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Original poster

Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

507 replies

KnitKitty · 13/06/2018 18:26

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

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ChaosMoon · 18/08/2018 20:34

@CookieWaffle they seem to be, thank you hon. I have moments of anxiety, but I'm doing fairly well keeping them at bay.

My mum had a number of miscarriages before me and my sister. I think the way she sees it, is that if that hadn't happened, my sister and I wouldn't have existed. Your children will come along at the right time for them. What you go through to get them, can only serve to make you value them more, and make you an even better mum. Hugs.

@KnitKitty I'm glad it went well!

Lov3Rosie · 18/08/2018 07:50

@CookieWaffle Sending my big hugs to you xxx

CookieWaffle · 17/08/2018 23:39

Thank you ladies, it's been a tough day. I just don't know how people who have dealt with multiples handle it. But I need to learn as it's just part of the process, something I never imagined but quite common.

Glad you had a good day KnitKitty and a good talk with your boss xx

ChaosMoon I hope things are progressing well with you xx

Original poster
KnitKitty · 17/08/2018 21:37

And just wanted to add this proverb...

Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey
OP posts:
Original poster
KnitKitty · 17/08/2018 21:36

I'm so sorry CookieWaffle. Huge hugs xxx I hope you're being extra kind to yourself at the moment. Take things easy. xxx

Thanks Lov3Rosie the stye is getting better. :)

I did manage to have a chat with my manager today and I'm glad I did. I felt better just for off-loading.

I had quite a good day actually, and one of my customers brought me an orchid as a thank you! Smile

Quote for the weekend:
"Storms make trees take deeper roots." Dolly Parton

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ChaosMoon · 17/08/2018 20:50

Biggest hugs @CookieWaffle. I'm so sorry you're going through this again and so impressed with your strength. I'm glad you have a plan, and that it's giving you some hope.

@KnitKitty did you talk to them today or are you waiting until next week? I love your mantra. It's something you and CookieWaffle embody beautifully.

@Lov3Rosie that's a lovely one too. It reminds me of mine. I attached it. I think "unless you're busy" can easily be replaced with "unless you're TTC", "unless you feel like wallowing at home" or a multitude of others.

DH and I have booked a last minute hotel in the country, so we can up our quota this weekend.

Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey
CookieWaffle · 17/08/2018 20:01

DP Dearest Partner
CP Chemical Pregnancy, didn't get to 5 weeks

Lov3Rosie · 17/08/2018 18:55

@KnitKitty, thank you. Looking forward to our dinner and catch up. My hubby gave them a tour this afternoon to the castle then a walk at the beach. How are you with your stye? Hope it's gone now. If still there, my lovely Mum in law advised that a cold tea bag on your eye will do the magic healing. I understand what you are going through with work. That's good that you plan to speak with your manager so he could advise and hope you can come up with a win-win situation. I do wish you well for your upcoming interview and hope it is your heart's desire. x

@CookieWaffle, what is CP and DP? I am still familiarising myself with all the terms Grin

My affirmation today: Enjoy the present moment. Live for today. :) (I thought about this when I was watering my garden. I appreciate the fruits from the apple and pear trees.)

CookieWaffle · 17/08/2018 13:53

Hi ladies, sounds like you two have got lovely weekends sorted. @KnitKitty I will be stealing your affirmation today. Unfortunately I had another CP so today I am trying to focus less on the disappointment and more on what I have and what I have to look forward to. DP and I have made a plan and today I am making the first steps towards that plan. Full steam ahead :)

Original poster
KnitKitty · 17/08/2018 09:11

Morning!

Lov3Rosie that sounds like a lovely evening planned. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

What are everyone else's weekend plans?

I actually have the weekend off this week! (I usually work at least Saturday, and sometimes Sunday too, but once a month I get a weekend off).
I'm planning on picking a new outfit for my interview on Wednesday tomorrow, and helping OH choose some new glasses. We may be going to visit my sister and her fiancé for dinner sometime too.

I have had quite a difficult week at work and have decided enough is enough so I'm planning an informal chat with my manager to raise a complaint about how it's been. So my affirmation for today is:
"I am powerful."

Did anyone else see the incredible moon last night? It looked absolutely enormous! I spotted it while driving and nearly drove off the road! Looking at it seemed to put life into perspective for a few calming minutes. Nature is wonderful for that. Talking of which, I had dinner at a friend's house last night and the dog they're looking after came for lots of cuddles like he sensed I needed them, and that was lovely too. Smile

Hope you all have a lovely day today!

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Lov3Rosie · 17/08/2018 08:38

Happy Friday to all sunshine ladies! :) I would like to share these beautiful prayers as we start our morning.

We got friends over and staying with us until Saturday. It feels so great to provide them shelter on their travels and catched up on what life has been. There is a language barrier as English is not their first language, but we get to understand each other through illustrations and actions. Wink We are going to take them tonight at a restaurant overlooking the beach. Hope everyone is all good and looking forward to the weekend. X

Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey
Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey
CookieWaffle · 15/08/2018 22:42

Hugs for you too @KnitKitty I think that's what started me drifting away from Facebook, too many happy complete families. There's been a bit of a break since the baby boom with my friends so it has been a bit easier to deal with more recently. Tho have a couple of friends with newborns at the mo that I've not geared myself up to go see.

Work bosses are pretty much expecting an announcement from me one day, especially as I had to tell them about the CP when I couldn't leave the house for crying. Only problem is one of them is a notorious gossip, I don't want to tell them solely for that reason. They'd be really happy and supportive, just I can't trust them at all...

Original poster
KnitKitty · 15/08/2018 22:30

Hugs TedLife I had a baby-filled day today... Just babies wherever I looked at work and on my way home... including someone with twins. I'm finding time is a healer and I don't feel that gut-wrench when I see pregnant women or babies anymore, but I still get that sadness creep up and say hello so it was a bit of an emotional roller-coaster. I've had a couple of baby-bombs on Facebook and I find that harder. I suppose it's just jealously, but I really regret not having been able to announce my pregnancy to the world before it ended. I have a scan (6+ weeks and not much to see)... no one has seen it (apart from family). It's a little life that not many people know about and it's just sad that I never got to that joyful announcement stage. BUT I am glad for all of the things my little bean taught me in the short time that I carried it. I know I will be more prepared the second time around, and being on MN has taught me that it's OK to hope and wishes can and do come true. (But not always when you planned them).

For the pregnant ladies. I told my boss I was pregnant at 5 weeks (because I had to take some time off for scans) and I'm glad she knew as it made it easier when things didn't go to plan.
Don't feel superstitious about telling certain people about your pregnancies, you need support whether it goes well or not so well. The first trimester is tricky and nerve wracking and it's nice when you don't have to hide all your emotions from everyone all the time.

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TedLife · 15/08/2018 22:10

@KnitKitty so glad it helped you today, I know I needed it. A friend announced her pregnancy on instagram today and it felt like a knife to the heart. But my hormones are racing at the moment anyway (hello tiredness and spotty face) so I'm trying to be rational and happy for her as best I can.

@CookieWaffle thanks for your reassurance. I hope it will happen before I'm 40 (I'm 32 now!) but if not, I hope I'm able to have your attitude and stay positive Smile

ChaosMoon · 15/08/2018 20:42

That's true of so many things @KnitKitty Like when you need to tidy your house...

I think putting work first is a good idea. I've known someone who started working with us at 4 months pregnant. She didn't get full mat pay, but it still worked out well for her.

@CookieWaffle I had to tell my boss after my trip to the hospital the other week. My follow up was on the day I had a series of meetings that I'd demanded we have, so nothing but the truth would have gotten me out of it. He was brilliant about it though.

I wouldn't have told him quite yet, but probably before the 12 week mark. I think it just makes it easier if you're unwell, going to appointments or whatever. Do you have a good relationship with your boss?

CookieWaffle · 15/08/2018 19:33

@ChaosMoon I

Original poster
KnitKitty · 15/08/2018 18:43

Oh goodness TedLife you've done it again. Spot on with what I needed to hear today. I too have realised that I need to not place all my potential happiness on having a baby. I've actually been managing to keep baby-thoughts on a back-burner recently because my main focus has been work and finding happiness in my job. I'm finding work terribly stressful and not very enjoyable at the moment. I have an interview a week today for something different. I've been umming and ahhing about the timing of getting a new job when TTC, but I've come to the conclusion that I need to put work first right now. Stress doesn't help with TTC or pregnancy, and placing my life on hold while trying isn't going to help. No guarantees I''ll get the job anyway, but a door won't open unless it's pushed. And if it's the right door, it will open.
The TTW is hard. What are you distracting yourself with today?

Thanks ladies, the stye has got worse, but I think for the better. It was hiding under the skin yesterday and quite painful, but today it's "come to a head" so I think it'll start getting better now. Funny how often things have to get worse before they get better, or even in order to get better.

ChaosMoon concentrating on work must be so difficult, and morning sickness isn't fun, but what a good thing that you have lovely thoughts to distract you when you're feeling ill. I hope baby is making a nice comfortable home in there!

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ChaosMoon · 15/08/2018 17:53

Oh and @CookieWaffle I told my mum and sister at the weekend. After last week, I knew I'd want their support if anything went wrong. And I needed their help fooling my aunts into thinking I was drinking on Monday! 😂

10 weeks is such a long time to wait! I'm lucky mine is at week 8 and it still feels like a life time. Thank goodness for all that practice in the 2ww!

ChaosMoon · 15/08/2018 17:46

Thank you @Lov3Rosie and welcome to our lovely thread. I keep musing on the idea of twins. I always thought it would be awful, but now I think it would be perfect.

That's such a lovely idea @KnitKitty. I'm not sure my talents are developed enough for that yet but I'm still tempted to see if mine wants anything similar. I hope your stye us clearing up.

I'm glad you have a plan for the 2ww @TedLife and I love your affirmation. It's so important to remember that.

I'm ok. Lucky enough not to have been actually sick from morning sickness but I constantly feel like I'm going to be. So, my inner monologue at work goes like this.
"I'm going to be sick. No you're not pull yourself together. Yes I am, oh god, oh god. Oooh, but it's because I'm having a baby. this is so exciting! Hello baby how are you? Are you asleep? Can you be asleep before you've been awake? When do you develop a prefrontal cortex? Bloody hell woman do some work. Oh but I feel sick." And so the cycle begins again. I've not yet worked out how to make myself do work. 😁

TedLife · 15/08/2018 08:54

@KnitKitty sorry to hear about your stye! Those can be really uncomfortable so I hope you're feeling better today. I think your idea of knitting for your local hospital is wonderful and the perfect distraction while you're waiting.

Welcome to the thread @Lov3Rosie, hope you find the positivity helpful!

I'm ok, just entered the TWW and on 3dpo (I think). I hate the powerlessness that you feel once FW is over, it's literally a waiting game so i'm trying to practice mindfulness, think of my affirmations and have booked in another session with the fertility massage lady on Friday but this time for reflexology. If nothing else, it'll just be a nice treat!

My affirmation for today and this whole TWW is attached. As much as I really, really want this, I need to know too that i'm enough by myself and not slip into bad thoughts and feeling like I need a baby to make me feel better.

How are you feeling @ChaosMoon and @CookieWaffle?

Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey
Original poster
KnitKitty · 14/08/2018 22:29

Evening ladies,

I'm ok emotionally today TedLife despite having had a rather stressful day. I've also got a stye in my eye which is a bit painful, but discovered the joys of a warm compress. It felt so good on my bad eye that I did it on both and it was very relaxing! Silver linings!
How are you today?

ChaosMoon It's not bad, it's a great idea!
I'm about 3/4 of a way through making a little baby cardie which I'd got stuck on after going wrong somewhere, but yesterday I got back on track with that. Just need to do the finishing touches on that one now. And now I've started a blanket too. I saw my local hospital post on FB that they'd like some knitted blankets for their intensive care unit, so thought I'd give it a bash and if it's acceptable I'll donate it. It's motivating me to do it a bit quicker than I would if I were just knitting for myself.

Hi Lov3Rosie, welcome to the thread, and to MN. Best of luck with TTC. Seems like you've already had some experience on the roller-coaster of emotions that it entails already. I'm glad you've started looking in to ways to understand your body and cycle better and are making positive steps towards looking after yourself with the yoga and things. I hope you're not on the roller coaster for long and fall pregnant quickly, but if you don't, that's just how things are meant to be. Everything happens when it should. Smile

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CookieWaffle · 14/08/2018 22:18

Thanks for the kind words ladies :) and welcome @Lov3Rosie. Keeping my fingers crossed for you xx

I was mentioning in another thread I had no idea I'd not see any health professional til at least 8 weeks (apparently 10 weeks here). We'll just have to assume it's all happening! Slowly starting to mention things with DP to make it a bit more real, things that are happening to me, what I can't eat, what he can't do. I still find it weird using the P word, and no idea how I'm gonna tell family, if I should tell them yet!

And yes I'm totally gonna start knitting or crochet. I wanna make one of those temperature blankets one day. Plus I love a good trip around Hobbycraft!

Lov3Rosie · 14/08/2018 21:57

Hello sunshine ladies! I had been an avid reader of your thread for a week now and decided to finally sign up to MN about 5 mins ago Blush.

A short story... over 3 weeks ago, I was delayed for about 2 days (my app tracker is always spot on) and on my 3rd day, I had light pink spots which were gone by end of the day. I was in an anxious state all night and as most of us, I relied for Google to provide me with answers to my dilemma. Over the span of 24 hours, I read/watched videos on 2 week wait and learned about the terms like dpo, ttc and dtd (I'm still trying to decipher what the other terms I constantly read here stand for).

My hubby and I plan that this is our year to conceive our little one(s) (Who knows? We may conceive twins or triplets?! Grin). We started in July and thought that was "it" when my period got delayed until I bought the pregnancy tests which were bfn and then, my period arrived (lolz). Based on my app, this week is my fertile window. I also bought ov kit (which I learned from a thread I read here) and started tracking on my ov. Fingers crossed that we conceive this month of August.

Just this Sunday, I started yoga from Yoga Yin video that was shared earlier on this thread. ;)

@KnitKitty - thank you for creating this thread. This is indeed a source of sunshine amongst all the other threads in MN. This thread is full of encouragement, positivity and friendships.

Congratulations to the recent BFPs. I believe it's @CookieWaffle and @ChaosMoon.Flowers

To all the rest of sunshine in this thread, hello to all of you and baby dust to all! (I love it - I can imagine Tinkerbell spreading her fairy dust so we could fly.)

Sharing my source of strength during this conception journey:

"Trust in theLordwith all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shalldirect your paths."

ChaosMoon · 14/08/2018 20:39

@TedLife why do people think it's ok to say things like that? I couldn't imagine doing that to a friend. Hope you're ok.

@CookieWaffle I know where your DP is coming from. I wish there was someone I could check with too! I'm sure when you see your GP they'll understand all your concerns and be supportive.

That sounds like a great day @KnitKitty. What are you knitting? I keep looking at patterns for baby blankets and baby clothes. I think I'm going to practice on a friends baby. It's that bad? 😂

TedLife · 14/08/2018 20:25

How are we doing today ladies? Hope everyone is feeling good xx