TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

@InDreamland that's definitely BFP! Massive and tentative congratulations!! Everything crossed for you!!

@Laney79 I've used the Tesco ones before. Not bad for £3.50 for a pack. I might pick some up tonight. I also found be the dad be on the CB OPKs. I use the one with O, flashing smiley and static smiley and find that the lines when I eject the stick don't look that strong when it's static smiley. So you're not alone.

I've never used the cb pregnancy tests-just frer's and cheap ones from Tesco/B&M.

Can I ask for those using opks - I'm using internet cheapies and the clear blue digital that just gives you empty circle and static smiley (the pink one). Did the clear blue test this am and got static smiley (huge relief) but when I ejected the stick the lines on the test didn't look positive at all-one was deffo fainter. I know you're not meant to look at the lines but could this mean it's a false positive? Hoping not as I felt so much better thinking my body was starting to kick in again xxx

Thanks @Laney79 I will definitely test again Sunday if AF doesn't arrive. I have 1 CB left then that's my stash of tests all used up. It's this CB one.

@InDreamland that's definitely a line! Congrats! Fingers crossed for a sticky bean! I'd test again on Sunday see how the line is doing it test on a non frer (I tested on a frer and then 5 days later on a normal test and got BFP S on both) xxx

The lighting is a bit better with this one. DH is away for work so I've noone to talk to.

Oh @Melpops36 I'm so sorry. I've had the same this year-two mmcs. One diagnosed March measuring 3.1mm, one sept measuring 4.2mm. I should have a newborn now or be almost 16 weeks. Its so so hard. Sending you the biggest hug in the world. My only advice would be do whatever you feel you need to-cry, shout, be alone, ask for company/hugs, do or don't go to work. I also begged for help from my gp and I'm now under a consultant and have some bloods done as I was so concerned my losses could be due to clotting issues. They could see it was badly affecting my mental health and at my age agreed to do some investigation. It's s**t and so bloody unfair-my heart aches for you xxx

Ladies can you see a line? Are my eyes seeing this right?

Caved this morning and tested as AF still didn't show over night. Of you can see it isn't it a bit faint for 14dpo?

@Melpops36 I'm so so sorry! This is so sad! Sending you lots of hugs x

@Melpops36 I'm so very sorry. I'm in a similar position. My second scan is on Monday. Although I am starting to get quite a bit of pink discharge so maybe I will miscarry this one naturally. I'm feeling quite numb at the moment. It's my due date for the first one I lost on Sunday. It's a very difficult week. I wish so much that everyone was wrong. I hope you are getting the love and support you need right now.

@Melpops36 oh I'm so sorry. I feel very much the same as you. I too have had my 2nd mmc this year, its truly the most painful thing to go though. We're all holding your hand. If you need a chat please feel you can contact me.

Had a scan today at 7 weeks. Baby is measuring 5w 5days but no heartbeat. Sonographer is confident it’s another MMC. Fetal pole 4mm. Told to come back in a week but everyone convinced I’ve lost another. 2 MMC in 6 months. Still throwing up and feel like shit. I’ve really had enough.

Thank you @Russkispy @Laney79 @KnitKitty and @mistymeow. Body is still playing with my mind. Think AF trying to start properly again. A little more brown spotting on a liner this afternoon and I'm sure I saw a little pink when I wiped but nothing more. I just don't feel anything else like how I felt in May when I was pregnant but just didn't know and thought I was having particularly bad premenstrual symptoms that month then thought I was starting early menopause. I am sure AF is on its way ...... to ruin my weekend plans.

@Laney79 I think it's so understandable that you want to know what is going on with your body given what you (and all of is) have been through. It's natural to feel the way you do. I too worry about my age, will be 39 in 4 months. How when you have your consultants appointment you get answers and also your mind put at ease that you are still perfectly ok for having a baby.

@Russkispy really think this will be your month!

@KnitKitty I'm glad you have lots to keep you busy. Great plan to do a last-minute trip away. Hope that AF still first come and then when you test it's good news! Still keeping fingers crossed for you!

@Lilimum5 I just want to wrap you up in cottonwool! I am having counselling sessions, had quite a few now. I do find it useful to be able to talk through exactly how I feel in a safe space. My counsellor seems to understand exactly how I think and feel. She also reminds me that it is ok to not be ok and that it will take me many many months, even years to learn how to cope with the grief and that my thoughts and feelings are natural and normal. Of course I'm still very sad and emotional but at least I don't feel guilty about my feelings now. I would say definitely look into it and give it a go. I initially went to NHS Healthy Minds who referred me onto Petals. I think you might be able to self refer to Petals. I hope you can get the support you need. You've been through so much x

Can i ask you ladies about the counciling if you had it and if it really does help. I'm feeling so hopeless today, my body feels broken and I don't know what to do with my self. It might be because everything was on the same day (wedding anniversary, due date and 12 weeks scan) and it was the worst news and I'm over whelmed with the emotions. I thought I was handling it better this time, but it seems not.
Not to mention the erpc has done me in I'm so very sore and feel useless. I spoke to epu about feeling so sore and she said that it's because I have a very tilted womb and there was so much still in there.

I know time will help but right now I'm so sad.

Thanks for listening to my rant xx

Period turned up today on cd26. So my last two cycles have only been 25 days, which given I don’t seem to ovulate until day 16 pretty much sucks 😞

Thanks @Yukka @Newbie21 @Boboelephant I feel a bit better about it after hearing that other people found it painful too. I'm still bleeding atm. We are going to try again immediately as it took us a while least time. I'd really like to be pregnant again by next may, when the baby would have been due, would make it a lot more bearable. Can't decide whether we'll start once I stop bleeding or wait until my first proper period.

Sorry, haven't had a chance to catch up on everyone's posts yet, work is manic 🙈

@Newbie21 I had an empty sac and I experienced about 2 hours of strong cramps in the night but they eased off a great deal when I passed tissue. I felt much better after some paracetamol. I did need an ERPC as the miscarriage didn't complete, but at almost ten weeks pregnant I would say that I could handle the pain. I even painted the garage, it was a good distraction! The NHS should do a follow up scan to check everything has completed. Don't worry, they will keep a very close eye on you. I hope you're doing ok, really feel for you xx
@Russkispy so glad your IUI went well! I don't know much about IUI, it all sounds promising. Got everything crossed!
@Boboelephant that's exciting! We may go private if we don't have any joy next year with the NHS IVF, as time is ticking. A part of me is hopeful that DH's treatment will work and we will conceive naturally, but I'm prepared for anything really.
@KnitKitty yes that's right, he will have a sperm test this month and get his testosterone levels checked. It could take up to 6 months for the treatment to cause an improvement but they are hopeful it will be sooner because he was already on treatment 6 months ago, so his body may adjust quicker. I'm sorry about the spotting. I wonder perhaps this is from the previous chemical, since your hormone levels hadn't fully dropped. It's probably best not to dwell that it could be another chemical, you have been through enough. It's great you have lots of positive things coming up to focus on. We totally lose faith in our bodies when we lose a baby, but I am hopeful when you see the doctor that they will reassure you, and be able to do something. I think you will have a baby :)
@indreamland I am tentatively hopeful but I totally get why you are not testing. Any more signs? Cramps?
@Laney79 sorry that your body hasn't settled, it's so frustrating because all you want to do is move on. It does sound like af will arrive soon. It's good that you have the consultant appointment to aim for, it feels better to have a plan. I'm sure everything will settle soon x

@InDreamland It's possible it was implantation. It can take a few days after that for symptoms to start and for HCG to rise high enough to be detected. I have my fingers crossed for you!!!

@Laney79 I was wondering how you are. It sounds to me like you possibly might be having an anovulatory cycle. I had one in August (I think). I felt really bloated and 'not right' the second half of the cycle and kept getting weird spotting and CM and my cycle was much longer than normal. I felt such relief when AF finally showed up, and next cycle was back to normal. It is normal not to ovulate every so often. Remind yourself that's just your anxiety making you worry about menopause and there's no actual reason to believe this. xxx

@Yukka It's so frustrating having to wait for test results. I hope they don't make you wait for much longer.

@Boboelephant Yes, two years is plenty long enough! I'm feeling really hopeful for you for the IVF.
It's coming up to a year since we started trying now, so feeling a bit despondent. I've stopped feeling pregnant. Still getting brown spotting. I'm just expecting AF to start any time now. CD28 at the moment, been spotting for 6 days so far. I had a tiny glimmer of hope brewing, thinking as I got pregnant by accident this time (assuming I am/was, but I know myself and I'm 98% sure) maybe it was just a determined little bean and it would all work out this time against the odds; but all hope has gone out of the window with lack of symptoms. I think something implanted and then just gave up; like the others. Trying to brush it off and just look towards the RMC referral and wait for next year, and hoping it's a better year than this one. I'm bridesmaids dress shopping with my sister and her other bridesmaid at the weekend and have 9 days off after Friday. OH and I are going to go on a little last-minute jaunt somewhere; and there's Christmas and my family's birthday season to plan for, so lots to be distracted by. You just have to keep plodding on, don't you?

Thanks @InDreamland - I'm not very patient and I feel really unsettled. Even if I don't get af if I could get a positive opk at least I'd know things are working. At my age (39) my fear is the 2nd MMC will kickstart early menopause. I'm a bit of a control freak and I really struggle being so helpless. I've been taking pregnacare pre conception, high dose folic acid and 300mg co enzyme q10 since I got the bfn. Got three weeks till my consultant appt and my blood test results.

In terms of you, I don't want to get your hopes up but when I fell with bow I had brown discharge around 9/10dpo was certain it was AF gearing up...got my BFP 15dpo. So I'll keep everything crossed for you xxx

@InDreamland thank you! With both of my tww I haven't had one symptom! So hang in there and test when you feel is right!
Asked doctor about DHEA intake during tww. She said pregnant women don't take DHEA! Well, let's just hope I am this cycle!
If BFN, will restart DHEA
Away for acupuncture 😉 have a good everyone!

@Newbie21 good to hear you have managed to get back to work and feeling more rational about things. I hope that you still have lots of love and support around you. It's such a shit time.

@Russkispy wow that all sounds so promising! This is your month, it's got to work when it all sounds so positive. Is there a chance of twins? Thanks I'm not testing just yet, going to wait a few more days.

*@Yukka thank you, I am trying to remain realistic. This post mc cycles confusion is such a head f*k. Hope you get answers for your tests very very soon, how annoying you have to wait when you know they have the results.

@Laney79 sorry you're still waiting for first full AF. There's so many possible scenarios as @Yukka said that I agree and would say of you're still worried next week then go to your GP. I hope AF turns up for you and you can start TTC again.

As for me this morning ........AF still not turned up. Nothing since the brown spotting on Monday night. Only 1 day late though so I will not test yet. Can't handle the disappointment. I don't feel pregnant at all. I'm only CD29 and 13dpo.

@laney79 Completley understand. It’s really hard. I’m sure you are probably fine and it’s just taking time. Perhaps see what happens this week and if you’re still worried call the gp. It does sound a bit like you’re gearing up for a bleed.

With my early mcs I knew body would get back to normal quite quickly but with the later one it really did screw things up 😕 hate being at the mercy of something we can’t control xx

Thanks @Yukka

Started opks the day after my negative preg test (they were showing positive with the hcg when I tried before I got bfn) - I did miss a couple of days during the brown discharge week, but after losing bean earlier in the year my LH surges lasted a good 12-24 hours and tests got darker for a day before/stayed darker fir a day after so pretty confident I haven't ovulated. I was hoping the discharge week might've been my body trying to have a period, but if so Idve expected ov last fri/sat (usually get positive opk around cd13).

I've not got a temp or any smelly discharge but still feel worried. I just want to feel normal as I can again so we can try again. I just have this overwhelming need to be pregnant again x

@laney79 thanks for ranting I hear you and agree! So snnoying.

It could be that you missed ov ( when did you test as I missed my first one after mc) and are building up for af, or, if you didn’t ov the oestrogen will continue to rise until eventually it collapses which will cause a period of sorts... usually lighter /thinner /less clotty bleed than normal af. So in theory either way you will have a bleed in a matter of time and hormones reset.

Or, you haven’t ovd just yet, which if we classed your last funny discharge as a bleed that could be right and you are due to ov soon.

Sorry.....lots of scenarios. But if you don’t feel right or feel unwell, call the gp in case xx

Hi @Yukka -frustrating about your results. I do wish they'd be more open, give us lists of what tests they are doing and what the results are. Surely with today's tech you should be able to have an app, fingerprint access only with your medical record/tests listed on. I appreciate you may need a doctor to interpret properly but these tests are about you-surely you should have access to them! Sorry-rant over xx