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Original poster

Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

507 replies

KnitKitty · 13/06/2018 18:26

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

OP posts:
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DaisyMay25 · 23/06/2018 04:01

@KnitKitty I've also been picturing myself with a bump, imagining if I'll be more of Khloe or Kim in maternity wear... I like to look at furniture too for a nursery, it doesn't make me sad anyway it gives me something to look forward to.

Right now I'm focusing on being positive so that when a baby comes along they're coming into a happy family.

Today's quote 'difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations'

Original poster
KnitKitty · 22/06/2018 21:59

Hi SoBoredOfWaiting, welcome! It's lovely to have fellow crafters on here. :) Do share pictures of projects if you've a mind. How do you use mala beads? Heard of them before but don't know anything about them.

It's so true ChaosMoon that we always have a choice, and I think a lot of the time people feel low or frustrated when they don't feel like they have control over a situation, but just remembering that we always have a choice is helpful.

I love that affirmation Angelmiracle. One of my TTC worries is that I'll miscarry again so I'm putting a lot of effort in to reassuring myself that I'll carry to term and have a rainbow baby at the moment.

I've started trying some visualisation, but it can be tricky.
At the moment I've been spending time visualising myself with a big baby bump.
I've also been visualising nice things happening to people I feel negatively towards at work to try to counteract the negativity, and it's funny, my dealings with those people have been a lot better since I started doing the visualisations.

Pets are amazing.
I've also had some cat cuddles this evening. :)

OP posts:
CritterTamer · 22/06/2018 21:46

Enjoying dog cuddles here 😊

DaisyMay25 · 22/06/2018 20:48

Currently enjoying some cat cuddles! Always brightens up my day!

Angelmiracle · 22/06/2018 18:10

"I declare that I will carry my pregnancy to term"

👋 hello to the new ladies!

I am having a relaxing sunny evening on holidays on my balcony with dh and ds napping 😊

ChaosMoon · 22/06/2018 17:43

I always have a choice.

I firmly believe that. Even if I don't know what it is yet, or if it's not the one I want. Even if it's only to choose the way I look at a situation. And that means I always have more control than I think, even if I choose to do nothing.

I can choose love.
I can choose happiness.
I can choose to see the best in life.

(I can choose to unpick my knitting again...)

SoBoredOfWaiting · 22/06/2018 17:24

Can I join @KnitKitty ? This looks such a lovely thread I can't resist!

I do anything crafty to relax! Whether it is making gemstone jewellery, knitting, crocheting, sewing- my recent project were some plain black sliders I got bored with so added white lace to!

I can also highly recommend yoga and meditation. My next to-do is affirmations with my new mala beads (treated myself). Anyone got some short and sweet affirmations they would be happy to share?

Original poster
KnitKitty · 22/06/2018 10:34

VenusStar I'm glad you're feeling more positive about your situation and I think a break from TTC sounds like a good idea for you both so you can get life back on track for a while.
It WILL happen, it's just not been the right time yet.
You could always start training for a 10K and if a local one is advertised join up if you feel ready for it. :)

OP posts:
VenusStarr · 22/06/2018 10:26

I've decided to talk to my dh tonight about stopping ttc for a while, which feels positive for me. I've been so anxious this week and emotional. I basically tried to pick a fight last night which he didn't rise to, but he did say that he's feeling a bit stressed by it all too. So it feels like a positive step to relieve some pressure.

@KnitKitty my lost is about healthy eating and exercise. I would like to take up yoga again as it's definitely helped before. I'm umming and ahhing about doing a 10k run.

I did have a thought pop into my head that it will happen which was a surprise.

Hope everyone is OK :)

Original poster
KnitKitty · 22/06/2018 10:00

CritterTamer I like gardening too, it's good exercise as well. I currently live in a rented house though, so can't really do much in the one we've got, but just sitting outside and hearing the birds and feeling the grass under your feet can be so nice and relaxing! I have three orchids in the house which are sort of my babies too. One of them I've had for nearly 4 years now! Plants are great and it is so satisfying to see them thrive and grow.

Angelmiracle how lovely about the blue knit hat that you got!
Music can be a great therapy and good for relaxation. I've never played piano myself but my mum and sister both do. I love listening to piano music.

Hi ChaosMoon, welcome to our little positivity circle! Glad you found us. Wow a cardigan as a first knitting project is pretty ambitious! Well done! You'll have to post pictures of it when you get it finished, I'd love to see your handiwork!

Yesterday's bit of good news for me was I found out I'm getting a small pay-rise at work next month. :)

My affirmation for today is:
I accept lovely things and experiences in my life.

OP posts:
ChaosMoon · 22/06/2018 08:33

I found this thread at just the right time. Thank you for your wonderful positivity ladies.
I do yoga everyday. I tried the yoga yin @CritterTamer suggested this morning. It was so nice to feel like it could also be helping ttc.
I've always loved to cook but a couple of months ago I started my first ever knitting project. It's been unlocked a couple of times but I'm very excited that I nearly have a cardigan. Hopefully that'll distract me from the 2ww!

Angelmiracle · 21/06/2018 19:21

@Knitkitty I played piano until I was 16 I would love to take refresher lessons it's a nice release from things and makes you feel positive. DS first hat was a blue knit hat given in delivery suite the midwives said a lady knits them and regularly leaves them into neonatal and delivery suite lovely idea! I treasure that wee hat 😊

Today's daily affirmation - "Welcome to the world my beautiful babies"

Only on CD5 here dtd last night coz we wanted to not because we had to it was nice 😂

CritterTamer · 21/06/2018 14:57

@Knitkitty - yes, gardening 😊 I never had the remotest interest in gardening until we moved house last year and had a proper garden put in. Now I’m obsessed with watching it grow - I’m sure the plants are my surrogate babies whilst TTC.... (sad and pathetic I know!)

Original poster
KnitKitty · 21/06/2018 08:15

Anon7501 Yes, that's great news that you got pregnant even though you have PCOS. And if it happened once it can happen again. They say you are more fertile after MC for about 6 months to a year, so fingers crossed for you. :)

What hobbies keeps everyone else busy?
I love knitting and crochet, and I've been teaching myself loom knitting this week. Never done it before and it's so easy and fun! I've made 3 baby hats so far this week and am working on a small child's one now. I'm thinking of maybe getting some good quality 100% cotton yarn and trying to make some preemie baby hats to give to charity. Not sure if there's a place to collect them though so will look into it. Might try to make some booties and scratch mitts too.
Anyone else teaching themselves a new skill recently?

OP posts:
Anon7501 · 20/06/2018 22:30

Thank you for you reply, i am going to hold of until friday and test again with a clear blue (maybe more accurate) .. i dont take periods, never have so i would be more suprised if i got one lol!! Feel ok now, just happy i am actually able to get pregnant with pcos! So staying positive that it will happen again. Hopefully sooner rather than later :) xxx

Original poster
KnitKitty · 20/06/2018 22:11

CritterTamer how exciting!!! I hope the TTW goes quickly for you. Relax as much as you can, give yourself some treats and do some meditation and affirmations. Best of luck to you!!!

VenusStarr it's great that you've already started your list. You're not old enough for age to be a big factor in problems TTC, so don't panic because of that!!! Maybe a month or two away from TTC will allow you to find more balance in your life again and focus on other things. It's so easy to let it become your one main focus, which is partly why I started this thread. I don't think the stress of it helps your chances either so you can easily get into a vicious cycle. What are you planning to do to take your mind off it and on to other things?
As CookieWaffle suggested, a good cry can be very healing, but try not to wallow too long as then you'll get in a negative cycle.

Anon7501 my cycle was a lot longer after my ERPC (38 days long). Everyone is different, some women do get pregnant straight away, but don't worry if you don't. Symptoms can be caused by progesterone if you're gearing up for your AF or around ovulation. I'd give it a few more days and then test again if no AF shows up. And keep up the OPKs, you might get a positive for ovulation. Fingers crossed for you. Hope you're feeling ok after your MC. If you do get AF, I hope it's ok. I found mine was helpful closure, as much as I didn't want it to arrive. xxx

Angelmiracle thanks for sharing your affirmation, it's a lovely one. :)

OP posts:
VenusStarr · 20/06/2018 22:04

Thank you @CookieWaffle, feeling more positive after an evening with my sister, with some belly laughs :) like the other suggestions too, a different focus will help I think xx

Anon7501 · 20/06/2018 17:45

Thank you xxx

Anon7501 · 20/06/2018 17:45

@cookiewaffle thank you xxx

CookieWaffle · 20/06/2018 17:39

@Anon7501 all I can say is try another test in a few days. But as this is a positivity thread, will be hoping for the best for you xx

CookieWaffle · 20/06/2018 17:34

@VenusStarr I definitely recommend letting yourself have a good cry, but as this is a positivity thread, definitely follow it up with something nice! Weather's getting better so have a nice trip out somewhere, get the bikes out, go shopping, find yourself a hobby, do that thing you've been meaning to do for ages, teach yourself something, learn to draw or to crochet, find an online course or a YouTube video, get yourself Netflix, get the girls out for a night out (or a night in), all of the above! xx

Angelmiracle · 20/06/2018 17:23

My DH/DP and I will rejoice at the news of my pregnancy- a daily affirmation!

Loving this page @knitkitty I'm not great at positivity so will follow this thread to help!!

@CritterTamer wow that sounds amazing and scary for you!! Best wishes and good luck there will be 2 cosy babas in there. Feet up and do not lift so much as a kettle!!😊

Anon7501 · 20/06/2018 16:50

Hi looking for some advice.
I had a mc and a week later a d&c in may.. 2 weeks after the d&c i noticed cm and assumed i was ovulating and dtd and have done every day or 2 days since! It has been 2 weeks since then.
As i have pcos i bought some cheap ovulation sticks online and have been using them for one week.. every day there is 2 lines but none as dark as the control line.
The past few days iv have began feeling sick and dizzy, sort of how i knew i was preg last time minus the sore boobs! Also alot of twinges in my tummy, some strong smells and last week i pee’d a serious amount of times within one hour! I have used 2 cheap preg tests from online and both show up negative. I know the furthest on i could be is 2 weeks so its still very early. I just dont know if i am imagining the pregnancy symptoms or has anyone ever had anything similar? So confused on what to do!!!

CritterTamer · 20/06/2018 16:40

@DaisyMay25 - official test date is July 3rd. Of course if it hasn’t worked I may know sooner than that if AF arrives.

DaisyMay25 · 20/06/2018 16:38

@CritterTamer how very exciting! When will you find out if it's worked? I hope all goes amazingly and it's twins 😍