I want a baby but my partner doesn't and says I don't deserve to have his seeds what would you do.

He is emotionally abusing you. These sorts of relationships are incredibly hard to leave so well done for being brave enough to take the first steps.

For me it was hardest thing to do but also the best thing I ever did. Three years on I am in a very happy, healthy relationship and am so, so glad I finally left him.

Good luck and remember the actual leaving is the hardest part, it will get easier with each step you take.

LEAVE HIM! You still have time to find someone else better and who will treat you well!

This is a really sad thing to read, how awful for you. I think the thing that should make you think most honestly with your self that this relationship isn’t right is what your daughter has said. It’s easy as a friend or family member who only hears what you want to tell them, which is normally only when he is doing things to annoy you, to say he is always being horrible to you and you should leave. But when someone is living that relationship with you day in and day out, and sees all the good and all the bad, when they are saying there is more bad then good and you should leave, that is when you should be honest with your self and say actually she is right I need to leave

That was a big first step and it took a lot of courage. Be proud of that. Like you said, it was difficult to leave and you've now started the first steps in doing that.

Bravo!!

completely and utterly outraged at some of the responses from people on here. some people are so narrow minded and nasty and have clearly never been faced with a situation like this.
please remember that everybody is different and it takes all personalities to make the world go round.

@annmarie33
you deserve so much more and i am so happy and proud of you that you took the leap you did, it was a step in the right direction i actually welled up reading that you had taken action.
it is not easy do do what you have just done. its not easy to 'just leave' especially when you are so invested emotionally and financially.

you will be a much happier person. it sounds like he was dragging you down and emotionally abusing you and that is not acceptable. i hope your family and friends are there for you and that they understand your situation! and everyone here are also here for you for any rants etc.

i wish you all the best for yours and your daughters future xx

Great you are going to stay with your mum but how easy is it going to be getting the council to rehouse you?

I would think you are probably more likely going to have to go down the private rental route eventually

Remember it is one thing leaving at 34. You can start again and meet someone new and have a child with them. At 44 of 54 you might meet someone but another child is going to be impossible.

If your bf thinks he is too good for you then it is only a matter of time before he dumps you and you are out on your ear. Be is already on the look out for your replacement. This way you are taking control of the situation.

The only way you'd be trapped is by becoming pregnant with his child.

Does he have any children if his own? I get the impression he seems older than you?

Nobody is saying you're a bad parent, just challenging your claim that you're a 'brilliant' one. You said yourself that your dd gets upset when you get upset, she can't possibly fail to understand what a bad relationship you have with your partner. Not a good environment for her to be in.

And please don't try and use a baby to fill the gap in your life.

Why, are his precious seeds made of solid diamonds?

Very bad example for your daughter, staying with a man like this. I hope she's not your emotional crutch to lean on also or your adviser and listening ear, as that's also very wrong. You are her parent, she is not yours. Set an example. There's more than 1 man in the world for God's sake, let this one go. It's not the end of the world if you're single and not man-focused for a while

I am a brilliant mother to my daughter she has grown into a lovely kind young woman and she gets upset when she sees me upset

Brilliant mothers do not subject their dcs to this sort of toxic environment! But delighted to see you are taking steps to change this.

Please do not bring a child into this so called relationship

Cringing at his seeds

So even a child is aware of how badly you're being treated and explaining she doesn't understand why you're taking it. What sort of role modelling are you doing as a mother in terms of healthy relationships. What are you teaching her?

Why are you stuck? Whose house is it? Do you work?

Just leave. Even if you end up in a tent with your daughter, surely thats better than this.
Oh and this has to be the best thing Ive ever seen on mumsnet - "Let him go and sow his 24 carat gold twattery elsewhere"

I’d guess that you want a child because you want someone who will loves you unconditionally. The need is probably because you are with someone who doesn’t like you.

I’d leave even with nothing. A life without anything is better than getting downbeat all the time.

You don’t deserve to have his seeds???? Lol,this has to be funniest sentence I’ve read today

Don’t let a child experience the misery of having him as a father. No decent person talks to their partner like this.

Really??

AnneMarie- that's a really hard situation but you can leave. Honestly you can! If you can't think of one good thing to say about him now...think how you'll feel in 4 years when you're 40. You do have time to meet someone else, if you want to. What support do you have? Have you got a mum dad brother or sister nearby?

No child deserves that as a father tbh, so it’s for the best you don’t have a child with him. Some people shouldn’t be allowed to have dc and I reckon his one

You can’t have his ‘seed’ 🤮 is the king or some such?

You say your a good mum to your daughter but you are letting her see a very toxic relationship and even a 16 year old asks you why you are with him ffs

No leaving won’t be easy but in the long run it’s a small amount of stress compared to a life time with him....

What's your housing situation?

Annemarie33 - please post this in relationships pages, you will find many women there who will help you find the right way, and support you through the emotional process of leaving. Don't stay with this man abusing you any longer than necessary. You need to do the leaving for your daughters sake as much as your own.

Womens aid will help, they have all the advice and support you need, check their website and ring and speak to them please?

He's right you don't deserve his 'seeds' you deserve far far better than that.

What's your living situation, do you own/rent? Who's name is the house in?