Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

Hi PurpleFlower1983 that's amazing that you've fallen pregnant naturally after all that time trying! Congratulations! I bet it doesn't feel real yet! Best of luck for a healthy and happy pregnancy.

I have a pretty healthy lifestyle already, I walk to and from work and eat well, but my biggest bad habit is having a cup of sugary tea in the mornings at breakfast. This past week I've switched from decaf black tea to decaf green tea as I don't have sugar with green tea so I'm feeling happy that I've started a healthier habit now. :) All that sugar can't have been good.

Hi Crossfitgirl. Good luck with TTC. How long have you been trying so far? It's an exciting time. :)
Sounds like your friend had a good attitude and I'm pleased everything worked out well for her.
I think it's important to have friends who are open about their not-so-smooth journeys to having kids because sometimes when starting out TTC we get this mad impatience and are overly optimistic that everything is going to work out quickly and perfectly. It's good to be optimistic, but it's also good to feel prepared for in case things don't go quite to plan. I think a more peaceful acceptance that it will happen when the time is right is helpful because it doesn't set you up for disappointments each month.

SoBoredOfWaiting Congratulations! That's wonderful news. I'm so pleased feeling more peaceful has seemed to do the trick for you!

I'm reading a book called Practical Mindfulness at the moment. It's got some good ideas in it.

Other book recommendations:
You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay for anyone struggling to stay positive, especially (but not only) if you have health issues (mental or physical).
Beat Depression and Reclaim Your Life by Alexandra Massey for anyone feeling they might or are depressed.
Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers for anyone feeling a bit mentally stuck or bored with life or like nothing's going your way.

Good novels to get you thinking:
Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
Out on a Limb by Shirley Maclaine
The Travelling Cat Chronicles by Hiro Arikawa

Anyone else got book recommendations? I love reading and it's especially satisfying if you feel you're learning something at the same time.

Frazzlerock I hope AF arrives soon then and is kind to you this month.

Thanks, yes, it's easy to spiral when negative thoughts seem to be taking over. I suffered from depression between the age of 14 to 20 and it taught me a lot, but I'm only now discovering a different approach to "battling" negativity.

I felt like I clawed my way out of depression by fighting tooth and nail with myself all those years ago. I had sunk so low that no positive could penetrate through and it was the hardest thing I've ever done to replace those dark thoughts with lighter ones. (And the most terrifying epiphany I had was realising that I was the only person who could stop me being depressed, I just wanted someone to come along and wave a magic wand. I was so lethargic and bogged down it was hard to get out of bed sometimes so the thought of no one being able to help me was very scary indeed).
The way I got over depression back then was to notice when I was thinking something negative and consciously tell myself the opposite or something positive to replace that thought with. I did a lot of affirmations too, and had post-its all over my bedroom so I was literally surrounded by happier thoughts. I wrote down how I wanted my life to look using the present tense and read that every day. Eventually I started to believe the nicer thoughts and after a long time they became my normal thoughts rather than the negative ones, but goodness was it hard!!! I found the piece I'd written about how I wanted my life to be a few years later, and miraculously I wasn't far off the mark and it just showed me that visualising a goal and aiming for it can really help and dreams do come true!

Now, mindfulness and meditation have taught me (like you said) to just notice negativity when it arises and not judge myself for it, but just notice when it's there. I think it's a gentler approach because I don't feel I'm judging myself for thinking negative things, but I sometimes still panic that if those negative thoughts start to accumulate I might get depressed again, so I'm still learning to be gentler with myself. I think I'm slowly finding a balance.

Today I'm concentrating on being more peaceful with work. There have been a lot of changes going on in my workplace and a huge change of staffing is currently going on. I've realised this morning that part of my discontent at work is arising from feeling too eager to be noticed (possibly for a promotion), and it's making me feel a bit frazzled and impatient when I'm there. Others seem to all be jostling around to try and make waves and it's just not like me to do that too. So my new challenge is just to be who I am, get on with what I'm doing and let others around me do what they're doing and just let things be. I believe that things work out how they're meant to, so if I'm supposed to be noticed for promotion I will be.

So my quote for the day is:
"Be yourself; everyone else is taken." Oscar Wilde.

Hi again Frazzelrock! You did warn us that you might not post for a while sometimes, so don't apologise, we were warned!

Well, I suggested in my last post testing on CD40, so I'm sticking to my guns. As you said, testing seems to bring on AF anyway, so maybe it will encourage her to show her face if she's lurking, and it would be good for you to know in advance if you have plans to do heavy lifting.
Since you're irregular, assuming you're not pregnant is the safest option, but since CD40 is a sensible day to test, test anyway. I've had AF visiting this week and have so delightfully insistent spots too. Never really got spots before pregnancy. What joy!!

They say that you can continue with your normal exercise so long it's not too strenuous, and there is a lot of evidence to show that you have an easier pregnancy and birth if you exercise regularly from the beginning, so certainly don't feel you have to give it up. Maybe just modify what you do (use the lightest weights possible and research which are the safest types of weight exercises to do in pregnancy; and maybe don't run as far, or walk for half of your jog instead and take a couple of breaks?)

The problem when you've had a MC (or more than one), you start second guessing EVERYTHING you do or think or eat or say and get superstitious about things or nervous that you're not doing this or that right. The fact is, so long as you're looking after your body well there isn't much you can do to stop these things happening. Nature just runs its course for good or bad.
Get advice from a GP though if you need reassurance from a professional about what to do or not do when TTC or in early pregnancy.
I know how you feel, I had a MMC and SMM too and I'm already overthinking my next pregnancy.

ChaosMoon drag cabaret sounds like a fun distraction!

I'm quite amused at myself at the moment.
There seems to be a battle going on in my head/body between anxious and impatient me and zen and roll-with-it me. I keep having moments of feeling fed up or flashes of frustration about not being pregnant and wishing the time away because TTC just seems to be one long slow process, and then a calm me is just watching myself and shaking its head and tutting, thinking "just relax, listen to the birds, look at that beautiful flower". Most days the zen me is winning, but every day is a new fight for supremacy, and today work has left me feeling a bit frazzled so I'm just preparing for an evening of knitting now to unwind.

My positive thoughts/affirmations for the day:
I choose to learn from the bad things that have happened to me in the past and use them to create a more positive future.
I choose to focus on the best possible outcome.
I am protected, I am powerful, I am successful. I am at peace.

PurpleFushia try to see it as extra time to heal and prepare mentally. The exciting news is your next cycle is on the way and that' s a brand new fresh start. Feel the sadness and have a disappointment cry if you need to, but then start your plans for the next cycle.

Today I'm off to have a picnic with my sister who got engaged last week. :)

Quotes for today for anyone who needs them:

"Life isn't about falling, it's about getting back up every time you fall."

"H.O.P.E. Hold On. Pain Ends."

"Look for the positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a bit harder."

Yes ChaosMoon it's wonderful news. I hope the rest of the rescue goes well.

Congratulations on your BFP lolacola13! That's amazingly good news!!! I hope it's a sticky one and you have a happy and healthy pregnancy. xxx Ohhh, a donut adventure sounds fun! What flavours did you both get?

I had a good day at work today. :)

VenusStarr I'm so glad that you're feeling good and have had a lovely few days relaxing with DH. :)
I've thought that too, it's been prime vitamin D weather recently!!! What a blessing.

Quote for the day:
An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it's going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming. (Unknown)

I had a lovely day yesterday. A nice walk in the sun before work and picked up a new android phone I've treated myself to!!! (This is a rare occurrence as I'm a bit of a technophobe and haven't had one before, so I'm challenging myself to learn something new, as daft as it sounds! )