TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3

Oh that's fantastic news @Anne! I have been checking back every half hour or so to see if you'd posted anything! So happy for you. How many weeks does that make you now?
I can't decide if I'm going to start taking the b6 or not. Really thought AF was starting yesterday especially when there was a clot and I felt like crap. It seems to have pretty mich stopped now. Would be too soon for AF and if it isn't what the hell is it?! Just over a week til holiday. Can't bloody wait!

Thank you munchie x

Not a clue. I asked if it caused the last bleed and he said maybe but can't be 100%. He said it if goes it'll be dramatic but not dangerous so useful to have a heads up. I'm sure it would still shit me right up but I wouldn't assume I was losing it and I haven't had a peep since the previous weekend. It's at the opposite end of the placenta to the sac.

RMC for you tomorrow? How are you feeling about it? How are you feeling in general?

Ahhhhhhh @Anne that's amazing news!! So relieved for you 😀😀😀
Does he know what's caused the clot?x

Phew. A very alive wriggly baby.

Massive clot off the placenta that may or may not bleed like a bastard at some point. He said to expect it to happen and not to worry as it won't affect the baby.

If I do bleed I need to up the cyclogest and I've got another course of ABs to take but not till after we're back as apparently the side effects are grim.

We are so so relieved. I sobbed all over a sandwich in the canteen after.

Thanks for kind wishes team

I can currently only see it going well because the prospect of it not is too much for my tiny brain to handle this morning. So travelling hopefully.... Bit stressed about how the hell we're going to track him down, I have his scrawl on an old letter with orders to find him in an assessment unit before he goes into theatre! Gotta love a cloak and dagger scan.

So heartbroken to read your post @CurlyTwirlyTwos, what you're going through echoes so strongly with where I was when I had my 5 week mc immediately after my 12 week mmc. It was too soon for either of us mentally and the shock and pain of going through it all AGAIN so fucking soon was nearly the worst time I've had in this whole sorry journey so far. Holding your hand tightly and please remember we're all here for you and can empathise with your pain and disappointment

Good luck today @AnneLovesGilbert

Come back whenever you feel ready @CurlyTwirlyTwos, there will always be a lovely group of ladies waiting to hold your hand.

Good luck @anne

Thinking of you @Anne, hope your scan goes well today xx

Oh @CurlyTwirlyTwos I'm sooo sorry to read your post!! Such an awful time. Great advice and responses from the girls as always- I hope you get more info and advice tomorrow from the GP/EPAU. We are always here for you xx

We'll be here for you @CurlyTwirlyTwos whenever you need to chat. I don't know how I'd have coped without this group. Thinking of you and sending lots of love and hugs xxx

Thankyou @Miami81 @Hopefulforourrainbow @MissPMA and @Labmum - you’ve responded so quickly, and been so kind and supportive, thank you so much. I found it hard to keep it together at my desk this afternoon.

I took your advice and called the GP, only to have a voicemail saying that they were shut 12-5pm today for staff training! I had a ‘the universe is against me moment’. The EPAU number I didn’t have on me, I didn’t have time to chase it up. I should have made time.

I’ll get on it tomorrow and see whether anyone will see me. I’m still testing positive this evening, but a fainter line. I feel numb, but have to take steps to be referred to rmc.

I’ve managed to get through dinner and bath (DH is doing bed now). We chatted after nursery about this morning and explained that mummies get upset too, DD was so sweet.

Thank you for your messages, it means a lot. I didn’t feel so alone this afternoon.

I’m planning to have a bath and climb into bed asap.

Even though I said I’d take a break, I had to come back! Thanks once again xx

Oh @CurlyTwirlyTwos I'm so so sorry. As others have said may be worth ringing local EPU to see if they'll check your HCG levels? Then at least its on record and they can refer you to the RMC direct instead of GP. They may also have a contact detail for a couselling service you can contact (or if you've got a long wait you could see if your workplace offers couselling).

Please don't worry about crying in front of your daughter, it may be confusing for her but its a completely natural and healthy emotion. Maybe just have a sit down with her tonight and explain that sometimes Mummy's get sad too but you are ok and its nothing she did or didn't do. Then have a cuddle up on the sofa and watch a film together. Hold her tight! I never realised just how precious DS was until my losses. A little miracle. Sneak into her bedroom tonight and just watch her peaceful sleeping face (it helps me in the dark times!).

Sending huge hugs, take care!

Oh @curly I'm so sorry to read this. I agree with @Miami and think, although you probably don't feel like it, it might be worth contacting them today. We put ourselves through a hell of a lot. I'm hoping the break hubby and I have had will do us good.
God knows what's happening with my cycle! Started bleeding this morning at cd27. Only got positive opk 5 days ago and it's heavier than the usual spotting I get after ovulation.

I’ve not been posting here really but have been keeping on eye everyone’s news. @curly I just wanted to say I’m incredibly sorry that you’ve started to bleed. From my experience even when it’s happened early and I’ve tried hard to not get my hopes up the impact has still been devastating, please be kind to yourself and try to take it easy. For my previous one at 5 weeks I took some time off work, physically I was ok but I really needed that space to get my head straight, Could that be an option for you? And please don’t beat yourself up about getting upset in front of your daughter, you are only human and I promise that she won’t remember it. Counselling sounds like a great idea, i’ve just made the same decision and find it a daunting prospect. Sending hugs to you

Hello Ladies, I’ve been awol for a while after being away. The thread has moved quickly!

@beanhunter – I really hope that things are okay, the numbers are sounding positive. It’s horrible though. I really felt for you being away when you started bleeding.

@AnneLovesGilbert and @Miami89 – wow – lovely reading the thread! Things sound really positive for you both now! Massive congratulations to keeponrunning85 too! I know I’ve not been around for long, but it’s still lovely to read about a birth after rmc.

I sadly do not have a happy update here. AF was due in the holiday and didn’t arrive, I suspected that I might have fallen before it was due, even though we only dtd twice in fertile week, I didn’t have any expectations for this month though. However the boobs were tingling and heavy, I had that ‘pregnant’ feeling and suspected that I might be. I went to the local farmacia and got a bfp result mid-way through the holiday to confirm. Surreptitiously switched my drinks to low-alcohol/alcohol free versions, as we have been away with DHs family.

I was cautious about the bfp, as you all know – you never get excited now with positive pregnancy result after rmc. I thought I would deal with the positive outcome when I got home, and ‘put it on hold’ in my mind.

We arrived home yesterday, and tentatively forming plans to go to the doctor and organise early scans etc. as I am not under a rmc clinic. I started bleeding this morning before work.

I have to say, even though I didn’t get my hopes up and thought I was being neutral (in my mind) – this really has knocked me for six. I am absolutely heart broken. This is happening to me again. I’m currently keeping my head down, busying myself at work, and not talking to many people. But I was absolutely distraught this morning in a way that surprised me.

I feel awful. I frightened my daughter before nursery – I don’t think she’s seen me so upset. DH had to go to work. I went to work. I’ve traumatised everyone.

I only got to 5 weeks – it never got going. But why? What is wrong with me? Last night before the bleed, we dared to hope this might be the one. A small glimmer of ‘this is the one, this time’.
I know I have not processed it properly yet – but it’s I’m going to take a break. I have to. I was very fragile after the last mmc – perhaps it was stupid to ttc again so soon. After 4 mmc under a year, it is also time to finally see a doctor which I feel irrationally worried about. I worry about the reasons they will give me, or I face the fact that I’m infertile. I have been sticking my head in the sand and hoping I’ll get lucky, and everything will work out.

I’m not sure if the doctor will even take me seriously. Of the 3 previous mmc they only know about 2. I’ve not ‘reported’ it this time or the other 5 week mmc.

It is also time to see a counsellor. I’ve never broken down in front of my DD before. This morning was unlike anything before. I have sobbed, and cried and cried this year – but never like this, and NEVER in front of my daughter. I feel like a terrible mother, I’ve never felt so down.

From reading this thread - I am in awe of what you have all gone through, and still going through whilst working, looking after your families and dealing with the consequences of RMC. I don’t know how you do it. Currently, I quite simply can’t.

I’m going to take a break from the thread for a while, and get my head together. I need to discuss with DH what our next steps are, we haven’t spoken with us all rushing back to work this morning.

I’m so sorry as you’ve all been so lovely and kind. You all seem to be going through such a positive time too! I’m so pleased for you all, you know this is a rough time, and you should be looking after yourselves.

Hopefully I'll be back soon xxx

Yeah we plan to start trying again next month. Period due next week then fertile towards end of holiday and going by this month due to ovulate a few days after getting home. Maybe I will just take the b6. I'm sure there's other benefits to it too!
I am feeling very positive for you all this time round. 🤞 for good news on Friday. I got an email from manager at fertility clinic after complaining about rmc. She is going to discuss at their next management meeting, has offered an appointment with a different consultant which I already have for end Sept and has offered counselling. I think chatting to you lot is the only counselling I need! It's not my husband's kind of thing either.

12 days is fine hopeful, mine's always been around then and I've got pregnant loads! Hollow laugh about the difficulties of fucking staying pregnant aside, I do think that's fine and probably normal for a lot of people. From what little I know it's under 10 that's an issue. And you're right, the got pregnant twice had two kids brigade make us all a bit crazy. Bastards.

Is there anything stopped you cracking on next cycle once you've enjoyed your holiday?

I'm dealing with a load of shit at work and I'm just too tired to keep my sense of humour about it tbh. I've got brain ache, body weariness, I'm not the size of a fucking house. My mental state is fine apart from tired grumpiness and I now seem to have a nightly cry at whatever's on TV. Last night it was North Koreans reuniting with long long relatives on the news and Queer Eye on Netflix. It's a mini outlet for the many feelings!

Scan Thursday and booking in friday. Found myself worrying about the logistics if Thursday is bad news as we've got the kids and are going away a couple of days after. But no point worrying ahead of time, we'll just handle it if it happens.

That's fab news @Miami. Have been thinking of you.
Symptoms come and go @bean. Your hcg levels were good so hopefully all will be ok.
I'm ok thanks @Anne. On nights again 😴 and counting down the days to our holiday. Haven't started taking anything yet. The b6 arrived today. Hubby isn't going away straight after our holiday now so I'm in two minds about taking it. My cycle is too long at 35 days and ovulating around day 21-23 is late too. Is 12 day luteal phase ok? O wish we could just have sex, get pregnant then have a baby like so many other people seem to do! They don't realise how lucky they are! How are you doing? Remind me when your next appointment is.

Freaking out today. No nausea. Not tired. Crap.

Fantastic news!! Congrats Miami!

Ahhh @Miami that's amazing! So happy for you 😀😀😀 Will you have another scan next week?
Hope your tooth feels better soon x