TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

Thank you @KnitKitty @hayleyfx and @clumsykitten the bleeding is getting worse. Passing some stringy bits and looking redder I cannot believe I'm having this again. All was fine until that scan. Should I have just not gone for it? Can a scan cause a mc? I feel like such an idiot for hoping this could be our rainbow and that wanting to be pregnant by the due date of our little bean in January might actually be possible. I secretly hoped with the dates making initial due date on 1 year anniversary of losing our little bean that this one would be a keeper, especially as we had cleared out baby's room to actually make it a proper bedroom last weekend. I hoped they were were all positive signs but no, looks like I'm in that statistic again ......

@hayleyfx glad you had a nice break away. The ceremony though sounds so sad I agree with KnitKitty that it looks strong to be left over HCG but I'm no expert. Guve it a few days and take another to see if line gets stronger. Hope it is a new pregnancy.

@hayleyfx nice to see you back. Frer is very sensitive only 6mol and not pregnant is 5 or less....so it’s highly possible a new pregnancy. You need to test with first morning urine for frer to work at its best though. If you could possibly wait to Monday morning... otherwise look forward to picks tomo...everything crossed Hun xx

@hayleyfx Just seen your new post. Looks quite a strong line to still be left over HCG... Does it look darker than the test from 3 weeks ago. I reckon that looks like a new pregnancy. Do you have any symptoms of being pregnant again? Only way to tell really is to wait and test again in a couple of days and see if the line gets darker... So frustrating!

Thanks @Laney79 and @Yukka. I went shopping with OH and we had lunch out. Then went to my sister's for a cuppa and going to my dad's for dinner in a bit, so no duvet day, but feels like a treat day. Think I'll have a nap before I leave again. Bleeding has calmed down a bit and pain almost gone. Just tired.

@InDreamland The prodding around could have caused your cervix to bleed. It can be more sensitive during pregnancy due to hormonal changes. I bleed after anything internal. When I have smear tests I bleed almost like a period for a few hours and then it dries up again; so I hope your bleeding stops. I hope it's still a sticky bean; the line progression is looking good. I'm not giving up hope for you yet!

@hayleyfx Lovely to hear from you again. I'm glad you had a nice time away. The ceremony sounds lovely. Fingers crossed for you testing again.

@Mathsymummy it really was lovely! So upsetting seeing how many people go through this but also lovely to see how much love everyone has for their babies 👼❤️

I bought 2 FRER today and decided that I had to take one as soon as I got home! 🙄 it’s positive... I don’t know if it’s leftover hcg or a new pregnancy though. I’m about 10dpo I reckon and it’s turning into quite a nice line (my last test was about 3 weeks ago and was very faint) and I seemed to ovulate normally this month but I’m not letting myself believe it’s a new pregnancy. What do you think girls?

@hayleyfx that sounds lovely but also very emotional ❤️

Hi ladies, I haven’t been on in so long that the thread disappeared! Was having a break from everything. Had a few days away in Edinburgh with my OH which was really lovely. Just been trying to enjoy the little things again. In my cycle I’m either 9 or 10dpo today and I haven’t tested at all!! Not even really thought about it but now I kind of want to know, so going to buy a FRER today and test tomorrow. A BFP would be lovely but I’ve not been obsessing for a change!! Needed a break after all the confusion from last month, definitely helped 😊

@Lilimum5 I’m so sorry it wasn’t straightforward and that you needed the surgery but so glad it’s all over for you now and hope you’re feeling as okay as you can be. It’s just so sad. I hope you and your dh are staying strong together ❤️

@Melpops36 I’m so sorry hun, that’s just so unfair 😔 sending you so much love and strength, I hope you’re okay 💕

@InDreamland congrats on your BFP but sorry you’re having such a stressful time! I totally understand, everything is such a worry but as you said, lots of people have perfectly healthy pregnancies with some bleeding. I’ve got everything crossed for you 🤞

@KnitKitty I’m sorry af showed! Hope you’re feeling a bit better now x

@Boboelephant nice to see you back here, I’m glad you had a lovely time away!

Welcome to all newbies, I’m so sorry you find yourselves here but it’s a brilliant, supportive group of ladies. Wishing you all the best of luck in TTC!

Sorry I’ve missed loads but I had a scan through and I’ve got over 10 pages to catch up on I think haha! 🙈 I’m so sorry to everyone having a tough time, sending hugs to you all and good luck to everyone else in the TWW!

Thought I’d also add - I attended a ceremony last week in my local hospital to remember all babies lost during pregnancy or shortly after. It was so lovely but also heartbreaking as there were so many people there grieving their babies. It really helped us though. We wrote Charlie’s name on a tag and put his name proudly at the top of their rememberance tree ❤️ I think it’s such a lovely idea to do this! We’ve got a few things around the house now like Charlie’s 12 week scan framed to remind us of our precious boy. Doing these little things have helped me so much!

Hope everyone is doing okay ❤️

Thank you @Clumsykitten. I know I hear of others who bleed and everything turns out ok with a healthy baby to bring home but I feel like I just have so much bad luck in the conception and pregnancy world.

@Clumsykitten thanks hunni. I'm only 4+3 so too early to see anything. I just know there's nothing I can do now. Gotta just wait it out. I was relieved with the slightly stronger line this morning then an hour later at the hospital was just devastated to see that blood. Sonographer tried to just say it was likely from me being tense during scan and should be ok but said to call GP on Monday if I'm worried and ask for an early scan at 6 weeks (I'll be on holiday - fly out next weekend for 1.5 weeks). I just know that this won't end well.

Thanks @clumsykitten @panapan @KnitKitty @TinyPaws @boboelephant and @Yukka. I think it's over ....... so got up this morning, all normal, no bleeding, was naughty and did another FRER, line a little stronger (also did one yesterday but was after lunch so not as strong). Anyway went for my scan (8am appointment) at NHS, this was to check everything there was ok for conceiving given took 5 years to get pregnant before mc in July and nothing causing mc. As soon as scan finished, wiped when she took the wand out and lots of spots of blood. Sonographer said it was likely because I was tense down there and caused some bleeding. Fat forward 3 hours and I've started bleeding more now and it's looking redder so have put a pad on. I knew this wound be too good to be true. Goung to lose this one too now

I've attached a pic of the 3 FRERs I've taken in date order.

@KnitKitty sorry AF turned up but as you said I hipe your system is just having a good clear out and hope you feel better soon.

Sorry for all the other AFs that have turned up. Sending you all hugs!

@boboelephant keeping my fingers crossed for you. I have a friend who managed to have another baby after ectopic so it's possible for you. Really hppe that 2019 is your year to welcome another baby to your family x

Hope you enjoy your swimming @Laney79.

I think I'm going to look into the co-Q10. Sounds like you all recommend it. Can that just be bought off the shelf?

Thanks all. Just really tough times. We're going swimming today just to try and do something different and get some exercise. Other half is just so tense and feeling he HAS to perform so even when we are dtd he can't let go.

I'm also taking co-enzyme q10. Take 300mg with my pregnacare preconception at tea time. Like several others now I've had two mmcs and no successful pregnancies and I'm 39 I'm really concerned about egg quality. I don't want to take too much as we have fallen pregnant twice since the start of the year so don't want to upset that, but equally if quality is an issue then I need to do something.

I've been reading it starts with the egg by Rebecca Fett and joined the Facebook group...think I'm going to stick with the q10 for now, see what happens the consultant and my results on the 27th and take it from there. I'd be tempted by DHEA looking at some of the research but I've seen it can mess with cycles and I don't want to do that. It's so difficult. @Lilimum5 The FB group may be worth you taking a look at? Rebecca actually responds in there to questions so you could ask her about q10?

carrying on from @Yukka suggestion-we watched "last Vegas" a couple of weeks ago, good one to watch with other half. About a bunch of older men heading to Vegas for a stag do-Robert de Niro, Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman etc. Was very funny.

@KnitKitty sending hugs. Sounds rough xxx

@TinyPaws pleased the first part has gone ok-fingers crossed for the rest of the protocol.

@Boboelephant I'm going to counselling every fortnight. If nothing else it's helpful to just get stuff off your chest and not feel judged or that you'll upset someone.

@Newbie21 thanks for the info from your consultant. I also worry about menopause. It's so hard to try and understand our bodies. I most definitely have issues with mine. Always have really, never been exactly body confident and now it's let me down twice I really struggle. I just don't have faith that my body will do what it's designed to.

@Mathsymummy that nurse really isn't considering you as a whole person-she's just looking at your physical state. The mental side has a huge impact. I honestly think that's why my gp/consultant agreed to the tests as my EPAU nurse could see the detrimental impact what I've been through was having in my mental health. I'd be tempted to book with gp anyway and discuss with them.

@knitkitty I had one like that 2 months ago and hopefully now things are getting back to normal. Sorry you feel crap..,,duvet day in front of the tv?

I’ll recommend a film to cheer everyone up ...I feel pretty... it’s really funny cheesy cringe chick flick but add a box of chocs and pjs and it’s good medicine for the soul!

Hi ladies I take coq10 plus prenatal vitamins plus additional omega 3 to help egg quality. I’m nearly 40.

@clumsykitten - breath in for 5 and out for 10 - that will help if you feel emotionally vulnerable at work. Do it a few times. It’s a hatha yoga practice.

@indreamland congrats and thinking of you. Try to remember most women’s next pregnancy is ‘the one’.

@melpops so sorry love xxx

Cd 21 here think 8dpo. No test results yet from docs. See what next week brings. If no bfp I hope af arrives on time and then I know my cycles are back to normal. Small steps forward.

Xx

Well AF is definitely here with no mistake now. It's painful and really heavy which I haven't had even with all the early MCs/CPs. So hopefully I'm in the middle of a really good clear-out. But it's not fun.
Feeling ok emotionally, but I'm exhausted.

@InDreamland you're very welcome to stay around. Thanks and I would love if that happened. I desperately am hoping for that miracle but pretty certain that's not going to happen. I think the EP really messed up my fertility and the time I got pregnant with the MMC must have been a fluke. Hopefully though IVF will work 🤞
@Laney79 I'm so sorry both you and DH are struggling. Please don't blame yourself though. It's such a tough time for both of you and you have to support each other the best you can. Don't feel bad for needing each other.
@Clumsykitten I know how you feel. Every time af starts I feel that broken feeling too. My stats are pretty similar to yours. More than two years trying and two losses although an EP and a MMC and now 11 months of nothing. I pushed for investigations 3 months after the MC. They did try and say you got pregnant 5 months ago but I insisted as it had been 16 months since EP and only a failed pregnancy in that time and they agreed. Just be firm.
@KnitKitty a trip to the Lakes sounds perfect. Don't beat yourself up, our bodies are mysteries! Hope you have a lovely break. Re IVF ready, I'm trying to lose a few kg so have started Zumba and lots of walking. Also restarted acupuncture and am going to try and do as much fertility yoga as possible. I generally eat well anyway but DH and I are both going to cut down drinking a bit, lots of protein, I'll probably restart my maca powder and seed smoothies and increase the eggs and avo again. I already take vitamins so will continue with that. Also will continue with meditation and generally just try and improve my emotional wellbeing. And cross my fingers!!!
@TinyPaws I really hope this works out for you. Great news the down regulation worked. 😀 what supplements are you taking? Also good work on asking for help. I am planning on using the counselling provided by the IVF clinic, it's a hard journey this TTC business. Yep we went and saw the fertility doc yesterday and the plan is to start in Jan. We have a holiday in Dec and the clinic shuts down over Christmas so that's the soonest we can do. So now it's just waiting really. Good news is the meds have worked and my thyroid has gone down to about 1.5.
@Lilimum5 I started taking coq10 about a month ago as it was recommended by my fertility doc. I take it all month. Not sure if its made a difference but they do say that anything egg quality related takes three months to take effect.
@Mathsymummy sorry she was so unhelpful. I get a bit annoyed when nurses gatekeep being able to see the GP. Hopefully it's not a problem and you don't need to go back.
@Coffeist sorry af showed up. The NHS tests usually are day 3 and 21 bloods which check for thyroid function and follicle stimulating hormone as well as progesterone levels to make sure you are ovulating. I also had a scan to check my ovaries and my doc tested AMH (egg reserve) although that is not standard on the NHS.

@Newbie21 thank you that is some useful information. I might still take the magic pills anyway at least I'll feel like I'm doing something even if it doesn't have any effect.

@Coffeist @Lilimum5 @Clumsykitten I also worry about the ageing egg issue and becoming perimenapausal. On Monday I went to see a consultant at the Portland to ask whether early menopause could be an issue (my grandmother had early menopause) and to talk about my eggs. He said if your cycle is regular and you ovulate regularly then early menopause is not happening. He said obviously age is a factor but he said there would be good eggs and as long as me and DH could stay strong and were willing to keep TTC then we'd get there. I asked if there was anything we should do or take and he said no, we've just had very bad and sad luck but to just stay strong. It's frustrating there isn't a magic pill to make it all easier but I found comfort in his optimism that we'd get there.

And yes, take it all the time - would stop if got pg.

I'll take it in mornings - some people take higher mg as well. Should be good for getting older in general as well. But I'm not an expert by any means...

@Coffeist do you take it all the time or certain times in your cycle.

I've also heard talk of DHEA what does this do.

I'll try anything if any of you have any ideas or advise.

My problem is not getting pregnant it's staying pregnant that seems to fail.

I've also had AF start today - 27 days cycles now. I'm pushing 40 so worried this is first signs of menopause (shortening cycles?).

Lilimum5 - I've been taking coq10 (300mg) since my 2nd MC in May (after reading book "It all starts with the egg"), but of course no success yet.

I've booked GP appt in few weeks and was planning to go and ask to refer for further tests as it's been over 6 months - IF this is done, do you know what they generally do?