TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

Hi all. Sorry not been very good at keeping up.
@Lilimum5 and @Newbie21 so sorry to hear what you've been going through. Hugs.

Nice to hear from you @Boboelephant and @TinyPaws

Sorry to not respond individually-penguin hugs and baby dust to all.

I'm starting to worry a bit. Still waiting for first AF since losing bow. Can you guys see what you think of this? Stopped bleeding 6th Oct, negative test 14th Oct. had brown Cm/discharge (including a tiny bit of stringy clotty brown stuff like the end of a period, but very small amount) only really on wiping from 22 Oct till 28 oct. Can't imagine that it was my aF as there was so little come away. But still no sign of period, and no positive ovulation test at all. Cm is mostly watery and has been the past few days. We dtd Saturday. But the past couple of days my tum hasn't felt right. I feel heavy and a bit uncomfortable and bloated. Not pain as such just not right.

I'm starting to get worried about the not feeling right in the tum and the lack of positive ov/AF. Anyone else experienced this? I miscarried Bow naturally and a scan confirmed empty uterus 3rd October.

Should I be worried? Anyone experienced anything similar? Xxx

Evening all there’s a few newbies here so not caught up but just want to say I’m
Sorry you’re here. It’s a great group for support when you need it. There are no stupid questions or crazy feelings- it’s basically shit and we can help each other get through it.

@dimblebimble and @newbie21 re mc pain. Mine at 10weeks was really quite painful, felt like what I would imagine labour to feel like that got progressively worse and would ease after passing something then build up again. I went to a@e in the end and after review was given oral morphine to take home. Ask your dr/consultant for this if you’re worried as a back up if you want to wait it out before deciding for surgery.

@russkispy your cycle outcomes sound perfect.... keeping everything crossed for you - we’ll be testing around the same time.

@indreamland my cycles were totally weird after mc, seemed normal at first then I skipped a month ov but now seem back to normal (hopefully now 6 months since mc). Fingers crossed it could be a snuggling bean.

@laney79 and @strawberrye how are you both doing ladies?

As for me..chased hospital and blood results are with registrar for “interpretation” honestly I reckon I could do that myself by now. We’ll see what this month brings.

@InDreamland fingers crossed for when you're testing!

@InDreamland fingers crossed for when you're testing!

IUI all done. The dominant follicle on the left grew up to 22x23mm! And on the right, 1 of them grew up to 17mm. That's a massive change from yesterday (right side). Lining was measured at 11.5. All looking good. dH's sample was very good too! Testing at 11/12dpiui.

@Newbie21 last time just had to do a pregnancy. Test at 3 weeks after mc starts. And let epu know if it was - ve or +ve. If positive I would be booked for a scan. Same this time I have to do one 21st November and let them know. I'm not sure if they do this with the wait and see approach. Maybe you could do that anyway for peace of mind.

Hi @Lilimum5 I'm doing ok. I went back to work today. Find it easier to keep busy than to constantly google what if scenarios. I also went to see an OB (the one who performed by previous D&C) to ask his thoughts on next steps - benefits of doing any chromosome testing, whether there was anything else I can do in the future to improve chances, whether IVF should be a consideration at this stage etc. He basically said that I could get the chromosome tests and it would tell me the problem, if any with that embryo but he said it wouldn't change what I would need to do so it was up to me whether I felt like I needed to know. He also said that my problem was not getting pregnant so at this stage he didn't think iVF was the way to go. He said, as sad though it is, it really sounds like it is just one of those things. I am one of the unlucky ones - nothing I could do about it but he did say that I obviously seem to be getting pregnant quite easily which is a positive thing. I am older so egg quality may be a factor but I am ovulating regularly and have regular cycles (usually) so I have reasons to stay positive. It was a helpful discussion. I feel a bit more rational about things although it still really sucks and I am still waiting for the full extent of the grief to hit me.

I need to have a think about whether to have a d and c or to wait it out. I don't want it to be really painful. I know everyone's experience is different but does anyone know if where the gestational sac is empty that this means the loss will be less physically painful or whether there could still be big clots so doesn't make much difference? I am also worried about tissue remaining and getting an infection. My OB said to make sure I get a scan a week or two after I miscarry to ensure that it is all clear - does the NHS do that as a matter of course or do they just wait for a problem before checking?

Hi @boboelephant. Thank you, I will be on holiday soon, fly out on the 17th! Really need this break, worked out should be in fertile week when we're away. Thanks for letting me know, I think I will email as they obviously ignore requests to unsubscribe. It's horrible seeing those emails every week. I feel like I am going to come on so not testing yet, I could come on this evening still. The one and only time I have been pregnant I was already 12 days late by the time I tested as didn't want the usual disappointment. Think I'll just wait it out. I do have a FRER and a CB test early tests though so if AF does stay away I could test. Think body is just messing with my mind because I cleared out the spare/baby's bedroom. It's exciting you're planning IVF now, fingers crossed it works for you!

@TinyPaws sorry that you're feeling rubbish but hopefully it is a good sign of things to come. 🤞🤞 When is your EC?
@Panapan sorry for your loss and hope it's it's good news for you this cycle.
@InDreamland so sorry you're struggling. Sounds like you need a good holiday! As for Emma's diary, someone I know emailed them telling them off and how hurtful their constant emails are after unsubscribing and they were quick to rectify. Ooh just saw your update. Fingers crossed!!! Will you test?
@Lilimum5 sorry you needed to have the ERPC. So many ladies who used to be on here who have graduated had them and are happily pregnant so try not to worry. I was ok after mine, a bit sore and tired for 2 days but no bleeding. Just rest and be kind to yourself.
@KnitKitty thankyou. Yeah it's a big step and I'm not sure what to expect. I feel like we can't wait anymore though. It's now been more than 2 years that we've been trying so definitely feels like something needs to change! Let's hope its our happy ending! How are you feeling today? I have everything crossed this one works out for you!
@Mistymeow hi buddy! Nope don't mind you asking. We've had to go private as we are not eligible as have my DS. So it's an expensive option but at least the service is great- silver linings! Hope you get seen very soon 🤞
@Newbie21 sorry it sounds like another MC but so glad it's not ectopic.
@Dimblebimble welcome and sorry for your loss. Most women go on to have healthy pregnancies after MC so hopefully this will be the case for you. At 29 you still have plenty of time. Some journeys are hard and long and some quicker but we are all here for support.
@SJR86 sorry you find yourself here. I had an ERPC, no bleeding and AF about 5 weeks later.
@Russkispy how exciting!!! How'd today go??

Rather confused today ......... so had that brown spotting lastnight which was AF arriving, or so I thought as due on today. This morning nothing on pad or when I wiped. It's 4:30pm and still nothing! Od this post mc AF cycle up the spout thing? 3 AFs since mc have been on time.

@Newbie21 just wondering how your doing hun x

@Dimblebimble you really are not a wimp. When my MMC was diagnosed I panicked about the bleeding starting and the pain and what I would see. I couldn't deal with any of that and opted for a d&c which I am very relieved about in hindsight. Everyone is different and all experiences different. I'll be honest labour is no walk in the park and after mine I vowed never again. 4 months later I started chatting to DH about baby no. 2 - it's totally different when the reward is looking up at you each day xx

@SJR86 I'm so sorry you find yourself here. It's so sad that we seem to have so many newbies these past few days.

@Dimblebimble I agree with @KnitKitty, I was one of the ones who have 4 hours of 'labour' pains without a baby to hold at the end. It was the worst pain I've ever felt! Definitely take the time you need to heal from this.

@Russkispy that sounds so promising! Keeping fingers and toes crossed for you!

@KnitKitty thank you. AF tried to start last night, tiny bit of brown spotting as it normally starts but this morning nothing on pad or when I wiped but fully expecting to start on full flow today. I hope that for you it's all a good sign and you have a sticky one! Just have to try and distract yourself for a few days (easier said than done). I didn't get too much increased burping when I was pregnant but I got a serious amount of increased gas! Whoever said pregnancy makes you glow and feel all feminine lied! It was awful trying to discreetly pass wind like constantly!

@Mistymeow I didn't take another urine test after the last blood test showed the HCG had gone down to 13. But that was more than 20 days ago now.
Sorry to hear you're feeling disheartened. I totally understand. Dealing with irregular cycles just makes everything harder still. I'm pleased you've had a positive OPK though. Did the docs say your DH should be a bit more fertile from this month onward? Is he having more tests to check how things are progressing? Fingers crossed for you lovely. xx

@Lilimul5 Yes, you should definitely quality. I've just been referred and am waiting for an appointment to come through, will keep you posted about how everything goes.

@Newbie21 I'm so sorry. Hugs xxx (But silver lining that it wasn't ectopic... I'm pleased you won't need any complicated surgery)

I'm sad to see there's a few newbies here.
So sorry for your losses @Dimblebimble and @SJR86. SJR, my period took 5 weeks to appear after ERPC. I was told anything up to 8 weeks is normal.

@Dimblebimble You're not a wimp. A colleague of mine who has two children and then had a miscarriage said the pains felt exactly like labour pains which shocked her. A lot of people on here have said the same. They don't prepare you for how much pain it can be (although some women lose their pregnancy without any pain, it's different for everyone.) And remember, when you're giving birth to a healthy full-term baby, the joy of becoming a mum makes it all worth while, and the pain relief is a lot better.
Don't rush into trying again if you don't feel ready. Even if you have a plan for the future you feel you must stick to; giving yourself time to heal and grieve now will help in the long run. Be patient with yourself.

@InDreamland Thanks chicken, but I'm not feeling hopeful. I hope you have a good day today. Look for all the little things that make you smile. xx

@Russkispy My goodness your head must be spinning! All looks like good news so far. Keep up with the acupuncture! Good luck for today! Sending calming vibes and baby dust your way!

So I only had a very small amount of brown spotting yesterday and felt slightly crampy towards the end of the day again. Also burping a bit more than usual (a pregnancy sign for me... I don't know anyone else who has had this, but it seems to be my norm), and just feeling a bit more tired and hungry. Going to try and get through these next few days to the weekend and may test on Saturday if AF hasn't started yet. Not buying any tests before then though. Still kicking myself for allowing this to happen; I know how it's all going to end.

@SJR86 sorry you find yourself here. I had a D&C at 11 weeks, baby measured 8weeks. I bled for nearly 2 weeks after and got +ve HPTs for about 2 weeks too. My next period came about 5/6 weeks after D&C. I had a bit of spotting a few days before it started.

Sounds super promising @Russkispy Hope today goes well.

Crazy day yesterday. Had my scan yesterday, and there are 5 follicles on the right and 5 on the left! That never happened before! Not only that, but I have a dominant follicle on the left that is already 20mm! So they did a trigger right there and then! And that was cd10! The rest of the follicles are around 7-10mm which is normal for cd10. And scheduled IUI for today, cd11 and I'll be ovulating on cd12. Lining is around 7.5mm which is also normal size. So they put an Estramon patch on my tummy. These are for lining growth. My head is spinning. We were planning it all for Friday/Saturday! So had to call my DH at the appointment to tell him the news and change his flight for today! Thankfully IUI is at 6pm so he'll get here in time, and fly back home next day. Asked doctor why I had so many follicles in the first place. Only ever had 2 on either side. And why 1 is already 20mm on cd10! She told me it might be down to DHEA I started taking!? But I've only been taking it for 5 days! 75mg a day. Again this is all new to me and our bodies will never cease to amaze me! I had acupuncture straight after the scan to calm and distress. Curious to see what today brings when I go for IUI. More acupuncture booked for after IUI. My DD is here with me and my doc/nurses love seeing her growing. She was my true IUI baby miracle "conceived" at my clinic. I was 40 then. Let's just hope this time works. And if not, I've got IVF lined up which we discussed yesterday too.

Hi,
Hope it's ok if I join? I had an early scan last week at 11.5 weeks after some spotting, scan showed just an empty sac. They diagnosed a MMC.
I had an MVA l two days later (last Wednesday) and bleeding has just about finished.
I have been doing a lot of research (mostly google!) about how soon my next AF is likely to start again and wondered if some of you would mind sharing what your experiences have been?

@KnitKitty I really hope this could be the start of a little bundle of joy for you! Keeping fingers crossed for you x

@lilimum5 thank you. It's such a rubbish thing to have to deal with, really messes with the head. I hope you're getting lots of rest and being taken care of! A consultant gynae told me that to be referred for rmc investigations you have to have had 3 mc's but not sure if that varies between Trusts. I don't really know much about it.

@Newbie21 I'm so sorry it looks like it's happening again but glad it's not ectopic. Hope you're also getting looked after.

@Mistymeow thanks lovely. Counselling is ok but I think only time can really help. I just have to take each day at a time. I hope that this month amongst the cycle signs being confusing (hope that makes sense - rubbish at articulating at the moment) that this month is your month!

@Dimblebimble sorry you find yourself here.

Hi everyone, can I join please?

Ttc number 1 and just had a mmc, spotted at 9.5 weeks when I had some bleeding.

I had the surgery under local anaesthetic on Friday, but I was already 80% through the miscarriage by the time I had it and was in so much pain. Now terrified to ttc again because I'm not sure I can go through another miscarriage or through labour. Think I just have a really low pain threshold/am a wimp (I wasn't even at the pushing stage, I think the pain was just my cervix dilating).

But I've just turned 29 and we would like 2-3 children, so we don't want to delay things any further! It took us 8 months to conceive the first time, really hope it doesn't take that long (or longer!) again...

Looking forward to hearing about everyone's ttc journeys ☺️

@Newbie21 where I'm glad it's not ectopic and sad for you that it's another miscarriage. Really big hugs sent to you. Take care of your self. Xx

@Lilimum5 I don't know much about it but given your history I would have thought so. I'm sure some of the other ladies on here can tell you.

I had my scan. Not eptopic fortunately but the gestational sac was empty and given I'm at least 7.5 wks pregnant (although LMP 8w+3 but ovulated late) and up and down HCG it's virtually definitely another MC but I have to go back next week. I'm sad but relieved I have seen what is going on in there if that makes sense.

Thanks to you all for your support.

Ladies would I qualify for a referral to rmc I've had a natural mc, a cp and two mmc in two years. If so what should I expect.

@Newbie21 I am so sorry to hear your news. I'll be thinking of you today and will check in later to see if you've posted. Lots of love.
@Lilimum5 Oh no, that's awful that there were complications. I hope you are ok and recovering? I had an ERPC and recovered fairly quickly, just some spotting for about a week and within two weeks I had a BFN.
@Mathsymummy sorry for your loss. As others have said it isn't necessarily true for everyone that you are more fertile, but it's a good sign that you already have children and I am sure everything is fine with your fertility. I know how hard it is to want that baby so badly after suffering a loss but we are all here for you x
@Panapan sorry you find yourself here. Got everything crossed that this is your month!
@InDreamland that sucks that you are receiving emails still, definitely contact them asking to be taken off their list. How are your counselling sessions going?
@Boboelephant hey buddy, nice to hear from you. Glad you had a good trip, bad luck on the flu. Hope you don't mind me asking but are you going for private IVF or NHS? We have been referred to UCH but still waiting for the letter.
@KnitKitty you sound a lot like me. We also knew about fertility issues when we got together, and adoption is on the cards. It's good to have lots of options on the table, it makes me feel positive that I will be a mum. I totally get why you aren't testing, I don't test early either because I would rather not know about chemicals, too upsetting. Have you already had a BFN from the last cycle? I'm sorry you are getting spotting, but I hope this has a happy ending. Will be thinking of you.

I had a really strong positive opk 3 days ago on cd17. I'm cd20 and still no temp rise but I've had bad cramps since af (but not all the time). I still don't understand. My cycle was 24 days last month and goodness knows how long it will be this month. Feeling disheartened.

@Yukka Thanks hun. 6 weeks isn't so bad. They specifically said not to bother contacting them until I hear from them. It's only been 2 weeks since the referral, so I'm not desperate. Will try to be patient.

@Newbie21 I'm so sorry you're going through all this. I hope you get some answers today. Stay strong. We're here for you!
And I wouldn't worry about the oestrogen levels... I think the fact you've got pregnant (even if it's not a successful one ) shows your hormone levels are decent, but if the worst happens maybe see your GP again and use this family history and your age as a push for a referral. I don't see how they can refuse! I'm fuming on your behalf about how shoddy the NHS in your area seems to be with all this. At least your midwife sounds nice.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed there's some sort of miracle going on for you, but I'm also sending you massive supportive hugs, because I know in times like this hope goes out the window. xxx

@Boboelephant starting IVF in Jan must be a mixed bag of emotions! I would say I'm excited for you, but I know IVF is not an easy route and nerve-wracking, so I will say I am hopeful for you instead! January is not far away now!
Yes, adoption certainly isn't for the faint hearted and I have a lot of worries about it, but I also feel really good about it. One of OH's friends growing up was adopted so it's quite normalised for him, and when we got together I told him about my possible fertility issues so adoption was discussed early on. We had already discussed our second child being adopted if we managed to have our first biologically anyway. And going through all this trying for our first, I don't think I'd want to do it all again a second time round now either!

@Tinypaws I'm sorry you're feeling so rubbish, but I hope the fact it's all for a good cause is helping you get through it. I really hope it's a successful transfer. I have my fingers, toes, legs and eyes crossed for you!

@Panapan so sorry for your loss, and welcome to the group. It's such a frustration when HCG takes so long to go down, but I hope it gave you grieving time. I hope you get your rainbow soon xxx

@Lilimum5 So sorry things didn't got as planned. I'm glad you got seen quickly though as things can turn nasty pretty quickly. I hope you didn't find the surgery too traumatic as I know you wanted to avoid it. Rest well.
I felt back to normal about 2 or 3 days after my ERPC, although still a bit tired.

@InDreamland Sending hugs xxx I felt like my brain had gone to mush when I was feeling very emotional after MC too. I think it's normal.

Well as for me; only had a small amount of brown spotting yesterday. So far nothing today. And I've not had any more cramping. The only other times this has happened was when I was pregnant, and I've never had a successful pregnancy so I'm just bracing myself for the proper bleeding to start. I don't feel like testing as I'd rather just let nature run its course to be honest.
It could still be my body just being weird after MC too, I guess... But I haven't experienced this before so I don't know.

@InDreamland as for the emails I had to reset the account and then block the emails (you can unblock in the future) but the first few cut deep don't they. If all that fails you could email pampers and Emma's diary directly it might work