TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

@strawberrye and @Yukka , thank you!
My everything is crossed! And if Negative, will go for another IUI and eventually IVF. Let's see what happens this time!

@Laney79 thank you for the pictures of your dog, so cute! And I felt I could have written your post. We have decided if no BFP by January we'll go to GP then - that will be almost 1 year post first pregnancy, 10 months since second loss and over 15 months of trying. It just seems so far away. Think I'm maybe feeling a bit fragile today as a friend is having her baby shower, I decided not to go because I think it'd be really hard being so close to my original due date. Feeling really jealous of her but also really guilty about how I feel

@Yukka its interesting that they have you on aspirin already. My GP has done some clotting tests and I think one for Hughes' syndrome has come back borderline positive, so I'm waiting to have the second test in around a month. No advice given though on aspirin. Do you know what your levels were?

@Russkispy sending you lots of luck following the IUI

@russkispy best of luck!! Hope this one catches for you and hope you’re feeling ok xx

@Littleray84 @dulwichdays @Newbie21 , massive congratulations to your BFP! Everything crossed for you! It gives all hope!
Sorry to hear about AFs and BFNs, frustrating beyond imagination.
And sorry whoever is struggling and frustrated with everything else!
As for me, IUI done on Friday. Responded well to Clomid and didnt need additional injections for boosting the follicles. had 4 mature follicles, 2 on each side (never had it this way with IUI), and the dominant on the day, was on the left at 20mm. Had my acupuncture straight after procedure and then was on a drip. Now taking progesterone pills and other good stuff including some pills to help implantation. Have to do HCG blood test on 23 and 25 of this month.
Time will tell.

@hayleyfx thinking if you and keeping everything crossed.

@laney79 it’s 75mg aspirin for now (since blood was taken last week) pending next results in about a week. This was incase I conceive this cycle whilst waiting and can help implantation if I do have the condition.. If they are negative he said to take aspirin anyway as there is some evidence to support it helps in older mums. If tests are positive then when next pregnant I’ll stay on the aspirin and have heparin injections everyday until about 34 weeks.

@strawberrye rollercoaster is a great way of describing the feeling.

One minute so positive and focussed that it will happen-seconds later the doubts and overwhelming fear it won't, and now you know just how much you want it...it's frankly a headf**k! Then the symptom spotting starts driving you crazy...it's so very hard.

I'm now questioning everything. My fella is confident we'll get a BFP by Christmas. Despite falling twice this year I'm worrying myself stupid that I'll develop secondary infertility, and that's before I even get to the freaking out about not being able to get past 6 weeks and facing another MC if we are lucky enough to get a third BFP.

Oh for the simplicity, the naivety of just not having to "try" - just getting those lovely lines on a pee stick. And being able to go to scans and appointments thinking everything will be fine, without the primal fear that it wasn't fine last time, and what makes this any different.

Do you know what we need distraction. Here's a pic of my dog to make you smile.

Thanks @hayleyfx @Yukka and @Blondcat.

Urgh I am so frustrated with myself. Does anyone feel like the TWW is a complete rollercoaster? One minute I'll be feeling fine, quite optimistic and then the next I have that horrible visceral feeling it'll never happen.

Oh @hayleyfx - I feel for you. Not knowing what's going on is the worst for me. I'm a bit of a control freak. I really hope all is ok and they can help you on Monday

@Boboelephant wow! Oz! I loved my trip out there. Did Melbourne, drive to Sydney via Canberra and then Brisbane and barrier reef. Was a great place. Hope you are having an amazing time. Yeah the holiday win is fab-but I'm trying not to get too excited in case we do catch again and I have to give it up. May have been looking at some v posh hotels though to see how far my £3000 prize will take me!

@Littleray84 @dulwichdays @Newbie21 congrats and fingers for an uneventful and healthy pregnancy from here on in for you guys

@KnitKitty we've seen muse three times too-all big stadium gigs mind (Prague, O2 in London, and ricoh in Coventry) so Royal Albert will be interesting! how are you doing now? Do you have more bloods next week?

@RedRobin7 huge hugs-it's so hard for the fellas too. My man had a meltdown this week-tiny thing, sorting a diy problem that he struggled with, and then all of a sudden he was in floods. Guess he'd been storing that up for the past couple of weeks. Take care.

@keebo I'd be annoyed too-it's just adding to your suffering to mess like that, even if it's unintentional. Can you speak to the practice manager about it? Or is there a patients group you could raise the admin issues with?

@Yukka fingers crossed the acupuncture helps. Is it just aspirin the dr has you on? I'm waiting to hear back from my consultant about the 75mg version. Have said that unless there's evidence to say it'll cause harm I want to try it from any future BFP.

Apologies to those I've missed. Xxx

Thanks girls. My bleeding has stopped now just the odd brown spotting but I’m still getting positive pregnancy tests. Tried to phone EPU today but couldn’t get through so guess I just have to wait till Monday to phone the doctor. Trying not to think about it as I know there’s nothing I can do right now but I just want to know what’s going on. Never been so confused!! 😔

@KnitKitty how are you doing hun? Still got everything crossed for you 🤞

@Boboelephant thank you! Hope you’re having a lovely holiday and 🤞 for you this month!!

@strawberrye thank you, trying to stay hopeful. I hope you get your BFP this month. I know what you mean, as much as I love this group I feel like I’ve been here for ages haha!! Lovely to see lots of bfp’s this month

And finally massive congrats to everyone who has got their BFP recently! I hope that each and every one of you have a very sticky bean. Fingers crossed. 🤞

Morning ladies

I've not commented much recently but still here lurking. Contrasts to those with their bfp's fingers crossed for lots of sticky beans.

Sorry too hear some of you are having an uncertain or tough time.

I got a bfp this morning on a clear blue digital too 1-2 weeks , had one AF since my mmc 4 weeks 3 days ago but really not sure when I ovulated think it may have been 12 or 13 days ago going off ewcm and ovulation pain.

Let's hope there are more bfp's coming xx

Thank you ladies xx

@boboelephant and @strawberrye thank you and I am sure you ladies will get your bfp's soon I will be sticking around to see that.

@newbie21 congratulations and fx for a sticky bean too xx

Hi ladies congrats @dulwichdays @newbie21 and @blondcat that’s lovely news hoping for sticky beans for you. Keep us updated won’t you xx

@keebo I think I most private clinics will do the referral for you for about £25 is nhs gp can’t.

@knitkitty and @hayleyfx sorry to read about the bleeds and possible cp’s. Be good for you to get referred for tests even if to rule anything out. See what the next few days brings.

@awakeatnight and @laney79 and those that posted on social media.... I was thinking about my experience in discussing with people and I thought I hadn’t experienced anything bad but actually, I told one friend on holiday in July and she’s never mentioned it to me at all, never asked how I am doing. A friend I spoke to on Tuesday said I haven’t spoken about the last mc all summer, and I thought, cos no-ones asked? Except in here and one of my sisters (who is due the same day my last was due in December, bless her). Another friend (male) said that seeing as when my dh and I got together (12 yr ago in our 20’s) we didn’t plan marriage or kids it would probably just be a bonus to have a baby now anyway. I guess people just don’t know what to say, they want to empathise and reassure but don’t know how. It’s a bit shit all round.

@bobo have a fabulous holiday!

@strawberrye I’m with you, 9dpo today but have had weird cycles so trying to not symptom spot. Fingers crossed for you Hun. Had acupuncture on Monday and she focused on implantation and started Aspirin then too on consultants guidance pending blood results for hughes.

Morning ladies, like boboelephant I feel I have left it too long to catch up properly.

@Newbie21 @dulwichdays @Blondcat yaaay congratulations it's so nice to see some of the familiar faces on here whose journey has been a bit longer finally get their BFP! Wishing you the healthiest pregnancy and bubba's ever

@hayleyfx and @KnitKitty sorry to hear about the dreadful uncertainty you are both going through. I'm keeping everything crossed for you both that you have healthy pregnancies in there which are just causing stress because of bleeding. Please keep us updated if you feel able

@redrobin7 that sounds like a really tough decision to have to come to when you are so desperate to have a baby. I hope that good karma comes back at you when you start trying again with a quick and sticky BFP

@keebo that sounds super frustrating I'm sorry the NHS admin has screwed things up for you. Sending hugs

@awakeatnight that does sound pretty insensitive but she probably didn't mean to hurt you. Do you feel able to sit her down and be honest with her about how that made you feel?

@boboelephant hope you're having a wonderful holiday in Australia and that all the sunshine and rest is helping a little fertilised eggie nestle in safely

Seems like there has been a flurry of BFPs recently which is nice to see, especially when they are from some of the old timers here. Gives me hope that I might not be on here forever! It would be really nice not to be a TTC member of this group for an entire year! I'm 6DPO and hoping to keep a lid on the crazy for as long as possible.

I got my BFP this morning - CB digital - 2-3 weeks. I estimate about 19-20 days since ovulation (based on when I got my flashing smiley) so this seems to be about right. I'm already worrying that the hormone levels aren't multiplying like they should but I need to put that out my mind as I have no control over it. As one of the lovely ladies said on this group one time, "today I am pregnant" and I am happy.

Thank you for all your support over the last number of months. I plan to stick around for a while as it's super early days and I'm excited and terrified at the same time.

@boboelephant I hope you're having a wonderful holiday and find some relaxation.
@awakeatnight that sounds insensitive of your friend but try not to take it personally- it sounds like see is trying to connect with you, but going the wrong way about it. So many people struggle with the concept of mc. As with any bereavement people don't really know what to say or do and often get it completely wrong.
I'm hugely irritated today. I was referred nearly 8 weeks ago by my gp because mc1 was after 10 wks (NICE guidelines say 3 mc or 1 after 10 wks) and I've called every 10 days to see what is going on. I love the bus and, having worked for them, I have an idea of the difficulties within but after 8 weeks with several communication screw ups between my gp surgery and the referral unit it turns out my go surgery has cancelled the referral altogether! Why?? It's so frustrating! It seems to all be down to staff shortages but I hate it. I'm the only one affected by it and the only one not able to actually do anything. Typically the people I need to speak to are part-time and never there when I ring. DH says we should just pay and go private for some tests but that needs another go referral and I'm now at the stage where I don't trust the surgery to do anything. The gps are all great and really supportive but the admin is just horrendous. Sorry to rant - I'm just so fed up of waiting!

Hello lovely ladies!! Sorry for my radio silence. I'm in Australia on hols and have been trying to catch up for a few days but jetlag keeps getting in the way! So now I'm about 7 pages behind and can't catch up but I didn't want to leave it any longer.
Thanks to those who asked after me. I think I ovulated on day 22 finally. I got a positive opk and temp rise the next day so very quick in the end. I then had a dip but then left for holiday so haven't been able to confirm it. So possibly about 7dpo, possibly not. I've decided to just relax now this month and see what happens.

@KnitKitty and @hayleyfx I'm so sorry for the bleeding and stress. I have everything crossed for you both and that your babies are just settling in and you both get your happy endings. You both so deserve it!
@Blondcat and @Dulwichdays congratulations to both of you!! Wonderful news old timers!! 😁😁😁
@Laney79 beautiful necklace and woo for Greece! Glad you are getting some tests done.
@RedRobin7 sorry you have to take some time off but hopefully it brings you both renewed energy for ttc and your relationship and DH's MH. Hugs!
@awakeatnight oh that is insensitive. I'm sorry that you had to experience that.
Well done to everyone who bravely shared their stories for awareness and hugs to anyone who needs one. I'll try and be better at keeping up!!

Thanks @hayleyfx @hellotoyellow @KnitKitty @keebo I even got some lovely messages from people who I thought I had fallen out with, so it's been a very healing experience in more ways than one.

@knitkitty and @hayleyfx I'm really sorry to read about what you're going through. It must be so draining to go through this again. I'm really hoping the bleeding is not the end of the pregnancy and a sign of something else. Got everything crossed for the blood tests. Sending the biggest hugs of all time xx

@dulwichdays so lovely to see your BFP, thank you for getting in touch. It does indeed give us all hope. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy x

@awakeatnight I don't really understand what she means by saying she feels really pregnant now, so feels she understands how you felt when you lost the baby? I do find that very insensitive to remind you of what you went through, especially as she doesn't seem to understand at all. Perhaps she couldn't articulate herself properly over a message- is it worth meeting up for a face to face chat?

Thanks for your comments on my social media post and scan picture ❤️

@KnitKitty I'm so sorry to hear that, i hope the blood tests reveal that there's still hope and , if not, that you get a kind medical team who are willing and able to help you gear back up again.

@hayleyfx darker lines are a great sign! My best friend had several heavy bleeds with her now almost 2 year old. They were from haematomas caused by a prior miscarriage so perhaps this is what's happening to you.

@Laney79 Beautiful necklace ❤️ lovely idea.

@RedRobin7 just to add my commiserations. I hope the two of you can find some time to reset and regather yourselves. I'd also like to mention that you hear SO many stories of couples who fall as soon as they officially stop trying ;)

I'm having a total exasperation/despairing day. One close friend who I counselled and cried with after her early miscarriage a few weeks after my first (after the 12 weeks scan) messaged me to tell me she was pregnant, three paragraphs on how ill she was feeling and how she now 'understands how I felt when I lost my baby' because she "really feels pregnant now". WTF?! I didn't reply because I realise I'm sensitive and she probably is too, but that's a pretty insensitive thing to do right?

Been lurking for a little bit while attempting to step back from the boards for a bit but jumping back on!

@knitkitty so sorry to hear what you’re going through. Sending you the biggest of hugs xxxxx

@hayleyfx sorry you’re having such a confusing time. Really hope your get some answers soon. The hospital remembrance book for Charlie sounds lovely xx

@dulwichdays congratulations! Really great news after a long time ttc. It gives me hope.

@melpops congratulations!

@redrobin7 it must be tough to have to stop when you want this so much but hopefully a break will do you both good and you can continue your ttc journey again soon.

Still no luck for me. Had a moment of hope last night when thought I saw something on a frer but bfn this morning. Onto cycle 6 post mc.

@hayleyfx what kind of bleeding have you had? I hope you have a stubborn little bean which is sticking through the bleeding.

@keebo thank you. I'm sorry you've had such a tough year. Stay strong. xx

Congraulations @dulwichdays. Hope it's your rainbow. xx

I'm pretty confident that this pregnancy has finished. The bleeding has been like a heavy period, although no clots really, but I was only 4 weeks 4 days, so not really strange I don't think.
OH still wants me to have the blood tests so I'm going to go and have that done soon.
Feeling slightly better emotionally today but could be better, obviously.

Hoping everyone else is ok today. Spreading baby dust around. xxx

@dulwichdays lovely news. Very very strong lines. I find it so comforting to hear positive news in this group. Hope all continues to go well and if you want to, do keep us posted.

@dulwichdays congratulations nice strong positive x

Hi all, it’s been a few months since I’ve been on the forum. I found that I needed to step away from the focus of TTC as it was becoming all consuming. Obviously we never actually stopped trying, but I stopped all testing, monitoring, everything!
Yesterday, the 9th cycle after our MMC we got our BFP. Ironically we had a private appointment with a fertility clinic booked for Monday!
I hope this message doesn’t upset anyone, as I know that not everyone is having an easy journey at the moment. But I remember finding comfort in other people’s storied and BFP’s.
Everyone here was such a good support through my very dark days and I cannot thank you enough! Xx

@knitkitty @haleyfx I’m thinking of you both. Xxx
Thanks very much for all the well wishers, I’m petrified but all good so far.