TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

So now at the magic 3 number my plan is - take 3 months off to get my body back to baseline. The consultant at the hospital has advised this is best approach to tests, any tests so soon after m/c will not necessarily give a clear picture. TMI but we did manage to collect the tissue from this mc - so that is being sent off to Great Ormond Street for tests - totally grim to do, but got to give it a try. I plan to strong arm my GP for a referral to St Mary's, even if they can't help me, I feel passionately about being able to participate in research that might help someone else in the future. I am actually feeling quite liberated at a few months off ttc, I have had 3 mc since June so a break is definitely needed. My other half has been my rock, and so I might get my finger out and actually book our wedding in the mean time.

Sorry clicked too soon. EPAU locally have been fantastic, as the pregnancy was of unknown location, and HCG initially didn't fall quickly.

Hi All,

I haven't posted on here for a few weeks, though have been reading regularly. So sorry to read of those of you with further miscarriages, I can totally feel how others feel especially @laney79 and @knitkitty. @hayleyfx - have everything crossed for you.

So a quick update from me since last post where GP had referred me after 2 mc. Found out was pregnant again, was sure this was our one. Unfortunately alarm bells started ringing last Saturday (5+2) and Monday bloods showed all not well. Thursday at 6 weeks MC began.

@Laney79 , I've no odd what's going on but it better be a good/positive outcome haha too early to test as it's only 8 or 9 post IUI. In the meantime I'll suffer 

@hayleyfx I think I'd call EPAU too-too many possibilities there. I'd be the same, whatever it is (and I hope it's a new bean for you with all my heart) you need to know so you can deal with it. Hugs.

@Russkispy could you have caught a bug? I think I'd have to poas-admire your restraint!

@mostimproved how are you today? I'm so sorry to hear about the bleeding xxx

Posted some of the below on another thread I'm on but just to update you on me this week...

Well this week has been pretty tough. Going back to work with the royal baby news was bloody hard.

Had a gp appt weds -some of my test results are in - apparently thyroid is good (was 1.8 earlier in the year after losing bean, 1.37 this time which is apparently exactly where it needs to be for pregnancy) no sign of diabetes or infection etc, so nothing yet to explain why I'm losing, but got to wait for the clotting/sticky blood results.

I'm also torn between desperately wanting it to be a blood issue because then we know and can treat it, and not wanting anything to be found-because if that's the case it's likely to be age/egg quality and they can't do anything to treat that.

I'm doing opks again because I have no idea what my body is up to. Bleeding stopped 6/10, BFN 14/10, so trying to figure out when I might ovulate and when AF might be due. With the two AF's After Bean I ov'd day 13/14 with a 25/26 day cycle...but who knows now. Any ideas ladies? All opks negative so far.

Sounds daft but I'm also frightened to try again-in my head nothing has changed so if I catch again it will just lead to another Mc. Something needs to change for me to have hope/faith it will work. Bonkers huh?

Got Reflexology this morning, then hair cut before my fellas mates surprise 40th birthday party. Got to try and get back to normal.

Diarrhea and sickness in full swing this morning and I haven't even eaten anything for the past 2 days. Am at work now and drinking peppermint tea. I do not have any explanation for this. Roll on Tuesday so I can test and have answers to it all!

@Mistymeow it’s definitely a possibility but just seems so unlikely after having a normal period... who knows. I’m beyond confused. Think I’ll phone EPU tomorrow as I’m pretty worried about infection. Thanks for the advice!

I’m going out of my mind here wondering what’s going on!! I’ve been confused as to why my tests are lighter or almost negative in the morning with fmu but much darker with diluted urine so googled the hook effect and gave it a try. Diluted my urine sample with about 50% water and got a strong positive! Probably the strongest one I’ve had. The hook effect is meant to happen at 6+ weeks wtf 🤦‍♀️ My mind is in overdrive. I just want to know what’s going on.

@mostimproved I’m so sorry, it’s just so unfair. I hope you’re okay. Sending love x

@mostimproved I'm so sorry. I hope that you are mistaken. Sending you hugs and hoping you are surrounded by the support you need xx

@mostimproved that’s just awful. I’m so so sorry xx

@mostimproved , I'm so sorry to read this! It just sucks! Look after yourself! 

Hi ladies, sadly I am back to join you as I have started miscarrying today at 6 weeks. I haven't bothered going to EPU as I'd rather be at home (well I'm actually at work but going home in a couple of hours).

I feel so stupid as I went to the GP on Wednesday and told him I was pregnant, sent off my antenatal referral and got my flu jab, only to start spotting yesterday and have just passed a lot of clots and red blood so am pretty sure this is the end. Really frustrating as my thyroid results were good, TSH was 2.2, and I thought things were looking up! But I should have known, I didn't have any symptoms and I guess it was just not meant to be... again!

Apologies for not replying to everyone, I haven't kept up but will have a read through all the messages.

@Angelbabyollie I'm glad you have managed to get some answers, and sorry to hear that the hospital made mistakes. Thank you for sharing. How are you getting on? The symptoms sound promising, although I also have had similar before af- she is tricksy like that! I'm on cd3 now so I'm looking forward to this cycle :)
@Russkispy and @meghanv07 that does sound promising, although it doesn't sound much fun! Keeping everything crossed x
@knitkitty glad to hear you had a good appointment with the accupuncturist. It sounds like you need to take some sort of control of your fertility- I certainly felt that way when I got referred for IVF. That there is a plan. It's reassuring and it feels good when you have someone taking care of you. I think if I were you I wouldn't think too far ahead just yet, don't put any pressure on yourself to do anything right now. Recover. And then see how you feel about ttc again.
@hayleyfx hmm I'm sorry this is still continuing. Has anyone said there is a possibility that the bleeding was something else, and you are still pregnant? Sorry I don't want to get any hopes up after what you've been through, but it just seems so odd with you getting such strong positives and now the bleeding has stopped. Have they done bloods to check levels? I would call the EPU as you are concerned about infection, and I should think the EPU can at the very least reassure you, or have you in for tests sooner. I really hope things get better soon.

Sorry to those having a rough time. I had my usual 13 dpo wobble and tears "I want a baby" to DH but realistically it could take us another year or more. CD3 now and feel better.

@MeghanV07 it is really bizarre! Considering Still feeling queasy here. Looking at food makes me feel sick. Haven't eaten since Wednesday night. Just drinking water

@Russkispy I had exactly the same as you yesterday. Can decide whether it was a big or something else? I have no idea if I've ovulated this month or what as I've tried not to as it gives me such bad anxiety temping and opk'n. So so bizarre xxx

went to bed at 8pm, totally drained! Slept till 2am and just woke up. Diarrhea stopped yesterday lunch and I had solid stool in the evening. Sick tummy/nausea stopped some time around 4am. Think I'm back to normal?! What was that all about then?!
And sorry to hear some of you're struggling with TTC and not coping well  it's just sh1t sometimes

@keebo it is totally crap and I 100% understand where you're coming from with this being the first thing you've kind of "failed" at. I'm the same, everywhere else in life I've found if you try hard enough you get results. I'm sorry you're having to deal with family bereavement on top of all of this. We're soon to go on holiday too, and I think I might need to take a break from Mumsnet, charting etc as it's really affecting my mental health now.

@strawberrye it's just crap isn't it? Sorry to be blunt! I feel in a total limbo where I desperately want to be pregnant but at the same time I'm so terrified of it I can't really ttc with the effort I know it needs. Maybe it sounds arrogant but the feeling of not being able to do something is totally new to me - in the past I've always just worked harder to make whatever I wanted actually happen. But this isn't knowledge or skills based and I'm floundering. We're going to Portugal which should be lovely but we're staying with friends who have kids so the reminder will be ever present. DH has decided that he'd rather we go away and 'have a holiday with no chance of a mc' (af just finished) than go to his grandma's funeral. I'm not sure that's the right decision but he's adamant. 2018 just needs to end. It feels like it's brought nothing but death.

@keebo sorry you're finding things hard, but I'm glad you've come to a decision about your referral. Where are you off to on holiday? I'm feeling really down at the moment too, coming to the end of this cycle and temp is dropping so no BFP again this month. Really feeling like this is never going to happen. I'm only 27 with no children and it all just seems so unfair.

Sorry for not responding to messages in a timely way, it's so hard to keep up. @knitkitty I'm sorry. It's heartbreaking. Acupuncturist sounds great. I was sceptical before my first appointment as acupuncture hasn't helped ailments for me in the past but I can feel changes whilst in each session and afterwards. I do think it has a huge impact and is a great way to nurture yourself with an hour of 'me time'.
@hayleyfx how confusing. I hope the docs are able to shed some light on what's going on.
@rachel321 welcome to a lovely, supportive thread. I'm sorry you're in this place but we all do our best to help each other here.
@InDreamLand what did the private clinic say? I'm calling a private gynea today. Finally the nhs referral arrived. My appointment is late Nov- I spoke to the gp in aug! Discussed it with dh last night and we agreed it's just too long to wait to get things started again. Especially as it then seems they'll be 6 weeks to wait for tests results. Maybe I'm just being inpatient but I don't think my mental health with survive it. This week's been really tough - mc1 due date would have been sometime now plus all the candles I found hard, more pregnancy announcements every day... It's all been a bit too much. Heading to some sunshine for a long weekend next week. I'm hoping some vit d and a holiday without a mc (last 2 were mid-mc and then mc started on holiday) will help me relax. @boboelephant I hope oz has been amazing!

@Angelbabyollie , really?! So early in 2ww?! I'm 42 and still feeling clueless about these things despite me having a DD of 16 months.
With her , I didn't have any symptoms! And was genuinely surprised when after doing blood test, it came positive! I was so naive back then! Makes me smile actually
My clinic told me to do blood test on Tuesday and Thursday, providing Tuesday shows positive.

@Russkispy sounds positive when u going to test? Am excited for u! Xx

And smelling food makes me feel sick!

Last night before bed was feeling sick. As in I wanted to throw up. Slept badly, was feeling sick and when got up had a diarrhea! All morning! And still feeling sick! Coming and going. But not vomiting. It wasn't anything out of ordinary for dinner last night. Pasta and green vegetables. I'm 7 days past IUI/ovulation. Don't even know what to think of it? What do you make of it?!

Well dr appointment has been made, for next Thursday. They were very confused when I phoned and explained my situation and said that they’ve never had this happen before... but said they’ll run checks on me next week and then take it from there. Who knows what’s going on with my body!! 🤦‍♀️ I tested again with a frer - still positive. Even more strange - I’m getting much stronger positives at night than in the morn? Weird. Still feeling exhausted and a bit sick.
Would it be worth phoning the EPU in the meantime for a bit of advice or will that be pointless? I just feel stuck in limbo and getting worried about what’s happening with my body & retained products. It’s never easy is it 🙄

@KnitKitty thanks for asking hun. So sorry you’re going through this again, it really is unfair. I feel the same that perhaps I need a break after all this. It’s so stressful. Do what’s right for you and either way, we’ll be here for you. Also your acupuncturist sounds great! X

@Melpops36 I totally understand, I felt like that the whole time being pregnant with Charlie. It’s natural. Just keep telling yourself that today you’re pregnant and that’s amazing! The chances are that your little bean is growing and is perfectly healthy!! Wishing you so much luck.

Welcome to newbies. Sorry you find yourselves here but this is a great bunch of ladies!

I also found it lovely to see how many people were lighting candles the other day. So many babies loved so dearly and will be remembered forever 💕

@Angelbabyollie they could be hopeful signs but I guess you don't know until you take a test? Also I seem to get high soft cervix and creamy discharge around 10-13dpo but then always AF arrives and not got a BFP in months. Keeping my fingers crossed its a good sign for you.