TTC After Pregnancy Loss Thread 22.

@Redrobin7 I feel so similar. Previously when I've been pregnant I've had no symptoms just a feeling that I might be. Let's see how the week unfolds. Fx.

@knitkitty it's so hard for TTC not to take over everything. When it becomes this pressured it's so hard for us and for our DHs. Definitely worth a chat with your DH. There was a time when s*x with DH or boyfriend was not about having babies at all. I think sometimes DH miss that, sometimes (occasionally!) maybe some of us do too. I hope the talk goes well. We all need a bit more zen in our lives. Good for you for trying.

DaisyMay25 I'm sorry your therapist passed away, and that they haven't found a replacement yet. I wonder why it's taking so long to find someone else? My OH never talks about it either. I think like yours he feels he has to be the strong one because I was so down for so long and he's not used to seeing me like that. I don't think he realises it may have helped the healing if he'd talked about it more. I don't feel we're communicating very well about the whole thing at the moment.

lolacola13 welcome to the group, sorry for your loss. xxx

RedRobin7 I really hope that line keeps getting darker! Fingers tightly crossed for you.

zarala it's sooo hard not to symptom spot even when you tell yourself you're not going to! I totally understand the mixed emotions. I've only had one MMC but the fear of it happening again is strong.

Paml3m0usse hi again, I'm glad the antibiotics seem to have worked. Sounds like you've been really busy! Make sure you give yourself time to relax. Sorry about your mum. You've got so much on your plate right now! Hugs xxx

Newbie21 yes, I wish the TTW was still exciting rather than nerve-wracking. I hope the rest of your wait goes quickly. Fingers crossed for you.

Well I'm annoyed at myself today.
I've been so zen and calm up until now and I feel like I've lost it again and I'm all frazzled.
Yesterday I had quite bad pain on my right side, which felt like ovary pain. First panicky thought was that it was a cyst (I live in terror that I will lose my one ovary and never be able to have children), but I reasoned with myself that it was far more likely just bad ovulation pain. I mentioned to OH that I thought I was ovulating (and also my worry about it possibly being a cyst). We've only DTD twice this cycle, the last time being 5 days ago so I was curious to see if knowing I was probably fertile would spur OH into action. It did not.
Then as I was going to bed I felt really angry. He just doesn't seem to understand that it takes two people to make a baby and they don't just magically appear! And then I was angry at myself because a) I had sort of given myself a month off this month, so why does it matter anyway. And b) I didn't communicate very well with him, the fact that maybe it was a good idea we had sex as it was probably the last chance this month.
Gaaarrgh!!!

He sensed that I was very moody this morning when he went to work but I think he doesn't know why. Might have to try and talk to him later without getting annoyed or upset so we have a better game plan for next month.

Rant over.

@hayleyfx @lolacola13 Thanks ladies that's reassuring but still scared to get my hopes up.

@zarala Yesterday with the very faint line I was either 10/11 dpo. Just a bit confused what day I ovulated. Going by pains it's 11dpo but based on the app and being told the pain could be the day before, it may have been 10dpo. I've tested again this morning and it's still a very faint line but slightly clearer than yesterday. I can see it without squinting.

I definitely don't feel at all excited that there's a line. I'm more nervous than anything and I know if this does turn out to be a BFP I won't be able to relax. I had a MMC after seeing the heartbeat, so I know I'll still worry if I see a heartbeat again. There's no enjoyment in this any more.

@Pampl3m0usse I'm so sorry things are so hard for you right now. Thinking of you x

@Newbie21 I had period type cramping on Saturday and random twinges. On Sunday I had a full day of uncomfortable bloating. Period is due on Thursday. I felt at the weekend I could be pregnant but not feeling it now. When I was pregnant in Jan I had no symptoms until AF was due though. I've ordered some CB digital tests for Thursday. These FRERs and faint lines are driving me mad! Good luck xx

@zarala I agree. I'll wait. Wishing you lots of luck. Keep me posted. I feel like AF is coming. Remind me when your AF would be due?

@Newbie21 I think you should just wait a bit longer if you can... ! Sending hugs

@Newbie21 feeling exactly the same sista! 🙌🏽

@Pampl3m0usse so sorry to hear of the news of your Mum. That must be devastating for you.

I am hating the TWW. In my heart of hearts I don't think I am pregnant. I have had period pain twinges for days now. I shouldn't be due AF for another 4-5 days. I have a cheap shop bought pregnancy test which I could use but I'm actually scared to. Scared of it being BFN or a BFP. I'd spend the entire time panicking if it was a BFP which can't be healthy. If I did the test tonight do you think it would show or am I best to wait until tomorrow or to when AF is due?

I remember when the TWW was frustrating yet exciting and all I wanted was to be pregnant. It's such a different experience now.

Pampl3 I'm really sorry to hear about your mum, I can't imagine what u went through! x

Ladies, I took some time out (DD’s First Holy Communion, Fathers Day, our new house finally being completed – although we’re not moving in for a few weeks). Period over by CD3 and cramps / issues seem to be much better so maybe antibiotics have done the trick….

@rdm10 excellent news; I will confess to a pang of jealousy but am so pleased for you, and it should give us all hope.
@Pancakes7 and @Zarala here’s to similarly good news coming up for yiou both.
@ YellowDaffodils86 onwards and upwards for you… sorry about the shit morning (and know all about the not feeling bothered about work, although it’s forcing me to be a bit more pragmatic about what I actually do… hopefully it can be similarly positive for you.
@KnitKitty… the feeling hopeless side of things really gets to me… although I had my eldest almost 8 years ago (was heavily pregnant painting her room in the 2010 world cup) and in theory I should have another 8 years of fertile ish years left, so I’m sure we’ll both get there in the end. It’s just hard feeling like life is on hold until it happens.
@Lilimum4 it feels like dark old days when you realise how pregnant you should be. I should be coming up to being able to find out what we were having… instead flabby and lethargic.
@Boboelephant… I spotted your bad news a couple of days ago and have been thinking of you all weekend. I’m glad you managed to find some solace in having a few drinks. Again, onwards and upwards for you. I’m sure it’ll be your turn soon.
Thinking of all of you I’ve forgotten too…..

Feeling a bit down here today and had a good cry in the car on my way to/from work. It’s six months and two days since my Mum committed suicide and the whole Loughborough Junction news has brought back the horror of what happened. I thought I’d begin to have got over the shock by now but every time I think about it it just makes me more sad/angry etc…

Dpo6 here- first month TTC since 3rd MMC in March
Weird twinges in lower abdomen
Really don't want to symptom spot
I am really anxious about getting a BFP
The idea of seeing a positive line is already freaking me out
I have had 3 mc's since last August - saw heartbeats twice
I just don't know how IF it happens for me I will be able to relax for about 9 months!
Ahhh
Now I am worried that we have TTC to soon and maybe I should just wait

But then I get worried that if I get a Bfn I am also going to be really upset

Eugh... think I'm going to try some meditation 🧘🏽‍♀️ and try and do some yoga this week -

Sorry just needed to vent

With

Fx @RedRobin7 !!!

Please keep us posted
My doctor wants me to test at 10dpo and I'm so worried as I've never got a BFP before AF was due - so it will be great to hear how you get on!!!

Oooo
How exciting @RedRobin7 . I got a v b faint pos at 10dpo and then tested with v b strong fmu and got a good line at 11dpo.. not as equally dark as control line but a good solid one none the less

@RedRobin7 fingers crossed it turns into a nice dark line! My first FRER was so faint (at about 10dpo I think) I tested again 2 days later and it was much darker! Hope it all works out for you 🤞

Thanks everyone! I'm driving myself mad today - I've looked at this morning's test 100 times already and still feeling like I can't trust that it's positive yet. I've not used FRERs before so if there's a faint line today which is 3 days before period is due, is it likely to be any darker tomorrow? Not sure how quickly these lines appear or disappear.

I hope I'm not upsetting anyone, sorry if I am.

@KnitKitty I know it's early but I just don't feel like I'm pregnant this month. Unfortunately my therapist passed away late last year and my doctors haven't gotten a new one yet so for counselling I'd have to go private. I do wonder if it might do me and DH good to go together though, he never talks about it. I think that's because I suffer badly with depression and he feels like he has to be the one to be strong.

@Laney79 I know the feeling I was pregnant 4 weeks ago now I'm not . I found this urge crept in almost immediately like the day I started bleeding of NEEDING to be pregnant . My hormones settled and I started thinking straighter the last few days , xoxoxox

Massive congrats @rdm10 no mistaking that at all. Bring on more bfps!!

@RedRobin7 good luck for the line getting darker soon!

@rdm10 congratulations! And @RedRobin7 hoping those lines get clearer for you.

I think I'm about to ovulate too @KnitKitty and we've only DTD once this cycle Been working horrible hours, just finished nights this weekend. Hoping we can JKS this evening in time for ovulation, but like some of you ladies I am beginning to not feel very hopeful in this whole TTC journey. Maybe some sleep will help...off for my post nights nap!

RedRobin7 I really hope this is the first glimmer of some very exciting news!!! Please keep us updated!

Lilimum4 Hugs. I would have been coming up to 23 weeks this week. Very strange to think about. I've been avoiding thinking about it to be honest, but I'm not sure suppressing it is healthy either. Just feel the pain when it comes and ride it out. You will feel better again (especially when AF finishes, that' never helps!)

YellowDaffodils86 I hope your day gets better. I was working all weekend too. Exhausted.

Good luck to those in FW and TTW. Hope AF isn't being too mean to those who are enduring her visit atm. And those in the limbo stage inbetween AF and FW, hang in there, keep yourselves busy!

Not sure where I'm at in my cycle. I think I may be ovulating or about to ovulate. I've had funny sensations and almost pains for a few days which are coming and going so trying not to tell myself I have a cyst growing. Could just be ovary doing its thing... I hope. We've only DTD twice this month so far, once just after AF and again about 4 or 5 days ago so I'm pretty sure my chances are very slim this month, but not too bothered. Going to properly try next cycle.
I took another test this morning and got the BFN I've been waiting for. I think the one I took after AF must have been lingering hormones from CP.

Keeping everything crossed @RedRobin7

Hugs to all those who need them.

First day back at work today after my holiday (and seeing Johnny depp as part of the Hollywood vampires on sat night-teenage dream come true!)

I'm 7DPO after the holiday JKS...so trying not to get hopes up or symptom spot...but it's so hard! When I caught last time it was just a case of what will be will be so I never felt this desperate urge...now I just NEED to be preggers again. Does that make sense? I have quite an obsessive nature anyway so trying not to get too hung up is very hard!!!

@rdm10 congratulations!! Hope it's a smooth pregnancy for you!
@ek78 haha!!! Any way you can add some flavour hey? 😂 Hope ov holds off for you until you get back.
@Claire138 it might be something to try. We have tried it before as well as SMEP but last few months have just been marathoning. Think I'll suggest it to DH- although I'm sure he won't be pleased to lose his daily fix!! Haha 😂
@Lilimum4 I think you just get used to remembering to temp. I put thermometer right next to bed and phone so I see it immediately. To be fair if it's just having a quick stretch I don't think it'll make a huge difference!
@YellowDaffodils86 and @DaisyMay25 sorry for bfn. Sending hugs.
@RedRobin7 keeping everything crossed for you.

Hugs to all who need it. I hope we all get there in the end. I know the feeling when it all seems impossible!

@rdm10 Congratulations! Keeping everything crossed for you that this one sticks xx

@KnitKitty That's so lovely the OP came back to the thread to give a positive update. It does give us all hope!

So yesterday I used two ICs at either side of the day. BFN. This morning I caved (10/11dpo) and I have a very very faint line. I know not to get my hopes up. Will test again in the morning and then I better get myself some more tests. Silly me for thinking I'd have the willpower to wait! 🙈 Not told my husband yet as want it to be a clear positive first.