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Original poster

TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

995 replies

Boboelephant · 30/06/2018 11:58

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

Boboelephant
Age: 35
TTC #2
DS 2.5
MMC at 10 weeks in December 2017. Ectopic rupture in November 2016.
Cycle 6 post MC. Trying since September 2016.

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

OP posts:
Thread gallery
35
Lilimum4 · 08/07/2018 12:16

Hi everyone
Is it ok if I rant

So AF arrived and I'm understandably very upset and pissed off. DH says oh you came on so I say yep like clock work every effing month. DH says you sound pissed off what's the matter? Needless to say I did not reply I went a balled my eyes out in the green house. Why are men so brainless and thoughtless some times

SunshineSparklesSmiles · 08/07/2018 11:59

Congratulations @littleemma1! Your dress is beautiful x

sweetpea0318 · 08/07/2018 11:58

@littleemma congratulations! X

SunshineSparklesSmiles · 08/07/2018 11:57

Just checking in ladies. AF is due today or tomorrow. Impatience got the better of me and I did a cleat blue digital yesterday afternoon which read 'pregnant 1-2 weeks' but still have no idea if that's left over hcg from last month. Took a tesco test today and there's a very faint line that both DH and I can make out. Getting a few pulling pains in lower abdomen so not sure if AF is on her way. I guess time will tell.

Bobzybaby · 08/07/2018 11:51

@littleemma1 gorgeous pics, you look stunning! Congratulations x

Original poster
Boboelephant · 08/07/2018 11:25

Hello all!! Glad all are well, definitely heat and football @Bobzybaby!
@Cakelaur I'm ok although a bit fragile today after too much celebrating yesterday! I'm 6dpo and temps are sky high so starting to get hopeful. But it's also possible that they were so high today due to the heat and too much prosecco so must be realistic.
@sweetpea0318 and @Blondcat we're all close. Fx!!!
@KnitKitty glad you're doing ok. I have found it hard to keep up too- we've had a record number of joiners I think. Keep meditating and trying to be calm. I think your plan sounds great. Just walk into the bedroom in some sexy knickers! 👍
@littleemma1 congratulations hun. You look beautiful and so happy. Love the flag pic too! 😂

OP posts:
littleemma1 · 08/07/2018 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KnitKitty · 08/07/2018 10:36

Hi all,

Sorry not posting as much these days. I am still trying to keep up with the thread and I've been sending cyber hugs and positive thoughts to those who need them. There's so many newbies it's been hard to keep up. I'm so sorry you've all found yourself here, but it's so comforting to know you're not alone in all this.

Not much happening on my end. Still waiting for FW to start. Yawn.

Last month I wasn't properly TTC and was focusing more of getting some balance back. This month I'm back on the TTC train but I'm determined to stay as peaceful as possible about it so I'm trying not to obsess too much and focus more on other things.

I'm expecting to ovulate on or around the 16th July, and since DTD too often is a touchy subject with OH my plan is basically to try and make it happen on the 13th and 15th. I think that will give me the best chance. Does this sound like a good plan? Or should I change the days to 14th and 16th?

Whereabouts is everyone in their cycle?

RedRobin7 I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious. Have you been in touch with EPU about your concerns, could they do an earlier scan? Every pregnancy is different, remember. PM me if you need. Hugs xxx

Blondcat · 08/07/2018 10:24

@boboelephant I know I am shocked I usually have trouble keeping up!

I am on approx 5dpo but as only dtd once during fw think v unlikely for me therefore this month so just enjoying the hot weather and waiting for af to start a fresh next month.

Hope everyone is OK.

sweetpea0318 · 08/07/2018 10:18

I was thinking the same! I thought perhaps the site was down or running slow this morning for some reason. Nothing new to report here - 5dpo and feeling quite calm for once (although it's early days so lots of time still for the crazy to kick in!)

Bobzybaby · 08/07/2018 09:54

@Boboelephant I think the combo of heat / weekend / football may have done everyone in!

Cakelaur · 08/07/2018 09:47

Maybe the heats done everyone in! Haha. How are ya @Boboelephant

Original poster
Boboelephant · 08/07/2018 09:41

Morning everyone. I've never woken up with no new posts so just posting to check there's not an upload issue! I may have a mumsnet addiction

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SunshineSparklesSmiles · 07/07/2018 14:19

Thank you for your kind words @Bobzybaby. I know I'm being a little impatient really and the odds are against me on this occasion if I'm honest with myself but I'm so hoping we've caught ourselves an egg. I will try to remain positive but do my best to mentally prepare for AF's arrival. I am so thankful to have found such a supportive and caring group. You're all superstars and wishing for baby dust for you all x

Bobzybaby · 07/07/2018 13:54

@Lilimum4 I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I mostly cope well with everything going on. However, I do get days like you're describing where it all seems so hopeless! Trying to get pregnant after the trauma of mc is such a rollercoaster and can be all consuming. The thing that keeps me most sane is focusing on the beautiful things in my life that are not related to pregnancy. It keeps me in the present and reminds me that life is good even if it's not going the way I want. But I would also recommend joining the waiting list for counselling - 6 months seems a long time but it'll be here before we know it!

@SunshineSparklesSmiles Please don't give yourself such a hard time. You have enough going on without giving the additional guilt of everyone else's feelings. Time will reveal all but be kind to yourself in the mean time.

fnej01 · 07/07/2018 11:06

@Boboelephant thanks for reply I think its just hcg triggering it, consulted google, but definitely feel like hormones kicking in which I think is a good sign. Hopefully AF is on track soon and then we are back in the game.

Original poster
Boboelephant · 07/07/2018 09:56

@fnej01 sorry I missed you. I'm not totally sure but I have heard that you can still ovulate with a small amount of hcg in your blood so it's a good sign as if so it means that you're almost getting back to normal physically. Fx for next cycle for you.
@Ells0204 sorry for bfn. They suck.

OP posts:
Ells0204 · 07/07/2018 09:48

Sorry you are both feeling so down @Lilimum4 and @Laney79 I absolutely hate AF as blood (sorry) just reminds me of my MC too Sad I think that’s the worst bit.
I’m 12dpo and BFNs on ICs so far. I’ve got all my usual AF symptoms as well, boobs sore, face is breaking out, and CM is becoming watery. FML! Xx

Original poster
Boboelephant · 07/07/2018 09:17

@Laney79 sorry you got that email. What a kick in the guts. And I'm so sorry that DH isn't up to it. I get get you're crushed but I don't think it's over for you. I'm sure it will all work out but maybe you just need a bit more time. And in no way did you fail!!!
@Robin78 I'm glad they took you seriously and have made a change. Sorry af arrived.
@Tefiti2 I check my cervix although I'm not sure how much it tells me!
@hayleyfx so glad bubs is doing well!! 😀
@Pancakes7 as @Cakelaur said it's entirely possible that your body was gearing up to ovulate but didn't complete. You could have EWCM and positive opk and then ovulation not happen. Sounds like it might be happening now.
@SunshineSparklesSmiles it is possible if you are using more sensitive tests now. Its also possible it's a new one and too early for other test to pick up. Unfortunately there's no real way of knowing until af either arrives or doesn't. Fx it's a new one.
@Happysbno4 and @xJune88 welcome and so sorry for your losses.
@Lilimum4 sorry for bfn and that you're feeling low. 🐧
@RedRobin7 sorry you're feeling so anxious. Have you joined the pregnant after mc board? They should understand your anxiety better than the March board.

OP posts:
SunshineSparklesSmiles · 07/07/2018 09:05

Thank you @hellotoyellow. I hate this limbo but I bought it on myself. I don't want to stress DH out by trying to rationalise out loud. He's so lovely and supportive and I so wish I had good news to give him. My cycle pre mmc was 27 days but I believe it may be longer now as I ovulated two days later than before. I'm 12DPO which may explore faint lines on FRER and nothing on the 25iuml as yet but I don't think I could allow my hopes to rise again for the time being. I'm good to try and keep myself busy over the weekend and retest on Monday if AF hasn't shown by then. I've not told anyone about this situation apart from DH as my family were so upset about my mmc and I couldn't let them be upset again, it would break my heart to have to deliver more bad news so I'm going to try and keep busy until I can figure out what's going on. Thank you all for your advice and support. I think I'd feel so lonely going through this without the huddle x

highlandteajenny · 07/07/2018 08:50

@xJune88 and @Happysbno4 so sorry for your loss. I'm finding this group a wonderful source of comfort and hope.

Congratulations @hayleyfx!

Good luck to everyone waiting to test and everyone who is working on BD Grin think I'm going to wait a week more and hopefully my insides will be back to normal and get on with TTC (tmi!). I love reading all of your positive stories, it gives me hope.

hellotoyellow · 07/07/2018 08:47

Lilimum - my friend goes to counselling for ten pounds a session. Where do you live? Hers is subsidised for low wage but there are also free services in London (don't know about elsewhere) and the Fertility Network runs free support groups.

RedRobin7 · 07/07/2018 08:46

@Lilimum4 So sorry you are struggling. Do you work? I didn't realise that my company pay for counselling services for all staff and their families. They told me about the system after my MMC so all I had to do was phone the number and they arranged it for me. I had the option to do face to face or phone sessions. I would never have known about it had I not spoken to HR.

Another option is to google Talking Therapies - there will be one in your area and after a phone assessment they will help you. When my husband was too afraid to leave the house after he was ill two years ago they were able to see him within a couple of weeks.

You're not alone, we are all here for you and there's also help out there xx

highlandteajenny · 07/07/2018 08:43

Sending hugs to you @Laney79 I'm so sorry you are having a bad day. You did not fail, sometimes it just doesn't work out. Be kind to yourself Thanks

hellotoyellow · 07/07/2018 08:42

@sunshinesparkles sorry this is happening - and I know the guilt about DH. Felt so bad for telling him about my early one at all as knew it was probably chemical (5/40).

I think that sounds very implausible as the drop from 1000s to 25 to 10 is, while not linear, also not flat. So you wouldn't have dropped from 1000s to less than 25 and then taken as long again to drop below 10.

Fingers crossed it's a sticky one and the lines get darker.