Over 40 ttc - summer baby dust for me!

@Cleozeta - god I hope so! I think all of us here have earned a bit of good luck and it’s about time some nice things happened to us all 😊

Critter, I'd go to bed now, and try again tomorrow!!!! Quick before anything else goes wrong!

Although to be honest, I always wonder, with really shit days like that, if it's a pre-payment for something good thats about to happen. Lets hope so, I think you've earnt it!

Oh my!! You poor thing. Okay, Universe, time to give Critter a break!! Enough is enough.

My DH is coming home every flipping day really negative because his business isn't making any money. So baby making is my priority but certainly not his. He's still going for it but I'm sure he's secretly relieved every time af turns up! I want to be positive but quite wearing after so long. I'm trying to be upbeat and positive but he's not in the mood. Ugh 😑

We really need some good luck, ladies. Our time will come.

Yeah being a consultant in an IVF clinic you’d think he’d have a little more empathy and compassion. I get that they have to be realistic and manage your expectations honestly but there are ways of doing that without steam rollering someone into the ground - all the other staff there have been amazing - this is the first man I’ve seen there so I wonder if that’s where the lack of compassion comes from?

My day just got even worse - went into my front garden to water the trees and stepped on a manhole cover that’s in the lawn - felt it move a little and the next thing a swarm of bees came up from a big hole that they’ve somehow dug under it - got stung to pieces 😢now sitting here feeling very sorry for myself holding ice packs on all my stung places......things can only get better right? 🤞

Critter. . i don't think i can say it with any more feeling than the msg's from ladies on here! But i can say from experience he's so completely wrong it's a wonder he can work in the medical profession. I had DS at 3 months shy of 41 so what does that say dear opinionated doctor?! Maybe get your facts right before you give rubbish advice! ! What Mellon says is true and it happened to us..we had resigned ourselves to it never happening and had given up ttc when it happened! So yes, kick back and try to forget it for a few months. .that's the best advice i can give xx

Ladies you are all so amazing and supportive - I love you all ❤️ Cleo you just made me laugh for the first time since Monday 😊
Yeah he was an asshole, even the two GPS I’ve seen this year (both male) haven’t made me feel shit about myself the way this guy did - no5 sure I’ll have the courage to complain about him though as I think he is one of the owners of the clinic and I have to do 2 more cycles there!

Took out some of my stress on the treadmill (at least I can start running again now) so feeling a tad better and your lovely messages help too. I suppose we will try naturally again this month (no more lost condoms yay!) If DH ever speaks to me again. After yelling at me in the clinic waiting room about my negative emotions and attitude causing the failures I have my doubts. What he calls negativity I just call realism and self preservation but he doesn’t get it - because I didn’t spend the TWW talking to my stomach and picking baby names like him apparently it’s my fault it didn’t work.....

Anyway I guess it’s just raw at the moment and we’ll be fine in a few days AF only arrived finally last night and it’s the worst one of my life (the things about IVF they don’t warn you about!) so hopefully I’ll feel better once thats over. My main concern about ttc naturally now is that i know my lining was too thin - does anyone know any ways to improve lining thickness?

I'm so sorry you had an asshole consultant critter, he really sounds awful. And you are supposed to be paying him for this?? He can go jump.
It's not over, at all. Prove him wrong!
And maybe use the 3 months that you are waiting, to try naturally, as another option if you feel like you want to be doing something. Maybe if that works, you can take the positive pregnancy test, and ram it really hard up his massive bogey infested nose.

So sorry to hear this Critter. What a low blow. If your DH is anything like mine he gets pissed off and negative when I am and vice versa. He probably wants to solve/fix it for you and is upset that he can't.

Please be kind to each other.

As someone else said, women over 40 have been getting pregnant for centuries. Things don't just stop working because you had a birthday. Having said that, and I mean this with much kindness and gentleness, taking a few months off from the pressure of trying to conceive might help.

The amount of stories I hear of women who did just that and the miracle happened is quite substantial. Maybe take a month or two to concentrate on you and what makes you happy and go back to it with a fresh head. Again, only a suggestion and one coming from a place of positive energy xx

@CritterTamer oh my f...ing god!!!! As someone who has worked in the medical profession for the best part of 25 years I am disgusted... I'm sorry but if you feel you have the strength write a complaint about him... what bloody right does he have to speak to you this way!!!! And you are going private..., vile vile man 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
He is bloody bloody wrong.. please try to ignore the crap spewed out of his mouth 💩
Big big big big hugs... get absolutely wasted tonight and dtd with the other half.. Might keep him quiet for a bit 💕💕💕💕💕😘😘😘😘

Oh god critter im so sorry! I know how u feel regarding the negative attitude towards us ladies on the wrong side of 40.....
I can't offer any miracle words of hope, just that the medical professionals don't know everything all of the time...
x

Well just as I thought things couldn’t get any lower this week, just had cycle review appointment at my clinic. My regular consultant (female) is on hols so saw a new one (male) and it was basically the private doctor’s slightly politer version of the NHS “you’re 40, your eggs are shit quality, you have no business having any hope, now fuck off and deal with it”. Oh, and he’s going to make me wait three months for another try.

Kinda feel like the whole thing is pointless and hopeless now, DH hates me because I’m so fucking miserable and thinks it’s all my fault for being negative, honestly I feel like if it wasnt for my three dogs needing me I would just go jump in front of a train and get it all over with. The thought of 40 more childless years or so of regret and bitterness is pretty shit to be honest.

Sorry for the negativity - guess DH is right and i need some serious help 😢

Thanks Monday..coming your way too! The only app i ever look at is the ovulation calculator. According to the one on here i should be dtd any day now! I really long for a spring baby.. Always have ...so has got to be now! Good luck & baby dust blowing your way xx

Right - day 1, cycle 1 on this road again, my bad mood of the last couple of days explained away! I am giving us til Christmas for this last blast attempt at #3, although gp wants me back in 3 months if the erratic heavy spotting continues so I need to really start paying attention to my body's signs now we're without any contraception at all. Are there any good apps for this?
Hobbes and Cleo - interesting / sobering stats about the egg decline after 40. I've been having regular periods for about 32/3 years in all so I can't really have that many left!
Sending you all positive good egg vibes!

It sure is Cleo! I think we're currently on msg 652 if you look at our thread title on the conception topic! That's got to be one of the longest lasting threads!

Hobbes, that does make sense. Just so depressing that there is no simple answer or fix. As time ticks by chances become less, month by month

How much ubiquinol do you take daily? I am on 200 but wonder if that is enough? Did you get any advice on thid during your IVF time? I'm so sorry all those chances did not work for you, that must be heartbreaking (and wallet breaking on top)

Boosey, yes this thread is a true rollercoaster!

Weasle, good luck testing tomorrow - we are counting on you!

Ps. Welcome to Sparrow and Monday.
Critter.. That comment about cavemen made me lol. So true.
The stuff about egg viability must explain my lack of fertility. I get all the signs of ovulation but never that elusive bfp. Like right now. ..tmi alert!! ...i have ewcm and cramps and when this happens we dtd when i think it might be successful but nothing. So yes mother nature is a bitch as she gives you all the signs but no joy...or are we just constantly missing ovulation? ?

Hi ladies, well after days of no internet (thanks BT!) i'm catching up now and must say the last 3 pages have made me both laugh and cry. Firstly Cleo's comment about why can't the oily fish be cod (with chips and curry sauce naturally) !! Lol.
I knew about the refined carbs supposedly causing early menopause but i hate brown rice.
So then after laughing about that i cried when i read Critter's news. Critter. .so sorry about about the bfn. If it's any consolation my sis-in-law conceived on the 2nd round and she's 34. Praying it will happen for you soon
Letsdothis..yes, 12 weeks before we knew about ds! I had lighter and later periods but put it down to peri-men! Then af didn't show at all in the 3rd cycle and that was when alarm bells rang! DS was in there all along!

Sorry my previous post was so negative, I don't mean to put a downer on our chances - I guess what I was trying to say is that come 42 chances of success with ivf aren't that much better than naturally to make it worthwhile, so IVF isn't really the answer for us older ladies unless you want to have donor eggs. As said above, I think our bodies are smart enough to weed out the bad eggs better than IVF can, unless you do PGS where they screen the embryos before transferring them.
Having been thru so many cycles in the last 2 years, I realised that we got a total of 21 eggs over 3 collections, and I was in the process of ivf for about 20 months... so basically averages out as an egg a month... the same as I would be if trying naturally, hence why I caution against thinking it's the answer. I still very much think that there's a chance for all of us & I definitely believe ubiquinol is worth taking and trying to be healthy etc - that's my strategy now!

With my previous pregnancies I've had a faint line at 10 DPO on a frer. Just hope they come today so I can poas tomorrow morning

10 DPO today and can't test as my sticks haven't turned up yet! What an oversight!!! However not a sniff of a symptom still, so not hopeful

Yeah Cleo you’re so right. I think the problem is that human fertility was designed to work for cavemen who only lived for 30 years and didn’t have to worry about jobs and mortgages!