TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

@InDreamland oh hun I totally understand how you feel we where doing the same when found out baby wouldn't be coming home. It's just so hard to get your emotional brain around your loss even if logical brain is already there.
Fingers crossed af doesn't show up xx sending you big hugs

@Newbie21 and @lilimum5 just sending you lots of hugs. So sorry you're going through this all.

@boboelephant glad you had a good holiday!

@Russkispy fx for IUI!

@Mathsymummy @panapan sorry you find yourselves here.

I'm CD27, 11dpo and AF due tomorrow, not at all confident this will be the month, I can feel body is ready for AF to start. I seem to have spent a lot of time these past few weeks crying a lot and I just can't seem to think straight and am exhausted. I'm forgetting so much stuff that normally I'm so on the ball with. I'm just feeling overwhelmed. 16 weeks post mc and should now be 28 weeks and bloody Emma's diary and pampers (Emma's diary must have passed my details on) keep flipping reminding me ...... like I need more reminding! Since the mc I keep trying to unsubscribe but they seem to just ignore. How can I get them to stop emailing?

DH and I finished clearing out one of the spare rooms that was supposed to be baby's bedroom ........ it now actually looks like a proper bedroom rather than where we store boxes of just stuff. Just wish baby was still joining us.

@Newbie21 we are thinking of you hun and hoping for the best news possible.

I'm resting today but feeling very wiped out.

How long does it take to recover from erpc never had one before although I had nightmares last night that I'm now damaged and can't have a baby (nuts I know)

Think we might take a short break from ttc until after Christmas.

I just called the hospital for yesterday's blood results. The HCG levels have gone up by a very small amount. However, this isn't necessarily a good thing as it is strong sign of eptopic especially given the shoulder and neck ache I have been complaining about. Hospital is hoping to fit me in for a scan today. I'm waiting for them to call back. If they can't do today, then DH and I will go to the private scan in London. I'm so angry at the hospital but need to focus on making sure this gets worked out before anything ruptured if it is an eptopic.

@Lilimum5 so sorry to hear that it didn't go to plan. I hope the surgery went well though and that you can now focus on healing. You got this xx

@Newbie21 will be thinking of you today. I hope you get some answers - we're all holding out for good news for you. Xx

@Lilimum5 so sorry that it didn't go to plan. I hope you will be feeling a lot better - physically - very soon. I hope you are staying rested for a while and have people around you who can give you the support you need.

I have a private scan booked for lunchtime today. I am prepared for it being the worst news. I just need to know when it all happened if they are able to tell. DH will be with me. I feel better knowing I am having a scan.

@Newbie21 sorry you're having a horrible time, please know we are all there for you

Well ladies all did not go to plan after all. I've just got back from emergency surgery to remove everything else as my cervix closed to early and it mad me very poorly. Love to you all

Hi, please may I join?

Firstly, I’m so sorry for your losses and that you all find yourselves here. Hoping for lots of rainbow babies for you all.

I had a miscarriage in July at around 8/9 weeks. Initially they diagnosed it as ectopic, but then we had a glimmer of hope when a few days later another scan decided it wasn’t actually ectopic. However another week later they confirmed the baby had no heartbeat and I started to miscarry naturally the following day. It all took a long time and it was the end of September before my HGC levels came back down.

I convinced myself I was pregnant last month and was really sad when AF arrived. It brought back so many of the emotions of the MC. Both my pregnancies were conceived first month of trying (I have a 21 month old son) so I had unrealistic expectations.

I’m now on cycle day 21 so well into the TWW. Really hoping for good news this month!

@Boboelephant Glad you are feeling better, and glad you had a good holiday. Thanks for thinking of me! I'm in the down regulation phase of IVF where my own hormone production is being shut down. To be honest I'm feeling terrible at the moment, but hopefully that means the drugs are doing what they are supposed to do. Trying to stay calm and take things one step at a time but that's hard with my hormones all over the shop.

Thanks everyone.

@Yukka I’ve never had ‘regular’ length cycles they vary between 28 and 31 days and since my youngest was born they’ve been even more variable but my last cycle was the shortest I’ve ever had at 26 days so I don’t know where I am at the moment

Thanks ladies. midwife was surprised I hadn't had a scan by the EPU but also felt awkward that I was actually there given that I'd been told I was likely miscarrying. I told her EPU wanted me to have another blood test so she did the blood test and then got me to fill in the usual booking in form just in case all was ok and then booked me for an appointment next Saturday to complete the booking in if I haven't miscarried. Apparently it's all up to the EPU as to what they will do but she was suprised at 8 weeks they were relying on HCG levels as the indicator. So none the wiser. I can't get a private scan today everywhere is fully booked so I will try somewhere in Harley St tomorrow when I go to work.

@fnej01 so sorry to hear you had a third MC. Three since June must be so difficult. I'm glad to hear the GP referred you to St Mary's and they have responded already. Hope Jan brings you some answers. Also very exciting to have a wedding to plan! What a great distraction.
@Mathsymummy welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss. It is very difficult when what was previously easy becomes more difficult. I also fell pregnant with my DS and the next pregnancy immediately and constantly worry that the EP broke me. Unfortunately the fertile after MC applies to some but not to many. Mine was a year ago and nothing yet so don't be too hard on yourself.
@Yukka thank-you. Yep I'm trying to feel more relaxed (not sure I'm succeeding!) about the next two cycles as we are going to start IVF in Jan so just trying to get in shape for that. We have no reason why it's not working naturally but I'm not that confident anything will change before Jan so hopefully that is our answer. Glad to hear your body is getting back to normal. I'd love an ovulation on day 14!
@KnitKitty thanks hon. I'm glad that your referral is going ahead and I hope they can give you some answers. Also adoption is a wonderful thing to be able to do and requires such strength- you'd be perfect! Glad that you and DH are on the same page and at least you have options. As for what's going on now, I hope it becomes clear soon. Perhaps this is going to be your miracle.
@Russkispy good luck for your IUI!!!
@Newbie21 5 sounds ridiculous. Can you double check what the CCG policy is as I agree it doesn't sound like they are following the rules. Good luck today and I really hope they decide to give you a scan. Perhaps if you explain how anxious it is making you? Not sure about the oestrogen, maybe you could discuss it with an acupuncturist or similar?

@KnitKitty I know I was shocked when my GP told me that when I went to inform them about my CP. cos technically now this is MC no.3 if you count the CP. I'm going for my "booking in" today. They told me to keep the appointment and have another HCG test. I wish they would give me a scan so much. I will likely have to book a private one.

Does anyone on here have any issues with estrogen levels? My maternal grandmother had issues with it and had early menopause issues so naturally at 37 and 10 months I'm paranoid that this could be an issue. I do ovulate though so maybe I am just hopelessly trying to find answers.

@knitkitty it wouldn’t be impossible....would you consider doing a frer test? Or if you can the wait it out another couple of days anyway. It could be either.

My referall was a 6week wait @knitkitty though they were fairly quick with the appointment booking itself. I would contact them if you haven’t heard in a week or two xx

@Lilimum5 Well done lovely. I love that you see it as a birthday rather than a miscarriage day. I will try to do the same. I hope you're feeling recovered now, but still getting lots of rest and TLC.

@Newbie21 I'm so sorry to hear your news. Huge hugs. How are you doing? xxx Your NHS trust will only do tests after 5 miscarriages?? This doesn't seem right at all... I'm sure they're not following procedure.

@Russkispy Good luck tomorrow. Fingers crossed for the IUI. xxx

@Boboelephant Lovely to see you again. I'm glad you had a lovely time in Oz, but sorry you've been ill and AF showed up. Hugs! Thank you for your kind words.
I am confident I will be a mum some time in the next few years, but I'm not confident it will be my biological child. I let myself grieve properly this time and felt low for a while and let all my worries out, but being the practical person I am, I've already started researching adoption and thinking about it a lot so if I get bad news about my fertility I have something positive to look towards. OH and I have already agreed IVF isn't the right thing for us personally (for many reasons) and we have talked about adoption since we got together 7 years ago. It's made me feel a lot more positive again to have a back up plan.

@fnej01 I'm so pleased you've got the referral you asked for, and excited for you for your wedding in Feb! Giving yourself a break from TTC for a bit sounds like a good plan. But DO NOT feel guilty for continuing through the miscarriage. Sometimes that's the best thing you can do. I worked through two pregnancy losses too, which was right for my at the time. My most recent one I took time off but it's because everything got on top of me and work was the worst place for me at the time. If I worked somewhere nicer I would have still probably have gone. Good luck for the near future (January is speeding towards us!)

@Mathsymummy So sorry for your loss, but welcome. TTC isn't the same after MC. It comes with a lot more anxiety, and anything that doesn't seem 'normal' for you, you will over-analyse. Like you said, it is still early days, so don't worry. I've learned to ignore statistics... They only make sense if you're one of those "average" people. Good luck hun. Stay strong. xxx

So for my news. I got a letter from hospital saying they're aware I'm waiting for my RMC appointment and not to contact them as they are going to allocate me a slot as soon as they can... I guess it's good that I've had confirmation of the referral going through, but frustrating that I've not got an appointment yet.

Also, I had some brown spotting for a couple of days and then yesterday bled a bit followed by cramps and have had no bleeding again since. I'm only CD25 at the moment. The shortest cycle I've ever had up until now was 28 days. Could this be my period trying to start? I'm a bit worried because we had unprotected sex on CD12 or 13. The following day I had some pain on my right side, and now wondering if this was super early ovulation. I thought we were safe because I had only stopped bleeding from MC the day before we had sex. Is it possible this is pregnancy bleeding, do you think?
Really wish I could communicate with my womb to know what it was doing all the time. Sigh. So much for an anxiety free cycle of not trying...

@newbie22 so so sorry Hun. Dow did your appointment go? I would expect them to scan to support confirmation blood tests on their own aren’t enough. Depending how far you were though depends whether scan is helpful anyway, sometimes only time will tell. Hope you are ok xx

@meghanVO7 I started going to a proper class every Monday. Between that and the acupuncture I believe it’s helped a lot to get by body back to normal. This weekend looks like I have ovd on day 14 which it spot on for me normally. The trick is balancing out what we can’t see- hormones- and our emotional well-being affects it quite a lot more than we might realise.

@lilimum5 still thinking if you x

@boboelephant nice to see you back and feeling better. Not long new path starts for you xx

@fnej glad you got referred that’s great news. I can recommend Lesley Reagan’s book - shes the top consultant that runs st Mary’s clinic.its very insightful and will help set expectations for when you get there x

@mathsymumy sorry you find yourself here, hopefully you’ll find it helpful. Not sure on the truth if being more fertile, they say it because hcg hormone will remain in your body for some time after my but that doesn’t mean you will conceive any sooner it has no effect on conception at all. Are you having ‘normal’ Cycles since MC? If everything seems normal and regular then it’s probably just a matter of time for you. Mc is very very common - most women (like 95%) have healthy pregnancy next time after first mc xx

Hi

Hoping I can join you

I’m 30
TTC #3
Had an early Mc in July and have been trying since with no success

I’m frustrated as I know it’s not been that long but with ds1 (3 yo) and ds2 (21mo) and the mc we got pregnant first try each time so this is the first time it hasn’t happened. I keep worrying that the Mc has somehow broken me which I know sounds ridiculous but everyone keeps telling me you’re meant to be more fertile after a Mc and it seems the opposite for us

@Lilimum5 @Newbie21 my heart goes out to you both. Look after yourselves. This is so rubbish isn't it.

Thanks for all of those that sent me kind messages after my MC number 3, the other week. It's been a tough couple of weeks but am feeling a little better in the last few days. Thanks for the counselling tips, I was almost feeling guilty I had carried on with life. Have decided to leave the counselling for now but keep on review.

I just wanted to update on practicalities. I went to GP Thursday with a printout off of internet to say I wanted a referral to Tommy's research miscarriage at St Mary's. GP had never heard of it but quite happily did as I asked. I got a email yesterday from st Mary's, and appointment date of 15th Jan for investigations. I was very impressed how quick and easily it all happened. I realise appointment is a little way off but have had 3mc since June so my body needs a break. Am also booking wedding for 7th feb so will try again once married and tests back. Just thought I would share in case helps others x

@newbie21 I am so sorry 😐 xxxx

@Newbie21 I'm so sorry hun sending you love

Hi everyone, I haven't been on for about 3 weeks and have been trying to read back but there is so much to catch up on. For those that commented, thank-you I had a lovely time in Oz. My af arrived the day before we came back and then I got the flu so af, jetlag and illness resulted in me feeling very low and sad and just needed to take a break. Feeling more like myself again now so decided to rejoin you all.

@Newbie21 I'm so sorry love. I just read about your bfp and was so happy for you. Sending lots of hugs to you. It's so unfair.
@Lilimum5 my heart is also breaking for you. Sending so many hugs to you. I'm so sorry.
@Mostimproved I'm also so sorry that you're back as well. Hope you're doing ok.
@awakeatnight congratulations!! May the next 8 months be healthy and happy.
@TinyPaws how are you? How's the IVF going? Thinking of you.
@KnitKitty I'm sorry you've had such a tough time but glad to hear you are seeing RMC and your acupuncturist sounds great! I just saw a new lady on Wed who does acupuncture and shiatsu at the same time so we'll see how that works out. I remain convinced that you will be a mum and will always have everything crossed for you.

Sorry I can't comment on everyone but am thinking of you all. Special hugs to @Mistymeow and @strawberrye. @InDreamland thanks for asking after me. I hope you're ok and tww isn't too tough.

🐧❤🐧❤

@Russkispy I have been told to go for my scheduled booking in appointment at the hospital tomorrow and have another blood test then but i have already had 2 which has shown the drop.

Does anyone know if they always do scans or will they just wait until I miscarry? I want to know how far a long the baby got. It's only my second and my NHS trust requires 5 before they do tests.

Hi ladies haven't been on here for a while and just caught up. Sorry about BFNs and AFs. And congratulations to BFPs.
I'm all booked for IUI next week. Finishing Clomid on Sunday and scan is on Monday. This will be my last IUI. I know we've been incredibly lucky with IUI and I've got my beautiful baby girl. Sadly second IUI ended up in MMC. Last IUI didn't work and yet to see how this IUI pans out. I'm already discussing IVF. And will either start in December or January, providing this IUI is unsuccessful. In the meantime lots of acupuncture and reflexology. And lots of supplements. I've added DHEA to my mix. As per doc's recommendation. And of course I'm staying positive. Baby dust to us all!

@Newbie21 , so sorry to hear it! Would you go again for blood tests to see HVG levels? Or leave it to see what happens next?!