was a mystery. Having spoken to people and reading around a bit I just feel like the most likely explanation is chromosomal issues due to age meaning less good eggs to choose from - and a bit of bad luck. I know a bunch of women who’ve got pregnant in their late thirties early forties and their experiences range from accidental and straightforward pregnancy, to 1 or 2 miscarriages then a baby or two, to recurrent mc. If this one goes wrong I will get referred though...

CP not VP!

@KnitKitty no sign of AF yet apart from me being pretty short tempered today and I usually get like that with PMT. I'm 14 DPO today and CD 31 so late for me but I know ovulated later this month than usual due to VP last month. I'm going to give it a week before I test but I'm sure AF will show up in the next day or so. I don't feel pregnant and each time I've been pregnant in the past (however brief) I've felt pregnant.

Maybe yours is implantation. Fingers crossed it is!

2 BFPs! Congrats @robin78 and @hayleyfx. Fingers crossed for you both. Another week approaches for those with tww. Hope you're all having chilled Sunday evenings, so important to do nothing but sit on the sofa with a blanket and a film every now and then. Love it!

Thanks @MeghanV07 @Laney79 @RedRobin7 and @Melpops.

I'm 8DPO and AF is due on Wednesday...……….. I have a couple of FRERs which I'm trying to resist using. If AF comes this month then I will get straight on the phone to a private clinic I've found not too far from where we live and book in for a consultation. The NHS consultant did get me to have more bloods for hormones (the standard ones) and progesterone at CD21 which I happened to be on when I had my appointment so went straight for that test. Waiting for the appointment for the internal scan again just for reassurance that things are ok there.

@Knitkitty @RedRobin7 Michael McIntryre was amazing, he was hilarious, I really needed a good laugh and I got one. Had a lovely evening out.

@Boboelephant hope you've had signs of ovulation and you're ok. I've never tried meditation so don't really know what to do (sorry if I sound thick).

@Robin78 so lovely to see you back here and huge congratulations! Hope this is a sticky one!

@hayleyfx congratulations to you too! Hope this is a sticky one and that line keeps getting darker! Also congrats on the engagement! So exciting, it will definitely keep you occupied.

Sorry for anyone I've missed. Fx for everyone in TWW!

Thanks @knitknitty although I have known for years so the infertility thing isn't so hard for us. It was the miscarriage that really knocked us but we are getting there. Got everything crossed for you, I really hope this is your bfp x

@KnitKitty thank you ❤️

Thanks for the support ladies. So I'm now somewhere between 13 to 11 DPO. I'm on my 3rd day of spotting and actually it's sort of stopped again today. I do sometimes spot before AF but usually only the day before I start and it's usually a bit more than this; the only other time it was this prolonged and light was when I was pregnant so feeling a bit nervous. Really feeling that by body is probably trolling me and I'm not getting my hopes up, but I think I'm going to test in the morning unless AF shows before then.

@Laney so glad the spotting has stopped for you! Hope the BFN isn't far behind.

@Newbie21 Has AF showed up today?

@hellotoyellow I'm glad they said it's looking unlikely to be ectopic. I can totally understand your nervousness about it though. Will you be having a 6 week scan? How long until that happens? Take each day/hour/minute as it comes. Whenever you get a wave of anxiety just remember that it's only a thought, and try to let that thought go. Get some positive mantras going and repeat them to yourself after waking up if you have any more nightmares.

Hi @Delilah7 I've seen you around on MN, welcome to the thread. Sorry for your loss. xxx

@RedRobin7 so sorry about the migraine! Hope that doesn't keep happening and your body gets used the meds.
I hope you managed to DTD and some strong swimmers are in there waiting for eggy.

@keebo that must be a difficult situation, wanting to get pregnant but also feeling you should wait for the tests. Hopefully you will get a BFP with a sticky bean and won't need the referral!

@hayleyfx Fingers crossed for you... Was the line darker than the others on the one you took when you were out shopping? Did you use the same brand test to compare? So exciting!

@Melpops36 Looks like some good temp rising there. I have to admit I'm not quite sure what I'm looking at on your pic as I've never used those tests and don't know where the test line shows up.

@robin78 Lovely to see you drop by again, and with such wonderful news! Congratulations!

Mistymeow really hope the meds will do the trick for your DH, and quickly. It must be such a difficult thing for you both to deal with. You're so strong and courageous. Fingers crossed for you.

So pleased for you @hayleyfx and you @robin78. I really really hope you both have an easy ride from here on in. You both deserve it. @robin78 Did you end up getting any tests done? Are you taking any meds now you've had a BFP?

My bleeding/discharge has stopped completely but tests are still positive so got to wait and test again in a few days. I hate wishing for BFNs. It's just wrong. I need it to happen so I can get back to ttc with you lasses.

Thanks everyone!! Just popped into town and bought a couple frer - nipped to the toilets in town to do it cause I couldn’t wait haha 🙈 well it’s positive! Faint but definitely a second line. I’m feeling so nervous atm. Have one more test to do tomorrow or Tuesday. I just hope it sticks 🤞

@robin78 congratulations. I hope you have a very sticky bean in there x

@boboelephant any sign of eggy yet? Sounds very similar to a cycle I had a few months ago. Hope you're doing ok?
@hayleyfx and @Melpops36 got everything crossed! Those look like early positives :)
@robin78 so happy for you, thanks for sharing! It gives me hope. I really hope it all goes well and good for you for enjoying the moment. All the best x

We got dh's sperm results from the past few years. When he was off treatment after I got my BFP his results plummeted to 2 million so it might take a while yet for them to build up again. Such a shame as he was responding so well, but they stopped making the drug in the UK and the consultant was rubbish so he wasn't on anything (his body can't produce hormones without assistance). We have a better consultant now who has put him on a new drug which is meant to be excellent. I just hope the results pick up soon otherwise it all seems like such a long shot. Bah!