Over 40 ttc - summer baby dust for me!

@mellongoose I set deadline just because I'll be 45 then and I'm finding it torture every month putting life on hold ttc, the ttw, not getting involved in parties/ celebrations, and quite frankly I think I'm too old for having this much sex every month

@CookieWaffle
It's so hard not to, I'm getting worse and worse as the months go by, symptom spotting is the worst though, I'm trying to keep busy and stop staring at the bloody app. I fell pregnant at 41 by accident, using the app to try NOT to get pregnant . And I drank loads... now I'm taking every supplement, wound up like a spring, not drinking and analysing the app and symptoms! Think I had it the right way round first time. Hang on in there xx

I'm totally losing my mind today. Last month I managed to be super chilled but this month I'm almost convinced it's gonna be a positive. I need someone to give me a slap and bring me back down to earth. I'm only 4dpo.... This is not a good start to the tww!

And hello to @Dinah99 and @Ficidy

Dinah - you're not the oldest here. I'm a fellow 44 yearer and there's at least 1 other person here who's older.

Ficidy - Sounds like a tough decision you have to make given what's going on for you. I've not been there (TTC #1) but I wish you the best with the conversation with your partner and hope you can come to an agreement on the path to take.

Think I'm in the 2ww but as I didn't get a positive opk or a temp drop I have no idea!!! I've written this month off tbh.
The only positive note bizarrely is I think I have a virus, not feeling too great, so that could explain the lack of temp drop....
positive news about Denise though!

@Orchid222 - I've gone straight to 3 x 25 and I started on Day 1 of this cycle. Figure I'll carry on with them until a) positive test, b) hideous side effects kick in, c) told to stop by a health professional or d) given up all hope

@CritterTamer - The potential side effects are what kept me from jumping in with the DHEA the previous month. The consultant I saw a couple of months ago confirmed I have dimished ovarian reserve and also my test results show lowered testosterone so I thought it worth a shot. Tried talking to hospital people about supplements but they rather shut me down so I'll hold my hands up and say I'm not doing this with their full support as they don't seem to want to discuss it. Very frustrating but I don't feel I can wait until my next appointment in 4 - 5 months to try asking again as time is obviously of the essence. Hopefully I can move that appointment forward after my last test (they want another progesterone which I'll aim for next cycle) and if I still feel like I'm getting fobbed off my partner and I will likely try a private consultation.

Having said all that I could also go the herbal or acupuncture route. Seeing my old acupuncturist this week for a catch up (and quick treatment for another issue) so will likely see about asking them questions as well.

Oh, and not noticed any negative side effects yet. I did get a couple of impressive spots but put that down more to the sweaty mess I become when the temparature goes above 21 degrees. If I do get side effects I'm hoping I get the improved gym performance rather than the head hair loss and body hair gains

@hmmm1234 that's fab news about denise Lewis... whoop whoop the 45 year olds!!! I intend to give up when my periods have stopped... we don't use contraception... so just leaving it Mother Nature

Hi ladies

Denise Lewis is pregnant at 45.. that gives me some hope

I thought about setting deadlines too but I think it will put the pressure on too much and I would keep extending them!

Welcome @Ficidy I know the one more waiting for you feeling... we'll all get there I have hope xx

Glad you found your way here @Dinah99. I'm in the tww at the moment. Telling myself I'm totally gonna wait to test and then symptom spotting at 3dpo . I will be keeping myself occupied with work and hobbies in the meantime. Going to get myself a nice massage to chill me out!

Welcome @Ficidy glad to have you on board. I can't speak from experience as it'd be nice to at least have 1 child!

Hi everyone, sorry for just jumping in. I hope that's ok??

Anyway, I'm 41. I've two kids (5 and 2) from ivf. I thought we were done, but lately, I've started thinking that I'd like another. I haven't told my husband yet because I'm afraid it'll be an outright NO! It'd have to be ivf again and we can't really afford it. Plus, my mental health has suffered a lot since having my second. I just don't know what to do, but I feel like there is a third baby waiting for me. Am I nuts? Should I leave it and just be happy with what I have? I'm knackered enough as it is. These kids are killing me. My bloody hormones have me so confused though - I just don't feel like I'm finished.

Welcome @Dinah99
@shinyblackdog we need a list update xx

Welcome Dinah. Sorry for your loss and fingers crossed for you.

Personally I think I may just give up and leave it to fate. If it happens it happens. Actually trying is driving me up the wall. Particularly with all the weird stuff that keeps happening to me.

Welcome @Dinah99!

Why have you set yourself a deadline? I'm interested because I have sort of loosely set one several times but reset it when it passed!!!

Sorry for your loss. Hope you find lots of support and advice here 👍

Hi,
Cookiewaffle directed me here. Nice to meet you all.

I'm 44, had #1 at 42 then MC this March and now ttc for last 3 months. Various health issues may be preventing implantation (thyroid/ submucosal fibroid)
Am I the oldest on here?
What are your top tips ladies and how do you stay sane in the tww. I've given myself until jan next year so a bit of a deadline.
X

Ooh @mellongoose and @BooseysMom small child invaded our bedroom yesterday morning.. right at the wrong moment.. so rubbish parenting went into gear and sweeties were promised if he popped downstairs to watch some telly with his sister.. 🤦‍♀️

Lol @BooseysMom! We've managed once during my fertile window this month. I feel like I had quite a short window this month although I can't say I've been super observant in the past.

Ewcm lasted from Thursday/Friday until yesterday. We dtd on Saturday night. Hopefully this worked! I think when we were trying last time we had loads more opportunity and also we got lucky 🍀

Thank you @chatbash and @cookie. I'll have a look in my lunch tomorrow in poundland. Am trying really hard not to think the sore boobness is anything other than af symptoms.....

mellongoose...ooh i completely understand! DS is in our bed every night and DH is in what should be his bed. .therefore opportunities to dtd are few and far between. I know mother-in-law is very against it from the start as DS won't stay at her house overnight and never has but surely she should be grateful for a virtually stress free grandparent experience! !
My fertile window is right now and so far number of attempts at ttc is big fat zero! ! Just got back from a zumba class after 6 weeks not doing anything and dtd is last thing i want to do ..i just want a long bath and to sleep for 2 days!!

I bought a pack on amazon, this is the only month I've had a positive though.

@mondaycando1 I just bought some test strips from Poundland.. but stopped using them and just went for ewcm to know when ovulating.. too much stress for me x

Very strong pmt / site boobs today so think cycle 1 was a fail, don't think we dtd enough at the right times either but we were insanely lucky with the other 2 (and I was younger) so didn't have to think about it much.

Think am going to get some ov sticks - which are the best to go for or are they a waste? Temping seems like a lot of faff!

Thanks @Shinyblackdog - that’s really helpful 😊 one good thing about the IVF cycle is that it’s cured me of my fear of needles so not too worried about that but good to hear it doesn’t hurt. In the past I’ve had it a couple of times during physio and it hurt a lot but that’s when I had a needle phobia so was rigid with fear and also the needles were going into injured muscles so hoping this will be a lot less unpleasant! 8m hoping it will help improve my lining mainly, plus give me a more positive mental outlook for the next IVF cycle.

@Crivit & Orchid - I don’t want to scare you but DHEA is that stuff that gets converted to testosterone I think? If so be careful with it as I did some research into that and it can cause nasty side effects If not taken under a doctors supervision, and can really mess up your hormones if you already had high testosterone. Plus I think it gives you horrible skin.

My next IVF cycle protocol will include testosterone gel which I’m not too comfortable with but apparently it can improve embryo quality, however they will only give it to me for the 4weeks leading up to the cycle start because of the side effects.

@Orchid222 - I had been considering the DHEA for sseveral weeks before taking the plunge. I'd heard it mentioned and it was also in the book 'It starts with the egg' as recommended for certain groups of people such as those with diminished ovarian reserve or age related infertility. The book seems to mainly discuss it in relation to taking it for a few months before an IVF cycle but as it works on egg quality I'm taking it just in case.

A micronized dose is recommended but I couldn't get hold of that (heard negative things about one supplier that I found and the website didn't exactly fill me with confidence) so I've got a standard one from Biovea but thought it worth a shot.

On a different note, my partner did their sperm test this morning and were told they only need to wait a week or so for the result so fingers crossed on them at least!