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Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

507 replies

KnitKitty · 13/06/2018 18:26

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

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VenusStarr · 20/06/2018 15:32

Can I join you guys? I'm having a really bad few days emotionally and feeling like I need to pause ttc as I feel so bad. Af arrived on Sunday and although I felt OK, I'm really not OK now. Struggling to think positive. Been trying since December, so in many ways not long but I'm heading towards 35 and I'm starting to feel really down, so need some positivity! I need some tips to start getting my head out of ttc and have already made a list to start on. I'm struggling to believe or hope...

Good luck @CritterTamer

@KnitKitty you're very positive, it helps to read your perspective so thank you

CritterTamer · 20/06/2018 15:09

Thanks both 😊 ET is all done and 2 lovely embies are on board. Now begins the dreaded TWW!

lolacola13 · 20/06/2018 13:34

Ahhh good luck @CritterTamer !!! Go home and lie up let dh wait ok u hand and foot . If ever u can rip the arse out of something it's now!

CritterTamer · 20/06/2018 09:57

@Knitkitty - embryo transfer is today! Very nervous and excited but feeling positive we have got this far 😊

KnitKitty · 20/06/2018 08:57

Every day/month is a new one, full of new opportunities and potentials. The past is the past. You don't have to stay stuck in a negative cycle. Find all the positives you can in your life and dare to hope and look forward to the future with a smile on your face.

I'm feeling good about work today because some big changes are happening and two people who have created a lot of misery are leaving next week. I think it should lighten the mood and I'm looking forward to a different atmosphere. :)

CritterTamer I hope you're still managing to be relaxed and positive! xxx

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CritterTamer · 18/06/2018 12:46

@Lolacola13 - yes I have the next few days off work until the ET. Had a nice morning in the gym and walking my dogs. Now it’s raining so going trelax and binge watch House of Cards 😊 So anxious to know how the embies are dong and fighting to stop myself calling the clinic to find out - trying to just relax and tell myself that they will call me if there are any problems!

@Knitkitty - hope you’re enjoying your day off too 😊

lolacola13 · 18/06/2018 12:03

@CritterTamer ah how exciting for u! Twins would be my dream . I always always wanted twins . Any amount of baby/ babies will do though eh! Make sure u take it easy . Have u for some time booked off work to lie up and relax ? Make sure I do some meditation too

KnitKitty · 18/06/2018 08:29

Anyone reading this who, like me, is getting over a MC and TTC again, if you head to the miscarriage boards and read a thread called "When will I be pregnant?" it may give you some hope. It's an old thread which has been updated by the OP and other ladies who have had successful pregnancies since their loss. I just found it really comforting to read and feel like my hope has been rekindled.

What nice things are you doing today?
It's my day off work so I plan on doing some exercise and some knitting or painting. :) Making something always makes me feel better.

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KnitKitty · 17/06/2018 22:50

I love that song! Definitely a feel-good one!

I just out-did myself cooking a roast dinner for my OH and my dad for fathers' day. Had a small glass of wine and some ice cream too as a treat. Feel like I could burst!

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CookieWaffle · 17/06/2018 20:57

So we had our trip out shopping today and now having a nice hot bath. Walked past a busker playing Happy by Pharell Williams and I desperately wanted to start singing!

KnitKitty · 17/06/2018 08:54

Really hope you get two good quality ones on Wednesday then CritterTamer!

lolacola3 I'm totally with you on trying to not make it the only thing I think about. I keep repeating to myself "it will happen when it happens." I've managed to stay surprisingly chilled out this month so far. I'm around ovulation time (I think) and haven't really DTD very much this month, but I'm just seeing this cycle as a breather. As DaisyMay said, even miracles take a little time.

CookieWaffle it is great this place exists and we can let out all the crazy TTC thoughts with others who understand when we can't discuss it with anyone IRL!

A shopping spree sounds like a good way to relax and take your mind off it. Retail therapy! Wink

So what are everyone's feel-good go-to songs?
I like blasting out some upbeat music and doing some crazy dancing in the living room to cheer myself up sometimes. Grin

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CookieWaffle · 17/06/2018 00:16

Hello, yes I definitely need some of this positivity stuff! I have to say how great it is that this place exists! For a subject that some of us don't discuss with friends and family and sometimes not much with partners! It's great that we can have a rant and a moan if we need to and ask advice. OH and I have had a rubbish weekend so we're going out shopping tomorrow! Going to treat ourselves a bit xx

CritterTamer · 16/06/2018 23:11

@Lolacola13 - that is such great advice - it’s just so much easier said than done! I definitely think there’s something to be said for relaxing and taking the stress out of ttc though.

As for embryo transfer, they want to do a 5 day transfer so I guess it depends how many make it to that point. I’m 40 so there are no guarantees. If we end up with 2 good quality embies on Wednesday i will deffo go for the two though - no DC yet and secretly love the idea of twins LOL.

lolacola13 · 16/06/2018 20:26

I made the decision today that I am going to and WILL relax about ttc . I will not be buying clear blue again . Just a few cheapie opks will do me to give me a vague idea and luckily I get cramps too around ov so I will go by that, I am going organize a girls night out and a night away for me and oh to relax . Want to start filling my life with fun stuff and I'm so lucky to have the two dc I have already many women would give anything for that. I just have become so aware of how much pressure I was putting on myself and dp . To the point where it caused an argument recently.where it Consumed my every thought. I am still ttc of course but anyone ever get the feeling they want to start " living" again?? Maybe if I forget it a little everything will fall
Into place ❤️

lolacola13 · 16/06/2018 20:22

@CritterTamer ur going to have to keep sooo busy lol get plenty of iron in u build a nice cosy nest for the transfer . Are they transferring one or two? Xoxoxox I have everything crossed for u

CritterTamer · 16/06/2018 19:29

Thank you all 😊 it’s going to be a long 4 days to transfer day. Think I’ll check out the headspace app to help relax and pass the time xxx

KnitKitty · 16/06/2018 19:06

CritterTamer That's absolutely amazing news! :D Yey!!

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TinyPaws · 16/06/2018 16:18

@lolacola13 10% happier is nice but like headspace you have to pay for most of the content. It does have a fair few free meditations though.

lolacola13 · 16/06/2018 14:08

Anyone any apps for destressing meditation etc like headspace I really love but I refuse to pay for the add ons

DaisyMay25 · 16/06/2018 12:10

@CritterTamer that's absolutely fantastic!! Please keep us updated on your exciting journey. Positive vibes your way Thanks

lolacola13 · 16/06/2018 11:17

@CritterTamer yay!!! Lovely bit of text to read. Fingers crossed for ur big journey etc xoxoxoxoxox

CritterTamer · 16/06/2018 10:34

Good morning - this is a great day. Had my first IVF cycle egg collection yesterday and retrieved 6 eggs. Just had a call from the clinic to say that all 6 have fertilised - totally unexpected!

KnitKitty · 16/06/2018 09:52

A few ladies on MN have recommended Headspeace which is an app/website to teach you meditation. I've just finished the 10 day free basics for beginners and have really found it helpful. Really worth taking a look if you feel you need a little more peace in your life.

I hope you have a lovely day today. Smile (even if it's through pain) and try and pick out all the good things from your day. :)

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Dassie81 · 15/06/2018 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn - wrong thread.

KnitKitty · 15/06/2018 09:24

Sometimes I get worried or anxious and then I remember another time I was worried or anxious and I needn't have been, because with hindsight everything was always going to work out just fine in its own time and way. I try to think of that when I need to; imagining my future self looking back at the thing I was worried about and thinking "if only I'd known!"

There's always someone out there wishing you well.

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