TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3

@Laney79 - totally get it, the royal baby news hit me hard too. And you do swing from being desperate for a bfp but also terrified of one. Sending you love and strength. Hope you get some answers from your tests: we never did and we have DS who was born after the first 3 miscarriages so there is hope. Tho granted I was younger but clearly there’s an issue with me somewhere, maybe miracles do happen and they take the form of a little ginger boy for us!

All going ok here. I’m only 14dpo today, AF would be due, I’ve tested pretty much every day since Tuesday (10dpo) and the lines are getting much stronger which is a good sign for now. I’m also feeling quite sick and have really sore boobs. Taking each day as it comes. Gonna contact EPU tomorrow to self refer, they told me last time that I can do that as they know me. How sad 😔

Hi @Laney79. Did you read the blog I linked a week or so ago? I bought all the vitamins etc recommended on it to try next cycle but got my bfp instead. The success rates are high from them. I was really gutted when my bloods came back normal. Strange to hope for something wrong but I thought a clotting problem would be an easy solution. Why don't you dtd but use protection? The last thing you want is for this to affect your relationship. Have a great time at the party tonight. Maybe a drunken night is what you need!

@goodlordwhathappened keeping everything crossed for you.

@KnitKitty how are you doing lovely?

@Hopefulforourrainbow @whiteonesugar @Labmum @Miami81
hope all is well with you

Sorry to anyone I've missed.

Well this week has been pretty tough. Got my negative on Sunday after losing bow (found out it was another MMC on 19th sept).
Went back to work Monday to have the royal baby news everywhere (work in a radio newsroom so I couldn't escape it-it was on air, on tv, on the incoming feeds, social media...) just a constant reminder of what I've lost as I would've been pretty much bob on the same gestation I think. It really upset me-held it together at work but sobbed when I got home.

Had a gp appt weds -some of my test results are in - apparently thyroid is good (was 1.8 earlier in the year after losing bean, 1.37 this time which is apparently exactly where it needs to be for pregnancy. Apparently that means I won't be tested for thyroid antibodies, which I'm a bit confused about) no sign of diabetes or infection etc, so nothing yet to explain why I'm losing, but got to wait for the clotting/sticky blood results. I said to her I'm not sure how many times I can go through this...she asked if we had the money to and would consider assisted fertility 😢. I know she's just giving me options, especially considering I'm 39, but it scared me-does she think that's the only chance I have? I just don't think it's something I can handle with my medical phobia too.

I'm also torn between desperately wanting it to be a blood issue because then we know and can treat it, and not wanting anything to be found-because if that's the case it's likely to be age/egg quality and they can't do anything to treat that. I'm nuts aren't I.

So all week I've struggled to focus. I've been googling like mad. What can I take now that won't do any harm but might help improve my egg quality, what could I take if I get another BFP that again isn't going to hurt but might help, I've got lists and questions coming out of my ears. Consultant appt isn't for another month.

And I know this sounds stupid because I'm so desperate to have a baby, but I'm scared to try again. We haven't dtd since before we got the BFP with bow in August. I'm scared to fall pregnant again because at the moment nothing has changed so In my head it will just lead to another loss. SOmething needs to be different for it to work-does that make sense?

I'm doing opks again because I have no idea what my body is up to. Bleeding stopped 6/10, BFN 14/10, so trying to figure out when I might ovulate and when AF might be due. With the two AF's After Bean I ov'd day 13/14 with a 25/26 day cycle...but who knows now.

So today I have to put my game face on. Reflexology this morning, then hair cut before my fellas mates surprise 40th birthday party. Lots of friends that last time I saw I'd just found out I was carrying bow. They didn't know, but we've since told them about the Mc. I just hope I can hold it together when they give me that sympathy face.

Sorry for the long post-just needed to get it out xxx

Wow lots of bfps. Really hope they all stick!

Done a test this morning...definitely pregnant. Praying this isn't another chemical but also trying not to get over excited in case we have another loss. I haven't told my dh... thought I would wait until next week, don't even really know why. Not sure he can cope with another loss.

Evening :-)

So the last few days I've felt really crap, topped with retching when loading the dishwasher tonight. Boobs are hot and I just feel different. I did a test (stupid as period not due for another few days!) and got the faintest of all faint lines, not even sure if it's there 🤦🏻‍♀️ Feeling many emotions tonight, denial being the biggest! Going to try and hold out for a week and if no Aunt Flo then I will test again.

If I am pregnant again I am incredibly nervous as we haven't seen anyone yet as they won't until I have 3 miscarriages after 6 weeks (so far one at 6 and one at 13 plus two chemicals which they don't count).

@moonpeace I'd had no testing for progesterone but our RMC here seem to just give it to everyone with a thought of "it won't do any harm but might help". Also just to note the high dose folic acid is 5mg. So quite a lot higher than the standard 400ug.

I understand the avoidance tactic, its one of my coping techniques too.

Take care and good luck. Don't be afraid to push and advocate for yourself if you're not happy with the support you're being offered.

@moonpeace ring the RMC and speak to them, let them know you're pregnant again. I too was waiting on my appointment when I fell pregnant this time and they got me in to see them straight away and had me on cyclogest and high dose folic acid. I took aspirin off my own back. They also arranged fortnightly scans. Good luck! Got everything crossed for you.

Thanks @labmum. The one at night is ok as I just go to bed after. It's more the morning one though I tend to sit for 20 mins or so doing my hair after so hopefully that's enough time.
Haha I binged greys for the 2nd time after my first mc. Love it! I didn't want to have a break either but my husband did and to be honest with you we both feel better for it. I had set myself deadlines of wanting to be pregnant again by first due date etc and ended up having a 2nd mc round about the due date which really didn't help things. Do whatever is right for you and your husband/partner.

@KnitKitty it's so hard isn't it :-( I think having a break is a great idea I just don't think I can do it without really upsetting myself. My due date for my first mc (quite late) is approaching and I desperately wanted to be pregnant by then.

In terms of crappy tv I recommend greys anatomy (guilty pleasure!) good for a laugh and a sob!! I watched 4 seasons in a week when I lost my first !

In regards to the line, I personally felt a lot of relief when I got a negative test after my mcs. It helps you move on I think knowing it's all complete and the start of a new cycle. I hope you get that too xx

@goodlordwhathappened I totally understand. I'm contemplating taking a break from TTC but I feel in two minds about it for the same reasons you mentioned above. I had a chat with OH and he thinks it's a good idea. Just for a month of two to take the pressure off. I think we might take a not trying but not preventing approach and maybe try avoiding DTD too close to ovulation.

Thanks for asking, I'm feeling ok. Still bleeding a bit but looks like it's trying to stop now. I didn't cry yesterday for the first time since Thursday last week!
Have been doing a lot of baking and knitting and watching crappy films. I don't feel relaxed though. Just feeling on edge all the time which is starting to get really irritating. Did another test this morning and the line is still there but a lot, lot fainter now so might help my moments of denial stop.

How is everyone else today?

Morning all :-) how is everyone today? I'm in the tww. Don't think I've caught this month so just waiting for next cycle. Today I realised how much I think about all this stuff :-/ I'm driving myself around the bend! Don't think I could cope with having a break as the only thing keeping me going is knowing we are proactively trying. My doctors here will do tests after 2 mcs, I've had two chemicals and two mcs. I'm trying to think even if I get pregnant again and lose it we will start to move forward with finding a reason at least! That sounds awful doesn't it! I hope you all know what I mean.

@knitkitty how are you? Feeling any better physically?

@whiteonesugar congratulations! I'm crossing my fingers for you! I know how hard it is to enjoy a pregnancy after you've had losses so I hope you're okay :-) xx

@hopeful I had two per day and tended to do it at 7am and 10pm so again not an even split. I used the back entrance too, I've had chronic constipation this pregnancy and it made no difference at all to that. I've read that it's absorbed pretty quickly so I don't think leakage should be too much of a worry. An excuse to put your feet up on the sofa in an evening maybe?

@whiteonesugar fingers crossed for you.

Thanks @Laney79

Thanks @hopefulforarainbow fingers eyes and legs crossed x

Congrats @whiteonesugar - keeping everything crossed for you x

Congratulations @whiteonesugar. 🤞for us!

Thanks @KnitKitty you and me both!

Fingers crossed for you @whiteonesugar. Really hope it's sticky! xx

Ok here we go again.

BFP last night at 10dpo, confirmed with FRER this morning, 11dpo.

Lines look decent strength, and i'm taking comfort from the fact i got a BFP with my DS on 10dpo too, so thats a positive sign.

LMP date was actually a miscarriage, so this is super quick but I feel ok so far.

Can post a pic if you like but wont if its gonna upset anyone, I know what its like.

@annelovesgilbert and @miami81 and anyone else on cyclogest. Does there have to be a certain time between doses? Days I'm working I need to do it around 5.30am before I leave the house and won't be able to do evening dose until around 9.30pm when I go to bed. Could do it half hour earlier but Still up then and worried about too much leakage and therefore not getting the enough of it. If I'm working the next day there's only 7.5-8 hours between doses. The consultant only mentioned putting it up front. Didn't mention back at all plus I have ibs so not keen on that idea anyway.
Hope you're doing well. I've been finding this week quite tough as in the past this is the week it's gone wrong. 🤞 for a good scan next week