TTC After Pregnancy Loss Thread 22.

@Lovemysparkle have an amazing wedding day! Really is the best day ever & hope you enjoy every minute!

@Boboelephant 🤞🤞🤞🤗 so glad it's not over yet. Hoping for you that it's IB! Here for you over the next couple of days though! 🤞🐧

@SerenaOverjoyed I second what knitkitty said about the iffy egg bit. My main way of coping with the miscarriage last time was to read up on research around miscarriage to try & get answers. And what I realised is actually the research is seriously lacking however from what has been done to date I believe the hyperfertile theory holds the most value as the likely cause for the majority of women who are prone to recurrent miscarriages but have nothing found on testing. From what I'd read most healthy women by the time they are 30 have 50% chromosomally normal eggs & 50% not in storage. By the time we're reaching 45 it's 25/75%. So we are essentially all flipping a coin with our eggs each cycle & the theory is that hyperfertile women are more likely to implant dodgy egged embryo Vs non hyperfertile women who may take a few more cycles to get pregnant but when she does it's more likely to be a healthy bean as her womb lining has been doing a successful kind of quality control function. Hope my ramblings make sense? Also even if it's a healthy egg there's always a chance each cycle that it's a dodgy sperm or that the embryo doesn't divide properly. Amazes me with the amount of chance in this whole thing that any woman ever manages to get pregnant! 🤷‍♀️

@KnitKitty sorry everything is still kind of confusing for you. I hope your cycle resets soon for you though so you can get some closure. It's really good that your zen about it all still- is definitely the mindset to have. May have to try that headspace stuff!

@RedRobin7 🤞 it is a sign. Good luck with the TWW. Is definitely the waiting is the worst part of this process I find.

I'm popping back to add another penguin on the outside of the huddle.

@lovemysparkle I hope you have a wonderful day!! Enjoy and savour every minute!

@bobo I keep stalking this thread to see how everyone is getting on, wishing you all luck and good news. You are one of the people in particular I'm routing for as you are such a great support to everyone else and have had a dreadful time. I think we also had a lot of similarities in our situations too. It took my 8 months post MC to conceive. Those were undoubtedly the hardest in my life (there were other contributing factors). It seemed like every month more people got there BFP and there were less and less of the original people I joined with. Whilst I was pleased for them and it gave me hope to see them progressing well, I couldn't help but wonder when it would be my turn. That's one of the reasons I've not checked in to give updates. I think I'm rambling now. Basically I wanted to say, you're not alone and we are all huddled round you so you can keep going and make this happen. Be kind to yourself - this is really hard. I still get upset seeing pregnant women because of what I've been through. Someone of this thread previously said "I can't give up because the prize is too great." I have no doubt that your future has you holding a beautiful little baby. Xx

@Lovemysparkle have a magical day!

@Boboelephant how very confusing for you! I do hope it was IB though. You just gonna wait until AF is due to test now?

I'm 7dpo and my boobs are killing I like to think this is a sign but I know this happens every month. I'm not hopeful this month, been so run down with a cold all week on top of working 4:30 each day (gonna spend all day tomorrow in bed) I feel like counting myself out already. Last night I was questioning if I still want to do this, I feel like I have no life right now, TTC has literally taken over everything.

Have an AMAZING wedding day @lovemysparkle make sure you and your new hubby get to spend a few minutes alone to soak it all in x

Hey you lovely ladies I have been reading & catching up with you all every spare second I’ve had!! Sorry I haven’t posted as been manic busy as it’s the eve of my wedding day as we speak!! @boboelephant & @hidcat & everyone else thank you soooo much for your well wishes for my wedding day, I really can’t believe it’s here!
For all of you in your different situations I can relate to each & every one of you but I echo what @bobo says although it’s shit time is a healer & as strong women we will always find a way to get back off of our knees in our darkest days & stand again on both feet!! Use whatever you can as a crutch to prop you up until you find your own personal way❤️
To all of you in your early/more advanced stages of pregnancy it’s so lovely to hear your updates & fantastic news it really does seem to lift us all huge hugs to you all & keep the updates coming 👍🏼
For all that needs a 🐧🐧 huddle stay as long as you need❤️
@boboelephant I am so sorry that temps/ib/af is sodding about with you from the bottom of my heart I hope you get an answer very soon. Sometimes in life there are certain people that stick out & have a special ora about them and a YOU are one of them people ❤️ I truly believe that all the women on here are fantastic but you are the sticky glue that keeps us all together & always think of us one by one❤️ I just wanted to let you know that you are a very special person & you deserve such happiness 🌈🌈 sooner rather than later ❤️
Well I had better get some bridal beauty sleep & I promise I will fill you in with everything in the next few days!! Love to you all 💐🌹💐

Thanks @Knitkitty and @Redrobin7 for your advice on a drink during the TWW. Since I wrote that I've been struck with cystitis - JKS definitely has it's downsides! We dtd 5 times in a row this week so just have to hope that was enough. Think ovulation was today (got one last JKS in this morning before the the the cystitis struck!) so tomorrow i'm starting TWW properly. Having a drink is now waaay down my list of things I feel like doing!

How's everyone else doing? Hope those who are having a hard week are planning a self care weekend and looking after themselves. Is anyone testing soon and would like a little support? x

sweetpea0318 I'm glad it went well for you at the gynae. Sorry it looks like AF has arrived though.

SerenaOverjoyed I'm glad they've referred you. I wouldn't blame you having a month or two off. It's such a roller coaster! If you are hyperfertile you may not even have "jiffy eggs". I read up on it after it was mentioned before and it sounds like hyperfertile wombs just welcome everything and anything where most others are more discerning, so probably everyone would lose most of their pregnancies if they got pregnant nearly every time, if you get what I'm trying to say. I hope you get some answers when you go anyway, or they at least get the ball rolling.

YellowDaffodils86 yes, I've had this thought too; women who don't want children and who abuse their bodies during pregnancy seem to have no trouble carrying to term whereas us lot would love to be parents and bend over backwards for our child-to-be and we can't keep them. I try not to think about it too much though. Life can be cruelly unfair sometimes.

TedLife I don't think one or two drinks is a bad thing so long as you don't get hammered. The first month of pregnancy the baby doesn't get nutrients directly from Mum anyway, from what I've understood.

Pancakes7 Hugs! The first month is the hardest. You'll be ok. xxx

Boboelephant my goodness I'm on the edge of my seat. I agree exactly with what Yellow said about it being like reading a book! (Hey, can someone write a novel about our little group?!?)
I really hope you're not out for the month. Will keep my fingers crossed for you still.

zarala I'm glad you're keeping busy and not finding it too hard organising the baby shower!

Lilimum4 sorry AF showed up early. xxx

I'm getting sensations around my uterus area this evening (they've been coming and going a bit and yesterday I had sore nipples), so I'm thinking maybe I'm about to have another bleed if there's something my body didn't quite manage to get rid of during my period last week after CP. It would account for the vaguely positive test that I took a few days ago. (Can't remember what day that was now.) Anyway, feeling a bit periody so would actually like to have a good clear out so I can start afresh again. Feeling a bit in limbo at the moment, though pretty zen still, so I'll take it. :)

Well my tww is officially over AF showed up today 3 bloody days early. Now I'm thinking why did that happen, never ever been early ever I my life.

How is everyone else doing.

@boboelephant hugs hun

Bobo don't apologise, we're all routing for you!!

@Boboelephant I literally echo what @YellowDaffodils86 just said... I had to pull over to read the thread properly and my god the emotions I went through!! Can't imagine how you're feeling but am SO relieved it's not over, you're still in with a chance. Please keep us updated, you have given so many of us huge amounts of support and attention over the last months and it's your turn now for a bobo centred penguin huddle. COME ON!!! This is going to be ok!!! Xxxx

Thank you both so much for your kind messages. @Boboelephant @YellowDaffodils86 I know time will help. I lost my Dad 8 years ago and it's obviously Fathers day but also my Dad's birthday on Tuesday. So that probably isn't helping my current state of mind. I just did headspace. My last free trial day. I've subscribed and going to do the 30 day pack for grief. I'm hoping it helps.

@Boboelephant I really hope it goes well for you. When will you test?

@Boboelephant ahhh what a rollercoaster day! I checked in earlier to see if there was any news from you and though AF had reared her head- I was so gutted for you. But I had to dash and didn't get a chance to write but now it looks like you're not out yet! 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽
I'm crossing everything for you that it all turns out positive! Really want this to happen for you!
Ahhh@Cakelaur this will be an amazing turnaround if @Boboelephant follows your pattern! 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽

@Pancakes7 I'm sorry you're feeling so sad at the moment- it is not fair at all. But it will get easier and we get stronger! And it will happen for us all one day!

Sorry I don't have much time today to write to everyone. I'm hosting a baby shower tomorrow for my cousin who's due date is 2 days before what my last one would have been. I saw her today for the first time- she lives in Boston- crazy to think I would have also had a bump right now- somehow tho I'm really happy for her- they struggled to conceive for a long time and she desperately wanted a child. I think it's about somehow accepting what has happened even though it's so difficult and makes no sense and is just not fair. But anyway I have been running around preparing today and up early tomorrow
Just want to send big hugs and penguin love to everyone here who needs it
❤️🐧

@Pancakes7 sorry you are having a shitty time and feeling sad. Its true it does get easier. Just have to keep thinking you are one of many, and lots of those many went and had lovely healthy babies. So it will happen, and you are not alone.

@Boboelephant Oh my gawd! That catch up was like thinking your favourite character had died in a book and then you realise it was a twist and all along they were ok😂
Im glad it still looks promising! Are you 11dpo today? Could well be implantation!
Also feel free to use as soundboards, what we are here for, it helps to get it all your chest.

I am craving chips in gravy, have been all week! Im meant to be on diet but can feel my willpower slipping! 🐷
Felt a wired nauseousness all day today, a bit dizzy at times and really tired and my bb are sore but not, tender but not, its odd.
This morning i also had a really af on her way feeling but then subsided.
I think im reading into things to much!

OMG @Boboelephant totally not trying to encourage... BUT... that's EXACTLY what happened to me!! Pink up by cervix for two days with temp drop AND then third day temp rise and BFP!! Omg!!! I'm excited!! Come on progesterone cream! Do your thing!!! Let that little bug implant!!! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

@strawberrye thankyou hun!! ❤
@Pancakes7 I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time. I know it doesn't feel like it now but time really is a healer. Obviously I'm having a bit of a crazy wobble right now but I do remember the first month after my MC and just not even being able to think about it without crying. 6 months on although I ache to be pregnant again I can truly say that the all consuming pain reduces. Definitely keep doing headspace as it sounds like it helps and make sure you allow yourself time to grieve and time for yourself but also time to laugh and be happy. I hope you fall pregnant again asap but it's important to be kind to yourself just in case it takes a little longer. As all the lovely ladies have shown for me today- we are all here for you x

Still feeling down. Had another cry with DH. Back home now which is a relief. Just feeling like its so unfair. Why me? Why us? I know this is a bad train of thought which will get me nowhere but sometimes I can't shake it. I haven't had time to do headspace since Monday due to work trip. Wondering if my meltdown is coming on partly because of that. Must get back to it as its clearly helping. @Boboelephant I am glad it's stopped. Fx for you! I really hope it's good news.

Really hoping it's implantation bleeding @bobelephant, but we'll all be here regardlesa of what the outcome is. Thinking of you

Thankyou @RedRobin7!! I am sure I am being foolish hoping I'm still in but ah well, there you have it. Hope your cold is a sign!
@HidCat thanks hun! I hope you are feeling better and managed some rest. And some jks. 😉
@hayleyfx thanks hun. Keep them crossed tight for me! I know! Feeling very supported in this lovely penguin huddle!

❤❤❤❤🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧❤❤❤❤

@Boboelephant oh I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling down and thought you were out but yay for it stopping! Hopefully it’s implantation. Going to continue to keep everything crossed for you. Lovely to see all the support you’re getting 😊

@Jessabean thank you hun. It’s definitely a scary time, glad I still have everyone here to talk to!

@Boboelephant Do not apologise!! We are all on this journey with you and want to hear your updates. So so strange but great if it is implantation bleeding! Back to keeping those fingers crossed!🤞

Ah I love all of you guys. You're just the best. So it turns out it might not have started after all. This is a bit weird for me and I almost don't want to write this as I'm sure once I do she will turn up in full force! But DH has gone out and this thread calls to me! (Like the water calls to Moana... can you tell I have a 2.5 year old? 😂)
So tmi and I'm deeply sorry... I was having a little check of my cervix earlier and that's when I found the blood. Popped a tampon in but it came out clean. Nothing since then. I don't spot before my period it just starts so this is odd. But I'm annoyed at this because I'm sure with the temp drop af will start any moment but of course my evil subconscious is convinced that I am still in with a chance and maybe this is late implantation bleeding. Which for the record I have never had!!! Ahh shoot me now. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I am so sorry that this is all about me me me at the moment. I am annoying myself. Must get a grip!!!

@SerenaOverjoyed I'm glad to see you back love. I'm so sorry for your journey, it really is unfair. I hoppe they can get you some answers and it's a tiny issue they can fix easily.
@sweetpea0318 sorry for the spotting.
@PassTheAfterEights sending you lots of love too hun xx
@Jessabean yep sure of ovulation. I use opks, temp and track cm and cervix. But if it starts tomorrow that's 11 day so slightly better.

Sorry for all the names I've missed who wished me well. I appreciate all of you but DS is demanding I go build him a block tower so must dash! xxx

@bobotheelephant oh bobo, so bloody sorry. Be kind to yourself this weekend.

@pancakes7 I’m so sorry that happened to you, people can be so flippin insensitive.

I feel like lots of us have had set backs and hard times this week. I like @knitknitty’s expression of just ‘riding the wave’. Gonna try that...

So sorry bobo :(

@RedRobin7 Well I just caved and POAS to satisfy my needs 🤣🤣🤣 oh well. Obviously it was a BFN.
I plan on doing a FRER on 24th. That’s the day AF should arrive, or even be a day late. Xxx