TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

How long did it take for your HCG levels to fall? It's been 5 days since a blood test showed my level was 8 but I did another test tonight and it's still positive... surely it should be negative by now given that they told me after the blood test that it shouldn't even show up on a hpt at 8... I'm starting to go insane not knowing whats going on with my body!

Do any of you ladies use the clearblue fertility monitor and do you recommend buying one? They are quite expensive but I will buy one if they are good. I'll do just about anything if it helps.

And @hayleyfx I agree with @InDreamland I would definitely complain, this process is hard enough without that shit making you feel that way

@InDreamland sorry you're having a tough time of it, if you're anything like me you're noticing nothing but pregnant women and babies everywhere!
Try to use this holiday to recharge your batteries, chat to your partner and put your feelings and plan to some happy positive things for the future so not everything is baby baby baby
Now if I could just take my own advice.......

Hi ladies. Juat catching up. I had another meltdown yesterday, just everything getting on top of me. Feeling like the universe is against me and everything that can go wrong is.

I'm at the airport at the moment waiting in the lounge for my flight. Reckon we'll have to make our way to the gate in 10 mins. Didn't help a pregnant lady walked past me a few times. I should be on babymoon for our first

@hayleyfx I'm lost for words! Unbelievable what she said! I'd march right down there with all the tests and complain! I actually showed the EPU a photo of my 3 +ve tests as I felt like she didn't believe me. I'm mad for you. Glad you're going to take the urine test and complain!

Sorry to see a couple more newbies here. Sorry for your losses ladies.

@Tiniestsky do take another test Monday and if +ve go to your EPU.

Oops pressed post by accident
@hayleyfx I will do another test on Monday, if it's still positive I'll make an appt
The test I did Thursday night the lines were more faint than originally, not sure if that means less hormones are being detected or not....

@Orchid88 good for you for staying positive and proactive about things, you're so right about it being easy to consume you if you let it.
I guess if the worst has happened I'll have my first cycle and focus on having a good Christmas and start again in January

@hayleyfx if you're crazy then I think we all are, I don't think you can go through what we do and not be affected by it.
I'm keeping everything crossed you get the news you want x

Thank you @indreamland, @hayleyfx and @laney79. I’m mostly feeling ok, there’s an acceptance I guess that it won’t be straightforward, but it’s not impossible for us to have a baby. I’m more looking forward to being pregnant again knowing that I’ll get more care anyway. I suppose like any challenge we’ll just take it one day at a time when it happens.

I’ve searched mumsnet and there are no threads discussing the condition so I will stick around here until I’m hopefully pregnant again and go from there. Thanks for everyone’s support during the last few months.

It also goes to show the value in the testing given the consultant was ready to write me off as too old and in need of another woman’s eggs. He totally missed the mark on the grieving woman human factor at that meeting. I mean of course its still possible that I’m too old (39 really?) but my gut feel says that’s not an issue. Id quite like to be able to tell him to go fuck himself with a newborn in my arms :)

Keep pushing for those tests ladies - you are really the only person that is fighting your spot on the waiting lists, even if just to rule things out.

Xx

@Tiniestsky @Lilimum5 @Clumsykitten @Laney79 @MeghanV07 thank you all so much for making me feel less crazy! After that phone call I felt like nobody was going to believe me and I wasn’t going to get my early scan! I wanted to scream yesterday, really didn’t need the stress 🤦‍♀️
You’ve all made me feel so much better. I’m going in first thing on Monday to do the urine test and make a complaint, I usually wouldn’t but last night I was in tears because of it and I don’t want anyone else to feel like that, especially people who have had losses before. After sleeping on it I’m feeling more relaxed now but yesterday I was a wreck - and even bought more tests on my way home because I started believing I wasn’t pregnant! 🙈 I’m going to see how Monday goes and take it from there. The nurse who helped me when I lost Charlie was so lovely and told me to phone her if I ever need her support so I might do that.

@Tiniestsky I’m so sorry you’re going through this - I understand about clinging onto that tiny bit of hope. I think at this point a blood test would probably be the best option to see what’s going on, it takes a few days but you’ll get some answers. I hope you get them soon

@Orchid88 I’m so sorry for your losses! You seem very strong and positive which is brilliant. Great that you have your appointment in February - definitely a step in the right direction. Wishing you so much luck for when you start TTC again!

@Tiniestsky it's tough no matter how resilient you are, it really is like no other experience I have gone through. I have allowed myself to cry or have a duvet day, but I just know myself well enough to not let this continue for too long as I would never recover if I give into to my sadness.

I come from a family riddled with mental issues and I just know it would be so easy for me to follow down the same path as many of my relatives. I Keep on telling myself that I need to be the healthiest and happiest me first so that I can provide the best care to my baby when it comes so I have done a lot of meditation, prayer and have made sure this time that I am seeing my friends and doing the things I love on the weekends and evenings to make sure I'm happy.

If you had spoken to me a month ago after the second loss I would not sound soo rational. Just let yourself go through all the emotions that you feel it's part of the process.

We're all in this together 😘

@Orchid88 I meant to say also, I hadn't really thought of it the way you said, to enjoy the process of being pregnant for as long as you have it rather that dwelling on the possibilities and past.
That's the biggest weight that's been on my shoulders, coping with getting pregnant for the second time and just waiting for the worst to happen.
Considering what you've been through in the last 5 months you really do seem to be a positive person and level headed about it

That is so true, if I'm being totally honest, I didn't even make room for the possibility of loss, I kinda got cocky and thought this kind of thing happens to other people, so ignorant I know.
If and when we get our baby, I really appreciate it so much more and I didn't even think that was possible

@Tiniestsky I know the stats and anecdotal commments about friends and family having a miscarriage and then going on to have successful ones are not that reassuring, as every case is so individual.

I am definitely sending good energy your way and hope that you are pregnant again whenever you are ready. One thing that has kept me going is knowing that when my baby is here I will really appreciate it and not take it for granted! Bearing a child is definitely a gift in a way that I didn't ever realise before.

Xxxx

@Orchid88 thanks so much that's kind of you to say :)
I keep trying to be logical and rational about it, maybe because everyone is here it seems much higher than 1%.... seems like that can't be right..

@MeghanV07 thanks so much. We've been offered an investigation appointment in early February so we have a bit of a wait. I haven't been check out this time as I just haven't had the energy but I will call my EPU next week and go for a scan and hopefully a consultation to make sure I don't have anymore remaining products left in me and to also make sure my third miscarriage is actually on record.

Sorry accidentally hit post on my message above!. Was going to say that it's hard to not let miscarriage steal some of the joy of pregnancy as you know it doesn't always end happily but I have really been trying to allow myself to enjoy it each time by take it day by day rather then thinking too far forward.

It may reassure you to know I am in the very small minority of women that have recurrent miscarriage, as only 1% of women experience this apparently.

I am sending some major baby dust your way and wish you a BFP soon!. Xxx

@Tiniestsky thanks so much for your supportive words, It really helps to speak to people that have been through this.

I am soo sorry to hear about your loss, I know how hard it can be the first time as it's uncharted territory and you have no idea what it will be like. I was in real shock the first time as I did not see it coming. The hardest thing is trying to ensure that you don't allow your loss to 'take the magic

@hayleyfx I cannot believe she spoke to you like that. Especially after your previous Mc's?! Who the hell does she think she is? I'd be making a complaint & going back to see her with those bag of tests you have!! Even if you hadn't had any mc's I think she's still out of order!

@Orchid88 I'm so sorry for your loses 💙 I hope you appointment on Friday goes well & you can at least get some answers. TTC to conceive is stuff, we've just got the added stress of 'mc fear'

Xxx

@Orchid88 sorry to hear about your experiences, sounds like you've really had a time of it, I wish there were words to help but I know from my own experience that there's nothing I can say.
I agree with the mc symptoms, I miscarried last weekend for the first time and first pregnancy, it was very much like a mild period that lasted 2 days and I've been fine since (touch wood). You see the movies and you think you're gonna be rushed to a&e in an ambulance don't you lol
I hope they find some answers for you at your appt, I am also crossing my fingers that this mc was a fluke one off but I'm a bit of a cynic, all of us being in the same place with the same issue probably doesn't help with that

Hi folks,

So I have been lurking for a while as I have never posted anywhere before.

Age - 30
TTC baby #1
Miscarriage July - 4.2 weeks
Miscarriage October - 7 weeks
Miscarriage November - 5 weeks

It has been an amazingly challenging 5 months and I have never been through such a range of emotions in my whole life!. We got pregnant the first time during the first month we started trying and we're so surprised and ecstatic but unfortunately that was short lived as I miscarrried at 4.2 weeks. The pain was like the most intense period ever, and I was literally rocking myself in pain.

The next time was even more devastating as we were really hopeful that the first time was just fluke as my body was probably just getting use to being pregnant and would be fine the next time but this wasn't the case and at 7 weeks I miscarried and the pain was really significant this time. It really felt like I was going through labour pains.

The most recent is currently happening and started on Monday when I would have been 5 weeks exactly. This time has been painless surprisingly, I've only felt like my womb was contracting or sort of shrinking back to its original size. On this occasion I was taking folic acid with vitamin D way before my TTC journey began and I also decided to take 75mg 'baby aspirin' this time as I have heard this can't harm the baby and might support the development.

We were offered an investigation after miscarriage two and have an appointment for February which I never bothered to cancel so we're going to take a break until the new year. I really hope that the consultat is able to find something so these loses are explained.

I've been so inspired by all the stories I have read and hope that my experiences helps someone else. I wish someone explained to me how varied the pain can be when experiencing a miscarriage as it really isn't like the movies and I think it's so important to hear about this from people that have actually experienced it.

@Clumsykitten no worries, it has been hard but it's the battling with myself that's hardest "you might be pregnant, don't be stupid cara no you're not!, but I could be" I'm just tormenting myself.
Can the doc telly up there and then or do they send off blood tests?

Sorry was a bit vague there lol
I found out I was pregnant last week on Tuesday and by Thursday I was bleed light and Friday fairly heavy with clotting. All signs point to a mc but epu said they couldn't do anything until 7 weeks and I was 4.
You hear stories of implantation bleeding or people just heavy bleeds and still being pregnant, and while that hope lingers it means I can't move forward and accept it. I'm just sitting here like a lemon waiting.... I did a test yesterday (week after the bleed that last 2 days and suddenly stopped) and it's still positive, I know that can be normal for a couple weeks after mc but none of this is helping

@hayleyfx those tests are very clear lovely. You are pregnant. Your dr is out of order. I'd bypass and go to EPAU. I'd be tempted to make a complaint or at least ask for an apology from her on Monday. It's not fair to make you feel like this. First do no harm also applies to mental health xxx