Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

507 replies

KnitKitty · 13/06/2018 18:26

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
39
ChaosMoon · 07/08/2018 08:46

Thank you @CookieWaffle @KnitKitty.

I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better KnitKitty. You're right, everyone has bad days, but this thread is such a help when we do! I always feel like I have to find a positive, or at least something I want to try, before I post. But, as you say, it's such a help to go through the process of finding that affirmation, or working out what I want to do. And in the meantime, I can read all the other positivity and borrow that!

Love that idea of focusing on the good. I may borrow that today.

CookieWaffle · 06/08/2018 22:16

About to pass out on a long day but glad no bad news today @ChaosMoon. Will be thinking of you and tiny bean over the next few days xx

Original poster
KnitKitty · 06/08/2018 21:37

Wow so much to catch up on since yesterday morning!!

Firstly, ChoasMoon Huge hugs! Well done for being so brave and thinking of the positive at a difficult time.
Bleeding in early pregnancy is actually very common. Some women bleed every month right the way through pregnancy at the time their period would normally be. Sometimes your cervix can bleed too, with the hormone changes it can be very sensitive. I bled very early on in pregnancy (before I even knew I was pregnant and then a bit after I found out) and one of the nurses at the EPU said a lot of the time it's just unexplained bleeding but there's a theory that sometimes you've created such a thick healthy lining that you're over-fertile and some of it needs to shed. So lots could be going on right now! I have absolutely everything crossed for you that the HCG keeps rising by Thursday. xxx

TedLife Just hoiking up my positive pants! Thank you for that! haha!
I think I'm going to use your affirmation this week. I needed to read that.

Frazzelrock They say drink until it's pink.
I've come to the conclusion that there's no point putting life on hold for "what ifs", it just makes life duller and we need to be enjoying life to be at our most relaxed and happy when TTC. PLENTY of women have fallen pregnant and kept drinking before they found out and have perfectly healthy babies. In the first month your baby gets its nutrients directly from the yolk sac too, not from mamma's blood supply. I would say, don't over-do it, but do enjoy yourself. A glass or two here and there should be fine.

I've found that my body is a lot different in terms of TTW symptoms after MC. Weird and I've no idea why, but it's a common phenomenon.

So today's word is FOCUS. I know we all struggle to stay positive sometimes; I for one have been struggling a little more than usual this week. I wouldn't expect any of us never to have bad days, or to find it easy to be positive all the time, but we need to focus our attention on the small positives in our day even when the negative is shouting a little louder so we can find the path back to a happier feeling more easily. I've posted a couple of pictures of my quotes for the day on this theme.

You guys have been a brilliant help with grounding me today. I've been spiralling a bit, but reading through these messages and looking for a positive quote to post for you has made me feel so much better again. Thank you sunshine ladies!

Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey
Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey
OP posts:
ChaosMoon · 06/08/2018 16:57

@Frazzlerock I adore your amazing 5 day catch up! It's a really difficult decision to make. I've definitely had a drink or two in the 2ww, and I personally agree that life needs to carry on while you're trying. I just go a bit easier than I might do otherwise. It's probably still worth getting that taxi!

I can't remember (and I'm sorry but I'm lazier than you) did you say that you do temping or OPKs?

Frazzlerock · 06/08/2018 16:17

@ChaosMoon I had no idea about that! It is risky for me as I will never really know when or if I have ovulated yet.
DP and I are having a 'date night' tonight as my boys are with their father until tomorrow. DP suggested we get a cab to the restaurant so we can both drink, he is very adamant we carry on as normal and if it happens it happens so I don't want to say "I'm scared to sabotage a possible pregnancy" but I also don't want to put my life on hold which is exactly what he wants to avoid.
God this TTC (or not TTC but TTC...) malarky is so hard

Frazzlerock · 06/08/2018 16:10

Hi again,

God, I was rambling on about my bloody 2WW and whether or not to drink alcohol and now I've read though the last five pages since I last posted and loads has happened!

I shall start from the top

@CookieWaffle What did you buy at Ikea? I've not been there for ages. I'm waiting for my BFP so I have an excuse to go!
BTW, I had Applejack My Little Pony! I wish I kept it, they look totally different now. Bloody ugly looking things!

@ChaosMoon WOW! WOW! WOW! Just WOW! I'm so pleased for you, and I love your quote back on 21st July "Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path." I'd never have believed this during my two year hell, but now I have hope on the horizon I love it. How are you feeling? Has it sunk in yet? Sorry to hear about the scare, it's such a worrying time isn't it.
BTW, what gig did you go to? Anyone we'd know? I love live music.
Also, the sore boob thing.. I do that regularly during my supposed 2WW but I poke them to see if they hurt, then they hurt because I've poked them Hmm

@KnitKitty Can you remember that YouTube video you saw? (Pregnancy after MC) Could you share a link if so? How's the beautiful pupster? Do you have any photos to share? I'd have a house of pets if I could. We have three cats and a crested gecko, plus a tank waiting to be filled with an axolotl when we can finally get hold of one. If you don't know what they are, google them - they are so cute. Great news on the prospect of a promotion! And yes, it is so good to have that feedback whatever happens Smile
Your 'pep-talk' is awesome BTW, I think I need to have that tattooed to the insides of my eyelids!

@VenusStarr How is the new bed? New carpets too! My friend has gorgeous carpets, they are sooo soft. I need to find out where she got them. We have the carpet the house came with but it could do with renewing as the cats have scratched them to buggery.
How was the wedding?

@Angelmiracle I am googling kinesiologists near me now! How are you feeling and when is your booking in appointment?

@TedLife hello, welcome to this lovely thread Smile
I struggle a lot with seeing other ladie's BFPs on boards. It's not that i'm not glad for them but i feel so sad that it's not me, and wondering why it's not me. But I haven't lived their life or been through everything they have so I need to stop thinking about positive pregnancy tests as a limited quota that are given out to everyone else and I get missed. I will try to be better at this.
Yes! I totally relate to this. It is probably why I stay away quite a bit. I was so much worse after my MC's in the two years DP put the baby ban on. I was horrid, and couldn't bear to discover new pregnancies that weren't mine. I never want to go there again. I'm so much better since the baby ban has been lifted, friends and family have even noticed the difference in my well being and commented on how much happier I seem. I still struggle with other BFPs but I know that one day there is a chance for me too.
How was your fertility massage? What does that entail?

@chanel05 good luck on your new cycle!

Question:
Do you have to have EWCM to ovulate? Mine is nearly always creamy if not sticky and dry. In all my years of tracking ovulation, I have never had EWCM, but there is a chance I have missed it and I have been pregnant four times so... But now I am manically looking for it every day.

I've decided to wait until CD50 before I even contemplate testing.
I've been taking Inositol powder for a couple of weeks now and also using Conceive Plus the past week. My app has pushed my ovulation day back 2 days, no idea why. I'm now on CD26, PCOS is SO BORING!!
However, I think I am getting the metallic taste I seem to get a couple of weeks before AF. This is a relatively new thing that my PCOS tries to fool me with, but I am onto it. I won't fall for that trick again! Metal mouth now used to = pregnancy. It now means AF is on it's merry way. I still have no idea if I have ovulated. My cycles are a bit of a joke really!

ChaosMoon · 06/08/2018 15:23

Hello sunshine ladies. The doctor saw what she thinks is a gestational sack in my uterus, but as I'm only at 4 weeks it was too small for her to be sure. So I had blood tests today, and I have more on Wednesday. I'll hopefully find out on Thursday whether my HCG levels are going in the right direction.

So, positive affirmations all the way. My baby is loved, my baby is safe, my baby is in the right place.

I like yours too @TedLife.

@Frazzlerock, if you knew for definite you were less than 7dpo, you'd be ok as there's no blood supply, but if not... at this early, but after 7dpo you're likely to damage the foetus but the risk of miscarriage increases if you're drinking. But it has to be your call!

TedLife · 06/08/2018 12:49

@KnitKitty I didn't read your message fully before. Sorry to hear AF finally turned up but also i hope you feel some relief that you're on to a new cycle finally. That was some wait though, i'm sure it's been so difficult for you. I take a break from that other thread around my AF time too each month, it's quite emotionally charged there and I feel I need to use that time to focus on reigniting my motivation and positivity for a new cycle which isn't easy to do when others are (rightly) airing their own stresses and frustrations. Totally understand you taking a break too. Hope you're doing better today.

Today's affirmation: "Each day I feel more peaceful and in control"

Happy Monday ladies xx

Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey
Frazzlerock · 06/08/2018 10:20

Hi all,

I'm sorry I've been away so long. I'll have a read through in a bit.

My only news is I am about to enter the 2WW (lots of BDing past few days) and we are on holiday from Weds and it's all inclusive with alcohol included. Do I take advantage and enjoy our holiday with the free booze? Or put my life on hold 'just in case'?
I don't even know for sure if I am entering the 2WW or if I'm already on it or what. I'm just going by what my apps say (based on a 40 day cycle) - but with PCOS who knows! I might not even be anywhere near the 2WW. It is all a complete mystery really.

ChaosMoon · 05/08/2018 21:23

Thank you so much ladies. I will do @CookieWaffle. And I hope you're throat is feeling a bit better.

@KnitKitty DH and I have had time where we've got out of kilter. It sucks, but it's so good that you've been able to talk about it. You are so strong, and have such a great outlook. You can get through this together, just as you've got through other tough times in your life.

@VenusStarr I'm glad the wedding was mostly fun. They're always emotional though and seeing those babies will have drawn on that as well as all the crazy ttc emotions. I hope you've had a nice day distracting yourself from it.

@TedLife I hope you've refound your positivity this evening - and you're managing not to melt!

@Chanel05 I hope you're feeling positive about your new opportunity.

Baby dust to one and all.

CookieWaffle · 05/08/2018 19:50

Oh @ChaosMoon I got all teary reading that. Glad the GP thought it'll be OK. And so glad that DH was there for you and you got to spend a nice afternoon. Please let us know how you get on xx

@KnitKitty glad you got to have a chat with OH. Neither my Oh or me are good at talking but it really helps when we do xx

@VenusStarr I met 2 new babies last week. It was pretty tough but was lovely to see them so happy

TedLife · 05/08/2018 19:43

Poor you @ChaosMoon what a scary time but you seem to be doing so well dealing with it all. Sending you extra positive thoughts today and hope you're feeling ok xx

VenusStarr · 05/08/2018 19:18

Sorry to hear you've had a scary time @ChaosMoon, sending love and best wishes for tomorrow xx 💜

ChaosMoon · 05/08/2018 18:32

Thank you all. Not just for your congratulations and well wishes, but because of everything you've taught me over the last 3 months.

I haven't been on here since yesterday. Woke up this morning to some bleeding. Only very light but definite red blood and enough to freak me out completely. NHS 111 got me an appointment within the hour at an out of hours surgery and DH took me down there.

I spent the car journey telling my baby every positive affirmation I could think of, reassuring it, and myself, that we would be ok. On the way in, DH gave me the biggest hug and said "I'm sure everything's going to be ok. But if the worst happens, at least we know we can make a baby".

It was like hearing you guys. That's when I realised how much I must have talked about you and how much he'd listened.

Pregnancy test at the GP was still positive and the bleeding stopped. She examined me, and thinks the baby'll be ok but I need a scan tomorrow to check its implanted in the right place.

This afternoon, we've done nice countryside things that always cheer us up. I feel like you've all helped me remember the best coping mechanisms for handling this. So thank you.

Sorry for the very long post, all about me. Love you all.

Original poster
KnitKitty · 05/08/2018 17:07

CookieWaffle I've been doing some weeding today, and cleaned the front door which had got very dirty indeed. Feels all fresh now.

VenusStar I'm glad you had fun at the wedding, even if you are feeling delicate!
It's really hard when you see very pregnant women or newborns. But, our time will come.

I'm having to force the positive today.
Work is super stressful at the moment. I thought I'd been doing well at coping with it but from what OH said this morning I think it's been to the detriment to our home life. I think I'm focusing too much on being zen during the day and then shutting off in the evening to conserve energy and OH feels like we're not interacting much and aren't in sync very much.
I've been finding it hard to be happy since my MC, and have been battling the feeling of nothing going my way for a while, which I know is not a healthy attitude to have (hence this thread!) but OH wasn't as affected by the MC, started a new job at the beginning of June which has given him great work/life balance for the first time and made loads of new friends and his social life is great right now. So we're not at all on the same page.
We did have a good talk about it this morning though so I think we're both mulling over it to find ways to get back on track.
Just been playing Mario Tennis together. Think I'll join him with some painting this evening.

Just been giving myself a pep-talk RE: not being pregnant this cycle, again.
Good things about this are:
My body has had longer to heal from MC and know itself better.
This oddly long cycle I've had may have been needed by my body to get back to its normal.
I've been taking vitamins for longer now, so hopefully healthy eggs are waiting.
My OH stopped smoking in February, so the longer time since that the better for his little spermies!
It might be better to be pregnant when it's a bit cooler than it is now.
If I'm not pregnant this time, at least I haven't caught a bean which wasn't meant to be and lost the pregnancy. I'd rather it never happen in the first place than get my hopes up for something I later can't have.

Today's quote:
"It doesn't matter how slowly you go, as long as you don't stop."

OP posts:
VenusStarr · 05/08/2018 16:24

Hi everyone. I'm feeling a little delicate today. Had a lovely time at the wedding, if a little too much wine! Did get a bit teary at the end of the day, there were a couple of tiny newborns there. Just want it to be our turn. Feels good to get it out my system though. No sign of af today and haven't got my usual pre-af grumpy mood.

Glad you're no longer in limbo @KnitKitty and onto a fresh new cycle.

Fingers crossed for your new cycle @Chanel05

Have fun gardening tomorrow @CookieWaffle

CookieWaffle · 05/08/2018 14:49

@KnitKitty at least now you know. And you get to treat yourself this weekend. And you too @Chanel05 :) xx

Feeling very non-pregnant and have a swollen sore throat at the moment. Lemsip is doing wonders. Did some silly googling and found that some get a sore throat around implantation so of course that got my mind racing. Tho DP has one too so we can't both be pregnant! Luckily forgot I had no FRERs so have to wait til weds to test anyway! Probably a good thing.

Anyway, the sun is shining, DP is making dinner and I have a day out of the office tomorrow! Will be getting some gardening done! Grin

Original poster
KnitKitty · 05/08/2018 12:31

Hi sunshine ladies,

Chanel05 good luck in your new cycle! :) AF is a good excuse to treat yourself to anything you've been avoiding in TTW, so enjoy!

VenusStar how was the wedding? Hope you're having a lovely weekend.

TedLife I'm having a break from the other tread at the moment too. Just need some head space. How are you? Up to anything nice at the moment?

ChaosMoon how are the early days going? It's weird, isn't it? You get such a build up and then once you get the BPF you can't tell anyone and just have to wait and wait and wait... How are you feeling?

How are you CookieWaffle?

My period finally started properly yesterday. Feeling relieved.

OP posts:
Chanel05 · 05/08/2018 08:22

Im out for this cycle ladies! Wishing you all the best 🤞

CookieWaffle · 04/08/2018 19:59

@TedLife hope you're feeling a bit better today. It is a bit hot isn't it!

@VenusStarr of course these things come out clear and obvious on tv. None of this line eyes stuff! Bless him, he'll soon know what it means :)

VenusStarr · 04/08/2018 09:40

Morning all, funny story to share (it made me smile anyway!) we were watching 24 yesterday and one of the characters does a pregnancy test and the result is the biggest fattest positive you've ever seen and dh turns to me and says what does that mean? His innocence just made me smile :)

I'm symptom spotting too @Chanel05, had some strange clear jelly cm today, 2 weeks after loads of each - it was very different in consistency to ewcm and I've not had it before. Also had more pinching feelings. Like you, I'm looking forward to my new cycle (but still holding out some hope for this one!)

How is everyone else today? Just painted my nails for the wedding today, have a good Saturday, sunshine ladies ☀

Chanel05 · 04/08/2018 09:28

In the spirit of embracing symptom spotting, I had a little bit of brown cm last night and a little this morning. Going to see how it progresses throughout the day, I’m 11dpo. If af is on the way I just want it to happen now so I can move onto the next cycle 🙈. Had no menstral cramping to go with the cm.

TedLife · 04/08/2018 00:25

@ChaosMoon congratulations! That's wonderful news, wishing you all the best for the next 9 months x

@KnitKitty sorry I took a little break from MN for a couple of days! Thank you for your fabulous image - it's definitely made me smile! The fertility massage is focused around your abdomen and the idea is to encourage circulation and stimulate ovulation etc. It's by a lady nearby who's gotten really great reviews and it's supposed to be about realigning any bad energy too which I really liked. Hopefully it'll be good but I thought it sounded at least worth a try!

Not loving the heat being back ladies. Really struggling with my positivity today, I'm just so tired!! Confused

Chanel05 · 03/08/2018 17:15

@CookieWaffle going to test again on Sunday and then wait to see if af rears her head next week. I’m quite convinced she’s on the way.

@VenusStarr enjoy the wedding this weekend, hopefully you’ll be able to take your mind off things a bit. Great news on the assessment anyway 👍🏻.

ChaosMoon · 03/08/2018 16:17

Well done @VenusStarr! You deserve a lie down.
Thanks @Chanel05. I'm sorry the 2ww is proving to be a rubbish one for you both.

I hope everyone's got nice weekend plans, to distract and relax you.