Hi guys,
I'm looking to chat to some non-judgemental mums out there, I'm 21, I've been with my partner for 3 years nearly and we've lived together pretty much since we got together,
we've always wanted a baby but now I'm getting really broody and don't want to carry on with contraception. However I found out a few weeks ago that my partner had chatted sexually to a girl online, this was only for 2 hours and he did ask if she wanted to meet him in a park but he didn't go (I have proof of this), he also admitted to doing this twice more in the past but only speaking to them for a couple of hours then deleting them/not talking to them anymore. I want to make it work and give him a second chance, I have told him if this ever happens again then we will be finished. He understands this and was very remorseful, he was completely honest with me which if he wasn't honest with me then I would of broke it off there and then. I also want to add that he's got major depression but like most men he doesn't talk about it and doesn't like going to the doctors, this will sound bad but I feel like at least he's being honest type of thing with the reason as to why he did it and that was an escape from reality (due to his depression) obviously it's an awful excuse and very much unacceptable, I told him that and as I said if he hadn't of been honest I would of broken it off there and then, but I'm going to give him a second chance, a final chance.
Since that happened and we spoke about things, I realised where I had neglected him and vice versa we have been really good, I'm just worried this is going to be a honeymoon phase part 2 and it'll go back to how it was... but so far so good. He says he wants a baby but I don't think he realises how much work a child will be and how much he will have to sacrifice. I don't think anyone truely understands until they have a child but I am aware it's not easy at all. I feel as if I'm ready for a baby, I don't go out partying, I don't do drugs and I rarely drink but the problem is for me is that I have schizophrenia which isn't great, but I'm on tablets for it and it is under control, however I am still worried... but this is what it's going to be like forever now on tablets with schizophrenia so in that sense I don't think it's going to change and that shouldn't stop me from having a baby.
My credit score is shockingly bad so I can't get a mortgage but my partner can, which is what he'll be doing in October, he's also learning to drive so in essence I feel like we'll be ready physically just whether we'll be ready mentally? I feel like I am but obviously how you feel can be different to what you are.
I know I'm still really young and there's a load of red flags but I do feel like I'm ready, a lot of people might think I'm wanting to have a baby to fix our relationship but I feel like we're fixing that without a baby and it does take some time, and I've been wanting a baby for years, I just happen to be extremely broody at the moment.
I just want to hear some advice, your stories, whether you've been in a similar place etc. I know a lot of people will tell me to live my life first but there's nothing I want to do where I couldn't take a child with me or do with a child etc.
thank you for reading :)