The Hut of Gl/doom part IV- it's still never going to happen- but ^in^ ^style^, yes

Hello Hutters.
Thanks to Lissie and LNO for Aspirin information. Very interesting. I think I might go for that as it's a relatively straight forward thing to do with no ill-effects. Also for the hope. I thank you. Although, I do feel a bit like Impatience and that I'm 'getting used ' to the fact that I might not have any children. I'm not sure what to think about this as the idea of positive intentions says, 'assume you will and it will come'.
Definitely no pg BFP for me this month as DP was not around at the right moment, so I am 'on hold'. .. it's a bit boring. I'm taking B6 as per instructions for PMT so am hoping to glide through imminent PMY zone without a care. Any bets??
Scorpio1, you sound drained.I hope that couple of hours to yourself went well.
Think Impy is brave to ask the question about preference to pg and then m/c or no pg. Tough one. As a not-a-mumsnetter, I think I would rather have the pg and the m/c than no pg ever again. One more chance might make me feel like I have really pushed the subject rather than cocked up the one bit I seemed to know how to do (that is get pg in the first place). It is all so personal.
Duchesse, I have missed you. Work less, it's all rubbish anyway and play on MN every day - even if only for 10 minutes!!

he doesn't live with us since he started school, we see him in hols now. before then, it was half and half with his mum. i was 18 and he was 1 when i got him!

Thanks Scorpio. I don't care how you say it! Yes, it's hard, and we would dearly love to have a whole troop of kids. I always wanted the adults to be outnumbered by children, so it's a child's house. But I've been getting rather philosophical about it all lately, and feeling grateful for what we do have and thinking a lot about the positive side of not having more than one child: a bit more freedom mainly. Of course there are pros and cons of anything, but at the moment I'm really trying not to let my misery about not having more children get in the way of enjoying the one that I have. Of course I'm not always this irritatingly rational!

Does your dss live with you? How old were you when you 'acquired' him?

they never sleep during the day. see, thats the prob with two or more-there is always going to be one needing/wanting something! i have a dss too, btw. he is nearly 6.i do like the madness though.

i'm sorry, i'm not very good at knowing what to say- but i just want to say in a nice way that im sorry for your ttc troubles. it must be hard or you, maybe only having one? im sorry if i ome across all wrong, i dont mean to.

I guess it gets harder the more you have, because at least with one at some point they WILL go to sleep (even ours...) or will go to play with a friend etc. I guess with 2 or more you have to get all of them to conk out at the same time to get any peace, and does that ever happen?

(Can you spot the hut dweller who is making progress towards coming to terms with only having one child?)

Thanks, impatience. i just want an hour or even two to chill out - go and sit in a cafe with a book, or something. or i want someone else to make pack lunches for dcs just once. i dont think im being unreasonable! normally im fine, its just doing it for so long without an hour off [arrgghh]!

ds2 is going to nursery tomorrow, so im going to have from 12 until 3.15 off. shame i have to pay for the privelige.

Oh Scorpio that sounds TOUGH. Poor you. It's really hard when you just don't get any time off. You know, just enough to catch your breath, or get on top of the washing up... Not like you're going to be off having fun or anything

shitty shitty shite shite.

thats all i want to say! i figure i'm allowed to swear in here?

i have been on my own with kids for about 3 weeks now. every day i have done everything . dp has been working or doing car booty woth his mate. now, he has hurt his shoulder and is going to bed when he gets home tonight.

the other night, his mate came round unannounced at 6pm asking if he would come out to play-this bloke doesnt have a gf or kids, btw.probably the reason why he came over at kiddie calming down/reading time. guess who went out and guess who did it again.

he is staying home all weekend this weekend though, there is a local festival all weekend.i'm just so tired and want someone to help me. i asked my mum to take ds1 to a party yesterday and she couldnt. neither could dp, df or anyone. i walked about mile there and back with a screeching ds2.

i just want some help today

phew, thanks!

That sounds very practical, and a decent timescale.

well tbh we've kind of given ourselves til dec to ttc naturally, if it doesnt happen by then we'll pick the negligence case back up and go down the ivf route.

Poor both of you. It shouldn't be this way xx

personally id rather never conceive again. with every mc i feel more useless and each one is more painful than the last. but that may be easy for me to say coz i have ds....

That's interesting, Duchesse. Thank you.

That's interesting, Duchesse. Thank you.

Crap! I didn't at all mean to suggest those were your only two options, Duchesse! Sorry for my clumsiness

Duchesse, I had wondered that. I have increased my running a bit over the last couple of months (since I started accepting that I would never conceive and started getting on with the rest of my life). I'm going to chart this month and see what happens. I do only have a 1dp thermometer, but dp has a 2dp one so I might borrow hers. We have a farcical start to each morning as we both lie there with beeping thermometers. Ridiculous!

Duchesse, you don't have to answer this and sorry if it's a harsh question: Would you rather never conceive again than conceive and lose it? I guess that the latter gives you hope but also devestating loss. How does it balance out? [gentle hand-stroking emotion]

Absolutely inconsequential except to my pride, but my temps have stayed high this month since period, leaving me with that tantalising tease but misery because all the tests are neg, my cm seems to be reappearing etc etc. Point is, I ran a really hard race today, and as I started to flag badly that pissing awful little voice in my head whispers 'maybe it's because you're pregnant, you shouldn't push it...' So I did pretty badly in the race and am embarrassed. Bloody f'ing TTC is ruining EVERYTHING.

Harumph.

DEFINATELY understand you being focussed on your own stuff Chocolatedays: we all take it in turns! This is big stuff you're doing. I wish I had some magic tricks to suggest, but I just don't. Good luck. xx

Hi - thanks for asking after me.
No news - though we are coming to terms with accepting success is very unlikely. We have started to talk about our next round of IVF which feels constructive IYSWIM.

We are trying to find out possible reasons embryos stop dividing - so we can research them and aske better questions at the next consulation. Any ideas? Any of you on other sites (I'm also on Fertility Friends) - if so would you mind asking the question. [Our two fertilised eggs stuck at two cells by day 3 embryo transfer.]

Thanks - sorry to be so self centered at the moment - I think you understand.

ps any news from Chocolatedays - keeping my fingers crossed for you CD and hoping little embeddies hold tight.

Hi folks
sorry that its been so long but have been lurking outside the new hut - very nice thank you duchesse - like the fluffy towels (wraps one round head like turban and reclines on a lounger - one of those lovely heated from within ones...)

now listen Soreheart - calm down - 43 is still pretty good! Ive seen loads of stories recently of people beyond 44 conceiving naturally never mind with IVF. I panicked when I passed 45 birthday in April cos thought the clinic would say no way to IVF but they dont....you just have to find one that works well with you. My consultant told me a recent success story of a 46 yr old with donor eggs who did IVF in Spain at the Marbella Clinic (good success rates apparently). We dont want to go for donor so are trying again with my eggs in July or August. The success rate is poor yes - but someone has to get the 1% and why not us??

Lissie - I too am on 75mg asprin - self administered after reading stuff on this forum - I take it throughout the cycle. Consultant is fine with this and the Keto DHEA but oddly enough told me to steer clear of the reflexology???? In the one month that I had that, I had a horrendous AF that month - weird or what? But he does recommend accupuncture.

good to hear Beansprout is doing well and nice to hear from you too Impy.

These sun loungers are sooooooo relaxing I think I'll take a kip!
LNO

Thanks!