TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

Went to the nurse today but she was quite dismissive of my worries. She did take blood to check my thyroid but I think more because she felt she had to do something than for a reason.

She did say if we’re still trying in two months I can go in and see the doctor.

She brought up my weight and was quite dismissive when I said that I was actually lighter than when I conceived both my sons 🤷‍♀️

Thank you ladies for your kind words.

Since this mmc I've been thinking about my ageing eggs. I've read online about q10 and wondered how it helps and if any of you ladies use it. When do you use it, all the time or just running up to ovulation?

Just think maybe I'm laying doggy eggs.

Welcome to the newbies @panapan @Dimblebimble SJR86, sorry you find yourselves here but a more supportive bunch you could not meet anywhere.

@Lilimum5 Sorry you had complications, hope you're feeling better now.

@KnitKitty How are you doing? Have you been given a recurrent miscarriage clinic appointment yet?

@Newbie21 So sorry to hear about your scan results, how are you holding up?

@Dimblebimble I don't think you are a wimp, my medically managed miscarriage was the most physically painful experience of my life, I passed out on the floor and I'm not usually a wimp when it comes to pain, I've had both jaws surgically broken and reset with only paracetamol post op and walked around on a broken foot for a month. I'm also a bit scared of not being able to handle labour if I can't handle a miscarriage, but I've also heard that for some women a miscarriage is as painful as labour, only without a baby to hold at the end (and without any decent pain relief either!).

@Russkispy That's interesting about the DHEA! I will consider it if this cycle is BFN and I get a poor response to stims, difficult to predict how I'll respond as I'm youngish and seem to have a normal amount of antral follicles, I've previously been told I have PCOS but my AMH is low for age. Good luck on your IUI cycle, when will you be testing?

@Boboelephant How are you doing lovely? Are you planning IVF for January?

@Laney79 That's a bit weird as you've had a negative test. Could be your body still settling down?

@InDreamland Huge congratulations! Keeping everything crossed for a healthy pregnancy for you.

@Melpops36 I'm so sorry, that's really shit.

@Clumsykitten Sorry you're feeling so low, I'd push for both fertility investigations and miscarriage investigations, that way hopefully you'll get at least one lot of help!

Sorry to all the ladies I haven't mentioned - even though I'm a bit quiet I'm reading along and rooting for you all!

As for me, I'm part way through a long protocol IVF cycle. I had a scan yesterday which showed that down regulation has worked (much to my relief, as the down regulation drugs were making me feel terrible!). I started stims yesterday and have further scans booked in next week. I won't know the outcome of the cycle for another month or so, just trying to take things one step at a time. I've self referred to the local NHS mental health services as I keep having flashbacks to events surrounding the miscarriage, but I haven't heard anything yet. I'm trying to eat a healthy high protein diet, taking supplements for egg quality and meditating daily. Keep swinging between being convinced this cycle is going to work and reminding myself projected IVF success rates are well below 50%.

Congratulations @InDreamland! I remember seeing your story on some of the miscarriage boards as we miscarried at around the same time. I'm so pleased for you.

I'm on CD 26 today, of a 29 day cycle. DH and I have agreed that I'll take a FRER tomorrow morning as we are busy during the day so we'll have stuff to take our mind off it if it is negative. It's so hard waiting. I keep second-guessing every feeling!

@Melpops36 I'm so sorry about the scan. This truly, utterly sucks. Big hugs xxx

@InDreamland wow! I'd say that's a confident line if the start of the brown spotting was implantation. (Brown spotting is very common and normal in early pregnancy and most of the time nothing to worry about). I totally agree with what others have said, test again with the ClearBlue on Sunday and then don't test again after... Comparing lines just causes unnecessary stress. Tentative congratulations. I know your head will be all over the place now, and after loss getting a BFP isn't the same, but just take each day at a time, focus on the fact you're pregnant! Let them know about the pregnancy before the scan. xx

@Russkispy Fingers crossed for you. xxx

@Boboelephant I'm doing ok thanks. The bleeding got heavier a couple of days ago so I think I'm in a new cycle now, but not sure what day to class it as starting on. Just focusing on distractions and hoping my body is having a good clear out... Although the bleeding is all still brown/browny red even though it's heavier so doesn't really feel like a period and it comes and goes. I think my body is just really confused and needing a break. I really wish I'd been more careful this cycle. But I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. Booked our mini-trip last night. Off to the lake district on Monday for some rainy walks and pub lunches.
Are you doing anything in particular to prepare your body for IVF?

@Laney79 Clearblue digital says not to read the stick itself as an OPK and only go by the smiley face, so sounds like you have ovulated. Hope everything gets back on track now.

@Clumsykitten I'm sorry you're having such a rough time lovely. It's totally understandable. I think a trip to the GP may be in order. You can ask them what they think RE trying for two years, two miscarriages and how it's affecting your mental health.
I also went through blaming myself for being too stressed with work, but every professional I have spoken to and Dr Google have all said there's no scientific evidence that stress causes miscarriage. Just think of all the thousands of women who carry successful pregnancies through stress! But, of course it's not a nice thing to live with and can cause other health problems, so reducing stress will be beneficial if you can.
I don't think making yourself stop crying is the best option at the moment. These feelings obviously need to come out. Can you take a few days off to let yourself wallow?
Exercise and nice distractions (ie not work distractions) work best for me to lift my mood. Nice walks, nice meals, dancing in the kitchen/living room, shopping, movie night in with a take-away, pampering session, hair cut, a trip out somewhere, doing a hobby you like etc...

Thank you @coffeist and @Laney79. Had tiny bit of brown spotting on liner again this evening, very worried this one will not stick too. I popped my dates into the NHS calculator and I cannot believe it but if it's accurate the due date is exactly 1 year to the day of my mc in July.

@Laney79 sending you lots of hugs. You and your DH have been through a really difficult time. You can both get through this together. It is good news that you know you are ovulating and your body is returning to normal x

@InDreamland congrats on the BFP

Thanks ladies. I think the Clearblue opk was correct as my internet cheapie is definitely positive this evening. Sadly OH is going through a very low phase (which is my fault as he had to be so strong for me over the past 6 months he's now struggling. I suggested maybe it was grief but he said he didn't think so) so no chance of BD. We've only successfully done it once since losing bow, last Saturday so I think it's very unlikely I'll get a BFP this month. At least I have some idea what my body is doing now.

Feeling pretty low myself. Hate to think I've made him feel like this 

@InDreamland fingers crossed the scan goes ok-I deffo mention the BFP. Do stock around-let is know how you get on? X

@Mathsymummy Hope your appt goes ok.

@Mistymeow @Lilimum5 @boboelephant and @Mathsymummy thank you.

Ladies hope you don't mind but I'm not ready yet to disappear from here. I'm still trying to deal with the loss in July and petrified this one will not stick either. I just can't feel excited like I did in May when I got my first ever BFP. would love to stay on here for now.

@boboelephant I have heard from so many friends and colleagues who have decided to go down the IVF route and then they fall pregnant naturally literally weeks before. Keeping my fingers crossed for you x

@Mathsymummy I hope you can get some answers tomorrow!

@Mathsymummy that's good that you have an appointment. I hope they can give you some answers.

@Boboelephant I’ve been using the cb digital test (the one with blank, flashing and static faces) and got peak on day 15 the last two cycles so I’d guess ovulation in day 16. I’ve booked an appointment with a nurse at my ob-gyn office tomorrow to have a chat about it

@Melpops36 I'm so sorry to hear that. Please take care of yourself.
@Lilimum5 I think counselling is a very good idea. It helps so much to have a space to talk without judgment and know that your feeling are justified.
@Mathsymummy are you sure about when you are ovulating? Are you charting? If so I would suggest going to the GP about your short LP and see if they can help.
@Laney79 glad you got a smiley. I would ignore the lines and go off the smiley face. I'm not sure you can even get false positives on opks. Hopefully this is a sign your body is getting back to normal.
@Mistymeow fingers crossed it happens soon. I know what you mean. I'm still secretly hoping that now we've decided to do IVF that I fall this month!
@Russkispy sounds perfect!! Hope this is it!!!
@Yukka hope you get some answers soon. It's such a frustrating process.
@KnitKitty how are you today hon?

@InDreamland congratulations

@InDreamland wow!!! Congratulations, that's definitely a line! I knew it would happen for you! I have everything crossed for you. I'd tell them when you go for the scan. Woohoo!

@InDreamland looks like bfp congrats hun xx

@melpops36 I’m really sorry to hear about your scan. Sending you so much love.

@indreamland well that’s exciting! I’m thrilled for you! I imagine if you had spotting a few days ago that was implantation and the line is about right. I would wait two days and take the digital. But once digital is done don’t take any more tests as it will just worry you if dyes aren’t as strong etc. I really hope this is it for you!!

@Russkispy glad it's all sounding so positive from your end. I have a good feeling about it and think you'll get your BFP in a couple of weeks. As for me, I don't want to jinx it. Maybe I'll mention it Saturday when I get in the scan room instead. It might be a CP then telling them will have been for nothing. I'm so scared of losing this one. I can't cope with another loss to the point I'm not sure I believe the line. Goodness I'm screwed up in the head.

@InDreamland call them up and let them know about BFP.
Acupuncture is great and having another session tomorrow. Then flying home this weekend. Will carry on with acupuncture and reflexology and all my meds wth supplements. And hope for the best. And I've got a plan B to start IVF next month. Thankfully it's cheaper here and excellent care! Always helps!

Thanks @awakeatnight. I got my static smiley on the evening on 23rd October. So presume I ov'd within 48 hours of then.

@Melpops36 I'm so sorry - big hugs and fingers crossed for a better result next week. It must be awful for you having to wait it out. You can do this xx

@InDreamland definitely a line! Do you know when you ovulated for sure? A few days could make a big difference to the line at this stage but your FRER is indisputable. Thinking of you and your hopefully sticky bean!

@Laney79 So I think those digital tests have a slight degree of cleverness in that they can pinpoint a rise in your personal levels. Meaning the darkness of the line when it calculates you're about to ovulate is relative to the level it was at when you started testing. I think, at least!

Thanks @Russkispy. I'm petrified of a chemical or losing this one too. I have an NHS scan on Saturday morning to check womb shape size etc ....... what do I do? How are you after IUI and acupuncture?

@Melpops36 I'm so sorry to read this! Words failing me!!! Sending big hugs