Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

995 replies

Boboelephant · 30/06/2018 11:58

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

Boboelephant
Age: 35
TTC #2
DS 2.5
MMC at 10 weeks in December 2017. Ectopic rupture in November 2016.
Cycle 6 post MC. Trying since September 2016.

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

OP posts:
Thread gallery
35
RedRobin7 · 13/07/2018 07:34

@Boboelephant So sorry, it's heartbreaking seeing a negative month on end. Be kind to yourself today xx

weasledee · 13/07/2018 07:01

So sorry bobo, that feeling is the worse.....

Similar story here, AF finally arrived, I'm kind of relieved as I think I'd accepted I wasn't pregnant days ago..... was more concerned it was something bad...

Boboelephant · 13/07/2018 06:39

Thanks as ever for the support and crossed fingers. Unfortunately (as ever again it seems) despite everything it's another bloody bfn. I am really starting to doubt what the doctors say as it seems that there must be something wrong! I just am so sick of this constant disappointment. Feeling so completely gutted.

OP posts:
strawberrye · 13/07/2018 05:13

@boboelephant I am on night shift and so excited for you to poas this morning! eeek!

zarala · 12/07/2018 23:55

Hey ladies
I've been mia as I'm away staying with my folks and not able to JKS this month as DH didn't renew his passport 🙄 so I'm away from him until end of the month
It's literally taken me almost all day to catch up on the weeks dramas! So much has happened!
So sorry @RedRobin7 for what you're going through
Sorry to all the new ladies who've joined congrats for the bfps!!!
Yay@Cakelaur For your positive scan and for bringing the gratefulness to the post- that was a lovely read!
I'm here to check in on @Boboelephant And excited for tomorrow POAS! I'll be checking in the morning! Fx fx Fx Fx!

Good luck to everyone testing tonight
Hugs to everyone having a difficult time

Xx

hayleyfx · 12/07/2018 23:05

I’m sorry to everyone have a tough time. Sending hugs Flowers

Good luck to everyone testing tomorrow. I’m so excited for you all! 🤞

Newbie21 · 12/07/2018 22:42

Good luck to all those testing tomorrow. Hope it's a bumper Friday. Fingers crossed.

KnitKitty · 12/07/2018 22:42

Aww thanks Boboelephant! I'm sending you baby dust blessings for tomorrow's POAS. Best of luck.

Thinking of all of you POAS Friday! Looking forward to checking back in tomorrow!

Hugs Pancake7! xxx I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. Good luck with the test results. I hope they get to the bottom of it.

RedRobin7 Have PMed you, but just wanted to add... It will inevitably be hard to hold your nephew, but also so, so special seeing him for the first time. Congratulations on becoming an aunty. I hope it goes ok at the weekend. xxx

RedRobin7 · 12/07/2018 22:39

@Pancakes7 Sometimes unfollowing people is a great idea. I see so many things that upset me on Facebook so I think I will be doing that more now. You're right, there's always hope when someone who has been through it reaches their first milestone. I really hope my friend has a successful pregnancy as I'm already giving up hope after 2 miscarriages and she might be just the strength I need to keep going.

@Boboelephant I don't think I responded about POAS Friday. I feel like I'm being so selfish at the moment not thoroughly reading posts or replying correctly. Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞🤞🤞🤞 Good luck xx

Cakelaur · 12/07/2018 22:06

Good luck to all those testing tomorrow... Cant wait to check in tomorrow!!! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Angelbabyollie · 12/07/2018 21:59

@Russkispy I hope you get your negative hpt tomorrow so you can move forward. I know the feeling of time is of the essence and very aware of this which I am sure you agree makes all of this so unfair. Fingers crossed for you xxxxx

Boboelephant · 12/07/2018 21:55

@KnitKitty haha yep! I dreaded drinking that horrible stuff! You can do it!! 💪 Ooh please feedback how your reiki session goes. Doing it day of ovulation sounds like a great plan. Lovely and relaxed for that super eggie! It's ok to be worried about how you'll feel when you see your friend and to be sad for yourself. But you'll be fine and I bet you'll be so happy for your friend. We have an amazing ability to feel conflicting feelings at the same time and both are equally important and neither are wrong. I've had to do this alot over the past 18 months and I know you'll be ok because you're a lovely person.
@YellowDaffodils86 haha give him that free pass out of the doghouse. You've got JKS to do!!! Thanks for posting that memory. I'm glad you are feeling better since then. I'm ok, 10dpo and feeling nervous!!

OP posts:
Pancakes7 · 12/07/2018 21:54

@Kintan Thank you. I hope you're ok. I have had a bad evening today. Been crying alot. Hoping to know more tomorrow or once I have the scan.
@RedRobin7 It must be so difficult. I have unfollowed a friend who had a baby recently as find it too painful. At least your friend having a successful 6wk scan after 3 mc's maybe shows we can all get there.

RedRobin7 · 12/07/2018 21:41

@Newbie21 It sucks doesn't it. You're allowed to have a good cry though. My best friend is pregnant too, she's had 3 miscarriages in a row so she's very nervous. She was a week behind me and had a 6 week scan today. She kept asking me questions about how I'm feeling and pregnancy symptoms so she started getting suspicious when I avoided her questions but I didn't want to tell her the news until after she'd had her scan. They saw the heartbeat today and I'm so so happy for her as this is the first pregnancy they've ever seen a positive scan of and got a picture. It's hard for me but like you say, we can still be happy for others and sad for ourselves at the same time.

Not sure what threads I have posted this in but we are becoming a boarder for Guide Dogs in training and our first dog is joining us in 10 days time (we postponed it by a week) so we have a well timed distraction. She will go to dog school whilst I'm at work 😊

Newbie21 · 12/07/2018 21:22

@redrobin7 I am so sorry that this is happening to you. It is so so unfair. The cuddles will help, I'm sure. I just had a cry as we were just told that another couple who are close friends of ours are expecting (2nd announcement in the last few weeks within our friendship group). I am so unbelievably happy for them but want to be part of it too. The tears are inevitable but it doesn't mean you are not happy too. Enjoy those cuddles and make sure you rest and take care of yourself.

RedRobin7 · 12/07/2018 21:10

@Boboelephant I hadn't considered I could be contractions but the pain is now constant and has been for several hours so I don't think it's that. It's the same severity as this morning but has just become a constant thing so I'm not as worried as it's not got more painful for a while. I'll see what happens over night.

@Newbie21 I had a similar situation. My first pregnancy in January I was only 3 months behind my sister and we were discussing our how kids would be so close and doing things around the same time. Then when I had a MMC my sister was so sad that I would look at my nephew and have constant reminders of the milestones I'm going to be missing out on. My sister was so happy for us when she found out we were pregnant again so I think she will be devastated that I've had two loses during her pregnancy. I think you're right though, it'll probably be comforting having cuddles with him.

@Jessabean I have to go to the hospital tomorrow for bloods so if I'm still in this pain I'll go up to the EPU and ask to talk to someone.

@Pancakes7 Thank you. So sorry you're having a difficult time. I hope you get some answers soon xx

YellowDaffodils86 · 12/07/2018 21:08

@weasledee step away from google lol. I take it you have no af and bfns? So frustrating! Like bobo said, are you sure you ov when you did. Fingers crossed though!

@RedRobin7 ah sorry you are in Pain. I miscarried at the same point in pregnancy as you. It was quite painful at times. If you are worried then make sure epu or doctor see you. Its hard enough without extra stress And worry. I feel so sad for you, I remember we were at similar points in cycle and waiting to test. Its very unfair. Much hugs for you.

@Boboelephant hey. Im good, im amidst ovulation! I think today or tomorrow. Annoyingly no bd yesterday as the football was on and that lead to a drunken dh who is in the dog house! But kinda need to get one more in tonight. So he may be forgiven😂
How are you? How many dpo are you?

I came across this earlier, its the very first post i ever wrote, shortly after my mc.
It feels sad to read it back, but i wanted to post it here, for everyone who is in those first few days/weeks or maybe others who it might just help in some way.
I dont feel like this now. Its almost like someone else wrote it.
Of course i have sad moments and frustration and wont ever forget, but time did heal and i moved on from all that hurt, so have hope it does get better.
Its also the post that lead me here😊

So this is my first post, iv read about a million since i had my coil removed and this journey began.
Its a shame my first post comes under these circumstances.
I was lucky enough to fall pregnant on our first month ttc, but just over a week ago we found out that at 6w4d the baby hadn't developed, and that was why i had started bleeding, i was having a miscarriage.

Iv stopped bleeding now, about 9 days in total. Last week was misery and i feel slightly better this week, feeling i can function relatively ok.

Im just fed up and sad underneath it all.
Im so disappointed, iv never felt so disappointed before. I feel fed up of trying to be positive. Yes i can try again, but in reality i just want the baby i already made.
I feel a desperate need to try again and hopefully become pregnant again, i hate having this hanging over me and feel the whole experience of starting a family has been ruined.

I try to think how lucky i am with the normal cliches, that people dont stop telling you!
I do know so many women face tougher challenges and go through worse. To those women i dont know how you do it.

I just feel lonely, sad, frustrated and i guess a bit angry.
I should have been having an early scan Saturday followed by first midwife appointment next week. It makes feel sad that these wont happen now.
Every friday is a new week and i cant help think 'would have this many weeks this week'

In a month or so i could well be pregnant again, who knows, but everything feels muddled and strange and i guess tainted by this traumatic experience.

I guess i just wanted to hear from others and if you understood what i have said in anyway.

Xx

Kintan · 12/07/2018 21:07

@Pancakes7 Sorry you are having such a difficult time. It's good the third GP took things further - fingers crossed your phone appointment will shed some light on things and stop you freaking out. Hugs to you xx

KnitKitty · 12/07/2018 21:01

Boboelephant I'm doing OK thanks. CD13 so should ovulate in about 4 days time. I actually found some pink grapefruit juice today so bought some... You ladies haven't been lying, it's disgusting!
I've booked a reiki session on Monday (suspected day of ovulation). Not had it before but I thought I'd try it, partly because you've mentioned it a couple of times and it sounds really relaxing! I thought doing it on day of O might help? We'll see...
Feeling quite laid-back at the moment but I think I might struggle to keep sane in TTW this time as I've got back in to trying for real again.
We're seeing a friend who's pregnant with baby no.2 next weekend. Really happy for her, but I've managed not to spend any time with a pregnant lady (that I know of) since MC in March so might be a bit hard.

Pancakes7 · 12/07/2018 19:10

@RedRobin7 I am so sorry you're going through this again. Especially when your sister is having her baby. There's no words. Just believe it will happen. Just keep trying. Big hugs.

Pancakes7 · 12/07/2018 18:34

Sorry I've been quiet. Having a difficult time again. UTI is back for third time now in a month. I also have flu and now a bad chesty cough. Not had a cold for a long time! Feeling crap all over really. Went to a third gp yesterday as can never get the same one. She is taking it further. Gave me antibiotics for 7 days this time. Examined me and took a swab. Sent urine and swab for tests. 1st time test result is mia. 2nd said clear but actually showed white blood cells but no-one told me. This time showing white blood cells too. I have a phone call appointment with her tomorrow. If clear again I will be sent for ultrasound to find out what is going on. Feeling worried. What if this is something bad. What if I can't have kids now? Sorry freaking out atm. Still no af obviously too. Anyone had a similar experience?

Jessabean · 12/07/2018 18:06

@RedRobin7 sorrry this hasn't been the most straightforward process for you either- it makes it all just that little bit more rubbish than it already is. If I was you and your not coping with the pain I would ring EPU again and just stand your ground and say that your not coping with the pain and mention that it's one sided which is worrying you & they should ask you to come in to check you over. As @Boboelephant said it could well be contractions. I had quite bad contraction like pains with my first natural mc and they were a bit on one side- but then I did also have a cyst then so could have been that. Obviously saying that do go to A&E if either the bleeding is profuse or the pain is really excruciating for immediate management but they will usually eventually then refer you to EPU for any further investigations and management so in terms of getting things checked and done quicker they would otherwise be the best place to turn to I would say. Saying that I know not all EPU's are 24 hours/some services run differently in different areas. I hope this all settles down for you soon though. 🐧

Boboelephant · 12/07/2018 17:35

@weasledee I'm trying to clutch at straws with you. I remember your super strong opk now but can't remember what time you took it. As you can ovulate 48 hours after opk is it possible you ovulated Thursday? Your app is also giving you a very short luteal phase of 10/11 days. Have you been recording for awhile? How long is your luteal phase usually? Maybe you're 14dpo and will get your bfp tomorrow! POAS Friday!!

OP posts:
weasledee · 12/07/2018 17:18

I got that really strong ovulation stick on the Tuesday two weeks ago, so that puts me about 15 DPO. My app says I was due on Monday....

Boboelephant · 12/07/2018 17:06

@weasledee what CD are you? Are you 100% sure when you ovulated? What are you basing AF due date on? Hope it's good news for you. Cake did get her bfp at 15dpo. 🤞

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread