TTC after pregnancy loss- thread 23 🐧🐧

TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3310070-ttc-after-pregnancy-loss-thread-24

Hey @Angelbabyollie Just letting you know you've posted in the old thread! I dunno how to share the link to the new one!

Thanks for new thread can keep up with other!

Age 42
Mmc 2016
Angel baby boy died at 12 days
And her I am 12 weeks later ttc as age is against me 😞

Positive thoughts for everyone xx

Lol, after I posted my last message the new thread popped up on my page! Thanks @RedRobin7

@Bobzybaby Are you on the mobile app? If so, when you're in the thread you can slide the title across and click on "watch" 😊... not sure about web version but I thought it was automatic!

Hey, I've clicked the link to the new thread and added my details. Will I automatically 'watch' the new thread? If not, anyone know how I add it? Thanks

Hi @KnitKitty I think you have such a healthy attitude to this all- and you're right, it is important for us to feel grief and deal with our emotions head on. A good cry is always a good thing
With regards the clumpy white Cm- I have no idea! But I thought ewcm disappears as soon as ovulation happens- so maybe you're right and it has already happened. Do you temp or use opks?
Anyway Fx that you guys dtd in the right moment ! And I think @Mistymeow's analysis sounds about right!

@RedRobin7 eugh your boss sounds like a heartless bitch! Sorry! It's a tough situation- even letting work know we're TTC is risky- even though there's laws against it! When I was pregnant with my dd, suddenly all my projects were handed over to other guys on my team! It was so frustrating!

Ooh new thread! I'll hop over

Link to the new thread:

TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3310070-ttc-after-pregnancy-loss-thread-24

@Boboelephant Okay I'll do it and just copy your template from last time! Will post link in a mo.

@Mistymeow @robin78 My HR are amazing and told me not to worry about having time off again. My manager is the worry though as she's not based in the U.K. When I returned to work after the first MC she made a generic comment to the team about how when something bad happens we shouldn't cry about it, we should get on with it. I felt like she was directing that at me. She doesn't like weak people and I've witnessed her make someone's life hell so that they would leave. I really don't want that to happen to me. I will ask the HR person when I return next week what happens if we try again and I need more time off because it's gone wrong again.

@TedLife I'm in a similar situation with my job. My husband told me I needed to leave my previous job and find somewhere closer if we wanted to start a family. So when I joined this place almost 3 years ago I never planned to be here now! I'm not happy because of my manager is horrible (see above!) and there's a lot of European travel which I don't like doing. At the same time I'm staying because I want to have a baby and not have to worry about the stress of changing my job. I think if we keep having miscarriages then there's going to have to be a point where we say that's enough and we will then think about moving and changing our jobs. My husband and I are both unhappy with where we live and our jobs but everything is on hold! It sucks.

@KnitKitty So sorry your cycle is being confusing this month. Sometimes when I don't feel the pain I wonder if it happened overnight when I was asleep. Maybe you should try the sticks as they do give more of an idea when to expect it. Perhaps hide the tests from your OH so he doesn't feel the pressure. Fingers crossed you've DTD at the right time 🤞

@redrobin7 I totally get where you are coming from re: thinking about possible future mcs while also trying again. Last time when it wasn't my month I did think 'oh well, at least I won't have a mc for my 40th' which is a bit grim. I am still hopeful enough to want to try again, although sometimes I feel like I just have to try again so that I know I've tried rather than thinking it will work out for me. Is there someone you can talk to at work about your concerns (HR, or if you are in a union you could speak to them - I know both these things apply to some workplaces and not others so sorry if that is pie in the sky advice for you)? Don't apologise for being a downer, we all have bad days and good days, that's what this place is for.

@knitknitty Sending hugs! It sounds to me like you already ov-ed. Try not to worry about that last potential opportunity. For all we want to optimise our chances it just isn't always possible to have every base covered. Often once is all it takes and sounds like your 'once' was well-timed! Time to relax (ho ho) into the tww, I think. Can you plan something relaxing (mediation, yoga, a nice walk?) as a way of telling yourself you are moving into a new phase of your cycle?

@virgo89 so sorry you are going through this. The early days are so hard. But welcome to the group. Have you had a negative pregnancy test yet? I would advise to make sure you have one before you start trying as that can get confusing otherwise.

I'm currently on cd11 and trying the old SMEP plan again. Last time we tried it it we were really scraping around towards the end, missed at least the last 2 and I decided it wasn't for us - but then it resulted in a BFP (even though that story did not have a happy end ...). This time my attitude is to use it as more of a guide.

Thanks @Kintan, hope you’re doing OK after your sad news. I loved being part of that group but this one seems pretty great too.

Thanks so much @Mistymeow and I’m so sorry for your loss. MN has been such a comfort over the last week - with the practical side as well as with the reminder that we aren’t going through this alone, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

@ronniemipperton oh I am sorry to see you here - I was on the same Feb 2018 thread as you. Hope you are coping ok, it really sucks to be here but the support here is amazing xx
@KnitKitty keeping my fingers crossed you’ve caught the egg this month. Sorry you are feeling rubbish though - sending you hugs xx

@strawberrye definitely having beer tonight! Your wool is beautiful. It's a lovely idea. I think I will do the same when I'm pregnant with my rainbow (hopefully, one day) x

@KnitKitty I also had a wobbly moment last month about this myself. I usually track with CM and ovulation pain too but started using opks and temping. I have found the temping useful because the temp shift confirms ovulation has occurred and it means I can time dtd (helpful for us as DH has a low sperm count). I think it's unlikely that you didn't ovulate, I don't ovulate exactly the same time each month and I have ewcm at different times. If you dtd whilst you had ewcm then I'm sure you have a good chance as your body is telling you its fertile time! I use fertility friend to track my temp, then I'll casually tell DH "oh next wednesday to sunday look good, how interesting" and DH says "oh how interesting indeed" and strokes his chin. We keep it light ;) but I definitely recommend fertility friend and tracking temps, very reassuring.

@ronniemipperton sorry to hear of your loss, I also had been trying for years when I suffered a miscarriage at 9 weeks, then had an erpc. It does get better, I promise. Please return when you are ready. Rest up x

@KnitKitty oh sorry to hear you had a wobbler last night. Remember you can sometimes get multiple patches of fertile CM in one cycle so the big O may not have happened yet. And if it has then those spermies from Sunday will be well positioned waiting for the egg to appear! TTC especially after MC is really tough, I think you're right to allow yourself to feel your emotions and process them rather than block the negative ones out. I'm sure you'll feel more positive soon Hopefully this will make you smile - a picture of my progress to date on my rainbow baby blanket haha!

@Virgo89 so sorry to hear about your loss, welcome to the group. Periods and cycles can generally be a bit odd after miscarriage, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. They only say to wait because it makes it easier for dating purposes so if you're desperate to get back on the TTC jump on! (as long as bleeding stopped and you feel emotionally & physically ready of course)

@Mistymeow sorry for AF, but good to hear your cycles are nice and regular now. Crack open the this evening?

@ronniemipperton welcome to the group and so sorry to hear about your loss, especially so close to your birthday. Feel free to lurk/post when you feel ready

@Virgo89 I'm so sorry. I also miscarried at 9 weeks with an empty sac, it was a terrible shock. My first af was also two days of heavy bleeding then nothing (although I did have an ERPC so there wasn't much lining). I believe this is completely normal and I would count the first day of your heavy bleeding as cd1. I would go with what your doctor advises about trying again. Mainly it seems people are recommended to wait for one period, for dating purposes. I was told that I could try straight away once the bleeding had stopped and I had a negative pregnancy test- I imagine you are fine to try again if you feel ready.

Hi everyone, not joining properly just yet as I only had my ERPC yesterday (first pregnancy after years of trying, MMC at 10 weeks) and it’ll be a while before my head and body are in the right place, but thought I’d post as this looks like such a supportive group. (Also it’s my birthday today and I am acutely aware of time ticking by so hoping to try again as soon as we can.)

Congrats to the BFPs and fingers crossed for everyone trying.

Kintan hope you find your reiki session as cathartic as I did. Let us know how it goes.

Blondcat has AF shown up yet?

MrsLCW I'm so glad that you've had a good scan and everything looks good! Re the bleeding, a nurse told me that often it's unexplained, but there's a theory that sometimes you've made such a good lining to keep bub safe in there's an excess of it and some needs to shed. Congratulations and very best of luck to you! Keep us updated. xxxx

Lovemysparkle Thank you for sharing that inspiring story about your colleague, it really goes to show there's always hope! She must be an incredibly strong lady!
And talking of strong ladies, I'm glad you're doing ok. Wobbles are completely expected. It's nice to know that your DH is being so supportive and good that you're under a consultant. I hope the glucose situation rights itself or gets under control. Best of luck to you and thanks for dropping in!

Hi Jessabean I'm glad you've been feeling more positive again.
When are your exams? (Good luck with them!)
I know what you mean about the sometimes ill-timing of events around you when TTC. My sister is getting married next year and is thinking of doing it either March/April or September/October but leaning more towards spring time. It means if I've managed to get pregnant this month I'll be about to pop or have a newborn (or not be able to go), or if she has it in autumn I may have to be careful with timings... We shall just see what life throws at us and go along with it!

Hugs Angelbabyollie. After MC that aching to be pregnant is so strong, we understand. Try not to put pressure on yourself for it to happen immediately though. Sometimes your body and mind just need some extra time to heal. I know getting pregnant again feels like it will solve that feeling of emptiness, but feeling that grief is good for you, so have a good cry whenever you need to.
Fingers crossed that you will get your rainbow baby soon. We're all here for you in the meantime.

Yes, robin78 I know what you mean about feeling like you've developed an emotional shell. I had a good cry last night, only for 5 minutes or so and then cheered up again, so I'm trying to make more of an effort not to fight the feelings when they bubble up and just go with them. I think I've been afraid that if I let all the sadness, worry and grief come out it'll never stop, but last night proved I can let it out and feel better again after. We can do this!

sweetpea0318 No, I haven't read about it, but I will look into it now! It's all fascinating stuff, isn't it?
I'm sorry you're feeling so hopeless at the moment. My telling you not to give up hope probably won't help, but in case you need to hear it; you're not over the hill!!!

Huge hugs InDreamland

Hi LilacIris sounds like some positive things going on. Good luck with TTC again. xxx

Hi PurpleFushia I'm glad you're feeling more relaxed after your holiday! Good luck with this cycle! xxx

TedLife I am in exactly the same boat as you at work. I'm still on the fence about looking elsewhere or not but it's getting worse and worse by the day!!! At least 8 people have left or handed in their notices in the last month. I feel like the last man standing (almost literally). I did apply for a job last week but I'm not sure about starting to look more seriously or not... it's a tricky one.

RedRobin79 Just sending you another hug. Hope you manage to find something that makes you smile today. xxx

Hi Virgo89, sorry I don't really have anything useful to say as I haven't experienced a 2-day period before. Was it like proper period bleeding, or was it lighter than that?
Welcome to our huddle!

So ladies, I had a bit of melt down last night because I tried to get OH in the mood and it wasn't happening.
Basically I have ovulated on CD17 the last two cycles and have been aiming for that again. However on Monday (CD17) I had no ovulation pain, which I usually get. So I thought maybe it hasn't happened yet and so tried to DTD with OH.
I got frustrated and upset that it's just so hard trying, let alone after a MC and all those feelings you'll be familiar with as warriors after MC.
I then checked my CM and it was clumpy and whitish coloured (had EWCM a couple of days ago when I checked), so this means I have already ovulated, right??
I can but cross my fingers that we managed to make a little miracle when we DTD on Sunday. I'm wondering if I actually didn't ovulate at all this month and I'm just not feeling like this was our month and it's made me feel low (and I'm trying to go with the feeling rather than block it as I have been doing). Hugs and reassurance needed please.

Good morning AF! I've missed you so! :p Actually, it's bang on time. Horrible hormones but I'm relieved I've had three regular cycles. @boboelephant I'll probably see you again in the 2ww :D

@PurpleFushia you sound a lot like me, love my coffee! I've cut it down massively, feels much better. I don't do the opks more than once a day because I find I start to see a strong line at around 2pm on a certain day. I think it varies from woman to woman but if you feel you're not getting a strong line as expected I would take a second one later in the day.

@RedRobin7 glad your bleeding is easing off. Sorry that you don't feel secure in your job. I would think, but I'm no expert, that there should be a HR policy on taking sick leave after a miscarriage. Surely it's discriminatory to dismiss someone on those grounds. I'm also going to start looking for a new job, I feel like mine don't really care. It makes such a difference having good people around you.

@InDreamland rest up now. Give yourself plenty of time. We have all been there, it will get better for you I promise. If you can, try to get out in the sunshine today and give yourself some quiet time. It really helped me in the days after my miscarriage.

@Virgo89 and I am very sorry for your loss. This is a lovely group for advice and support so hope the huddle helps and let's hope a BFP is coming your way real soon.

@Virgo89 after my MMCand D&C my first period was a bit odd - few days fairly light then nothing then it started again quite heavy but only a couple of days. I was advised to wait for two cycles but the consultant did say it would be ok if I did get pregnant in first cycle. Reason to wait given we're 1- dating purposes for successful pregnancy and 2- ensuring the lining in the womb was thick enough. The second reason might be particular to having a surgical procedure which would make sense to me but I'm not sure whether it applies to natural or medical miscarriage management.

Hi all,

I believe I have just had my first period after my miscarriage (found out at 9 weeks that I had an empty sac, was very shocked, only went to the EPU to be safe cos I'd had some spotting, so was very upset at the outcome) so I'm happy that my period has arrived, however it's only lasted for 2 days? I had one day where it was fairly heavy and then it got lighter the next day and now seems to have stopped already? Did anyone else experience this?

I'm keen to try again but not sure if that was my first period or whether I should wait another month for a more "normal" period? Don't really want to wait any longer, just want to try again, already feel like I've been waiting forever..

Any advice would be much appreciated!