Over 40 ttc - summer baby dust for me!

No worries @shinyblackdog I'm definitely seeing it as a positive! I almost defied all odds and I can do it again!

@Cleozeta it was more like spotting but quite mucusy and like the beginning of af.. but not noticed any more.. slight pink cm.. not noticed it before and don't think I am oving.. tough really if I am as hubs is in Blighty and I'm not till thurs.. but have swimmers in the tubes.. I have no other peri symptoms.. as sore boobs and mood swings have been part of the af rollercoaster for years so not sure I could tell the diff

@CookieWaffle i am so sorry things did not progress as hoped. I know from experience it is such a horrible feeling. A 'Chemical pregnancy' is so cruel but do not lose hope. The worst thing that anybody could say to me was 'at least you know you can get pregnant'. My rational brain agrees but my irrational brain wants to scream it is no consolation for the loss.

I tested this afternoon after staring at the box for an hour knowing it was way too early to tell and my dates were way out anyway. No surprises it was a bfn. My body strangely still feels pregnant though. I have lost 2 pregnancies back to back so i know what pregnant feels like but now I'm in a panic that I only know what an unsuccessful pregnancy feels like and I don't know what is normal! DH's birthday on Thursday so shall test again and pray for a little miracle. Being a woman is so damn difficult!

Drat, so sorry I didn't update you Cookie, totally meant to but can't hold more than one thing in my head at a time at the moment. So sorry your little bean didn't take this time, but now you know it can be done - onwards and upwards.

Chat - oh no, that sounds rubbish! Was it just spotting or a period like bleed? I get mid cycle spotting sometimes, was told it was perimenopause related, or hormone imbalance. I also spotted right up until ovulation the cycle after my mmc, but that was straight through, not really stop start. How odd. Can't be another af surely? Any signs of impending ov?

Critter, that sounds interesting, I'll take a look. I daren't test to find out what my fsh is now, but I can't imgine its magically gone down to normal levels sadly. Will do all approaches to get it down!

Hmmm - Ubiquinol and pre conceptions shouldn't mess up your cycles. I wouldn't have thought epo would either? It's for improving ewcm. Anything else you take will depend on your particular requirements / issues.

Oh Chat bless you, you had some bad luck there! I get spotting sometimes between cycles but have not experienced that at that time before. I did get a bit with ovulation this month which properly made me freak out but didn't last and all seemed ok after!

Ubiquinol is CoQ10 - in a better format - you don’t need both. I think EPO is helpful for specific problems but isn’t good for everybody and can cause problems - I’m sure someone else who knows more about it will answer soon!

What vits should I be taking to improve my chances. I'm just taking the conception vits

Should I also take evening primrose, ubiqnol and coq10

Anything else?

Don't want to mess up cycles though as they only just back on track after a couple of dodgy months!

Hi all, if anyone is interested I just came across a YogaYin video which is specifically for dealing with perimenopause - lowering FSH and shortening lengthened cycles. It’s named ‘ovulation’ so isn’t immediately obvious what it is so try searching for that if you want to try it 😊

Just dipping in as away with eldest child, Paris for a few days... am flipping knackered already but 9 days into new cycle and just had a bleed... great away and in a white dress ( thank god no leakage ) but trying to now track down some towels.. however am just stressing about why a bleed???? Could it be left over from af.... don't think I'm ov ing just yet... not dtd for a few days... in panic mode !!!
Sending lots of positive hugs to all who are feeling a bit down and fed up with this all x

Mimosa that's great that things are happening! Terrible timing, bit at least you are out of limbo. Shame he didn't leave you a 'sample' in the freezer
Super long cycle though as it'll be about 64 or so days by the time af comes. That's goid news its not a proper anovulatory one with a breakthrough bleed. Bet you are so relieved for that limbo to be over? Have you done any opk's?

Cookie glad you are feeling more positive. The cramps may be cp related and should hopefully ease off soon. Good idea to see a gp though just to be sure.

Lets - it's a mystery! Sometimes our bodies do weird things. I get something different every month which keeps me on my toes! Fingers crossed for a normal cycle (even with a happy ending - you never know!) Next time.

Critter - please don't stress about what nobhead said. So maby people have been successful in your situation, he's just negative and insensative and shouldn't be in that job! Try to feel that positivity and hope again - it is there.

As for me, got my surprise peak yesterday and a super strong opk with a temp dip in the morning, suggesting I ov'd yesterday, but today temp still super low! Nearly as low as yesterday. Weird. As I said before, body always does something weird to keep me guessing. I don't think I've ever had a normal straightforward cycle!! I guess that would be boring haha

Yes! I'm definitely feeling more positive about next month. I wondered if anyone else has had this though, I've still got cramps and backache and I'm worried this is not normal after this long. Never have much trouble with period pains usually. Tried to get in to see GP this morning but with their stupid new system it's a lot of waiting on the phone and struggling to get appointments.

@littlemimosa ...oh no flippen sods law .. frustrating as hell!

@cookie -- onto month 4 and positive vibes being sent for a good month!

I discussed with DH before he went to bed that we need to kind DTD every second or third day from now until the end of this cycle .. tiring yes but i'm going to have to up my game one last cycle (whilst researching IVF) to make sure I gave the natural conception one final last wholehearted push!

Well I guess you can add a CP for me now and onto month 4!

Thanks Let’s. No not been to the doctors on this one. But.....

I’m sorry to come on and harp on about myself but this is what I call Sod’s law: after I posted earlier I went to the loo, wiped and guess what ewcm. Great I thought. Really chuffed things suddenly waking up but DH WENT AWAY WITH WORK today!!!!!! Aaaah. Is the universe sending me a message?!

@cleozeta I have no idea what happened, I don't technically know what an anovulatory cycle is and keep meaning to make an appt at the GP's to ask what it could've been but in all honesty I sometimes wonder what the point would be, I normally (if I ever go) walk out feeling more confused than when I walked in! 20 days late (no period at all in June) and heavy? who knows!

@critter Please don't let what that Consultant say get you down, I know its harsh, my fertility clinic consultant (after routine NHS tests) was a horror too, just saying the chances of going for IVF was practically nil, her words made me withdraw from thinking about it for 8 odd months before I realised I wouldn't get anywhere feeling like this.

@littlemimosa 50 days .. has anyone been able to give any answers as to why? I would hope 42 is far too early for menopause, fingers crossed its just one of these anomalies!

So sad to read your story Angel; there are no words. You have great courage.

Leezo, I'm so sorry for your losses - it's so hard, these little seeds really test us.

Evening everyone, it's been a while since we had a list - welcome Angel, Leezo and Monday

Alibaba: 42, dds 8 & 6, ttc 2 years
Angel: 42, 3 dds, angel boy Ollie
Apple: 42, mmc, tfmr, chemical, mc, ttc#1 three years
AtrocityNeedles: 44, ttc#1
Booseys: 46, ds, ttc 2.5-3 years
Chat: 45, 5dc, 3 mc, 1 cp
Chendy: 40, poss thinking about ttc#3
Claire: 44
Clara: 45, ttc #3
Cleo: 41, dc 5 & 7, mmc May, ttc 15 months
Cookie: 40, ttc#1, 3 months
Critter: 40, ttc#1, doing IVF
Dicky: 40, ttc#3
Eloisa: 45, dc 4, ttc 2 years
Emma: 41, ttc#1, mc in May
Emmalou: 42, dc 17, 10, 6
Faith: 43, dd 3.5, 2 mc, ttc 2 years
Helbelle: 42, mmc at 40, dd 14 months, BFP!!!
Hmmm: 41, 1dc, ttc 1 month
Hobbes: 41, ds 5, ttc 3.5 years, ectopic, IVF, cp, 2 mcs
Karigan: 40.5, ttc 7 months, 1 mc
Lapsed: 43, ttc #1
Letsdothis: 43, ttc #1
Leezo: 39, ttc #1, 1 mc, 1 cp
LittleMimosa: 42, dc 5 & 7, ttc 18 months
Matts: 48, dc 11 & 6, 4 cps
Mellongoose: 42, dd 3.5, ttc 2 years
Minime: 41, ttc #1 for 23 mths, 1 cp and 1 mc in march
Mondaycando: 44, ds 8 & 7
Nor: 44, ds 3, Patau's loss, ttc #2
Orchid: 41, dc 2.5, ttc >1 year, mc June
PollyIndia: 43, ds, ttc 18 months
Presh: 39, ttc#1, mmc 2017, Graves disease
Shiny: 40, dd 3, tfmr 2017, mc April
Sparrow: 43(?), ds 1.5, doing IVF
Weasle: 42, dc 7 & 5, 2 mcs 2017, cp in March

Hi all, just a quick one as i'm super busy at the mo.
Critter - i'm so sorry to hear how down you are and out of hope. I really think you need to attempt to block what that awful man said from your mind and attempt to regain the positivity. I know i keep harping on about it but please look at the Fertileheart website and read all the stories on there. Her books are amazing too for giving hope and tips and tricks too.

Hope all you ladies are well, i've still no cycle. 50 days and counting since last AF. I'm currently looking into Hypothalamic Amenhorea which is where your cycles stop from either being stressed or underweight and/or over-exercising. Sadly i fit the bill. Of course it could just be menopause too:-/ but i'm only 42!

@Cookiewaffle - I hope your pain is easing up now and that you and DH are looking after each other. Glad you’re still feeling positive about keeping trying 😊

My ovary pain is getting better - they still feel swollen and tender but the awful pain and not being able to move has gone now thank goodness.

@Hobbes39 - thanks for the info on your experience - it helps to know it’s normal to be screwed up! That crap doctor told me to expect AF as normal late July so I’ve been panicking that the down reg has shut everything down and up its not starting back up again! Normally I would ovulate on CD13 which is tomorrow, but as of today still low readings on CB OPKs, CM is seriously weird and all over the place, boobs still ache and just feel generally crap - definitely no nice pre-ov oestrogen high that I would normally have on day 12 😔 if everything starts back up again soon I’m not going to be cycling again until early October which just sucks 😔

I’m sorry you’re feeling so down Hobbes, I know exactly what you mean and I’ve only had 1 failed cycle so far. In my case that awful consultant squashed all the positivity I had out of me in just one 20 minute appointment, and to be honest i don’t really have any hope anymore. The experience has made me quite guilty, bitter and angry, especially towards my own body which I feel hate for now. I think this has a massive impact on our relationships and desire/ability to DTD so I get where you’re coming from with the pressure thing.

I have decided to try fertility/IVF acupuncture for this next cycle, together with Endo scratch so at least we can say that we tried everything. To be honest I wish we had just gone straight for donor eggs when we had the money but finding another £8k for that now is out of the question so these last two IVF cycles will be it.First acupuncture session is tomorrow and they tell me they can really help with the emotional negativity side of things so I’m really hoping I’ll feel better afterwards 😊 @Hobbes39 have you decided whether to try another IVF cycle or Not? The evil consultant told me that “over 40 we really should have very little expectation of it working, we just need to keep plugging away at it!” As if we don’t need to keep finding £5k every time we ‘plug away’ and it doesn’t destroy us emotionally, physically and financially each time! Really the guy was an idiot 😔

Sorry for the negative rant all - just need to get it out somewhere xxx

Hi Lets, I’m ok thanks. Nothing to report, no post-ov aches and pains like last month. But pre-ov hormones felt good. Waiting for prog to peak - no signs of that yet. x

Hi all
Welcome @Angelbabyollie - sorry you have had such a heartbreaking time - I cant imagine how difficult it has been for you . To have known and loved your baby but to lose him, there are no words ... x
@CookieWaffle - so sorry about your CP - it's hard getting hopes up for them to be dashed x
@CritterTamer - the cycle immediately after my IVF cycles has always been longer ( usually I'm about 25 days, cycles immediately post failed ivf have been more like 31 days) - think it takes time for the the hormones to come out your body so you will prob ovulate later - if you do. I def had anovulatory cycles twice - as was temping so could see my temps were totally erratic so think it's normal to take time to recover. Do you know when they will do your next cycle yet?

AFM - my period came on Friday - it's an odd one as it's light for me and there is quite a lot of mucous too (Sorry tmi) think it might just be remains of stuff coming out from miscarriage? I still haven't tested to make sure that tests are negative, I probably should.

We haven't tried this month since the ERPC due to me being tender and the bleeding and my DH being crippled! I'm hoping that everything is reset now and will start temping etc again now to see ifs an try again this month.

Re the frequency thing - I wonder about it as one thing IVF did for me was it sadly put me off DTD completely - have to make myself... its not like I don't enjoy it once I start, but it seems to have robbed me of my desire sadly - I think it's cos whenever we do it then puts that 'is this the time it might work' pressure on us... I don't know. Honestly I do feel sometimes that carrying on 'trying' takes a strength that I sometimes don't feel I have, if that makes sense? Feeling a bit miserable about it all. My DS finishes nursery next week and starts school soon & I just didn't think he'd still be an only child by now . Ug.

Hope others are feeling more positive x

Well the advice to dtd to be on the safe side was spot on, as today I got a peak, and a temp dip, meaning ovulation is happening today on cd12. It seems to have been sudden this time, I've never gone straight from low to peak on the monitor before with no high. And cd12 is early, so not sure what's going on there. I hope my overies are not packing up!! Although very pleased ov is actually happening, meaning I can relax and enjoy my holiday next week.
Going to get back to TCM in september and look into IVF & IUI

Lets - what do you think happened to your af last cycle? Do you think it was anovulatory? Or a chemical? 20 days late is a lot!

Cookie - I'm glad dp has been so supportive, that really helps. When I had my mmc in May, having dh there to say we'll try again and being so positive about things really helped. Fingers crossed for next time

Thanks everyone for the

Hi all hope everyone is well been MIA for the past week due to family staying over and wanting to be out sightseeing ALL the time! has been a good distraction however!

@cookie , sorry for AF arriving
welcome @angel and @lezzo

@critter our bodies are truly a mindf**k!

@booseysmom, hope you're well

Yes Sharon Marshalls news is truly encouraging and so happy for her. Well after my first ever time beg late and 20 days late at that AF was here with a vengence for 6 days, never had such a heavy period! back to trying DTD from tomorrow but I am now seriously going to research IVF (abroad) at 43 and TTC for 2 years I feel I need to stop burying head in sand!

@alibaba how are you?