TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3

Wow that is quite a list!
I have suffered with spots and facial hair since my first pregnancy 18 months ago but the hair definitely increases when I'm pregnant, the spots however improve and go to different places of my face.
I was bloated which I presume was more progesterone related but most days that's improved since the scan.
I always get shivvery when pregnant but that's also improve in the last week.
I get the odd cramp but mainly backache which has been a bit more in the last week. My whole body has been aching.
Normally start getting nauseous and then very sick from 6-7 weeks which I haven't had or any food adversions. Water tastes different to me too but that's all.
I have felt very dizzy since Saturday like I have low blood pressure but I put it down to my body getting ready to miscarry.
You are on so much progesterone. I'm only on 200mg twice a day. They didn't seem bothered about testing my progesterone levels last time so I take it they'll just leave me on that x

Can you postpone the appointment? There's still time. I was seen so quickly for my booking I think it was probably a cancellation. Don't put yourself through it if it's going to make you feel worse. You could easily wait a week or more if not going tomorrow gives you the week to juts hunker and hide out.

It's not in your head, I totally relate to the feeling you've had, but there is a baby in there and maybe it's taking a while to make itself and its little heartbeat visible to you. Prepare for the worst so you can face it if it happens and hope for the best because things are in much better shape than they were before today and it might just be okay

What symptoms have you had? They can definitely come and go and everything still be okay. My boobs are killing now but they didn't kick in till about week 7 which was different from before. I've always had heartburn in previous pregnancies and only had it once this time.

Apart from the boobs I have super smell and a whole bunch of other things that might be drugs related rather than pregnancy related. I usually have loads of hair on my head and not much below the eyebrows and I now have neck fluff, face fluff, loads more hair on my thighs, some on my belly. Face skin is a delight but I have awful spots on my neck, and my upper back and my chest are dry and have loads of tiny sore bits on. Looks hideous and is quite painful. Massive boobs and a belly that looks 5 or 6 months gone at a mere 12 weeks, loads of CM, some ovulation type aches on both sides, dizziness, bits of backache, protein cravings, hate the smell of water. Some of it's probably progesterone (now on 5 x 400mg pessaries a day), some of it's steroids, some of it might be normal pregnancy hormones.

Sorry @FMU cross post. How are you?x

Thank you @laura

@Anne I totally get your anxiety with the children and their innocence- children are extremely resilient though and hopefully it will be a completely different outcome to all the previous ones. It's very positive so far. Unfortunately I've never to go that stage either so bit unsure about the details however I did presume you get measurements on the day and results days/weeks later.
How are your symptoms? Do you feel any different to previous pregnancies?

No I definitely expected to have no progression today as my symptoms before have definitely lessened. Makes me feel like it's all in my head. I know some if it is progesterone related but I feel like even those ones have reduced even though I'm still on the pessarys.
I feel like I prepared my husband and parents for the outcome, planned what treatment to have and even got a hospital bag ready with pads etc so I literally have no clue what is happening. Now that there's a baby there I'm now really wanting to see an improvement next week whereas straight from the previous scan I prepared for the worse today.

It's a bit annoying as I also have the 8 week midwife appointment already booked for tomorrow so rather than rearranging I'm planning to go, fill the paperwork in for the millionth time just in case there is the tiniest chance it carries on progressing x

How are you FMU? Keeping you in my thoughts all the time at the moment.

anne if they take your NT measurements they can tell you there and then if there's any concerns etc, they're usually pretty transparent, especially if they can see you're anxious

Hi ladies... Have just been lurking for a while, how is everyone?

They're utter shite. I think Statham might do an accent as well But I was bouncing off the walls and couldn't hack anything with dialogue or emotions or anything like that so we just did the action section in netflix and then stayed up all night watching Trump win the election. Was a right bastard of a week tbh but Jason got us through it

I also remember watching a lot of Made in Chelsea when I was off work once with a horrific ear infection. Total pap. Was ace.

What a head fuck, I don't blame you for being confused by what they've said. The wait between scans always seems madness. But then I know they want a follow up one to be more conclusive.

I know with rmc you start to doubt yourself all the bloody time but do you have any instinct at all about what's going on? How are your symptoms?

I'm alright thanks. Started to panic a lot last night about the kids knowing and who they'll tell and what the fuck we'll do if we get bad news. They're totally on board with the possibility that pregnancies don't always turn into babies - wish they weren't tbh and they don't know about any of our losses but it still seems a shame they've lost their innocence at this age! - but they're going to be fucking heartbroken if it all goes wrong and we'll have them to worry about as well as ourselves.

DH gave me a bit of a talking to about calming the fuck down, which was what I needed, and reiterating how good the last scan was, how pleased our consultant was. But the consultant did say to wait a few more weeks before telling anyone, and that's been bugging me. He might have meant to get past the screening scan. I just wish I could relax. I've had the odd moment of sort of mental wellbeing and applying logic - we're further than we've ever been, I'm rattling with pills and blood thinners, had 4 good scans etc etc - but I've basically turned into a full time worrier and I'm annoying myself hugely.

Scan Wednesday. Never having had a good one of those, do you get results on the day? I know the bloods take a few weeks but surely measurements from the actual scan are told to you at the time?

Been thinking of you @Munchies89 might still be early to see a heartbeat yet. Sending you a virtual hug. Xx

Ha I've never watched those so might give them a go...although I tend to stick to extremely trashy real life tv which is even worse.
Well they seemed happy that in 10 days there's now a 2mm baby but they've booked me to see a consultant next time rather than back to a nurse at the early pregnancy unit so not sure what that means.
So I should be 8+3 from lmp but more 7+ from ovulation. They're saying I'm about 5 and a half weeks from measurements.
It's hard to explain to other people that when you've had this amount of miscarriages etc you know exactly when you've ovulated and had sex so I really don't get it. I did ask if there was a possibility that I had ovulated twice and it was the second one that caught but the nurse didn't really think it was possible to ovulate twice....even though it is. But then I remembered that we only had sex twice when ovulating and that was the same day. Also I had a positive test from 3+6 from lmp.
So another week in limbo

How are you?x

Oh munchies, your head must be scrambled. Definitely good to take the time off work. You need to rest and do whatever helps you right now. When the chips are really down and I don't want to think about feelings, I'm a big fan of action films. The (fucking AWFUL) Transporter movies got us through the shit days of my first MMC.

Seeing a baby is good news. What did they say about no heartbeat? What are you now for dates? Is it a waiting and seeing follow up scan or a confirming bad news scan?

Oh munchies. That’s sounding tough but perhaps like there is some hope?

Thanks everyone.
So scan today now shows a baby but no heartbeat yet so another scan next Tuesday. Feels like it's prolonging the inevitable but we will see next week xx
Been thinking of you @bean. I've decided to have this week off work to rest also as the stress etc is getting too much.
I really appreciate the feedback regarding options. I've decided to go with another ERPC if needed as the tablet option sounds horrendous. Plus now there's a baby they'll test it for me like the others. So now hoping I don't naturally miscarry. It's all such a head f**k xx

Thinking of you munchies.
I think I overdid it yesterday as spotted much more so trying to take it super easy today.

Sending love @Munchies89, will check in to see how you get on x

Thinking of you today @Munchies89. Hoping you won't need to consider options. Afraid I'm not much help, all 3 of mine were natural. I think I'd choose ERPC even though I'm terrified of going under anaesthetic having never been knocked out before. I've sat with a friend on a ward whilst she had an abortion using the tablets back in our student days and it was just awful so I'd never consider that option. That may not be what you want to hear, it was the whole environment as well as the process has really scarred me mentally.

@AnneLovesGilbert many congratulations! Good to have a group of girls who know what we're feeling. Xx

I hope you don’t me hanging around even though I’m currently pregnant. This is such a lovely group of women and I’m still wobbly as hell about it all so feel comfy in your company.

Hey Anne, thank you very much, it's good to chat to you girls and being part of the gang! 🙂 Xx

Hey laura, haven’t said hi to you yet. Welcome to our gang

Oh bless you odd, I’m terrible for getting fits of hysterics at the worst times. I figure it’s better out than in and sod what anyone else thinks. Conversely I also sob when I’m happy or things go well. When I’ve had bad scans in the past I don’t emote at all and can crack on just fine with whatever needs sorting. When we had our good scan just about 10 days ago I got through it okay and the relief that this one might actually work overtook me in the loo and I bawled for about half an hour. DH knows me well but my poor consultant was appalled and kept saying nothings wrong, you can be happy and I kept crying and saying I know, I know, I can’t believe, I’m just happy

My clinic is ridiculous about scans and I had an appointment when I got my bfp at 3+5 they insisted I had a scan and all they could see was “a thick endometrium”. I’m sure it’s all fine and in nestled in the right place. Everything crossed for you.

munchie, I desperately hope you don’t need to go through your options and your scan brings reassurance all is well. Sending many thoughts to you. I had medical management with my first mmc which unfortunately didn’t work and ended up having the surgery under a local, which I also don’t recommend... I found out at 12 week scan the baby had stopped growing at 8+5 so they didn’t want me to wait for it to pass naturally and I turn had two lots of medical management neither of which worked. In my head I wanted to go through the process and be at home as a way of coming to terms with it but despite quite a lot of bleeding I knew it wasn’t really happening and some tissue got stuck so in the end it wasn’t going to as my cervix Judy wouldn’t properly open. They said it was unusual for it not to work on two doses but my cervix seems to be very stubborn and even with a 5 week natural mc and a chemical it took a week even once hcg was way down to happen.

If you need to, ask for the likely outcome of medical and what they suggest. With my April mmc the consultant suggested an ERPC straight away and it was a relative breeze. Quick, painless, staff were so kind and supportive, recovery was pretty quick. I also went in rested and in control whereas the previous time I was exhausted, in terrible pain, scared, very emotional and wiped out. Took me a lot longer to get over it afterwards.

I hope that’s not unhelpful to you, it’s only one experience. If I have to go through it again then I’d pick ERPC again. Knock me out, get me home as quickly as possible to sleep. The emotional toll it all takes is enough, I don’t need the physical trauma as well. It wasn’t even the cramps, it’s the grinding awful back ache I’ve had with miscarriages that saps the life out of me.

@oddsbobbins I'm hoping so! Wait and see for the next few days. Xx

@munchies I don’t really have any advice, all of mine were natural but for the first one I lost a lot of blood and ended up in hospital so if I got to a similar stage again and had to decide I think I would go for the op. I’m sorry that you are having to think about this and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for your scan tomorrow.
@oddsbobbins I’m sorry you had to go through that today, it must have been scary when she started mentioning etopics. To try to reassure you on the day I found out I was pregnant with my ds1 I was booked in for a scan as we’d been ttc for a long time, so I told the lady I was 4weeks pregnant and she said that it was too early and there would be nothing to see, so try not to worry although I know that’s not easy when you’ve had previous losses. I’m 17dpo, hardly any spotting today, I had kind of accepted on Thursday it was all over but don’t know what to think now and trying not to get my hopes up

@Lauraliverpool hopefully implntation spotting, fx for you on Weds.

@Munchies89 - I've had one each way, for me the surgical management was better as medical management was pretty painful and the memory of having a mini labour at home is one I still struggle with. That said, some people find the idea of a surgical procedure harder to deal with, and it's such an individual choice. If I had to have medical management again I would ask for anti-nausea pills as feeling sick and in pain was particularly unpleasant for me.

My scan today was darkly hilarious. I let the very lovely radiographer know that I'd tested positive but that I expected I wasn't even at 4 weeks yet so there probably wouldn't be anything to see. My fibroids don't seem to be a huge problem, but she couldn't find where the pregnancy was located. Because pregnancy isn't her area, she started to worry I'm having an ectopic and wanted to send me straight off to the EPU. (Cue questions such as- do I know what the EPU is? Oh yes, yes I do.) Around this point I started laughing helplessly and found it hard to stop. DH and I were then sent back off to the waiting room while she made various calls, before bringing us back in to say there's probably nothing to worry about as it's still so early, but she'll write to my GP and advise I get referred to the EPU. DH doesn't seem to find this all quite as hilarious as I do, may be losing the plot a bit.

@Munchies89 I'm really not sure, I've got the backache and I'm spotting brown and light red I'm going to see what it's like on wed and might test. I really hope everything will be ok for you, might just be old blood. I had surgery for my most recent miscarriage and I'm glad I did because my first miscarriage I had medical management which you have like a mini labour I will be honest with you and don't want to scare you but it was horrendous all part of a miscarriage is no matter what way you look at it. They give you one set of tablets then tell you to come in 48hrs later for the second lot. I did a test as advised by the hospital and it was still positive so went in for surgery but I was scared about being put asleep, so they gave me tablets again which failed and in the end had surgery which I think helps you heal in some way emotionally to heal and don't want it to sound bad but it's not dragged out. Xx