TTC First Baby Massive Thread.

Hello!

I'm new to this so please excuse my lack of abbreviations!

Age 28
Cycle #2

I m became accidentally pregnant with my ex husband 5yrs ago and had a termination due to personal circumstances, which I am now very relieved about as he left me for someone else a year later, so I know that I can get pregnant albeit I was 5yrs younger. I have since met the most amazing man (aged 46 with a teenage son) and we have been engaged for 6months and actively ttc (first Mumsnet abbreviation!) for 2 months. I came off the pill a year ago as it was effecting my moods and Just used the very unsafe 'pulling out' method (and a few slip ups) but as we both agreed that it we became pregnant during that time we would both be very happy so it was fine. A part of me thinks that surely if we were going to get pregnant then there would be quite a chance of it happening before now. I'm also worried that I'm putting a lot of subconscious pressure on my body willing it to get pregnant with ovulation dates, folic acid and symptom spotting. I guess I just thought it would happen straight away and I don't feel like anything has happened this month either. Arghhhh!!!

@Crossfitgirl I had ewcm for two days after ovulation. I say if you still have it, tie your DH to the bed and have a go at it. 😂

@FlapJackered don't you give up on me, woman, no "not feeling it this month" allowed 😏. It is definitely too early for AF for me, not due until the 24th and there's no way it's happening early. Also felt some cramps last night, kinda like someone playing tiny soccer with my lady bits. That's totally new. I don't get any physical symptoms of AF coming, it just happens, and it hasn't started either. Last month I got a dip and it came that day. So everything is weird and odd and unusual this time.

@crossfit well done for slaying the dragon!! 🐉 and getting back on that 🐎!
I wouldn't worry too much about the sex as it only takes one time. If you're taking opks and temping just make sure when it's fertile week you use one of your seduction techniques to Dtd.

@KatBeCool I am weirdly zen now about it. I don't have a lot of hope this cycle though so I feel like I am just waiting for AF. When is your AF due? Isn't it a bit early for a temp drop for your Af? Could be an implantation dip?
That is difficult with your SIL - you want to be happy for them but when it happens so quickly it's a bit of a stab in the guts.

Welcome @Squiff70 when do you think you will test? Or are you going to wait for AF?

@Gemcas you're not alone. It is such a hard time ttc. I find if you're having a hard day coming on here for a rant is great. As sometimes the DPs just don't properly get it.

@Crossfitgirl that CD3 thoughhhh 😏 please don't stress yourself over it, honestly - just try and do what you did today again xx

@Gemcas it's not just you. I'm also 40, maybe not quite as angry yet, but not all rainbows either. I know you hear it all the time, but be patient. It'll happen.

40 and 2 failed ivfs this year have turned me into a monster, am angry, paranoid, anxiety is wild and I feel totally lost. My partner seems to deal with it all in his stride when I feel am dying inside all sorts of emotions and I end up exploding.not sure how to deal with my feelings any more desperate for a child but not sure I can deal with the constant roller coaster of emotions. Is it just me !

How dire is this??

@delilah7 I've not DTD since the 13th sept!
I've told him we need to make the most of the days he's back so at least again tomorrow but he gets up at 5am for work on Mon so don't think a morning sesh will do, and that's when I ov according to flo.
I had EWCM today though how long do you usually have it for? Couple days, or more? It's meant to go back dry after ov x

Welcome @Squiff70 - you could probably consider testing!

Hi all,

I joined last week so thought I'd come to this thread and say hello.

TTC #1
Age 36
Just finished first cycle but am waiting for period. Had v. sore breasts for 5 days and feel exhausted today. Period due 25th Sept. The wait seems endless. Too soon to do a test? Ovualtion date was 11th Sept.

@sunshine1987 ah, you know, I never even thought about it like that. The no rejection thing is a biggie!
I might suggest SMEP to him for next month... I have explained about fertile days and that day of ovulation is best, and he has agreed to have more sex, he even suggested we have sex every day!

Unfortunately he is a man of words rather than action on this front, but I think once he sees I'm not getting pg he will realise for himself the importance of action! (Sometimes they need to think it's their own idea or just realise for themselves rather than actually just listening to us)

I do think he will be up for it, just need to sell it as romantic and exiting haha

@crossfitgirl so glad your hubs came around 😉 have to remember the direct approach works for him next time!

To be honest neither of us have massively high sex drives, we never have so when we decided to try for a baby I explained to him how it all works and what’s recommended etc and I guess he’s just the sort of person who needs information and we both try and follow a plan as such. I can’t say it’s massively romantic but it works for us and once we get into it we really enjoy it, it’s just easier than stressing about is he going to reject me etc for me, which I always found hard xx

Omg @katbecool and @sunshine1987 I wish I could be like that. I mean, I am like that - i will initiate even when not in the mood, as I so want a baby, but DH has already said to me he doesn't want to feel like the romance is gone, which I can understand.
I'm not sure I'm ready for scheduled sex, but it might be a good idea for weeknights- as that is our downfall. We tend to have weekend sex if it happens, weeknights are busy, full of work stress etc.

I may schedule it in his calender though when he's not looking and see what his reaction is haha.

Notification: have sex with wife, 6pm. Bring handcuffs
😂

@Crossfitgirl it stores data, monitors oestrogen and has compatible pregnancy tests. It looks kinda cool too.

Tbh it just appealed to my desire to do something, anything!

@validuser go you! Well done on the exercise! What's the benefit of a fertility monitor rather than just OPKs? Does it keep track of everything all in one?

@cupcakesandglitter well, I dunno lol temping isn't my field of expertise, it's only my 2nd month, the only thing I've found raised my temp quite a lot so far is drinking the night before, I'm lucky that so far unsettled nights don't seem to have altered my temps much. Good luck figuring it out!

@flapjackered aww yeah I forgot about that! Don't know where all my confidence went tbh! It goes to pot I think when you fear rejection, I felt a bit pathetic tbh!

I'm pleased to say though we have now DTD!
He came upstairs and sat on the bed, and I went over and pushed him backwards, and lay on top of him smiling. Didn't even need to do anything, he went straight for my top to pull it off!

All that dithering for nothing!
Lol

@katbecool you sound exactly like us!! x

@FlapJackered I want to test! I had a temp dip today, hopefully it goes up. Not ready for a failure month.

@Crossfitgirl we really want kids, so we both know we gotta have sex, no matter whether we're in the mood or not. And after doing it three days in a row, there's no mood from either one of us. We just do it. If we're sick, we just don't kiss lol. Married life often brings low sex drive because there are so many things to take care of! So much stress! We basically have to schedule it. But it works. Once we actually get to bed... things happen. It's one of the advices they give for low sex drive - schedule sex. And when I'm fertile, I just announce sex haha

Good 35 mins of aerobic exercise today and I start using my clearblue fertility monitor tomorrow. 😇

@Crossfitgirl you're right, I don't think they'd be very far without us 😂😂 and I have no idea which ones to count as anomalies and not - I know my sleep is disturbed etc sometimes but I can have the same conditions and get completely different results so who knows 😂😂

Go downstairs and try in person? If he doesn't then force him to talk about it x

@Crossfitgirl I know how rubbish it is to be rejected and I am rubbish at being brave in these situations, but I would go up to him, kiss him with tongues and say you want him right now. I don't think he is going to refuse! You had so many great ideas for me the other day, use one of those. If he does say no (which I am sure he won't) you have us to rant to! Good luck lovely xxx

FFS, I'm on the bed upstairs and i finally decided to whatsapp him to say get up here and join me and was about to send a dirty pic... and hear his phone go off beside me!
He's left it charging on the bedside table!
Euh.
Can't even use a cop-out text method to entice him into sex with me with no risk of face to face rejection 😂