TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3

I don't suppose I have to know and if i don't pack opk I can't use them! It would just have been interesting to know if I was ovulating earlier. Suppose there's other ways of telling too. Hope you manage to enjoy the wedding. It does suck when there's so many others around who are where we want to be.

Hopeful, if it were me, I'd wait until the next month to see if the B6 does make a difference... Avoiding opks on holiday sounds like a good call, and I'd want to know what it was doing, if anything.

But then I might just be a little bit of a control freak, so maybe depends how much the knowing matters to you?

Glad you've got some clarity, Hopeful, and you can just enjoy that amazing holiday! My periods just never seem to do the same thing month to month any more since miscarriages - just another complication to get your head around, I guess!

We've got a wedding this weekend and I'm trying to gear up to being in the right mood for it - lots of old friends with new babies / babies on the way...😐 I'll get there!

Congratulations, MissPMA. I can totally imagine what you're feeling, but I'm keeping everything crossed for you. I'm just at the end of the fertile window and we we decided to get back on the case straight away this month, too - I just hated the feeling of waiting while we don't even have any appointments through yet. But now we're on the other side of that, I can just feel the creeping anxiety that we'll either not get pregnant this time, or that we will and then I can just look forward to miscarriage number four. Such weirdly mixed feelings.

I think I need to work on my PMA, and I'm totally with you on the envy of those it's straightforward for, Hopeful! Ah, I really miss the days when I was just happily naïve to this whole world...

Good morning ladies. Clots this morning so looks like AF has arrived properly. Fuck knows what's been going on this month! Now to pack my suitcase, go get my nails done then enjoy cocktails, fine food, sun and 2 whole weeks with my hubby! Do I take the b6 in hope I ovulate towards end of holiday?! Don't want to be using opk when away and would like to know if it's worked.
How are you all doing? Anything nice planned for the weekend? When's the next appointments?

Thank you. Yeah bright red maybe is a good sign. We only did have sex 3 times the whole month too and used condoms each time. I really wish we could all enjoy the ttc and pregnancy experience. So envious of those it's straight forward for!

I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better and bright red is a really good sign, maybe your cycle is a little out of sync and it will be a lighter period than normal. It’s easier said than done to put things to the back of our minds but I hope by the time you go away you’re feeling more reassured about things. I’ve not told my husband yet that I tested positive as he’s out tonight (although I know he strongly suspects as I turned down a glass of wine on Monday) and I’m in work early tomorrow so will be breaking it to him in the evening, when I got pregnant with our 2 sons and for the first 2 miscarriages I would tell him with a little note or one of the boys wearing a tshirt or some other happy way but now it’s more of a case oh crap we’re about to go through another difficult time!

I'm feeling much better thanks. I think it was a migraine. Had one last month too which was first one. Still bleeding, bright red but not nearly as heavy as normal period. Not sure if I should test again tomorrow or Friday or just put it to back of my mind, class this as period and try to enjoy our holiday. My husband would say the latter! He's away so haven't even spoken to him about any of this.

Thanks @hopeful, last time started with the exact same spotting so I’m preparing myself for the worst and anything else will be a nice surprise. How are you feeling now?

Thanks @anna, it is a weird feeling of really wanting to be pregnant but not wanting to be because of what will probably happen next. I’ve stopped beating myself up over testing, I suspected that I was pregnant anyway and rationally I know it’s better to know for sure. I’m not really sure of next steps, I don’t really want to do anything but wait it out but I’m waiting for my rmc appointment to come through so I just might give them a call tomorrow

Sending hugs and congratulations @misspma. I also get that feeling and just because you've been spotting it doesn't mean you're going to lose this baby too. Will keep everything crossed for you xx

What are your next steps?

Bloody hell missPMA, congratulations. Don’t be pissed off either at having tested or for what you’ve been through. I recognise the feeling about not being pregnant so at least you can’t be about to face the trauma of going through yet another loss and the slightly sick fearful feeling of getting back on the rollercoaster. It’s inevitable but of course it sucks. Sending you a hug x

Aaargh I’m so annoyed with myself, 14dpo and spotting for 4 days. I’ve been sure for a couple of days that I’m pregnant but absolutely did not want to do a test, I’d rather put the spotting down to a strange start to my period and my coffee aversion down to a cold. But no, I just caved and got a bfp, not even a squinter,I’m so pissed off right now at me for testing and for my body which is very likely gearing up for yet another miscarriage, ffs!

I did for a few days before a bfp in Feb then continued to spot until proper bleeding started and I miscarried. Other than that it's just been a day or 2. If i had a bfp then I'd go and get hcg checked today and Friday. We go on Saturday for 2 weeks. This whole thing is messing with my head!

Do you normally have any spotting before AF, Hopeful? Mine has been different for the months after each miscarriage, too, so it can be hard to tell normal even is, can't it?

When are you due to go off on holiday? I'm sure there are loads of little things that could be going on, but would you go and get checked out before you travel to feel reassured if nothing changes?

Sorry it's so shit. The number of different ways this can mess with you is amazing.

Yeah so frustrating. Hard to know what to do for the best. I personally would have the first lot of bloods at least. It could be something as simple as an issue with your thyroid. Though obvs totally up to you.
I feel horrendous today. Bleeding is still strange. More red but lighter than a normal period and this past week of spotting has really freaked me out. Got a horrible headache I can't seem up shift and have been sick today. I had a headache like this last month around af time too. I just want it to start properly! Tested again this morning, bfn and cd34 of 33-35 day cycle unless this is CD 1 or 2 as bleeding is more red. I can't even get excited about my holiday as I'm terrified I might be pregnant 😭

Thanks again Miami and Hopeful for the info... It's all just so frustrating, isn't it? Waiting more months for tests that probably aren't going to tell us much feels like a kicker. It does sometimes feel like every choice you can make could be the wrong one but there's just no way of knowing.

I'm partly wondering whether if I "just do" miscarry frequently then perhaps the best chance of getting there, is simply to keep going...

That's what I've been told in the epu when it comes to progesterone, too, Miami. There's just a part of me that thinks while the research isn't conclusive yet, I like the idea of a clinic that's open to possible options... But then that obviously flies in the face of what I was just saying, so it's safe to say I haven't really got a clue what I make of all this!

Hopefully better days tomorrow, oddsbobbins

Thanks for the welcome everyone. Had a bit of a cry at my manager when she asked how I was doing, but hoping things turn around tomorrow. I'm with you ruanna and munchies on the fluctuating mood, I have days when I feel fine and then suddently I'm really down and there's not much I can do about it.

How scary for you beanhunter, I really hope things turn out ok and you're able to rest up a bit over the next few days.

I was referred on 16th March and had appointment on 30th April. First bloods came back positive for lupus anticoagulant antibodies. Had repeat bloods on 23rd July which then cane back negative. Saw consultant in between times which was a complete waste of time. We decided to stop trying before 1st lot of bloods then try again though after being a few days late decided a break would do us good.

@Miami81, thank you for the welcome, and thank you for sharing that. I'm so sorry to hear about your early losses and the loss of your DD.

I have to admit I had considered that some tests might not be possible if I were to be pregnant, but figured if I still were by the time our appointment came around then maybe things might be going a little better by some miracle. I hadn't thought about some tests not being possible if I'd had a recent pregnancy though, so thank you, that is helpful to know. Sorry for all the questions, but do you happen to know how long after a pregnancy that applies?

My hormones were tested when we hadn't conceived for ten months a couple of years ago and I was 35. Apparently all fine then, and when we moved recently my new GP repeated them and all in range again. With the MMC and the first six week miscarriage, I had some tests at the epu before we knew the outcomes and progesterone was very low when HCG was still very high both times - I've no idea, maybe that's always the case in miscarriage, though... I think I'm being every doctor's nightmare by trying to piece together things I don't know much about... It's hard not to try, though

Good news for today, Bean. Will keep things very much crossed it continues that way for you.

Thanks, Munchies, and sorry you're feeling so shit today. I don't know about you, but I find it really swings between feeling more determined I can press on, and then the next minute / hour / day, really not so good. I hope you're feeling more up soon. We saw the GP last week and DH has had to skip off and do his thing with a plastic pot today before they can make a referral - he's never actually done the SA tests before as just as we got to that point I was pregnant the first time around. So we're assuming all will be well on that front, but still have to just tick that box.

Hopeful, yes, my MMC had stopped at a similar time to the other two MC, as well. I don't know if that all points to a certain thing or not... I've always had in the back of my mind (for a lot of years pre TTC even) that I might have issues with progesterone levels but my 21 day test always said that was fine - the GP we saw last week wasn't able to say, but was open to the idea that this still could be a problem in spite of tests being in the "normal" range. I'm finding it a bit confusing trying to work out which RMC we should ask to be referred to and whether one that's still open to trying progesterone would be a good thing or not... Does anyone have a better understanding of all of that or know which clinics have what stance on it?

We were really unsure about whether to keep trying or not before we see the RMC, but it's now crunch time for this month and we've decided to keep on. This time I don't like the idea of not doing something even if I'm not exactly optimistic about it. I felt differently last time, but I'm feeling pretty sensitive about my age and the constant reminders that time is an issue (not helped by recently being told this can happen when women "choose to wait" - not exactly how it went, but thanks for the judgement, that's helpful, Mr GP!)