The Good, The Bad and The Yams!

@OrcinusOrca awww they aren't easy and I've found that it literally depends on what day of the month and therefore hormones as to how I react!

Af hit me Thursday ladies so now I'm onto cycle 20....literally never thought I'd be here. I opened up to a friend of mine who has been ttc a while and she didn't know I was ttc so we had a good chat and I feel much better. She's starting IVF this year so I'm made over for her. Makes me feel like I'm not so alone in "real life"

I too poured myself a large wine last night I needed it! Dp gave me a reality check in the week as I've been so doom and gloom with work and ttc it has put a strain on him and that is not something I want at all! So I'm going into this month more positive than ever and if it happens it happens.....lets see when I get to day 26 haha!!

Also starting yoga next week never done it before but I so need some me time

What's everyone's plans this weekend? I'm off shopping and seeing a friend today can't wait x

Ps sorry for long post!

I caved and poas. BFN but not surprised really. Had two glasses of wine as a consolation prize ☹️

Hey @orca Baby bombs are so difficult to deal with, it’s such a mess of emotions. I think I’ve found it even harder when it’s been a really close friend over a work colleague etc. I guess because of the happiness for them mixed in with the despair? Either way, it’s friday so pour yourself a big glass of something and allow yourself a small time to be sad. It’s ok to be a bit sad- I get you don’t want to fall into a negative spiral but I don’t think it’s wise to repress or pretend you don’t feel sad for a bit. Sending you a yammer hug! 💐

*should NOT, darn it

I've had my first proper baby bomb. I'm trying to style it out. I feel incredibly sad and rather doomed. As for most other bombs, someone who hasn't been trying long, but they are mid 30's and I love them very much so am very pleased for them. What does one do, keep busy and ignore the feelings of sadness? I feel like I'm attracting negative energy right now, in reality of course positive thoughts should attract good things and bad thoughts shit things, but I am so veering into that territory now. I think I might read the law of attraction again later just in case!

Agree re lovely to hear of people pushing on and changing roles if they aren't happy. I moved roles a few months ago, work life balance is much better but obviously no luck TTC yet. I am a chartered accountant (I work in industry not practice) and am doing a stint in project management at the moment. I say a stint, it's perm role but I plan to go elsewhere within 2-3 years I think so that I don't end up too out of touch regarding the area I like most.

Well @books if the yams don’t work for you I’d say give the ivf a go whilst not working- it will avoid awkward time off requests etc

Wow I'm so impressed at everyone being so proactive and getting new jobs, contemplating change. Go ladies! I definitely agree that it's best to go for what you want work wise and sod the ttc issues surrounding it if poss. I'm currently unemployed but being paid my notice period and some redundancy. Doctors recommend ivf if we've had no luck in the next 6 months (well now 5). I'm wondering if we should get ivf booked in to do it before I start a new job but it's a scary thought. Especially as my low amh and high fsh suggests I won't respond well so I'm really hoping for a natural miracle. Maybe I need to get on the yams 😆

Well @owl I’ve made a Small change, I work in the interiors industry and I’ve moved to a bigger company- room for growth and more opportunity hopefully! So it’s not a total change, I didn’t need to retrain or anything. Not sure what to suggest for you- PAs are great everywhere so find a company/brand you love?

@LexieJean oooh what are you doing without giving away your identity? I am a Pa and it's all I've ever done so I don't know what else to do....office work is always the same anyway!

Well done on the new jobs yammers! And good luck for those applying. I’m on day 4 of my new one and I’m still excited about the change. I’m not pinning all my hopes on the new job getting me pg but the reduced stress and loathing can’t do any harm for TTC!

@Hopeislost yeah I'm in two minds about what I want to do work wise so I'm looking and applying anyway!

@Owlpatrol I've been thinking about changing jobs for a while and putting it off because of TTC and potential maternity pay. But nothing's happening wombwise so I've just gone for it!

@BGDino Congratulations on the new job! I've quit mine too as the stress was getting too much.

@BGDino ooh that's sounds promising good luck! And please report back!

@Owlpatrol I'm changing jobs to a place that's less stressful fwiw... working through my 4 weeks notice now

@Countrygirl94 that's a relief about your DH's work schedule will cross all my crossables for you.

@Owlpatrol sorry about your bfn but I agree with others I would change jobs if it's making you miserable, ttc is hard enough without also hating work.

@BGDino sorry about bfn, stats I find are just a cruel thing, there are so many variables that can affect them that really I don't find they worth anything.

@Rubberduckies @HidCat I shall do my temp at 5. Thanks for advice.

DH's job away has been pushed back so this month won't be a lost cycle now.

@BGDino - I wish they made it clear how long everything takes, because I just have no idea. Dr said she’d ask them to push it through quicker as we’d been waiting but who knows how long that might be. I always just thought that if we were unlucky enough for it to take a year, we’d get referred. When actually we went to Gp for hormonal bloods which took a few months to get the right day. When that was done they wanted a SA, when that came back they wanted us to wait 3 months for another SA, then ultrasounds.... I get the logic of doing tests first, but I wish they’d said from the beginning - this will take 6 months

@Countrygirl94 - My Dh has said he feels very guilty, very responsible and less of a man. He also thought I was just being pessimistic......I know i would feel the same if it was me but it’s hard to know what to do or say.... I agree with doing your temp the first time you wake up when your husband gets up at 5 if you can.

Sorry about the bfns :(

I always think that with the success rates, the statistics around natural pregnancy are pretty low, and people get pregnant all the time! The idea of needing several cycles of IVF is pretty terrifying though.....

That’s frustrating @owl - it took well over a year for my OH to contemplate that we might need an alternative plan. I think the school sex Ed had him convinced it would only take one time. I wish!! I still say focus on your job options, think about making a change. Don’t let TTC hold you back. I’ve just started my new job and I can’t believe I stayed at the old place so long ‘in case I get pg’.

Sorry about the bfn @dino. The odds are terrible, as I turn 36 in a few months I’m pretending not to know how low the success rates are. But then a natural conception chance is something crazy low like 15%!! 🤦‍♀️

Well, it definitely wasn’t implantation bleeding - negative test just now. TBH I knew the odds of it being implantation bleeding were hilariously low but I had to check... just in case. Feeling pretty negative about the whole TTC thing as one of the websites I went on quoted a 50% success rate for one IVF cycle in women

Hi ladies bfn for me this morning and some brown spotting so fully expecting af this week. Been speaking to dp because I need to make some decisions around my job ttc and way forward but he just wants to carry on however I need to know I'm doing something he also needs to get his sperm analysis done. I need a holiday

@Countrygirl94 I'd do it when your OH gets up at 5 as you're coming off the best block of sleep. My thermometer stores the reading so I can recall it later and don't have to worry about typing into my phone there and then.

@hidcat I think your right about him feeling slightly emasculated.

@rubberduckies I thought I had prepared him too I think to begin with he thought I was just being pessimistic. How annoying about your referral!

Question for anyone that does tempting, I'm attempting it this cycle. DH is up at 5am whereas I half open an eye then and again when he leaves at 6 go back to sleep and don't actually get up till 7. So which of these time should i be taking my temp?

@Rubberduckies urrgh that’s so frustrating! Especially when the process already feels like it’s long drawn out and complex! How long will it take for the referral to go through?

@OrcinusOrca - I think that with the B vitamins you generally need to increase them all together, rather than just increasing one, because it can put them out of balance? I think they need to be in balance for them to absorb properly if I remember rightly. It’s not dangerous or anything, and obviously if you were low in just b6, you’d just take b6 - but if you are taking it for something else I think that’s where you need the complex. I think it still can take a couple of months to affect your cycle, even though it is absorbed quickly, it’s then got to help strengthen the corpus luteum (I think!)

@BGDino - good news about the rubella! Hope your dh ‘s SA is ok

@Pinkemi - sounds like a good read. Remember to bring any little helpful tips back to us! I feel like we all could need it....

@Countrygirl94 - sorry for your Dh. Mine was the same even though I had tried to prepare him that it takes some people a year. That now seems a bit optimistic....And that’s awful about his medical, poor guy.....

@SparkwoodAnd21 - sorry that’s the worse kind of baby bomb. Just keep reminding yourself that he being pregnant doesn’t mean you won’t be

So when our Gp said she’d refer us she actually didn’t... Apparently she was waiting to speak to Dh about his results, but they didn’t tell us that. Also, we got a print out of the results and it was similar to before so Dh said he didn’t need to speak with a dr about it. She did apologise and said she would do it now.... So frustrating!

One piece of good news, my specialist called me yesterday and turns out I AM immune to rubella (just!), the lab we used had changed their reference ranges recently and he didn’t realise. Hubby has his SA today, and I’ve been started on thyroxine 50mcg daily as my TSH is a bit too high for someone who wants to conceive (apparently >2.5 increases your risk of miscarriage). So we’re moving, slowly.

@Pinkemi ooh yes let us know how you get on I need whatever you're having big time!