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Original poster

Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

507 replies

KnitKitty · 13/06/2018 18:26

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

OP posts:
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39
CritterTamer · 22/10/2018 22:30

@TinyPaws - I wish you all the very best for your upcoming IVF cycle - it’s a tough journey. Good luck!

TinyPaws · 22/10/2018 21:17

@CritterTamer It's heartening to hear your story! Fingers crossed for a happy healthy pregnancy for you.

@sweetpea0318 Glad you're feeling a bit better, hope you have a lovely retreat!

@KnitKitty Good to hear from you, glad you're hanging in there and I hope you get some answers.

I'm due to start down regulation for a long protocol IVF cycle in 2 days. It's been a long time coming, I can't believe it's so close now!

CritterTamer · 22/10/2018 13:25

@Kintkitty thank you so much and I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. You are an incredibly strong person to be keeping so positive throughout this. I really hope you get some help and answers at the recurrent miscarriage clinic.

@Sweetpea0318 here’s a list of the biggest changes I made between June and October which I’m certain contributed to a far more successful IVF cycle (more eggs collected, much better quality and a far better lining):

Acupuncture every other week (more running up to cycle)
Daily fertility yoga
5g maca powder daily
5 - 10g spirulina powder daily
Vitamin D spray
Added Antioxidant supplement as well as multi vitamins
Raspberry leaf tea
Lost 3 stone since April
Regular vigorous exercise, but not over exercising
I month of testosterone gel prior to starting cycle
Small change to meds used in stimulation phase

Original poster
KnitKitty · 22/10/2018 10:34

@CritterTamer I'm so glad to have news from you. I realised the IVF must not have worked when you stopped posting so I've been thinking of you regularly since then hoping things were getting better for you. AMAZING news, I'm so happy for you!
And your words have come at a very timely moment for me. I'm feeling a bit like giving up after my 4th pregnancy loss this year. Thank you for sharing your message of hope.

@TinyPaws You have had quite a year. I had't realised you'd also broken your foot! You're a trooper, well done for getting your fitness back. I feel like I should be doing the same. I'm feeling so unmotivated at the moment though. I'll take you as inspiration to get moving again I think. I think counselling is a good idea. Flashbacks aren't fun to live with. I'm glad things are looking more positive for you in general though. Am I right in thinking you're doing IVF again this month? Best of luck to you!

@sweetpea0318 I'm a December birthday too. Smile A yoga retreat sounds wonderful! I'm glad you and your DH are both on the same page and getting some help soon. It's so much easier when you work as a team. I'm glad you're feeling more positive too.

I've had a very early miscarriage at 4 weeks 4 days the week before last, following my MMC in March and two CPs in between so I've not been feeling my best and have taken some time off work which has also been a source of an incredible amount of stress. Been waiting since August to be given the go ahead from my new job to hand my notice in and the waiting is driving me nuts. I just want to be out of there!
My positives:
I think the bleeding from miscarriage might finally be stopping after 12 days (and I'd been spotting for about 6 days before that too so it feels like I've had the worlds longest period).
I've signed up to have acupuncture treatment which starts on Friday and I'm feeling really good about that and have a lot of faith in the practitioner I've chosen.
Tomorrow I'm seeing my GP about getting referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic. This might be a step in the right direction to finding some answers and hopefully moving towards parenthood.

I hope everyone has a lovely sun-filled day. xx

OP posts:
sweetpea0318 · 22/10/2018 09:01

@crittertamer congratulations! That's fantastic news and twins too?! Amazing! It also gives me hope as I've been worrying about the age factor a lot recently (I turn 39 in December). What did you do in the 3 months to help improve your chances?

@tinypaws great news that you're physically thriving! This lovely weather is perfect for a bit of outdoor exercise - I'm trying to make the most of it too! I'm going to give meditation another try - I did have a go with it a few months back (using different guided meditations I found on youtube) but I didn't really find one that chimed with me. I've been thinking about it quite a bit recently though so I'm going to have another look for one. Remind me, are you doing IVF at the moment?

@knitkitty how are you doing lovely? Been thinking about you - hope you're okay.

I've been feeling a bit more positive recently after quite a while of feeling pretty damn miserable. Dh and I are in a good place and on the same page for pushing forward with a private consultation next month to see what is going on so I think that is contributing to a slightly more hopeful attitude for me. I'm also going on a yoga retreat this weekend which I can't wait for - will definitely be a bit of tonic for my soul!!

CritterTamer · 21/10/2018 20:43

Hi ladies

Hope you don’t mind me jumping on but I was on this thread right back in June when @Knitkitty started it, going through my first round of IVF. When that round failed i had to step away from MN for a while for the sake of my own mental health, had a really crappy follow up with the consultant full of doom and gloom about my egg quality, etc. Anyway I picked myself up and spent the next 3 months doing absolutely everything i could to improve my chances for another round, and on Friday I just had my first EVER BFP! Not only was it a strong BFP, but beta HCG level looks like it might be twins so we are over the moon 😁

I’ve been i such a dark place for so long with my fertility and I genuinely had started to believe it would never happen for me (I’m now 40) so if anyon3 else is feeling that way I hope this post can bring a bit of positivity to you xxx

TinyPaws · 21/10/2018 20:24

Hello, how is everyone doing? I've been wondering how you lovely ladies are all getting on.

My positive news is despite a hell of a year my physical fitness is nearly back to where it was when I started. (After 3 cycles medicated iui, a pregnancy, a miscarriage and to top it all off a broken foot). I've been out jogging both days this weekend and the weather was perfect for it.

I've been meditating using an app called mindful IVF which I'm finding really helpful. I found the narrator guy a little annoying at the beginning of some of the tracks but after a few minutes I find it so soothing! Some of the content is paid but there's quite a lot of free content too.

I've recently had another batch of flashbacks relating to my miscarriage. These have reduced in both frequency and intensity with time but I'm not happy I'm still getting them nearly 6 months on so I'm going to try and access some counseling.

Original poster
KnitKitty · 01/10/2018 07:51

Excellent news! I'm so pleased. If it's just a "matter of time" thing it can be frustrating, but patience will pay off. This is just one big waiting game isn't it?

Happy Monday everyone.

I hope you all have a nice week ahead planned.

OP posts:
Boboelephant · 01/10/2018 06:24

@TedLife I hope you are feeling slightly less anxious and at least a little more positive. Hoes meditation going?
@KnitKitty xray went well actually. All very odd being naked with people hovering about but you lose some of your dignity on this journey for answers! 😂 My uterus and tube look 'lovely' and no scar tissue or adhesions. I was initially a bit frustrated as I was hoping for a clear answer but it is a good thing and it's good to know that it's
all ready for a baby down there! So fx the dye gave the area a nice flush out and it's go time! 😁

TedLife · 27/09/2018 11:16

@Knitkitty thank you so much, that info was just what I needed. You are always so positive and wonderful to everyone, thank you x
I am trying so hard to stay positive, and remember this is a different pregnancy and doesn't have to have the same outcome but I think hormones are also taking over a bit and making me believe good things won't happen. I just need to recognise and identify these feelings as much as I can and consciously turn them around.

For anyone else who needs a bit of positivity, here's my affirmation for today. Sending love and good wishes to everyone today.

Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey
Original poster
KnitKitty · 26/09/2018 18:37

Aww @TedLife I'm so sorry you're not managing to enjoy this, but I totally, totally get it.

I'm sure you've already googled stuff, but here's what it says on Tommy's:

"Many women struggle with anxiety in the next pregnancy. This is a completely natural reaction to what has happened. Your GP may be able to refer you for counselling or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) in pregnancy, which can help you manage this anxiety or mild depressions. Don’t delay seeing your GP as there may be a waiting list.

Alternatively, you can find a private therapist near you here.

You might want to request an early scan to see how your pregnancy is progressing. Although this doesn’t guarantee anything, it can make the first trimester more manageable.

Try to break down the first trimester into days – or, even sections – so instead of thinking, ‘How am I going to get through the next 8 weeks?’ concentrate on just getting through that morning. Take one day at a time.

Be kind to yourself. It’s totally understandable if you’re not enjoying trying again, or if you are overwhelmed with sadness, anxiety or denial during your next pregnancy. Talk to your GP or midwife, if you feel you need some help managing these feelings.

Don’t feel that you have to keep your next pregnancy secret, talking to your friends or family, might really help. You can also join BabyCentre's supportive pregnancy after miscarriage group to chat to other women in the same situation."

"You can talk to a Tommy’s midwife free of charge from 9-5 Monday to Friday on: 0800 0147 800 or email [email protected]. Our midwives are also trained in bereavement support."

And this is info from The Miscarriage Association.
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Pregnancy-After-Loss-2018.pdf

Huge hugs. Stay strong Sunshine Lady xxx

OP posts:
TedLife · 26/09/2018 17:45

@KnitKitty it's anything but casual! I'm very anxious and Im feeling really low, can't help feeling this one will go wrong too. I didn't want to bring down the thread (looks like
I did anyway!). Signing up for Headspace tomorrow though and turning this around. I was anxious last time and the worst happened anyway.
Thanks for your good wishes though, they're really appreciated as always x

Original poster
KnitKitty · 26/09/2018 11:08

@Boboelephant how'd the xray go?

@Tedlife You slipped this news in so casually I almost missed it! Tentative congratulations! I know that BFPs after loss aren't the same, so hoping you manage to stay serene and stay hopeful and positive. Keep us updated on your progress!

@Frazzlerock Sorry you're struggling hun. Deleting FB is a good way to stay sane if it's bothering you. Have you tried anything like acupuncture to try and regulate your cycles a bit? I've heard it works for some women.

@crys2 Hi! Welcome. I felt like I'd lost myself after MC too but found my way back. Feeling heaps better these days and this thread was one of the things that helped me find myself again. I found not focusing on TTC for a while helped me, but I'm back at it properly now.

I'm having a good week. OH's parents are here and it's nice to see them and have some time off work.
I used OPKs for the first time this month and got a positive on Monday. We DTD on Sunday so I'm feeling quite hopeful. Smile

OP posts:
crys2 · 25/09/2018 15:21

I just joined here and love this thread!! I’ve been on this journey for a long time and just now coming back from a hiatus, loss and depression. I felt I had lost myself somewhere. But I have renewed energy and I am hopeful for a bfp. Regardless of the outcome I have so much that is positive in my life that I am grateful for it all.

My quote: the best times for new beginnings is now.

Also think I will try fertility yoga too .. great tip!

Frazzlerock · 25/09/2018 09:43

Hi all,

I'm just poking my head in to say hi. I've not forgotten any of you. I'm just struggling quite a lot so can't really offer much positivity. I'm having a lot of trouble with other people pregnancies and just feeling really quite shit.

I ordered an Ovusense and it finally arrived on Saturday. I tried it Saturday night, then my period showed up on Sunday. only 25 day cycle when it has been 40-50 days since we started TTC in June. According to my TTC apps, we had sex at exactly the right time and still nothing.
I'm tired and hugely frustrated that it's not happened yet. I had convinced myself that I'd be pregnant by xmas but I can't even see it happening before next xmas now.

Plus I passed three 'baby on board' badges in a row on my way to work this morning, pre-coffee which just made me want to scream at the top of my lungs.

Sorry, ranting when I was only popping my head in.

I should probably stay away from MN. I've taken myself off FB (or BabyBook as I have started calling it)

TedLife · 24/09/2018 20:23

Argh so sorry! My phone slipped and it posted!

I've had a positive test, two actually so it's still sinking in. Trying to stay quietly hopeful that this one will be different. Still very early days anyway.

Good work on the opks @KnitKitty, really hope you find them helpful.

TedLife · 24/09/2018 20:19

@KnitKitty sorry for silence, I've been keeping to myself a little but this thread has really helped me so I feel I can't just disappear. I'm

TinyPaws · 22/09/2018 13:51

They've not given me anything as my TSH is currently 1.8, which is fine, however I have very high anti-thyroid antibody levels and had symptoms of hypothyroidism prior to my miscarriage.

I've started taking a selenium supplement as I've read this can help with autoimmune thyroid issues and am also trying to improve my vitamin D levels, which are on the low side.

As both pregnancy and the drugs used in IVF/stimulated IUI are both known to affect thyroid function the clinic have agreed to monitor my TSH levels during my next cycle of treatment so quick action can be taken if they go out of range.

Boboelephant · 22/09/2018 12:54

@TinyPaws have they given you anything to sort out your thyroid issue?

Boboelephant · 22/09/2018 12:31

Thanks @KnitKitty and @TinyPaws. Its slightly frustrating as she diagnosed it from my NHS blood tests from 6 months ago which the previous gynaecologist said the results were fine. She took another blood test yesterday to see if its gotten worse which i shoild find out today but did say that for fertility you want your levels at 2.5 and mine in March were 4.18! So I'm relieved that something is being done now to help. And yes, I read alot that it can cause problems with fertility and even contribute to MC so definitely want to get it sorted. Also will be great to not feel as totally exhausted as I have the last few months!
@KnitKitty I'm getting the xray done on Monday! 😀 it was lucky as it can only be done between cycle day 7 and 10 and Monday is day 10 so worked out well.

TinyPaws · 22/09/2018 11:51

That's great news @Boboelephant. I also have a thyroid issue that would not have been picked up had I not decided to have some blood tests done privately. Thyroid problems can have a massive effect on fertility so I feel really positive that this might make a difference for you!

Original poster
KnitKitty · 22/09/2018 09:26

That's incredibly positive news @Boboelephant.

Having a diagnosis so often brings mixed feelings. It's obviously not wonderful that you have under-active thyroid, however it's really, really good news that they've diagnosed it and you can move forward with some treatment. Great that they're checking your womb and tube as well. I'm really pleased for you! I feel really positive about this too. When will you have the tube and womb checked? Hope it's not a long wait.

OP posts:
Boboelephant · 22/09/2018 07:34

Hi ladies! I haven't been on for awhile bit was so nice reading all your updates.
Love a bit of woo myself! @TinyPaws I just downloaded that app so thanks! @KnitKitty those readings are amazing! I don't know anything about runes either goes off to research runes but anything that helps keep us calm!
I went and saw a private gynaecologist/fertility specialist yesterday and she was amazing. Has diagnosed underactive thyroid and put me on levithyroxine and am booked in for a hsg on Monday to check my remaining tube and womb for scar tissue. So I feel really encouraged that something has been found and I feel like we're finally looking for solutions rather than being dismissed. Long may the positivity continue!

Original poster
KnitKitty · 21/09/2018 08:41

@TedLife are you still in the TWW? How's it going?

@sweetpea0318 I find pregnancy announcements really hard too. Hugs! Sounds like you've got some really positive stuff going on to feel like you have more control. Hope the temping helps.

Thanks @Eastend2015 and @TinyPaws, I mainly do it when I'm feeling frazzled or like my mood is spiralling and it tends to help me feel more positive again. I use oracle cards too. As I said, I'm not a great believer in it, but anything that can help you feel more positive again is a plus in my book.

I just used an OPK for the first time this morning. Managed to use it correctly so feeling pleased with myself. It's just for practice this month as OH's parents arrive in 3 days over my fertile period, but hopefully I'll be able to see if it works for me and I can use them for real next month. Smile

OP posts:
TinyPaws · 20/09/2018 20:31

@knitkitty Not too "woo", I'm all for anything that can help us feel calmer and more centred in this crazy time!

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