Over 40 ttc - August baby dust for me!

Hi all, Ive been missing from the thread recently but have been trying to keep up! congrats on all the BFP's and @keepingthefaith! amazing..

I just feel like utter shit today, one of those days... AF due today, was trying to book CD3 private blood tests but been ill with the cold last week as well as hubby and parents so looking after all, and everything just seems so damn complicated! overwhelmingly so!

My local private clinic say I need to book tests through a third party then they give me a token and then I schedule a consultation and then I get my tests taken, am I being silly in thinking I pay them for a hormonal profile, they take the blood tests and send me my results which I then forward on to my chosen IVF clinic (abroad)

I am not sure if its just my head thats messed up and I'm not thinking straight but can I not just pay privately for blood tests and receive my results?!!

argghhhhh!!!! sorry if I sound so damn stupid, I really feel it!

Faith - thank you for the info, thats really helpful. I went to the zita west ivf clinic for an open evening recently and met her. She made some interesting points, and I did purchase some inositol & folate afterwards (cheap ebay version) so am now on that. She did also mention at the evening that most IVF will not for over 40's unless all tests came back really good, like that of a younger person. Interestingly though, a lot of people in the room were over 40.

Where did you get you DHEA and what does it do?

Good to hear from you orchid. Hope you are doing ok. I'm also back on the expensive TCM. Have you booked your IVF for November? Will you have to have more tests etc first? I have been considering IUI, as one of our problems is that DH has a mild 'dysfunction' so can't perform too often, meaning we sometimes miss-time things as it's hard for me to predict when ov will happen. Sometimes it's same day as +opk, sometimes 2 or 3 days later. I hope being monitored would clear up that situation. Although I don't know how it works for collecting the semen?

Sorry to hear you are struggling taxgirl, it is so hard when we have our hearts set on these things. Now the subject of Christmas has been coming up I just keep thinking I should have had a 2 week old baby on Christmas day this year

Mattsmamma I think while we are ovulating there is always a chance. Regardless of age.

Hi all,

Does anyone have trouble convincing DH to be up for it every month over fertile period? We have always been quite active in that area but now it seems that i really have to instigate it and the spontaneity is lacking. How do you do it month after month? I figured we are in this for the long haul so best to try and prepare myself.

My sis who is 46 and pregnant, i don't think it was ivf but not sure if she had any other assistance. She is really private about it, which is why it was such a shock for us when we found out.

I am currently on DHEA i was taking it in the 6 weeks prior to falling pregnant with DS. But symptoms can include insomnia and greasy hair if i take all 3 x 25mg doses and the last one late in the day. I am also doing wheatgrass shots.

I am not sure if either of these things have affected my cycle but i am now ovulating on CD14 instead of CD11/12 which i was before pregnancy. So i am ok with that.

Currently in my fertile week, DH and i call it the 'love week' but not sure how close to that it is atm as we are both so tired. I find this bit the most stressful, i.e. trying to get timing right amongst everything else. Wish i could relax more and just enjoy the special time we have together.

I also tried to surround myself with positive affirmations and images (changed my passwords to uplifting things etc, so I had to keep typing them daily)
This is a pic of what hangs in my car..
Its actually an Xmas dec but I find it so helpful each day. .. 🙏🏻

@Rose68, @Dabo and @LittleMimosa ... thank you for your best wishes, every day is a joy and a worry tbh, but I’m trying to relax as much as I can given my history...

Dabo - here is some info on what I did, including Zita West Consult... it took me about a year, once I started to really do it all properly ..

Stopped drinking
Cut down on caffeine
Went for a fertility MOT
Went to see Zita West for some advice on conception over 40 (see below)
Took the following vits:
Ubiquinol/CQ10
Vit B complex
EPO
Good quality pre natal multi-vitamin
5mg Folic Acid
DHEA - 50mg per day
When I knew I was ovulating I used Fertility Check (sperm friendly lubricant)
TCM - did acupuncture for 6 months and Chinese Herbs for 5 months
Used Progesterone Cream up until ovulation
Tracked my cervical mucous monthly to figure out my fertile window
Tried Clomid (private prescription - didn’t work but might have kick-started things....)

In terms of the appointment with Zita West, she is a midwife who has done very well for herself ... She isn’t a Dr but she’s made a lot of money gathering experts who know their stuff.

She basically said - she believes that the main reason most over 40’s can’t get pregnant is because they simply aren’t having enough sex...

So have lots of sex... and not just in your fertile window.. As we get older we ovulate earlier and so she recommended at the least having sex from day 6 of your cycle up until day 14 is necessary .. 😝

Also read your EWCM monthly as it changes.

And that over 40 there are key vitamins you need to increase your egg quality, and build up your lining. She doesn’t recommend IVF for women in their 40’s - says its a waste of money with your own eggs.

Said try to improve what you have, and look at vitamins to help with this (she suggested her range of Folic and Inorsitol) I never took these but I was on the verge of ordering them..

Morning ladies - sorry not posted for a while but I check in on this thread all the time. WEASLE. ORCHID, CLEO AND TAXGIRL I so get where your at. Feel exactly the same and here I am now at the beginning of yet another 2ww! I keep telling
myself this is the last time and this time I really do feel maybe it should be. I am now 49 the oldest on this thread and although I don’t feel my age one bit, every now and again the reality hits and give me a bit of a jolt However, my periods are still regular and I am still ovulating and I remember people such as Liz Earle and think maybe........? God it is so hard to actually say that’s it - no more. On a positive note there is a lovely positive and uplifting article in the November issue of Woman and Home about having a first baby at age 46 - have a read if you can as I’m sure it will cheer you all up

Sorry for the massive post. I haven't posted for a while....

Oh @weasledee and @cleozeta I completely understand how you are feeling. I could have written the same posts. It's depressing isn't it? And all consuming and the emotions are just too intense. I've been feeling really flat. I'm still getting positive tests after my mc a month ago. I bled a little last night and was hoping it is the start of my period but it seems to have stopped at the moment. I feel exhausted and I don't know whether I have the energy to continue. I don't want to spend my time stressing about being pregnant when I have a beautiful little boy to enjoy. But that said I did buy an Ava on Sunday night after a couple of glasses of wine. I know I shouldn't but I really felt the need for a blow out so I've had a boozy week by my standards. Think I wanted to feel as though I was living a normal life again. I've been pregnant off and on for the last 8 months with nothing to show for it. I have two friends who are heavily pregnant now and I'm trying to be happy for them but I am struggling. I don't think I'm ready to give up but I don't know how much more I can put myself through...

@keepingthefaith that's amazing. I'm so happy for you. How lovely to hear that sort of news. It's uplifting.

Big hugs everyone xxx

Great to hear from you faith! So pleased things are looking good for you. Thos gives us hope!

Weasle, I understand where you are coming from, I feel like that sometimes too.
I refuse to give up yet though. Yesterday I saw 3 friends who all (coincidentally) got pregnant around the time that we started trying, and they had their nearly 1 year old babies with them. One of those friends is 2 years older than me. And here I am still trying, getting nowhere, and rappidly running oyt of time. It gets to me sometimes and I feel like I'm falling off the cliff into a different old age pit from everyone else.

Little, thanks, I'm back and forward when it comes to tests.... I feel that a test will only give me information, it's not going to get me pregnant if that makes sense? There is no miracle solution that can come from tests.....
I know something dramatic has changed as with my 2 DC I got pregnant first month of trying, the same with the miscarriages.
For me, it's more about deciding when enough is enough and I'm very close to that decision now. The gap is getting bigger from my youngest Dc and sadly
I'm getting older...
And, as weird as this sounds, I keep thinking we're pushing our luck, both our DC don't have any major issues and I worry about chromosomal problems....
It's just really hard to say, we've stopped trying......

Hi Faith! Great to hear from you, how are you feeling hun? 21 weeks, wow, you give me great hope x

Weasel so sorry for the bfn. It sucks. Did you ever get any tests done?

@Rose68 Yes, that’s exactly what it was like.

@KeepingTheFaith9 Congratulations on your pregnancy. You give me hope!

@Dabofrouge I found the same, It’s so upsetting isn’t it. She made me feel I was wasting her time and trying to get rid of me.
My FSH level is 6.2.
But my serum prolactin level tested as abnormal so I have to speak to a doctor tomorrow.
I have no idea what serum prolactin level is, does anyone know?

Thank you, ladies. The GP was pretty negative with me, but I feel a bit better knowing that there are other things I can be doing. I will ask about the progesterone test.

@keepingthefaith - would you mind if I ask the kind of things Zita West fertility recommended?
I should be able to get My FSH level imminently which is freaking me out a bit at the moment... I’m not sure how much longer I can do this for. x

Welcome @Dabofrouge
You should have been offered progesterone and fsh, I think for everything else you need to go privately to a fertility clinic. So yes, unfortunately I think that is probably normal.

Hello ladies. Just wanted to say hello as I’m still checking in on this thread (it was a big part of my life for 6 months and I still hope and pray for you all) #keepthefaith
Dabo - I’m 44 and pregnant after 2 x MC and basically the NHS are not our friends when trying to conceive at 40+ (hence this thread!) Whilst trying I did 2 things as my GP, like yours wasn’t interested...

1. I booked a fertility MOT at a private clinic (cost me about £125) they tested FHS
2. Went to see Zita West Fertiity Goddess for a private consultation (£175)

Welcome dabofrouge
The NHS fertility MOT is the fsh test on cd3, and usually a progesterone test on cd21, thats all they offer now for any age group. Fertility funding on the NHS has been radically cut by the goverment and a lot of areas now are reluctant to do anything fertility related. Some area's if you are lucky may do a little more. But generally I wouldn't expect any more than FSH & progesterone, and even then when you get your answers you are on your own.
My personal opinion is; if you are ovulating - there is always a chance.

Hi. I’ve been lurking on this thead on and off for a while. I’m hoping that I can join in and get some advice please, as I’m feeling quite confused and down.

I’m 44. I had a mc last year and have been trying to become pregnant since. I asked my GP if I could get some sort of fertility MoT to see what’s going on and what my chances are, but I got a flat no. I’ve been offered an FSH test, but that’s it. Is this normal for the NHS? I didn’t ask why, unfortunately, but I’m assuming the problem is my age. The NICE guidelines don’t seem to mention a cutoff age. Does anyone else have experience of this?

Sorry about BFN weasel, I know just how you feel

Oh no sorry to hear that weasle. Gutting isn't it. I got a bfn at 11dpo this last cycle too, and I was convinced I was too with temps shooting up every day.

BFN here! 11DPO realistically out as used a frer so there should have been at least a squinter!
Bit fed up....