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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

507 replies

KnitKitty · 13/06/2018 18:26

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

OP posts:

Thread gallery

ChaosMoon · 26/08/2018 18:18

Oh isn't he a sweetheart! I really hope it pays off @CookieWaffle.

CookieWaffle · 26/08/2018 15:45

Oh wow @KnitKitty well done you! I really should've quit my job a long time ago but I've held off mainly because of the whole TTC lark. Stupid really but I know they'll be supportive and flexible. Just trying not to let the day to day stuff annoy me (and failing badly).

We're in mid BD season at the mo. DP is totally on a mission this month and wants ideal dates in advance. He's been doing plenty of googling too. Don't think he wants to see me upset again, bless him. He's starting to talk to me more about this whole process and I think it's helped to bring us even closer together.

Hope you ladies are having a lovely BH weekend xx

ChaosMoon · 25/08/2018 19:09

Happy bank holiday sunshine ladies.

And massive congratulations @KnitKitty! It's sounded like you've been ready for a change for a while. Listen to your ferocious feminist. Whenever your bfp comes, you'll make it work.

@Eastend2015 that's perfect! You have plenty of time to make a good impression before you go on mat leave. How are you doing with the morning sickness at the moment?

Eastend2015 · 24/08/2018 12:42

Ahhh yay i’m so happy for you @knitkitty! I changed jobs last month and it’s improved my state of mind so much. We took a short break from ttc until I started so am just within the eligibility period for company mat pay. Incredibly fortunate to have conceived this month and I’m sure my state of mind has helped!

Original poster

KnitKitty · 24/08/2018 11:32

TedLife I totally agree with you on what you said about periods. Getting pregnant is not an easy thing. There are so many factors involved and it is called the miracle of life for a reason. And as someone said earlier in this thread, even miracles take a little time (Disney quote). The fact that our bodies are intelligent enough to know when pregnancy hasn't occurred or that a pregnancy which isn't healthy has started and is able to cleans itself is really amazing. how incredible we are!
Did you test this morning?

Well... I've been offered the job! And I've accepted it.
I'm a little nervous about taking on a new job while TTC, but I'm trying to let the ferocious feminist inside me be bolshie about her rights as a woman. Teehee!
No start date or anything yet, and a lot of paperwork to get through before this is official. But feeling good about it.

I also saw this lovely rainbow yesterday a few hours after accepting the job and it felt like a good omen. (It doesn't look as bright on the photo as it did IRL).

How are the rest of you lovely ladies today?

I'm just having a calming cuppa of camomile tea before I set off for work.

Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

OP posts:

zarala · 23/08/2018 22:59

Here here @TedLife !
Everything you said 👌🏼

Good luck for tomorrow!!!

Lov3Rosie · 23/08/2018 20:43

Have a great evening, sunshine ladies. I hope your day all went well xxx

Eastend2015 · 23/08/2018 13:31

@tedlife I totally agree. I think we are taught to find this aspect of our bodies disgusting whereas the human race wouldn’t continue without it. It’s been (extremely) hard to come to terms with but I do prefer to think about bleeding being the only way for that part of your body to clean itself. When TTC we often wish that wouldn’t happen (because we would be pregnant) but it’s true you can’t have babies without it!

Don’t get me started on blue water for sanitary products

TedLife · 23/08/2018 12:28

Hi ladies!

Hope you're having a good day.

@Knitkitty how did your interview go?

I would like to propose a new affirmation today:

"I respect and love my body and all it's processes"

I see a lot on TTC boards that women refer to AF as "the bitch" or "the witch" and say all kinds of negative things about their periods. Having a period is a fundamental female function and I don't like this negativity we're painting it as. Even as teens we're taught to be ashamed of our periods and hide the fact that we have them with tampons and pads being seen as 'dirty' and something to hide. It's not! Without a period we wouldnt be able to get pregnant in the first place

I'm currently 11dpo, I'm hopefully testing in the morning. In the spirit of being positive I'm really trying to keep this in mind today. If my period does show up tomorrow or over the weekend, instead of being angry or sad or wishing it away. I'm going to try to thank my body for operating properly, for cleansing itself naturally and preparing for a new cycle.

Sorry if this is a bit hippy dippy but it does bug me that we're taught from a young age to resent our periods and that this is reinforced when ttc. Women are amazing.

ChaosMoon · 23/08/2018 07:05

Oh. I posted to early. I'm sure I had something else to say but it's gone...

I've let DH focus in positivity this week. He's been spoiling me rotten. I could get used to this.

I'm going to snooze again now.

ChaosMoon · 23/08/2018 07:03

I'm really glad it went well @KnitKitty. Do you know if you'll take it if they do offer it? I hope they were nice.

Sorry I've been awol ladies. I have been exhausted this week. It's taking me ages to read anything and by the time I've finished I've forgotten what I wanted to say...

@Spottyyellowdress I'm really glad the tests came back ok. Your OH sounds like such a sweetie. What are the next steps for you now?

@Eastend2015 that's a great article. They always used to hate positive affirmations. I could just couldn't get on with that. But throughout this process and actually found them pretty lifesaving. I think the trick was the that actually resonated with me. If someone has started to dwell, they may need help to stop them slipping into depression. But most emotions serve a purpose, at least initially and rejecting then outright doesn't work.

Original poster

KnitKitty · 22/08/2018 16:59

Thanks Sunshine Ladies!

I didn't disgrace myself. Did the best I could, so it's in the hands of fate now. You never know who else you're up against, there might be someone better suited for the job, who knows. Will just have to wait and see!

Spottyyellowdress that's wonderful! Relaxation is the best!

OP posts:

Spottyyellowdress · 22/08/2018 10:55

@knitkitty All the luck in the world today! 🤞

So I’ve just been for my first acupuncture treatment and ohmygod I feel so unbelievably relaxed!

Eastend2015 · 22/08/2018 10:42

Ooh love that quote @lov3rosie

Good luck today @knitkitty, changing jobs has been a great decision so I really hope it works out for you! I hope you are planning to celebrate o day too

ChaosMoon · 22/08/2018 09:43

Good luck today @KnitKitty!

Will catch up properly with everyone later. Xx

Lov3Rosie · 22/08/2018 08:32

@KnitKitty - sending all my wishes for your interview. Hope all goes well x

My affirmation today:
"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

We watched the Equaliser last night (a warm-up before we watch the Equaliser II). This quote was shown at the beginning of the film.

Thank you for this thread which has been a venue to uplift each other in our TTC journey x

Original poster

KnitKitty · 21/08/2018 20:32

TedLife I like that saying, it's very reassuring.

Eastend2015 interesting read with the post you linked to. I agree with the author that there is a time and a place for being positive. Sometimes you need to feel the feels, sometimes you need to voice the concerns and the worries. You can't deal with grief without allowing yourself to cry and ache inside. Sometimes you just need to feel like sh!t to feel better again. But I do feel that if you let too much negative in, it can take over and run your life. I was appalled to read her experience with the nurse brushing past the mental-health question when she'd already been through miscarriage. I haven't been lucky enough to experience pregnancy again since my MC (apart from very brief CP), but I know how hard I might find it and am already trying to think of ways to make it easier when the time comes. I know those fears and 'what ifs' will always be lurking, but I think it's important to allow the positive voice in your head win most of the time or you just end up being miserable all the time. That's my theory anyway.

Spottyyellowdress I'm glad your acupuncture consultation went well. I've heard loads of good things about it from many people, so I hope it helps you too. I think feeling like you've got some control really helps when dealing with all this waiting around and uncertainty.
Your bank holiday weekend away sounds FABULOUS! I hope you have a really lovely time! coughnotjealoushonestcough

I don't have plans for the bank holiday weekend as I'll be working on Monday, but I think it'll be a nice relaxed day at work and I might be able to catch up with some jobs!

I think I may have ovulated... My CM is the non-fertile kind after EWCM last week, and I've been feeling more tired and had a bit of nausea and boob pain. I don't usually get these symptoms and I usually get a bit of ovulation pain which I haven't had, so I'm not sure what's going on. Last cycle was a longer one, and I don't think I ovulated then, so I could be having the same this time so not assuming I'm in the TTW yet.
I get more peace-of-mind without temping or OPKs, so I'm not going to start any of that for now. Ignorance is bliss right now. I basically don't know when AF is due. First cycles post MC were 28/29 days and ovulation on CD17 (going by pains and facial spots), last cycle was 35 days and not sure I ovulated at all.

My interview is tomorrow morning. Not feeling nervous right now. Not even sure I want the job so I'm just going into it more curious about if it looks like a nice place to work or not. Think I'll be seeing my mum for a coffee in the afternoon.

OP posts:

Spottyyellowdress · 21/08/2018 12:49

@KnitKitty what a bloody lovely, supportive thread. So glad I got directed this way.

I’ve been for an initial consultation with an acupuncturist today which has made me feel like I’m taking control and also got print outs of my blood tests so maybe she can identify an issue. Going for my first treatment tomorrow.

We’ve got a bank holiday weekend away booked in a yurt in the middle of nowhere which I absolutely cannot wait for - means neither of us can furiously google every little twinge and get worked up and actually spend some time together properly ❤️

How is everyone else today?

Eastend2015 · 21/08/2018 12:40

I don’t think it’s possible to be positive all the time. I’m a little more like the attached!! Also I think these are good musings on finding ways to stay positive uterusmonologues.com/2018/05/23/the-negatives-of-positive-thinking/

TedLife · 21/08/2018 10:23

Morning @Knitkitty! Love your affirmations for today, especially the "stop being afraid..." one - very apt!

Into my second week of the TWW now and trying to keep the positivity up! Reassuring myself with a saying my mum would always tell me when things are hard:
"What's for you, won't pass you".

How's everyone else's week going? It's nearly the bank holiday too - yay!

Original poster

KnitKitty · 21/08/2018 08:15

Good morning Sunshine Ladies!

Teehee! Eastend2015 I love that!

Hi sweetpea0318! Love your affirmations!

Spottyyellowdress really pleased he got the all clear. Sounds like you both could do with some relaxing and quality time without the context of TTC. Are you able to have a short break somewhere, or plan a few nice meals out together or something? Or even just do something you don't usually do... Have a picnic on the living room floor or go on a long walk, or go bowling... Find some fun you can both have together. xxx
My OH and me were a bit out of sync for a while and this weekend just gone was lovely; we did some shopping together, had a coffee and a chat and I went with him for his sight test and then to my sister's house for dinner. It wasn't an amazing day at Disney Land or anything, but it's just what we needed for us to feel closer again and to remember we have fun together.

Thanks ladies for your positive feedback. Obviously no one is positive all the time and I do struggle to stay upbeat sometimes, although I am an upbeat person generally. Whenever I've been struggling the most these last couple of months, you lot have been here reminding me to keep plodding along and not let the negative voices win; so thank you all. You're all amazing! xxx

OP posts:

zarala · 21/08/2018 08:13

@Eastend2015 haha love that ! I'll have to find her on insta

Eastend2015 · 21/08/2018 07:35

@sweetpea0318 good mantras there! I’m a fan of Veronica dearly on instagram- not exact affirmations but they make me giggle!

Eastend2015 · 21/08/2018 07:31

@knitkitty I second what @zarala said, you are a wonderfully positive lady.

@spottyyellowdress glad he got the all clear!

sweetpea0318 · 21/08/2018 07:30

Hello, Would it be ok to join you? I’m hopping over from the ttc after mc thread (thank you to @eastend for the heads up!) This is a lovely idea - positivity can go such a long way especially on the sometimes long and rocky ttc journey. I’m ttc #2 after an early mc over Easter. I’ve got a few positive mantras that I try to tell myself as often as I remember to:

‘We are all on our own journey and a new life will come into ours when it is meant to’

And for when the crazy starts to get to me:
‘My thoughts are peaceful and calm. My body is fertile and capable of carrying a baby to term’

Have a lovely day all xx

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