The Good, The Bad and The Yams!

Currently sitting here sobbing.. as just took another test and its negative.. but STILL no sign of my bloody FP. I am so fed up.. .just start already!

Also had a call from my DH to tell me that his sample results came back and its basically okay now... Which is great news because it means we wont have to pay for ICSI and can just have normal IVF. But.. it just makes me feel so crappy because it now means that the fact we can't seem to get pregnant is ALL my fault because of my low AMH.

ive been so weepy the past couple of days.. its gotta start soon surely.

haha dont worry @Si1ver.. I was still going to do what my clinic said.. just found it interesting that it can be so different. :) Im on different meds to you too if I remember rightly.

@OwlPatrol nope.. still nothing.. although Ive been feeling a bit sicky since about 11.. and my cramps have gotten a bit worse.. so im thinking it will be later this afternoon or this evening. Just want it to hurry up now. Convinced i'm not pregnant but still have that tiny teeny bit of hope...

@ImpatientMammy Sorry to hear that its day 1 for you!

@Pinkemi any news? I hate the dryness it's always a sign for my impending af. I hear so many stories with ladies who have increased cm before a bfp it's so annoying! Well I've been a mixed bag of randomness today....woke up feeling sick and had some soup for lunch and still feeling rough. I think I'm like 2dpo so basically it means nothing but still!

CD1 of cycle 11 today sorry I've not been keeping up very well. Anyone know what will happen when I go to the drs next month? I have a nearly 3 year old but we weren't actually trying with him we were just reckless with the contraception.
Any advice or information will be really gratefully received. I'll try have a catch up now. X

It was for me as I have short cycles, but ALL clinics give different advice on this stuff. You can only go by what your clinic says not random strangers on the internet

Hope your FP turns up soon.

hmmm thats interesting @Si1ver. My clinic told me if i started like in the middle of the night then that would be considered day one. If i started on like 8pm... day one would be the next day, so to then start meds the next day on day 2.

STILL no sign of my FP but my temp dropped this morning and i am one seriously cranky mofo.. so i imagine it will be today. JUST WANT TO GET ON WITH IT NOW!

Convinced my recent sickness has given me some sort of infection down there.. its so itchy Wonder if i can take meds for that and do the injections at the same time? Looks like ANOTHER email to the IVF nursing team. haha. I bet they see my name and roll their eyes now. haha

I remember getting to that stage and looking in the fridge torn between freaking out at the meds and just wanting to get the fuck on with it.

Then there was the "what qualifies as a full bleed day" conversation. I started about 8 pm at night, but bleeding heavily. Is that day one* or does it have to be a whole day? You can drive yourself crazy with this stuff.

*Yes that's day one.

@Si1ver Yeah.. i thought it might be the stress of everything thats been happening recently putting my body out of wack. Doesn't help that I keep looking at the meds in my fridge and getting nervous.. Its my bodies way of saying it doesn't want to do it. haha

I guess at least I dont have to worry about holiday etc quite yet. Just keeping my fingers crossed that no-one has holiday when i need to have my egg collection day! If they do.. ill just call in sick.

@Pinkemi that'll be you waiting to start your cycle. My FP was two days late as well, which meant I had to reschedule all my scans, change holidays, flights, hotels etc

Nothing ever happens on time in IVF

Welcome back @LexieJean! Sorry to hear the IVF has been delayed.. but to be honest you gotta do what you feel is best. Thats why we wanted to do it this month because its the quietest with regards to holidays at work and our social calendar.

Nope not started injections yet! Was meant to start this evening but my FP STILL hasn't arrived! I am now 1 day late. Im trying to not get too excited because I have had like a 34/35 day cycle in the past without being pregnant. (I am day 31 today.)

I also took a test this morning and it was negative so.. I don't really know what to think.

Hi ladies
I've been awol - sometimes it's all just too much. Had the first ivf appointment today but we're going to delay until Dec/new year as there's just too much going on with my new job and I've no holiday days left till January. I feel very mixed about it all-sad it's more delay but its the right decision for us. It just feels so long away.

@dino sounds like you're doing well which is great news!

I'll try and catch up on all your news. @pink have you started on your injections?

Sorry about all the FP everywhere.

Stiiiillll nothing and still incredibly dry down there. (Knowing my luck i have an infection.) Cervix is still right up there.. and it feels softer than normal. AF is now 1 day late... and my temps are still rising ever so slightly. :-/

I am sure most of the symptoms are due to stress.... except for the rising temps. Ive never had that before.

But took another test this morning (a FRER) and it was still a negative.. I just dunno whats going on.

@owlpatrol, I totally understand. I’m normally genuinely happy for the pregnant friends, but some months months I really struggle. I feel so guilty when I’m jealous though and I totally agree - it’s a total waste of emotion and energy.
Must try and sort my cycle now AF, or chemical bleeding, or whatever it was is over. OPKs will hopefully help. Hopefully you’ll work yours out soon too

No I'm really confused with dates as well this month that as well as I've not really been using the opks

I've been pretty patient with my 2 x pregnant friends this week, I've literally got to a point now where I don't care I know it sounds proper doom and gloom but I've spent so much energy on being negative, jealous and everything in between that I literally only care about them and hoping they have a good labour, life's too short

@Pinkemi, your Dr situation sounds so stressful, Id be raging too if I was you! Hopefully AF is late to let you catch this cycle.
@Maddiie, so sorry your having a crap day, this game really is the hardest one ever! I often wanna scream that I’m not playing any more, but then I get broody again......it’s a mega tough emotional roller coaster!
@owlpatrol Hats off to you with the pregnant friends! I really struggle with that! Fingers crossed you get back into a rhythm soon. I’ve no idea what’s happened to my cycle after this months drama..... Lord only knows when I’ll ovulat now?! Knowing my luck, smack-bang in the middle of my holiday with the parents, where we can’t do much about it 😔

So.. its nearly 10:30pm and no sign yet of AF.. but i feel like she will arrive at some point tomorrow for sure. Have spent most of the evening ranging from being super happy to weeping at the smallest things.. i normally get pretty weepy the day or two before its due to start. to say im fed up with all this is an understatement.

@maddiie im so sorry you have been crying. (Hug) TTC is just pure shit.

@owlpatrol hats off to you! Not sure i could cope with that!

Hey everyone. Sorry to see some negative tests and bad news :(
So I have had my suspicions for a while that my hormone levels are too weird for the clearblue OPKs. This month I started using them at 7DPO which is way too early as usually I ovulate CD19 apparently.

7DPO - negative.
8DPO - high fertility.

Really???? Apparently the first one is always low because it is a baseline but I am sure no matter when I start testing it always jumps straight to high the next day. Then some months I have weeks of high until supposed ovulation and some weeks it goes to ovulation the next day.

I just don't believe them and I am sure that my hormones are not right. Feeling very frustrated. :(

Why did I cave on my no testing rule? Negative and I've been nearly crying all day 😭

Opk *

@Pinkemi oh no how rubbish! I had a major melt down this month and needed to let it all go it worked a treat!
Not much to report here today my friend is due to pop any day so plenty of "Oh I'm so fat and pregnant, get this out of me" comments and me coming up with usual have you had a curry, have you had sex? Comments..... sigh

No further knowing what's going on with us, may or may not have been in with it this month I've only used an lol twice so not exactly sure when I even ovulated! Dp has lost some pounds and taking some herbal tablets for increased testosterone it's something to do with losing weight!? Who knows whether it'll make a difference with ttc

and to make matters worse.. I'm convinced I am going to start any minute now.. I can feel it coming.

oh for god sake?!! Ive just had a call from the clinic to say that they wont allow me to start my injections before all the blood test results have come back.. not only for me but also for my husband. My doctors are USELESS! I asked them to do a list of specific tests and they have missed one off.. My cycle is due to start TODAY for petes sake.

Got my husband chasing the doctors surgery for his results and have booked us in for an 8am appointment to get my blood test done privately. Should have just booked it privately in the first place but didn't want to "waste" the money if we could get them done via the NHS.

I just have to "hope" that AF starts late tomorrow.. because we start injections on the second day of full bleeding... which should hopefully give us enough time to get all the results together.

i am FUMING with my doctor. This is not the stress I needed.

How is everybody doing? Hopefully those FPs won't show up!

Does anyone want some OPKs? I've got about 45 or so. I'm not using them or temping anymore, need to start letting go of that. I think I ovulate but nothing happens after that, so a bit fruitless really!

If one of you yammers wants them just let me know.

@Teachermummy83 Think your right about taking a break! I would be mortified if my parents heard me having sex. haha

@maddiie meee... I poke my boobs all the time towards the end of my cycle. Only yesterday i was thinking "Damn my boobs hurt.. and they feel so heavy!" Never heard of Hair hurting before.. how does that work?

@Owlpatrol With regards to hobbies.. Its going to sound really old.. but I cross-stitch. It keeps my hands busy so I don't get bored and eat. ha!

So... AF is due today and I am convinced she is coming. Had the worst nights sleep ever last night (mainly due to this cough ive got and my DH snoring more than normal) but I normally have a restless night the night before. Plus my hips are hurting and i felt a bit frisky before I went to bed last night. haha (Which is typical as my DH was working late. ) all signs of impending Dooooom!

But.. I feel dryer than normal and my cervix is still WAY up there.. feels softer than normal but i "think" this is just me trying to read too much into it. Have a small suspicion also that i've got a bacterial infection (again) as my lady parts are not feeling too comfortable. Sorry for the TMI. I'm in a sharing mood today.

Will update you if.. .sorry.. ONCE the witch arrives.

Thanks @Maddie, yup we were absolutely devastated. Even though it was so short lived, we were over the moon so it was a total kick in the teeth after trying for so long. If it wasn’t for the fact that we’re away on holiday next week, I’d have been in the pits of depression by now. Trying to convince myself It would have been horrendous trying to hide a pregnancy from my parents for a 3 week, hot-tub fuelled trip to the wine region for a family wedding with lots of parties etc planned! If I say it often enough, I’ll convince myself that anyway.....
Trying to be philosophical though, as reading that lots of folk conceive straight after a chemical so desperately hoping we can join that gang. Fingers crossed!

It sounds like your holiday did you the power of good @Maddie. This rollercoaster of TTC is horrific and messes with your head so much - I’ve never been so up and down emotionally as I have lately! I’m glad you were about to switch off and relax for a while - fingers crossed it did the trick - Your symptoms sound promising to me though - I had the awful metallic taste too just before my BFP. Will keep everything crossed for you xxx