TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧

@Mistymeow the badge is a very sweet idea. I plan to get a poppy badge with the year on it (if they do them for remembrance day this year) my little one was due on 11/11.

So I am thoroughly frustrated. I gave myself two goals this month - (1) to get pregnant and (2) to understand my body and cycle more. #2 was by opk-Ing as never done it before so was all guess work. I thought (naively) that at least I could achieve 1 goal this month. So now I am cd 17, had flashing smileys since cd13 (started testing cd 9) and yesterday cd16 I started spotting pink and then bit red then brown, today a very light brown when I wipe so I am more confused about my cycle and my body than I ever was before! I flippin' hate this TTC journey! Sorry for rant. I have googled all the possibilities of what this could be - ovulation bleeding, a ruptured cyst, hormonal imbalance, cancer, implantation bleeding, premenopausal (I'm 37) etc - who knows!? Urggghh!

Hey how is everyone doing?

I think I might be 1dpo, so that's 7 days later than usual! What a weird cycle, had ovulation cramps cd10 and still getting them cd22.

I recently bought a small pin badge for baby loss awareness week in October from the Miscarriage Association. I didn't mark my loss, I guess a part of me felt foolish because the little one didn't progress past 5 or 6 weeks (although my body didn't recognise the loss until around 10 weeks). So the badge is a small, yet colourful, reminder to remember my little one by, and looks very nice on my jacket. Just a thought if anyone was considering similar.

Was back to work today after mc last week. I'm a postwoman so do a lot of walking and stairs. Came home and I'm so sore. I feel like my uterus is bruised and I have pelvic pain especially my pubic bone.

There is still light black bleeding. Will see how I go. Took some strong pain killers.

Good luck everyone in their 2ww and everyone recently starting trying again after mc. Xx

@Eastend2015 ah love it! Of course we are. 😀 I'll always think of you as my thread buddy as we joined on the exact same day and you were the first person to talk to me! I really hope it's our turn 🤞🤞

@bobo cycle buddies 😂

@Limum4 and @YellowDaffodils86 fx for next month for you both. Getting to know your cycles and body and JKS sounds like a good plan!! I'm ok thanks. 7dpo here so just trying to keep calm and not obsess. Not testing this month unless af doesn't arrive next Tuesday so at least one more week of waiting.

@Boboelephant ah i hit post to soon!
How are you? Where in your cycle are you?

@Boboelephant thank you. Im glad a new cycle had begun. Iv learnt that i need to keep any eye on my ovulation more and now im able to start temping from the start. Last cycle my thermometer arrived too late. Iv also got a stack of opks. So im hoping this month i can be more aware of whats happening. I also think some jks is needed.

@Boboelephant me too it has been difficult. How r you?

@Elderflower78 that sounds really hard and your boss sounds bang out of order. He cannot guilt you for being sick. I would defi take some sick leave. After my ectopic i had 3 weeks off as ordered by the surgeon but GP just wrote gynaecological procedure on my sick note. My boss didn't ask too many questions- men don't when it's anything to do with that area!
@fnej01 oh that sounds tough. Take care of yourself.
@YellowDaffodils86 sorry its been such a long crap cycle but at least she's here now and you can move on to the next one. Hope the pms goes away soon!
@Lilimum4 glad she showed up for you too so your month off is over!

@YellowDaffodils86 I know poor DH's they do feel the pressure don't they. I hope you start to feel better tomorrow and you don't get the cramps x

@Lilimum4
😂sorry i have to laugh, i just know what you mean. My dh has bore the brunt of it, tbh some he deserves😆
But i have been awful, i can hear myself being a moody bitch and i just cant help it.
Considering she arrived today, cramps have not been bad at all, tomorrow im sure will be different.
Maybe there should be a dh refuge..

@YellowDaffodils86 I'm feeling the same way hun and the cramps have me doubled over and tmi the flow is rediculous. But the rage is to much I have had to hid in the bedroom to stop myself shouting at DH xx

@doddlebobs i can see what you mean. I liked the second page
We will escape...

@SerenaOverjoyed
Fingers crossed for no serious problems. Sorry for the tough time, many penguin cuddles.

@hayleyfx im glad it went as well as could.
So sorry for you still. You have been so brave. X

Big hugs to @hayleyfx and @rdm10 😘 xx

@Lilimum4 me too, silly cow, took her time!

@Elderflower78 i still feel lonely sometimes.
I did very much so after mc (which was march) now its mc and ttc rolled into one that can causes loneliness. Sometimes it just seems nobody else gets it.

@Boboelephant yes i like both and they are on my to do list, been thinking about starting a class for a while.

@KnitKitty im not sure what our cycles have been up to this month!

Af arrived this evening. Cycle day 42, looks as though i ovulated about cycle day 28!
Iv got the worst pmt iv ever had. Started Saturday, which made me wonder if af was imminent.
Im ethier so angry and pissed off and everything makes me fly of the handle. The rage makes me want to actually bludgeon someone to death. Or im so miserable i feel absolutely wretched. Bbs are feeling odd too.

What fun!

For the first time in ages I'm happy to say AF showed up, I'm cd2 roll on fw

Hugs all of you who are in need of one
Fx for the fw and Tww ladies
And baby dust to everyone xx

Thank you @rdm10 and @fnej01

I was actually on annual leave when the miscarriage happened, i was on a camping holiday when it happened. I was angry that my holiday was ruined, I was sooooo excited to be pregnant and on holiday and looking forward to telling work on my return.
My boss doesn't know but he gave me a ridiculously hard time when I was off for a week with severe tonsilitis. I was very sick and he was a total dick. I had to get my union involved so I'm reluctant to tell him anything about myself.

@fnej01 good luck with your 2ww. It must be a very anxious and exciting time for you. I really hope it happens for you this time.

Must have been awful for you in Mothercare.. that would hit me straight in the chest as well. Poor you.
One thing I've realised is how flaunting your good news can impact on people ttc or who have had a loss. When it happens for me I'm not going to post anything on Facebook etc. It's Facebook posts that can hit you hard. My friend just told me she's 11 weeks pregnant right after I told her I had mc.

@doddlebobs I'm sorry this happed to you. I'm sending you hugs. Please take care of you x

@rdm10 I'm so sorry you had to go through that again. Sending you hugs and please be kind to your self xx

@hayleyfx I'm so sorry this happened to you and your partner. I'm so glad you got to spend time with Charlie. What a beautiful name. He will know how much you both loved him xx

@hayleyfx You sound like a lovely very strong person :-) Sending you lots of love and best wishes :-)

I'm still stuck :-( been spotting brown discharge since yesterday (sorry tmi!) so no proper AF yet :-/ and testing negative so definitely not pregnant. Just want my cycle to start again so we can get back to trying :-/

Crossing my fingers for you all :-)

Hi @elderflower sounds like you need a hug today. I am a few weeks ahead of and still have very emotional moments about it all. I think that the advice of be kind to yourself is really important. Does your boss know about the miscarriage - it doesn't seem right that you used annual leave rather than be off sick? I had a week off sick, but even now (6 weeks later) my resilience to stress is still lower than normal. I think if you aren't feeling up to being at work then maybe a few days sick is what you need. Alternatively, could you tell your boss/work colleagues so you have some support? Very few of my work colleagues know but the ones I have told have been a real godsend of support, and have rescued me, when I've looked wobbly.

I totally understand the milestones. I had AF 30 days from miscarriage starting, and then ovulation 15days after that. Currently on my first TWW since MC. I don't think I ovulated before AF.

I had an epic fail tonight. Popped to mothercare looking for a gift for my new premature baby cousin. Walked straight into an expectant parents event. Had to get out of there straight away - I should've been there 20 weeks pregnant. Big breath - onwards and upward.

@Elderflower78 I had 2 weeks off after my last mc. When I rang the Drs for a sick note they asked me if I wanted miscarriage on the note. I said yes as I’d told work (only to stop the constant “when are you having another baby?” questions) but they were happy not to put the reason on, they they would have just put ‘personal’. So maybe consider that if you’re not ready to go back yet.