TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

@Russkispy We're using donor sperm due to being in a same sex relationship. It's my 3rd IUI (#1 was BFN, #3 was BFP but pregnancy ended in silent miscarriage).

@knitkitty, thank you for your message. I’m just glad I’ve enjoyed this thread as I didn’t need know where else to turn. In general I was told to expect AF in 6 weeks or so and I know we’re all different.
@Tinypaws, what made you go for IUI. Is it you first one?
On average, from your experiences, how soon one gets BFP after a MC. For some over 40+? And how long have you TTC so far?

@Boboelephant Oh love, i'm so sorry about your bfn, you approach each new cycle with such positivity. I'm sure others feel the same way but I eagerly opened this thread this morning to hear your news. We're so there for you and sending you positive vibes. I echo what @KnitKitty said though, it may be a little more difficult for you because of your tube but I know you'll get there. Plus with no AF you're not out yet so keep us updated but if she does show, look after yourself make sure you do something nice for you xx

Got my static smiley this morning on CB advanced so we're all go now. DH is off on a stag do tomorrow but it's just one night so going to grab him this eve, in the morning and when he gets back on Sunday to hopefully cover us. Have to say, following SMEP has been a lot easier on us this month, the break in between helps you relax again and doesn't put as much pressure on us. That being said, we're about to do the three days in a row so the calm feelings might not last!
Not looking forward to the TWW, at least during FW you have something to do!

I thought last night I was actually going to start properly bleeding but nothing so far overnight or this morning. I think now having been few days since that awful moment we had the scan showing we'd lost the baby I just want the mc to be over with ASAP so I can recover sooner rather than later physically to allow me to concentrate on the emotional side of things.

@Redrobin7 you sound like such a strong amazing person but still sending you hugs as we all need a hug given our experiences x

Sorry about the BFN Boboelephant and sorry to everyone else that's had bad news too - there seems to have been a lot of it on this thread recently!

I had my IUI on Wednesday so 2dpo now. Trying to distract myself as time is moving sooooo slowly!

@Blondcat Since my MMC in March I've not had sore boobs either. Really weird!

@Laney79 It took me ages to fall asleep last night because of the pain but thankfully I managed to drift off and this morning I'm in less pain.

Really sorry you've had the worry about the policy changing. Hopefully you will get all the support you need when the time comes.

@Mistymeow @jessabean Thank you x

@Russkispy I had a positive a couple of weeks after my D&C in March so they scanned me to confirm nothing had been left behind. It was all clear and eventually my levels went back to normal and I finally saw a negative.

@KnitKitty Seen your message and will reply soon.

I told my brother in law this morning about the miscarriage and asked him to tell my sister when I felt she was strong enough to deal with it. He told her straight away and she's so upset for me and has said she understands if I am not ready to meet my nephew yet. I've reassured her I will be okay to meet him on Sunday.

Just been to the hospital for a blood test and then my DH got my a Costa and now the coffee has made me feel awful. Not managing to eat much as every time I eat I get a horrendous tummy ache.

@weasledee glad your AF has brought you some closure to your limbo and the fresh start in a new cycle

@boboelephant I'm gutted for you. I know you feel it's unlikely but remember it's not over until the fat (red) lady sings

Sorry, spelt your name wrong Russkispy

Russkipsky I had my first negative 4 weeks after ERPC. No, it's not unusual but it sucks. Hugs xxx I was told to test 2-3 weeks after. Two weeks after it was still positive to I gave myself another week. It was still positive at three weeks and I rang EPU. They told me to test again in 4 days time and it was still positive so they booked me in for the following week to do a test and possible scan at the hospital. When they tested at the hospital it was finally negative so I didn't need the scan, but a doctor saw me after just to check how I was doing with it all and to reassure me which was nice. I can't fault the EPU I went to, they were lovely from start to finish... And my road was a very long one!

I'm so sorry Boboelephant. You're not quite out of the running yet though... Until AF shows you can't be 100% sure, but I know your heart will have sunk through your feet at the sight of BFN this morning and I'm sending you massive hugs. I feel like everyone on this thread wants your BFP just as much as their own. As Jessabean said, you're so supportive to us all!
I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with you, I think probably you ovulate a lot more on the side with no tube, and of course even when you do ovulate on the good side you're not guaranteed to get pregnant straight away. I feel for you that it might be a longer road to success, but I honestly believe it will happen for you. It's just it taking so long is so hard!
Can you save up to have tests done privately in the mean time?

I'm sorry and glad for you weasledee that AF finally showed up. It sucks that she took so long to arrive this month, but I'm glad she finally came so you can move on to the next cycle. Here's hoping for a good new cycle for you!

Laney79 I'm sorry you've had this stressful news, but glad they're not just fobbing you off. I hope everything works out for the best for you. xxx

RedRobin7 Thinking of you today. xxx

Jessabean I just held my nose and gulped it all down as quickly as possible this morning! haha! Yesterday I sipped at it and it was a mistake, the first mouthful is actually the least disgusting. If I don't get a BFP this cycle I'm not going to try this again next cycle!!! lol
Good luck with the JKSing!!! Fingers crossed for you!

Thank you @bobo. Thought it might be too early with all that progesterone but since I’m too new to MC, I followed the hospital’s instructions. Will wait till next week. In the meantime, my father arrived last night for 2 weeks and already playing with my little DD. And that’s a nice distraction. No need to think about DTD just yet and with that bloody positive test anyway.

And just wanted to say sorry for AFs and BFNs. No words to comfort but we must get going!

Thanks for the thoughts ladies, I'm more relieved than fed up this time.

Decided full on sexathon from day 8!

@Boboelephantand@weasledee sending hugs! I abstinent understand the disappointment after taking 5 years to get pregnant and those feelings of despair. Hope next month brings you what you long for x

Done the pregnancy test and still shows positive. Think it’s too early to test and because of all progesterone I was takin for 8 weeks!?! Called EPU and she told me to retake it in a week 😢 it’s it unusual to still have positive after D&C 2 weeks ago?

@Mistymeow not entirely sure-but I think it's a meeting with a consultant about your choices. I guess it's for women like me who request something unusual-so a csection or perhaps a MLU or home birth despite being higher risk? From what the lady on the phone said its a chat through why you feel the way you do, and why you want what you want then discussions of risks before coming to some kind of agreement on a way forward. Not sure-will report back X

@Boboelephant and @weasledee Oh no! So sorry - what a horrid end to the week :( xx

@boboelephant and @weasledee so sorry for the bfn/AF arrival. It just seems so unfair. It's all just such a slog.

@boboelephant sorry for the bfn today.

@weasledee sorry af showed but at least you know where you are now.

@redrobin7 thinking of you hope the pain passes very soon.

@jessicabean fx for fw jks!

Nothing to report here. But weird since mc not getting sore boobs each month before af when pretty much every month before I did? So not got any symptoms to spot for the last few days.

@Boboelephant I'm sorry for your BFN. This business is so difficult having to face the disappointment each month no matter how much we try not to build things up. And your so lovely and supportive to all of us we all want that bfp for you! 🐧 We will all get there eventually. Do what you need to do to feel strong in this process though even if that means having a break from the actively trying for a bit- I found it quite helpful emotionally.

@RedRobin7 glad things have levelled off pain wise. I hope things were ok overnight as well. Let us know how it goes today.

I'm on CD 12 now and DH is back so officially trying again. Trying out SMEP (minus the first try at CD8) also grapefruit and cough syrup!
@KnitKitty I'm drinking pink grapefruit juice as well- have found something to make it more bearable though- still lemonade! Do about half and half and it's not quite so bad then.

So sorry to hear of those having a rough time this week. Hugs. Redrobin7 you have especially been in my thoughts x

Boboelephant that totally sucks. You are 11dpo now? There is still time but I get your frustration. I am 10dpo and won't test until the missed period, it's too unlikely that I will fall naturally (but not impossible). I take it your fertility testing came back clear?

Laney79 that's disconcerting regarding c sections. Sorry to hear of your needle phobia, that must be difficult on top of everything else. I have never heard of a birth options clinic, what will they do for you?

@Boboelephant massive hugs babe. Is your temp still high?? Was it frer or IC?

@weasledee sorry af showed babe. But I guess it's a relief in some way.

Oh @Boboelephant and @weasledee so sorry for the bfn/AF arrival. It's so hard when you are full of such hope and have done everything "right" it just feels so unfair. Hugs to you both.

@RedRobin7 How have you been overnight? Hugs to you too X

I've had a complete freak out this week. Found out my local ccg were changing their policy to stop routinely funding maternal request csections without clinical indication. With my phobia I decided long ago if we were ever to have a child that's the only birth I could handle as it's much more controlled. So seeing that utterly freaked me out. Several emails later to the ccg and birthrights and I ended up in tears on the phone to the woman in charge of maternity transformation locally. As a result it looks like I'll be referred to the birth options clinic straight away rather than waiting For any future BFP. Feels weird as I'm not pregnant (well that I know of 6dpo) but equally if it goes ok hopefully it's one of the big fears/stresses that I can pack away and not focus on whilst we're ttc. I know I'm mad. Most women are desperate to avoid a section, here I am desperate to have one if I'm ever lucky enough to get to the point of giving birth. Honestly this journey takes the crazy and magnifies it massively xxx